Trust.

[MadMuhammad]

31 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

It's gone, nothing you do or say will bring it back.

Women have changed, the way relationships work have changed, probably not for the better (IMHO).

Your nostalgia, and (senile) delusions can't change reality, move on, accept the world as it is.

Senile?! I’m a bit young to be suffering from that affliction and to remember ‘the good old days’ lol. 

 

While I’m under no illusion times and the way and reasons for forming relationships have changed over time not it’s a very broad generalisation that all women have changed. 

 

My reality is I have a intelligent, caring, non gold digging, young girlfriend. She is quite worldly and of a high intelligence. She is finishing a Masters Degree in Business & Finance, she teaches Thai & English and she comes from a family that holds very traditional values of which have been instilled in her.

 

When we first met it took a month or so of very intense courting on my behalf just to get the chance to hold her hand. And once this happened it took longer for any further intimacy (and no she didn’t have another boyfriend or significant other)

 

Now that we’ve been together for some time she is 100% committed and loyal. Although she’s a student and survives off the money she receives from her parents back home she pays for what she can and makes an effort to take me out for surprise dinners when possible (not insignificant for a Thai in Australia)

 

I’m sorry you have such a closed mind and twisted reality to what is really available if you find the right girl, take your time and, like I said, travel the difficult road of forming a friendship and getting to know someone before you have anything physical eventuates.

 

I’m neither delusional, nostalgic nor senile (far too young!) but I’m simply living this impossible reality you speak of.

 

 

 

Edited November 9, 2017 by MadMuhammad

[MaeJoMTB]

8 minutes ago, MadMuhammad said:

Now that we’ve been together for some time she is 100% committed and loyal. Although she’s a student and survives off the money she receives from her parents back home she pays for what she can and makes an effort to take me out for surprise dinners when possible (nit insignificant for a Thai in Australia)

555 you're dating a Thai student in Australia ..................... and know everything.

My prediction, it won't last 1 year past her course (if that)!

Edited November 9, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[MadMuhammad]

8 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Yeah, I had one of those for 25+ years ......... didn't stop the divorce rape at the end.

Good luck.

Growing apart over time is a far different reality than ‘all women have changed for the worse.’ 

My money and assets are protected in a business & trust structure far removed from myself. 

Question? After 25 years of marriage and partnership & supporting each other do you not feel she deserved any part of the family assets/finances to move forward and have a decent life?

And did this not cross your mind on initially tying the knot? 

I separated after 7 years from my fiancée at the time and I happily gave her 5 times more cash than she had any right to as she nursed me through I’ll health and put me before herself for a number of years. 

She was entitled to maybe $20Kaud but received $100Kaud without the need for lengthy and expensive time in family court.

Yes it was a lot of cash but I can sleep well at night knowing she was rewarded for the hard years and not punished for the last 6 months.

Edited November 9, 2017 by MadMuhammad

[MaeJoMTB]

7 minutes ago, MadMuhammad said:

She was entitled to maybe $20Kaud but received $100Kaud without the need for lengthy and expensive time in family court.

Yes it was a lot of cash but I can sleep well at Iggy knowing she was rewarded for the hard years and not punished for the last 6 months.

 

$20-100k a lot of money, I left my former wife with more than $1M.

But back to the issue of trust, you can't trust women, they have choices and (eventually) they won't choose you.

Edited November 9, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[Been there done that]

5 hours ago, 473geo said:

I guess that about wraps the thread up.... for me anyway......when you guys cannot stomach others success to the point where your best response is to accuse them of being liars, you have sunk to the lowest level possible.

 

 

Funny, i make a comment and you feel it is about you. 

[Been there done that]

11 minutes ago, MadMuhammad said:

Growing apart over time is a far different reality than ‘all women have changed for the worse.’ 

My money and assets are protected in a business & trust structure far removed from myself. 

