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Being Ignored - Do you say anything?

Neeranam

By Neeranam
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Bill Miller Senior Member

Bill Miller

Posted
Posted
17 hours ago, lemonjelly said:

I’ve been told that waitresses etc giving the change to the wife is customary here, it’s one of those little nuances of Thai etiquette, you show status by paying, whereas collecting the change you’d expect in restaurants etc .... coins, small notes, kinda ruins the effect.

 

 

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The wife traditionally handles the finances in the family. It is her obligation to take care of what her husband brings in.
I often simply hand my wallet to my GF when the time comes to pay at a restaurant. This does several things. It is in accordance with the cultural norm, it shows the trust I have for her, and it saves me with less than perfect eyesight trying to fumble the correct notes out.

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Bill Miller Senior Member

Bill Miller

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There are a lot of cultural centric posts here, especially the westerners who opine that it is rude, improper etiquette, etc., for a waitress to bring the change to the woman, or present her with the bill, etc.
It is not a matter of anti farang discrimination. The Thai lady is traditionally tasked with handling the family finances.
I also agree with those who suggest your Thai language abilities may not be as good as you think. Mine are certainly mot very good!

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Billy Bloggs Senior Member

Billy Bloggs

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My 2 cents worth on this, my thai lady carries my wallet at all times, she sometimes tries to hand it to me to pay but I say you carry it you use it, I dont care who they hand the bill to its not a life defining thing. My thai is very minimal even after 3 years as Im trying to help my lady, her daughter and a nephew and niece with their english and try as much as possible to make them relate to me in english. I do find especially with the boy, he is very uncertain to talk as he is not sure if his pronunciation is up to scratch, on this point I have trouble myself understanding some fluent english speakers because of their accent and it can take me a minute or two to be able to understand them, but once I do its plain sailing, I cant imagine what its like for a not first language english speaker. To show this my lady early in our relationship just nodded and said yes it would be nice, I had asked her if she wanted to go to Koh Samui with me, what she later told me is she couldnt work out where I wanted to take her as she thought I said Koh Sa Movie and I still have trouble understanding her when she says a word for the first time I just go to the spell it for me.

I may however have to change my ways as an aunt, who has been so helpful since we moved to be closer to my lady's parents, wants to be able to talk with me and is hinting it would be easier if I learned thai.

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Rangerdriver Newbie

Rangerdriver

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My wife doesn't look Thai to many Thais and often mistaken for a farrang. We are often both Ignored whilst the staff all discuss which one of them will try to serve us. The chosen staff always show huge delight when they find out she is Thai quickly followed by a disapproving glance at me. We have walked out sometimes when the staff serve other customers before us who arrived after us. It's also annoying on the plane as my wife gets overlooked for a landing card by Farrang air hostesses. Personally I don't get it as she has very dark hair and eyes.


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maximillian Advanced Member

maximillian

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Eldest daughter (26) of my wife just ignored me. I gave her 40.000 Baht when she got pregnant, I bought her a decent mattress and many useful things; she never said "Thank you" to me directly, only via my wife. Fortunately she lives about 250 km away, but when she comes for a visit with husband and two children, she avoids to look at me. Husband and children behave in a normal way. Some time ago I also started not to look at her. Then finally talked to my wife, who said she hadn't noticed. So she talked to the daughter and all of a sudden the daughter was overly friendly to me. She said, she was shy to talk to me as her English is lousy.

i think she doesn't have to talk to me, but at least look at me when saying "Hello".

Will never understand bad behaviour as it makes lives more unpleasant for everybody.

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jak2002003 Platinum Member

jak2002003

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14 hours ago, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

Funny how they don't realise you are speaking their own language. White face and ears disengage from brain.

Happens all the time, 7/11 often, last was in the MRT station on Sunday. The other guy in the ticket office was just laughing at his stupid colleague.

Mai khao chai falang...

 

 

Maybe you can't speak Thai with the correct tones.

