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SURVEY: Sexual harassment -- How do our members rank?

Scott

By Scott
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SURVEY: Sexual harassment--how do our members rank?  

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Thaidream Advanced Member

Thaidream

Posted
Posted

It should be fairly simple- touching anyone in a suggestive manner without their permission is wrong. Certainly grabbing a behind or a breast is sexual in nature and without permission- not to be done and possibly criminal .I make it a habit not to stare  at a lady when in the accompaniment of a man 

Some of the things that are being reported in the news are clearly criminal.  However, when an incident is reported to have happened decades ago and it is a single reported incident- I have to wonder.

Life in the West has become too complicated- especially when one cannot even compliment a co-worker on looking nice.

The first time I ever walked into a bar in Thailand- I was grabbed in the crotch  by a nice looking bar girl. No complaint here - however with the advent of smart phones I certainly wouldn't reciprocate -  I thought a phone was used to call someone or get a call not to be a window on the World.

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473geo Ruby Member

473geo

Posted
Posted

This thread is rather depressing. It is becoming prudent to ignore those around you, and only communicate using pathetic small talk about inconsequential subjects, and even then can a passing comment about the weather to a fellow passenger on public transport be seen as coming on to them! Minefield!

In short it appears you will never be quite sure where the 'line' is with a particular individual, so err on the side of caution, ignore them.....oh wait, but would that not be seen as discrimination if you were chatty to a couple of others in the office you knew to be less rigid in their approach to casual conversation!!

 

 

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jacko45k Star Member

jacko45k

Posted
Posted
16 hours ago, tigermoth said:

I have been subject to behaviour by women to me that at the current rate of disclosure where even a suggestive wink seems to constitute sexual harassment I have been sexually harassed. I wonder how many women are guilty of this????

A few have used their cunning ways to get out of paying for their half of the curry!

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Scott Star Member

Scott

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Posted
3 hours ago, mrwebb8825 said:

just how old is majority? 

I don't know.   It depends on where you are from.   It might be as young as 16 or as old as 19, depending on the country.   It also depends on whether it is with a male or female.  It's a general question, so the age of majority will vary from country to country and even within the same country. 

 

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toofarnorth Gold Member

toofarnorth

Posted
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I remember very well walking down Sukumvit in Bankers on my first trip here in 2004 , a bar girl came out from nowhere , grabbed me by the am , spun me round and in 3 secs. I ended up somehow on a bar stool with her sitting on my lap " You by me dink 'ansom man '  I probably did as I felt my undercroft getting squeezed.  Now that was getting harassed. This was the point where I thought LoS would be the place to live , came here agin in 2005 and not been back to England. Sorted !

 

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toofarnorth Gold Member

toofarnorth

Posted
Posted
On Sunday, November 12, 2017 at 1:59 PM, LolaS said:

I wish if ThaiVisa could do more to prevent harassment and intimidation of female members.

Sometimes I feel like I dont belong here-

Belong here on the forum or in LoS ? 

Anyway if that is you in that cute little picture .......................sorry , didn't mean to harass.

 

But while here , sometimes in the bank or waiting for the queue to move in walking st. a lady in front might have a bug in her hair or a label showing . I ignore this for the same reason a bloke might have a bug in his hair and I wouldn't want a slap from either.

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Minnehaha Silver Member

Minnehaha

Posted
Posted

absolutely, lots of stuff.

but all consensual.

 

this wave of political correctness, its great pith and moment, are enough to give us pause, surely.

and yet, I cannot help but point out that if age of consent and legality shifts so much with culture, one is surely left with ones own moral compass. pulling out the boy for fun and dances at inappropriate time can playful and shameful in different contexts. and forcing acts on another is not so grey at all. and did I ever have sex with someone who was attracted to my power and age and money? Yes, of course I did.  

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seajae Platinum Member

seajae

Posted
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when winking at someone is now considered sexual harassment you really have to wonder, while I am totally against genuine sexual harassment political correctness has gone way to far. These days a male only has to smile at a woman and he can be accused of it yet if a female does anything she isnt, two codes depending on gender like everything else now. Really shows that many of us grew up in far superior times before all this bullsh*t was dragged into being, have to wonder how a male and female can even meet and date these days without someone breaking a law 

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richard_smith237 Star Member

richard_smith237

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Posted

I think back to my younger days at Uni and am not particularly proud of the way I treated women. 

