How to deal with an antagonistic guy in my

[NanLaew]

22 hours ago, alex8912 said:

In my other interaction with the institution ( lol)  I asked him if he was being sarcastic and he specifically said in this case he was not.,I don't really know or think of anyone on this forum as an institution and I don't post that much and skip days reading it. 

But I do think it's too bad when newer blood ( not me) come on here for advise and some ( not most or all) habitual posters are a holes to them. I'm not being too serious either but some truth is in what I am saying. Thanks for your post and your info about Glasgow, sometimes I'm too lazy to google! 

Ah!... so you've caught up then. Good, so have I.

[MISTEEIED]

2 hours ago, bazza73 said:

True. I don't suffer fools gladly.

If so Mr Mitty, how on earth do you live with yourself?

How arrogant can one be?

 

 

[NanLaew]

My apologies to the OP for cluttering up his thread with nonsense that too many other people took far to seriously.

 

Nobody likes a bully or to be bullied and one doesn't have to be 'a fighter' to feel instantly intimidated when blind-sided by such aggressive, public and off-the-wall behaviour as displayed by the OP's neighbour. Another member suggested the smile and responding with totally non-confrontational and off topic verbal responses. The bully is looking for either the OP to back down and only pretending that he wants the OP to up the ante and fight. But he does want verbal combat so he can get more and more threatening and personal with these threats as the OP has already mentioned. The more I think of it, the verbal responses should be similarly off-the-wall but politely delivered with a smile like, "That's great but do you think Ozil's time is up the Gunners?" or "I hear you mate. My dad had a Viva and it was a rubbish car." or "Good point but who would have thought the Astros would win the World Series, eh?" If he responds with 'What the hell are you on about?' you can suggest that whatever the colour, they're in stock a Tesco's.

 

Put the bully on the back foot on the only really aggressive bit he has shown so far which beyond the little push and shove, has really only been his tongue.

 

Good luck with pursuing a non-confrontational resolution. He sounds like a sad, attention seeker and should be seen and handled as such.

 

PS. "Do you know it took me hours to learn the Achey Breaky Heart line dance?"

Edited November 3, 2017 by NanLaew

[canthai55]

Sometimes you just gotta stand up ...

Flock, Fight, or hold the Light

Edited November 3, 2017 by canthai55

[Puwa]

Step 1, seek advice on ThaiVisa...

[MISTEEIED]

Thank god for diplomacy and 3rd party intervention.

Last night there was a gathering of people in my area for a BBQ and drinks as part of Loy Krathong  party.

The full moon on the rise may account for all the really bizarre replies i got on this story, but had an opposite positive effect in my wee situation.

We had been eating and drinking from early evening and all was well , and my man was sitting in the distance with a couple of other guys and gals and partying on in fine form, laughing and joking. One of the guys, who turned out to be a brother walked past so i stopped him and asked about his sibling and what had i done to be on his bad side.

He sat down and explained ..2 years ago he was in a multiple vehical crash whereby an 18 wheeler had ran over his car killing his wife and basically taking off the top off his brothers head as well as many fractures. They were trapped under the truck for a long time and his wife was screaming non stop until she passed away, and the guy was semi conscious and totally unable to do anything at all except listen to her screams.

He has undergone many surgeries and is slightly mentally impaired, lives in constant pain, has major mood swings and is addicted to strong pain killers now.

This is why he acts as he does, which is totally out of character pre accident.

Long story short, the brother introduced me to the guy, who was very open to me, who appologised over and over, and was truely appreciative that i had made a positive move to him. Most others had just written him off as a nasty bully, nearly all the other tennants  call him stupid and a bully, when, as i now know is far from the truth. He is living a life of sheer hell , he blames himself for his wifes death and still hears her screams and relives the scene day and night.

Drinking relaxes him, so i guess the timing was right to get an answer from him.

I have a family member in a similar situation, so all he said really hit home.

We are heading out to play 9 holes next week,so all is looking well, as he is a really nice, interesting guy, it turns out.

 

Note to all the crazies who suggested thuggery, childish paybacks, police, solicitors, and everything in between before knowing the facts..Everything in life is not as it first seems!!

The Walter Mitty bazza73 guy who quote; doesn't suffer fools, is in fact the biggest fool, what a shameful serious of crap from him.

Live and learn and have compassion bazza, it may make a decent man out of you.

I am so glad i stuck to my guns and and did it my way.

Some of you who posted such utter nonsense should try it sometime.

[MISTEEIED]

2 hours ago, Puwa said:

Step 1, seek advice on ThaiVisa...

LOL yes, never, ever again.

I only did so on the recommendation of a colleague of mine.

Once bitten, twice shy, believe me.

[canthai55]

3 minutes ago, MISTEEIED said:

Some of you who posted such utter nonsense should try it sometime.

Or get your facts straight before coming on this forum.

You asked for opinions and invited suggestions to solve your problem on a public internet forum. Do not be surprised at the answers you get.