 

Even phonetically your 'Mai Khao Chai falang' is not right.  It 'jai' not 'Chai'... Chai means 'yes' mostly.  

 

 

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George FmplesdaCosteedback Advanced Member

George FmplesdaCosteedback

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Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, jak2002003 said:

Maybe you can't speak Thai with the correct tones.

 

Even phonetically your 'Mai Khao Chai falang' is not right.  It 'jai' not 'Chai'... Chai means 'yes' mostly.  

 

 

And transliteration is exact ? Have a look at the signposts.

L and R is the easiest to point out. I did a High Thai language course, but is a waste of time in normal conversation.

I knew some smart ar5e would try to say I don't speak Thai well enough.

Have you considered regional accents and colloquial expressions?

If you think you are an expert then you should know in the official translation is "Chai" with a "ch", but that depends on what you read.

"Jai" can mean heart, "Jai dee" for instance. But tone is only important if you speak words as there are five to learn. Try some Thai toung twisters:

"Dogs and horses come over the hill."

Tones really count for little if you can speak in a sentence.

 

Try that if you can...

 

"It 'jai' not 'Chai'"

Take a look at your English while your at it...

 

 

Edited by George FmplesdaCosteedback
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MaeJoMTB Silver Member

MaeJoMTB

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

Have you considered regional accents and colloquial expressions?

 

"Jai" can mean heart, "Jai dee" for instance. But tone is only important if you speak words as there are five to learn.

 

Most of us try to avoid bar girl speak.

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Ulysses G. Star Member

Ulysses G.

Posted
Posted (edited)

I have always preferred being ignored if accompanied by a Thai that I trust. I know that they are a lot better at dealing with other Thais than I am and will inform me if something is amiss. When we would go to immigration for the yearly visa. I would smile a lot and sit there like an idiot. It seemed to get me the visa pretty easily.

 

The only time that I regretted it was when I brought a female employee to the hospital to translate. They started asking me personal questions about my sex life and the girl thought I was a monk, because I had been somewhat discreet. That was the end of that.  :shock1:

Edited by Ulysses G.
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BudRight Gold Member

BudRight

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Posted

I've often had people not understand very simply things that I definitely know how to say. When I finally get through, I ask what the problem was. Usually it's that they were expecting me to speak English. Then I ask if they speak English. The answer is always no, so I wonder what the heck language I was supposed to use. If they don't understand Thai and don't understand English they might as well be deaf mutes.

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thaibeachlovers Star Member

thaibeachlovers

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When I went out with my wife I expected her to deal with the Thai staff. However, I do not speak conversational Thai.

 

Back in the home country the thing that bugs me about staff is ageism. The young people working as staff sometimes dislike dealing with old people and make it pretty clear. Too stupid to realise they will get old themselves. At least that does not appear to be a problem in LOS.

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Neeranam Star Member

Neeranam

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On 08/11/2017 at 4:24 AM, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

And transliteration is exact ? Have a look at the signposts.

L and R is the easiest to point out. I did a High Thai language course, but is a waste of time in normal conversation.

I knew some smart ar5e would try to say I don't speak Thai well enough.

Have you considered regional accents and colloquial expressions?

If you think you are an expert then you should know in the official translation is "Chai" with a "ch", but that depends on what you read.

"Jai" can mean heart, "Jai dee" for instance. But tone is only important if you speak words as there are five to learn. Try some Thai toung twisters:

"Dogs and horses come over the hill."

Tones really count for little if you can speak in a sentence.

 

Try that if you can...

 

"It 'jai' not 'Chai'"

Take a look at your English while your at it...

 

 

I'm still wondering what the guy that said, Paw mung Thai, means. Did he ever say?

Yeah, transliteration sucks here. I know guys  in in khon kaen, that think the second word is said kaen. Same for kalasin, should be a G. Some have been here over 10 years!