Question? After 25 years of marriage and partnership & supporting each other do you not feel she deserved any part of the family assets/finances to move forward and have a decent life?

And did this not cross your mind on initially tying the knot? 

I separated after 7 years from my fiancée at the time and I happily gave her 5 times more cash than she had any right to as she nursed me through I’ll health and put me before herself for a number of years. 

She was entitled to maybe $20Kaud but received $100Kaud without the need for lengthy and expensive time in family court.

Yes it was a lot of cash but I can sleep well at night knowing she was rewarded for the hard years and not punished for the last 6 months.

It looks like you are quite a catch 

[MadMuhammad]

17 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

 

$20-100k a lot of money, I left my former wife with more than $1M.

But back to the issue of trust, you can't trust women, they have choices and (eventually) they won't choose you.

And you walked away with nothing? You entered in a partnership for 25 years which I’m sure was full of happiness, laughter and love. 

All I’m taking from this is that you’re a selfish person that believes he was the king of the castle and your wife was beneath you. 

You knew the deal, it didn’t work out. Deal with it and stop trying project your bitterness on others. 

Edited November 9, 2017 by MadMuhammad

[MadMuhammad]

6 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

It looks like you are quite a catch 

I’ll take your sarcasm as it was intended. 

 

I was just being fair and a decent person. Not trying to punish someone I loved and cared for a extended period and shared many ups and downs.

Why punish her for what was partially my fault? 

 

[Been there done that]

4 minutes ago, MadMuhammad said:

I’ll take your sarcasm as it was intended. 

 

I was just being fair and a decent person. Not trying to punish someone I loved and cared for a extended period and shared many ups and downs.

Why punish her for what was partially my fault? 

 

So you partially rewarded her ( guilt money perhaps ) and and now you have been rewarded in return by hooking up with a young wordly thai student. All this by patience and most likely in the meantime getting your needs satisfied by another cause the thai lady wants to give you the impression that she is a old fashioned girl. Jeeeezzzz. 

[MaeJoMTB]

12 minutes ago, MadMuhammad said:

And you walked away with nothing? You entered in a partnership for 25 years which I’m sure was full of happiness, laughter and love. 

I don't have one worthwhile memory from that time, and haven't seen the 4 children since.

Edited November 9, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[MadMuhammad]

6 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

So you partially rewarded her ( guilt money perhaps ) and and now you have been rewarded in return by hooking up with a young wordly thai student. All this by patience and most likely in the meantime getting your needs satisfied by another cause the thai lady wants to give you the impression that she is a old fashioned girl. Jeeeezzzz. 

No, no guilt whatsoever. Without her support through the tough times I wouldn’t be where I am now. She earned that money IMO. *note* she wasn’t Thai.

 

Why is is it so hard for you guys to believe there are quality, self respecting Thai girls out there? 

 

I’m 100% committed to my relationship with no need to be ‘satisfied’ elsewhere. I’m quite happy and content as it is. 

[MaeJoMTB]

Just now, MadMuhammad said:

Why is is it so hard for you guys to believe there are quality, self respecting Thai girls out there? 

Experience!

[MadMuhammad]

8 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

I don't have one worthwhile memory from that time, and haven't seen the 4 children since.

Well that’s very unfortunate and I do feel for you. 

Hopefully you can move forward and put it all behind you. All the best!

[MadMuhammad]

8 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Experience!

Ah right, so you’ve dated a a huge amount and a diverse enough percentage of the female thai population to deduce that every single one of them are the same. Wow, you must have dated 100’s of thousands of Thai women! 

How do you possibly find the time??!

 

*edit* over all these failed relationships have you noticed the one common denominator?

Edited November 9, 2017 by MadMuhammad

[Kadilo]

Experience!

"Your" experience


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[MaeJoMTB]

11 minutes ago, MadMuhammad said:

Ah right, so you’ve dated a a huge amount and a diverse enough percentage of the female thai population to deduce that every single one of them are the same. Wow, you must have dated 100’s of thousands of Thai women! 