[MISTEEIED]

7 minutes ago, canthai55 said:

Or get your facts straight before coming on this forum.

You asked for opinions and invited suggestions to solve your problem on a public internet forum. Do not be surprised at the answers you get.

Thank you.

Never having been involved in such a forum before, i had no idea that this was the norm.

 And please read as i asked in my first post.

So..i'm pondering on the best course of action

Any one been in a similar predicament, and if so, how did you resolve it please?

 

Apart from a couple of sensible suggestions who i have already acknowleged , there was not really any "best course "offered apart from thuggery and childish paybacks and not one who had been in a similar predicament..as i asked...Yes?

Edited November 4, 2017 by MISTEEIED

[Dazinoz]

6 minutes ago, MISTEEIED said:

Thank you.

Never having been involved in such a forum before, i had no idea that this was the norm.

 

Unfortunately it is the norm. I have posted on here with all the facts but human nature as it is things get changed, others read the changed "facts" and reply to that and so on. 

 

One particular poster you mention has commented on some of my posts before and not in a nice way. 

 

I am happy that things have worked out for you but still be wary as he still could have severe mood changes which you have mentioned. 

[MISTEEIED]

54 minutes ago, canthai55 said:

Or get your facts straight before coming on this forum.

You asked for opinions and invited suggestions to solve your problem on a public internet forum. Do not be surprised at the answers you get.

Just curious..which facts did i not get straight?

[MISTEEIED]

41 minutes ago, Dazinoz said:

Unfortunately it is the norm. I have posted on here with all the facts but human nature as it is things get changed, others read the changed "facts" and reply to that and so on. 

 

One particular poster you mention has commented on some of my posts before and not in a nice way. 

 

I am happy that things have worked out for you but still be wary as he still could have severe mood changes which you have mentioned. 

Thanks, yes a good result was had.

I agree about the mood changes , but at least i know the reason if it does happen.

I really feel for the guy.

[Ron19]

A troll/Flame post and answer have been removed.

[transam]

A sad story indeed, lets hope that now the ice has been broken he may try and control his behaviour, if not then perhaps living in a "community" is not for him..

[Teak]

When you stop being an official tourist and live here you should always have some form of back up. Your wife (if from CM area) has connections with Thai family men who always know some tough guys. Throw a small party and show strength of back up. 4 Thai men with tattoos should suffice. Good food and drink...just a pleasant time for your guests and a few baht in their pocket.There should not be a further problem with some Foreigner unless he really needs a serious tune up. All your kids see is their folks having a party with some new 'interesting' friends. Let your wife control the situation with the Thai guests through her family.

[transam]

7 minutes ago, Teak said:

When you stop being an official tourist and live here you should always have some form of back up. Your wife (if from CM area) has connections with Thai family men who always know some tough guys. Throw a small party and show strength of back up. 4 Thai men with tattoos should suffice. Good food and drink...just a pleasant time for your guests and a few baht in their pocket.There should not be a further problem with some Foreigner unless he really needs a serious tune up. All your kids see is their folks having a party with some new 'interesting' friends. Let your wife control the situation with the Thai guests through her family.

You obviously ain't read the outcome...

[Gonzo the Face]

On 11/2/2017 at 9:02 AM, Dazinoz said:

I will answer for Baerboxer. Post #27. "BTW, bet the guy is either British or Australian"

It seems to me that :British " or " Australian" are nationalities....... Race is like "Caucasian" etc.

[Andrew Dwyer]

Glad to hear you have reached a satisfactory outcome to your problem. You took the right approach in avoiding confrontation ( IMO ), not sure I would have been as calm as you but I certainly wouldn’t have taken the aggressive approach recommended by some on here.

 

Thaivisa is an anonymous forum so you will always get a mixed bag of replies, some people gave you the advice they genuinely thought was ideal for your situation ( whether that aggressive, meek or submissive ), some just gave answers they thought were humorous .

This happens on any thread on TVF on any subject and you just have to read the posts with an open mind.

 

Don’t despair with TVF there are some genuine people on here offering good advice on a variety of subjects and I have taken, and hopefully given, some of this advice to my benefit, just ignore the nutters !

 

 

[Dazinoz]

37 minutes ago, Gonzo the Face said:

It seems to me that :British " or " Australian" are nationalities....... Race is like "Caucasian" etc.

From Wikipedia:-

 

Among the questions about how to define racism are the question of whether to include forms of discrimination that are unintentional, such as making assumptions about preferences or abilities of others based on racial stereotypes, whether to include symbolic or institutionalized forms of discrimination such as the circulation of ethnic stereotypes through the media, and whether to include the socio-political dynamics of social stratification that sometimes have a racial component. Some definitions of racism also include discriminatory behaviors and beliefs based on cultural, national, ethnic, caste, or religious stereotypes.