Actually, the Thai word , jai, is more like "mind", not heart. Jai Ron doesn't mean hot heart, jai yen doesn't mean cold heart etc. I compiled a document once with over 500 jai words, and although some were interchangeable, eg dtaam jai, follow your heart/mind, most mean mind.

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George FmplesdaCosteedback Advanced Member

George FmplesdaCosteedback

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Neeranam said:

I'm still wondering what the guy that said, Paw mung Thai, means. Did he ever say?

Yeah, transliteration sucks here. I know guys  in in khon kaen, that think the second word is said kaen. Same for kalasin, should be a G. Some have been here over 10 years!

Actually, the Thai word , jai, is more like "mind", not heart. Jai Ron doesn't mean hot heart, jai yen doesn't mean cold heart etc. I compiled a document once with over 500 jai words, and although some were interchangeable, eg dtaam jai, follow your heart/mind, most mean mind.

I think you need to look at regional accents more.

I'm not an expert, but, as happens in the UK and most other countries regions have dialects. Southern Thailand hardly use tones.

My favorite example of "tone usage" is: How do you sing a pop song in a tonal language.

I have asked university language professors, professional translators etc but nobody can tell me how.

I'd like to see what you have on "Jai" though, but "Ron" isn't a good transliteration for HOT wherever you are.

Thanks, not having a go, just interesting.

:thumbsup:

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1FinickyOne Ruby Member

1FinickyOne

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

My favorite example of "tone usage" is: How do you sing a pop song in a tonal language.

why is that a problem or difficult to understand... just listen to any Thai song and you should have a good example. Listen to Karabou or Loso... tones are intonations and notes are notes... using a high tone in A or E doesn't really effect the pronunciation, does it? I am surely not an expert in this and maybe I am misunderstanding you, but not sure what one has to do with the other. 

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Neeranam Star Member

Neeranam

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6 hours ago, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

I think you need to look at regional accents more.

I'm not an expert, but, as happens in the UK and most other countries regions have dialects. Southern Thailand hardly use tones.

My favorite example of "tone usage" is: How do you sing a pop song in a tonal language.

I have asked university language professors, professional translators etc but nobody can tell me how.

I'd like to see what you have on "Jai" though, but "Ron" isn't a good transliteration for HOT wherever you are.

Thanks, not having a go, just interesting.

:thumbsup:

Pleaser enlighten us and tell us what transliteration system uses some better word to transcribe "ron". I assume you know the main transliteration systems.

I don't understand why you're saying I need to look at regional dialects,as I know them.

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Neeranam Star Member

Neeranam

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2 hours ago, kenk24 said:

why is that a problem or difficult to understand... just listen to any Thai song and you should have a good example. Listen to Karabou or Loso... tones are intonations and notes are notes... using a high tone in A or E doesn't really effect the pronunciation, does it? I am surely not an expert in this and maybe I am misunderstanding you, but not sure what one has to do with the other. 

They have nothing to do with each other, you ae correct.

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MaeJoMTB Silver Member

MaeJoMTB

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Neeranam said:

Who taught you this?

Have you ever said this to anyone?

I learned it from my wife's fellow gang members/brothers.

My wife and I often shout it at each other, along with many other choice Thai favourites.

Mare mung see marr see damn ..... is another good one (replace the first 'see' with 'sam hee' if recipient doesn't speak Laos/Issan)

 

Don't forget goo, mung, eee, iii and a wa to replace 'cap' on the end.

Edited by MaeJoMTB
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MaeJoMTB Silver Member

MaeJoMTB

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Neeranam said:

Pleaser enlighten us and tell us what transliteration system uses some better word to transcribe "ron". I assume you know the main transliteration systems.

I don't understand why you're saying I need to look at regional dialects,as I know them.

More like 'rawn' as it  has sara 'awe' in the middle.

Completely useless trying to pronounce or even guess Thai words from transliteration, everyone should be forced to learn  the Thai alphabet.

Edited by MaeJoMTB
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