How do you possibly find the time??!

 

*edit* over all these failed relationships have you noticed the one common denominator?

I know a lot of Thais, speak read and write Thai (If I have to) live in an exclusively Thai moobaan (1 foreign guy in 250 houses, me)

Have a 19 year old Thai step-daughter at university. She won't talk socially with a man that isn't immediate family, let alone a foreign man. Entirely normal for respectable single Thai women, they don't date, they don't socialise with men, and this is her choice. Respectable married Thai women won't socialise with men unless their husband is present either, that would be most improper.

 

All my failed relationships ...... one (in England).

Lived with a Thai hooker for nearly a year, not a relationship, she was an employee.

Married a Thai lady, 8 years, 1 son, not failed (yet).

Edited November 9, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[MadMuhammad]

1 hour ago, MaeJoMTB said:

555 you're dating a Thai student in Australia ..................... and know everything.

My prediction, it won't last 1 year past her course (if that)!

There you go making dumb assumptions again. 

 

I’ll leave it here as I’ve made my point and I’m refuse to continually clarify my position. 

You don’t know me or of my experience with Thailand and Thai women and there’s no point going further. 

 

thanks for the interesting perspective. All the best!

Edited November 9, 2017 by MadMuhammad

[wildewillie89]

Surely we must take into account period of time, and the circumstances of how relationships are formed. If we are talking certain aged women or women met in what may be considered 'undesirable' places to find a match, then yes, receiving a paycheck may well be one reason they stay.

However, it is 2017 now. Women in Thailand have greater opportunities and have had for a while. There is now a very limited number of excuses to not be able to find a woman in Thailand who makes her own paycheck and seeks a man for the 'right' reasons. If someone cannot, then I feel either the location is wrong, the age is wrong, or simply, the guy's personality is off putting (probably bitter if we go off this thread alone). 

 

I would be more inclined to think many on this forum are living back in the day/possibly are in relationships with women who haven't had the same opportunities so probably generalise a whole countries newer generation from their own very isolated experiences.

From the 'farang' I know, who I would consider genuine relationships, they don't feel a need to go down to the pub every night to listen to the constant moaning. So would be no surprises if members only see it written on here rather than in the 'real' world if you like. I haven't been to the 'farang' hangout for a good 12 months for this very reason. Anything positive said, is either taken as a lie, or even if the proof is in front of them, they will behave incredibly juvenile about it (also like on this forum lol).

[xylophone]

2 hours ago, MadMuhammad said:

There you go making dumb assumptions again. 

 

I’ll leave it here as I’ve made my point and I’m refuse to continually clarify my position. 

You don’t know me or of my experience with Thailand and Thai women and there’s no point going further. 

 

thanks for the interesting perspective. All the best!

I have to agree that it has become tiring reading some of the posts (not yours), some from posters who readily admit that their relationships drained them of large amounts of money or were "train wrecks", or who had one bad experience or another, YET they are so worldly and wise that they are making assumptions on other folks relationships and even telling them that they need to "re-assess" their beliefs with regards to relationships (as I was told in relation to one of my posts).

 

Quite why these pseudo-psychoanalysts have not been paid millions of dollars to work in the real world, is a mystery. And for the record I don't need to re-assess my beliefs as regards relationships and trust as I am quite happy with them as they are.

 

Good luck to you MM.

[idman]

Very simple,  TRUST IS EARNED, NEVER GIVEN.  Ignore that precept especially with the Thai Twinkies and you are a fool.

[MadMuhammad]

1 hour ago, xylophone said:

I have to agree that it has become tiring reading some of the posts (not yours), some from posters who readily admit that their relationships drained them of large amounts of money or were "train wrecks", or who had one bad experience or another, YET they are so worldly and wise that they are making assumptions on other folks relationships and even telling them that they need to "re-assess" their beliefs with regards to relationships (as I was told in relation to one of my posts).