[FolkGuitar]

1 hour ago, Dazinoz said:

From Wikipedia:-

 

Among the questions about how to define racism are the question of whether to include forms of discrimination that are unintentional, such as making assumptions about preferences or abilities of others based on racial stereotypes, whether to include symbolic or institutionalized forms of discrimination such as the circulation of ethnic stereotypes through the media, and whether to include the socio-political dynamics of social stratification that sometimes have a racial component. Some definitions of racism also include discriminatory behaviors and beliefs based on cultural, national, ethnic, caste, or religious stereotypes.

 

Who ever wrote this like using big words, but had no clue as to the reality of the difference between 'race' and 'nationality.'  Just because you see it in Wikipedia doesn't make it so. You or I could just as well have written the quoted piece. It doesn't require academic credentials to post in Wikipedia, nor does it require verification.

[Dazinoz]

1 hour ago, FolkGuitar said:

 

Who ever wrote this like using big words, but had no clue as to the reality of the difference between 'race' and 'nationality.'  Just because you see it in Wikipedia doesn't make it so. You or I could just as well have written the quoted piece. It doesn't require academic credentials to post in Wikipedia, nor does it require verification.

Whatever you want to call it the poster of #27 was singling out Brits and Ozzies. 

[FolkGuitar]

4 hours ago, FolkGuitar said:

 

Who ever wrote this like using big words, but had no clue as to the reality of the difference between 'race' and 'nationality.'  Just because you see it in Wikipedia doesn't make it so. You or I could just as well have written the quoted piece. It doesn't require academic credentials to post in Wikipedia, nor does it require verification.

 

3 hours ago, Dazinoz said:

Whatever you want to call it the poster of #27 was singling out Brits and Ozzies. 

 

Yes. He was.  You might wish to ask him (but in its own thread) why he needs to single out any nationality, seeing as how every nationality has people with behavioral issues. No need for it here in this thread.

 

In fact, as the OP has come to a perfect resolution of the problem that first led him to start this thread, there doesn't seem to be any real reason to continue it.

[Dazinoz]

6 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

 

 

Yes. He was.  You might wish to ask him (but in its own thread) why he needs to single out any nationality, seeing as how every nationality has people with behavioral issues. No need for it here in this thread.

 

In fact, as the OP has come to a perfect resolution of the problem that first led him to start this thread, there doesn't seem to be any real reason to continue it.

Agree. 

[MISTEEIED]

1 hour ago, FolkGuitar said:

 

 

Yes. He was.  You might wish to ask him (but in its own thread) why he needs to single out any nationality, seeing as how every nationality has people with behavioral issues. No need for it here in this thread.

 

In fact, as the OP has come to a perfect resolution of the problem that first led him to start this thread, there doesn't seem to be any real reason to continue it.

 

 

You are correct on one point . there was indeed a perfect resolution to the problem

What i find quite disturbing is that all the gung ho lynch mob and poop throwers have not had the decency to even show a bit of empathy for the guy.

Immagine if i had taken the advice of the majority of posters and gone ahead with their preferred methods of justice, this poor guy would have been even more <deleted> up.

 

 

 

How do i get this closed please admin? and myself deleted from membership,or can i as of now request it to be closed.

Thank you, and what an eye opening bad experience of down in the gutter human behaviour was portrayed here , not by all, but by many many people.

Shameful.

Edited November 4, 2017 by MISTEEIED

[sappersrest]

Well done op glad you have it sorted, and alls well that ends well .good luck to everyone involved.

[canthai55]

17 hours ago, MISTEEIED said:

Any one been in a similar predicament, and if so, how did you resolve it please?

I take the live and let live approach. But if someone continues to act as described, there is only one recourse - stand up for yourself. A bully will back down, as they are cowards.

In the words of Mike Tyson - "Everybody has a plan ... until you get punched in the face"

And I am non violent

 

16 hours ago, MISTEEIED said:

Just curious..which facts did i not get straight?

The cause of his actions. A little time spent to ascertain the situation.

As before - Sometimes you Gotta stand up.

 

[prestburypark]

Jesus wept, how did you make it this far in life?

[flare]

6 hours ago, MISTEEIED said:

What i find quite disturbing is that all the gung ho lynch mob and poop throwers have not had the decency to even show a bit of empathy for the guy.

Sure, it sounds like a tragedy befell him, but the main issue is that there’s a mentally-unbalanced potentially-violent man with whom you’ve already had a physical altercation (as per the OP) living in your mooban.

 

If he hurts you or your kid during a mood-swing, the reason will in no way ameliorate that fact.  You still need to be prepared for how you will deal with him if he goes off-the-rails and his brother isn’t around.

 

When it comes to the safety of my family, while I can emphasize with the problems of others, they’re not my priority or concern.  This guy is potentially much worse than a run-of-the-mill bully (bullies act with a sense of self-preservation and some restraint- people with mental disorders do not).

 

Good luck.

Edited November 4, 2017 by flare

[metisdead]

Closed as per the OP's request.