ballpoint

That's the peace time edition. This is the front line one:

I'm more <deleted> off at the thought of dying than afraid of it. I always want to see around the next corner. I want to see my grandson grow up, get married, have children of his own. I want to see what new discoveries will be made in physics, aiding our understanding of life, the universe and everything. I want to see how it all ends. I also agree with Christopher Hitchens that the thought that the newspapers will come out the next day, people will go about their everyday business, but I won't be around to see it, is a scarier thought than death itself. I was involved in a traffic accident a number of years ago and blacked out before impact, waking up in hospital with serious injuries which could very well have ended my life. Should I have died at that time, I wouldn't have known a thing about it, and certainly wouldn't have been able to care about how my loved ones in particular, and the world in general, were getting on without me in it, so I do know better than most that the actual moment of death is nothing to be afraid off, but the anticipation of it could very well be. In short, I will not go gentle into that good night, but will rage against it. I like to think that I did so while unconscious following my accident, which is why I'm still around today.

I'm test marketing my new Frank Sinatra jigsaw in New York. If they can make it there, they can make it anywhere...

I've invented a golf ball that will automatically go into the hole if it comes within 4 inches of it. They work brilliantly, but don't carry them in your back pocket.

Does anyone know if the Arachnophobia Helpline has a website?

I didn't think I would be the type of person to get up early and go for a run. I was correct.

My wife's so ungrateful She never thanked me for a lying in this morning, even though it meant she could get all the housework done without me getting in the way.

Today's annual Fibonacci conference will be as big as the last two combined!