 

Quite why these pseudo-psychoanalysts have not been paid millions of dollars to work in the real world, is a mystery. And for the record I don't need to re-assess my beliefs as regards relationships and trust as I am quite happy with them as they are.

 

Good luck to you MM.

Ah a voice of reason. I was beginning to think TV is exclusively the domain of pessimistic, burnt out, hypocrites. Thank you for restoring some faith.

 

You're spot on. It seems nearly everyone that responds to these threads are experts on Thailand, Thai women and whatever relates to their poor decisions and "train wrecks". While I'm happy to debate a point and put forth my experiences it does become rather like beating your head against a brick wall. It didn't work out for these all seeing, all controlling mental giants so it couldn't possibly work out for anyone else.

 

I've now had 22 entries to Thailand over the last 6 years. I've spent upwards of 18 months in country. I've "dated" bar girls and even put one up in a condo for 9 months just for fun and for the experience. I've done the family in Issan trips (too many to remember), had the sick buffalo/momma stories. No money for kids school once or twice (I tend to avoid the older ones or the girls with children) and just the plain old hard luck stories trying to pull on the heart strings. Great fun!

 

The difference is I came in with my eyes wide open and didn't let myself be sucked in too deep with these girls. Did I like them? sure. One I even fell in total lust with. But I always knew and understood what taking a girl out of a bar meant money and emotions wise. I mean, I didn't meet them in a library right??

 

Again all a lot of the snarky comments just reinforce why these guys most likely struggled in their relationships. I'm happy to hear their stories of woe and give my sympathies but, like you said, it does become tiring. I never tend to ask the pointless question of where and how they met their partners and I believe there would be obvious correlation.

 

I've just met my current partners parents and they aren't anything like the poor rice farmers from Issan. They have businesses and are quite well off so I won't be hearing the "sob stories" that's for sure. 

 

Great to hear your happy and content, as am I. Thanks kindly and good luck to you but it sounds like luck won't be needed!

Edited November 9, 2017 by MadMuhammad

[MaeJoMTB]

2 hours ago, wildewillie89 said:

I would be more inclined to think many on this forum are living back in the day/possibly are in relationships with women who haven't had the same opportunities so probably generalise a whole countries newer generation from their own very isolated experiences.

Was at the start (my misses left school age 12), isn't now, as she's finished high school and half way through university.

She owns a rice farm and farmhouse outright, along with a chunk of forest in Nan.

Wish I had some land!

 

Plenty of guys on this forum been banging a young Thai woman for 6-12 months and thinks she loves them ....... boy are they in for a surprise! Thai girls are good at the long con.

 

Edited November 9, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[473geo]

6 hours ago, Been there done that said:

Funny, i make a comment and you feel it is about you. 

Pleased my comment gave you a laugh, I wasn't aware you specifically mentioned 'excepting those that have no need or inclination to lie or embelish'  in your comment. If you had I would have known the accusation did not apply to me.

Edited November 9, 2017 by 473geo
clarity

[wildewillie89]

1 hour ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Was at the start (my misses left school age 12), isn't now, as she's finished high school and half way through university.

She owns a rice farm and farmhouse outright, along with a chunk of forest in Nan.

Wish I had some land!

 

Plenty of guys on this forum been banging a young Thai woman for 6-12 months and thinks she loves them ....... boy are they in for a surprise! Thai girls are good at the long con.

 

What is this long con? 

My Mrs has her own home loan, various vehicles, she has a few separate fair chunks of land 5km from the city centre and she has a job for life (set for around a 45k pension per month until she dies). What is she trying to take off me in this 'long con'? I don't give her any money, and from day one with the family it was established that no Sin Sord or money would ever be given to them as there is no legal rights for me. They, also being educated, logically accepted that. I also didn't bring anything into the country to begin with, so I can never lose out - other than potential lost years which I don't consider wasted as I have a daughter and a son on the way that I have spent those times with.  