Some I abandoned in the middle of the night without a word, some I was quite rude to and perhaps even a handful who lacking sobriety were coerced into a 'drunken bodily union' and even got up and made me breakfast !....  But in retrospective self criticism I find myself remembering being on the receiving end of such treatment too !... 

 

If I were famous and perhaps more pertinent to recent events extremely wealthy there may even be a few who remember such events and may chose to speak out negatively. 

 

I have never 'pushed a no' and have never harassed a woman..  However, the issue is so multifaceted it impossible to be definite for each and every situation is individual and can and should be judged on its individual merit.  There are some ladies with whom I'm close friends and I'm downright cheeky, boisterous and sexist, but I draw the line at any contact particularly which may be construed as 'sexual'. The issue here is that while the ladies in question may well play along and join me in the 'boisterous banter' others may not welcome such comments, neither may other men welcome the comments of those ladies with whom I'm verbally sparring, joking, exchanging stories and generally enjoying being friends with. 

 

It is for each of us to evaluate our comfort zone and that of whom we are interacting. 

 

The 'line' which shouldn't be crossed isn't a line, its constantly moving window which meanders through the spectrum of appropriateness. Without this interaction perhaps becomes more forced, less natural and less enjoyable. 

 

Acting now as I did at University would be inappropriate and acting at university as I do now would seen me with far fewer female friends as my standoffishness would seem, well, standoffish.

 

Women are equal, they should be viewed as equals and with that I give them them the respect they each deserve along with anyone else I meet, and, as interaction becomes more concentrated so it becomes more natural and enjoyable for both parties. 

 

There are some pigs out there. Guys who are total and utter dogs who's behavior is disgraceful - its clearly ok to say that. However, equally so there are some women out there who's behavior is equally disgraceful who are taking advantage of a political charged climate, who use political correctness to their advantage whenever the opportunity arrises - for some reason its not ok to say that, which leaves me wondering where is the so-called equality now?

 

Unfortunately we now live in a society where political correctness kneecaps common sense, this same political correctness is now kneecapping natural interaction. Women are talking of 'glass ceilings' and 'ice ceilings' and many comments are fare, balanced and just, however, some are overdoing it and the glass ceiling is turning into a 'glass box'..... one which surrounds everyone, one which hinders interaction, prevents social development. 

 

There has to be a healthy balance, but in a society which is starting to demand a 'set of rules' for each and every interaction I fear in aggregate the outcome and only be damaging to society on a whole. 

 

Reacting with the 'others' can be a delicate situation, but it shouldn't have to be for both parties, if both parties can simply remember that each is deserving of a mutual level of respect. 

 

 

 

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Mac98 Advanced Member

Mac98

Posted
Posted
On 11/11/2017 at 10:43 PM, tigermoth said:

I have been subject to behaviour by women to me that at the current rate of disclosure where even a suggestive wink seems to constitute sexual harassment I have been sexually harassed. I wonder how many women are guilty of this????

Under current norms I have been raped twice by women and sexually abused another time. Passed out or sick from alcohol on a few rare occasions, these women proceeded with their wishes despite repeated pleas to go away. Note: why is it, in these times of total equality, that if two people each have a few drinks and engage in consensual sex that only the woman can change her mind the next day and claim rape. Somehow she can't think straight after a couple drinks but he can? He is the superior being? Isn't that sexist?

Note II: If you Tweet to ask a coworker out for coffee and she declines, that, on its face, marks an unwanted advance and its on record. It also proves that sometime during your career you must have looked at her. Be prepared to lose your job, your house, your career, your freedom, your pension, your dog.

    An employer or boss should never be allowed to demand sexual favors for employment or promotion. I am just pointing out where these new rules have gone too far. Nice guys follow all rules and keep their distance. The guys who could care less about rules are the majority of those still interacting with women. And now women ask: "Where have all the good guys gone?"