The point is there is tens of thousands of women living in Thai, who are economically sound, looking for a genuine guy. The Amphoe Chief's wife once said to my wife, if you expect him to live in Thai he should not have to work and you should fully support him (as she has met this situation many times). As he has given up so much and you have a good job. It is literally the complete opposite idea that members on this forum like to generalise about. NEW GENERATION.

Again, if men cant find them, it is because the previous factors listed (location, age, personality), NOT because all Thai women are the same and out to get 'farang'. If you have this thought process then, of course, the only women you will find are exactly what you are expecting - the ones wanting to con you. 

Edited November 9, 2017 by wildewillie89

[Kadilo]

What is this long con? 

What indeed. There is a thread running which asked the same question as many use this phrase.
Bottom line there was nothing posted other than use your common sense, don't jump in, watch your finances as many posters have been ripped off after many years, some by ferang (myself included).
It's pretty much another cliche for those who have been burned to vent and spread their negative vibes............because it happened to them obviously it will happen to you.


Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Kadilo]

Ah a voice of reason. I was beginning to think TV is exclusively the domain of pessimistic, burnt out, hypocrites. Thank you for restoring some faith.
 
You're spot on. It seems nearly everyone that responds to these threads are experts on Thailand, Thai women and whatever relates to their poor decisions and "train wrecks". While I'm happy to debate a point and put forth my experiences it does become rather like beating your head against a brick wall. It didn't work out for these all seeing, all controlling mental giants so it couldn't possibly work out for anyone else.
 
I've now had 22 entries to Thailand over the last 6 years. I've spent upwards of 18 months in country. I've "dated" bar girls and even put one up in a condo for 9 months just for fun and for the experience. I've done the family in Issan trips (too many to remember), had the sick buffalo/momma stories. No money for kids school once or twice (I tend to avoid the older ones or the girls with children) and just the plain old hard luck stories trying to pull on the heart strings. Great fun!
 
The difference is I came in with my eyes wide open and didn't let myself be sucked in too deep with these girls. Did I like them? sure. One I even fell in total lust with. But I always knew and understood what taking a girl out of a bar meant money and emotions wise. I mean, I didn't meet them in a library right??
 
Again all a lot of the snarky comments just reinforce why these guys most likely struggled in their relationships. I'm happy to hear their stories of woe and give my sympathies but, like you said, it does become tiring. I never tend to ask the pointless question of where and how they met their partners and I believe there would be obvious correlation.
 
I've just met my current partners parents and they aren't anything like the poor rice farmers from Issan. They have businesses and are quite well off so I won't be hearing the "sob stories" that's for sure. 
 
Great to hear your happy and content, as am I. Thanks kindly and good luck to you but it sounds like luck won't be needed!

Negativity attracts negativity...........keep being positive and positive things happen.


Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[MaeJoMTB]

1 hour ago, wildewillie89 said:

Again, if men cant find them, it is because the previous factors listed (location, age, personality), NOT because all Thai women are the same and out to get 'farang'. If you have this thought process then, of course, the only women you will find are exactly what you are expecting - the ones wanting to con you. 

You're right, my 19 year old daughter wouldn't even speak with a foreigner (If i or mom wasn't in the room with her).

Plenty of respectable Thai women, but not much use if they won't speak to you.

Edited November 9, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[JLCrab]

1 hour ago, wildewillie89 said:

<snip> As he has given up so much ... <snip2>

?

[JLCrab]

23 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

You're right, my 19 year old daughter wouldn't even speak with a foreigner<snip>

So I guess your daughter is out.

[wildewillie89]

2 hours ago, JLCrab said:

?

Various useless studies have put my home city as the most livable in the world 7 years in a row apparently. To the point where the District Chief and his wife are now paying to send their daughter there for the next 6 months to study as they have done a lot of research on the place. So yes, they feel I have given up a lot to move to Thailand.