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HereIAm Senior Member

HereIAm

Posted
Posted
On 11/13/2017 at 10:37 PM, seajae said:

when winking at someone is now considered sexual harassment you really have to wonder, while I am totally against genuine sexual harassment political correctness has gone way to far. These days a male only has to smile at a woman and he can be accused of it yet if a female does anything she isnt, two codes depending on gender like everything else now. Really shows that many of us grew up in far superior times before all this bullsh*t was dragged into being, have to wonder how a male and female can even meet and date these days without someone breaking a law 

Then again, LOS is still the one place -- despite so much deterioration in this matter in other parts of the world -- where a guy can smile at a lady, a perfect stranger, on the road or in a coffee shop, and still win back a grateful look and smile. Speaking from experience :-)  

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HereIAm Senior Member

HereIAm

Posted
Posted
On 11/13/2017 at 1:32 AM, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

Why is this about perpetrators not victims?

I'm sure many of the TV members can tell a story of being molested in Thailand by transsexuals.

:shock1:

 

Songkran is one of those happy occasions when tourist guys can expect to get freely and joyfully molested on the streets. One time I was in shorts and a tee and a girl -- at least I am sure she was a girl -- pulled back the neckline of my tee and poured water down my back. When I laughed and took the cup from her hands and did likewise to her, she reciprocated again by pulling back  the elastic of my shorts and splashing water in. Unfortunately the score ended 2-1 in her favour, with me preferring to play the the decent guy. 

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fanjita Rookie Member

fanjita

Posted
Posted (edited)

I smacked a Thai girl on the buttocks at a party in the UK a year or two ago.  Not sure if my wife noticed or not.  The Thai girl didn't bat an eyelid.  It was such a beautiful posterior that I couldn't resist.

 

Edited by fanjita
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theguyfromanotherforum Silver Member

theguyfromanotherforum

Posted
Posted
On 11/13/2017 at 12:07 PM, seajae said:

when winking at someone is now considered sexual harassment you really have to wonder, while I am totally against genuine sexual harassment political correctness has gone way to far. These days a male only has to smile at a woman and he can be accused of it yet if a female does anything she isnt, two codes depending on gender like everything else now. Really shows that many of us grew up in far superior times before all this bullsh*t was dragged into being, have to wonder how a male and female can even meet and date these days without someone breaking a law 

 

Wow, you really sound like loser.

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malt25 Gold Member

malt25

Posted
Posted
On 11/11/2017 at 10:57 PM, chickenslegs said:

I never harrassed anyone for sexual favours, but I did have some very indecent thoughts and dreams about many women - especially in my teens and twenties.

 

Hopefully, I will be long dead before those "thought crimes" become illegal.

 

 

"some very indecent thoughts"... "in my teens and twenties."

I'll be burning in the fires of hell for eternity. I'm 69 & still have very indecent thoughts.

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thaibeachlovers Star Member

thaibeachlovers

Posted
Posted
On ‎11‎/‎14‎/‎2017 at 12:07 AM, seajae said:

when winking at someone is now considered sexual harassment you really have to wonder, while I am totally against genuine sexual harassment political correctness has gone way to far. These days a male only has to smile at a woman and he can be accused of it yet if a female does anything she isnt, two codes depending on gender like everything else now. Really shows that many of us grew up in far superior times before all this bullsh*t was dragged into being, have to wonder how a male and female can even meet and date these days without someone breaking a law 

The real problem is misuse of power to gain sex, not such things as winking etc.

The actual problem for powerless men such as I is that it has become used as a means to beat ALL men regardless of our guilt or not, so nothings like winking are now equal to kidnap rape in the eye of anti male pro PC feminists.

 

I winked at a woman on a train about 50 years ago, but in the current political fiasco I should be burned at the stake for that heinous sin.

Unfortunately, no men in high positions of authority are prepared to call time on this nonsense, so it will carry on regardless of reality.

 

I once put my arm around a woman's ( I knew her, but we weren't dating ) shoulder without written permission, so I'm expecting the PC police to turn up and arrest me any time soon.

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