Thai girl affair: a story about pragmatism VS naivety&jealousy... for how long?

[The white Rider]

On 02/02/2018 at 7:28 AM, zaZa9 said:

If Im not mistaken , you would be getting them to.

Do you point them out to her ?

 

Perhaps , having been 'black' all her life , and being a black Thai means being ignored at best , she is very needy when it comes to attention?

Attention is like a drug to her now?

If so this could abet  'butterfly' behaviour.

 

Whatever , that stuff   would get up my nose very quickly ...

You might be right indeed. She is kind of needy about attention, yep... I don't get upset about that behaviour because my jealousy is really low so I just say "oh, good, khun suay mak" and change topic right away as she's kind of teasing me. Whenever I talk about any girl (past or present) she usually gets jealous... and I think that contrast sometimes even makes her confused...

[The white Rider]

On 02/02/2018 at 4:24 AM, todlad said:

Sorry but I was born and brought up in a place where being blunt is normal. It helps sometimes since it is clear where we stand. I never intend to cause offence and have been known to apologise if I have.

 

By the way, there are many of us on TV who have done what you are talking about but with one big difference. Yes, I know I took a risk doing what I did but I did not fall for the first girl I met and I did not consider moving in with her, even for a trial period after only a very brief period together. In the end, my first real prospect here turned out to be a chancer: I don't know how many men took refuge with her but I withheld my trust for the best part of three years as I worked away and came here frequently until I thought I knew everything. At the 11th hour I learned about Michael ... and Lewis and others. A bit like your friend Jim!

 

You seem to have said what I kept saying to this woman: only you and only me. But when I learned that I was the date on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and "spending time with her mother" on Tuesday, Thursday and the weekend turned out to be boning sessions with Michael, I left her immediately. No questions asked. No other chances.

 

I recommend you do the same: 1 to 3 months with this one could be heavenly but trusting her is a fantasy from my experience.

 

I think this is the thread you are looking for and you will see there are many replies with lots of first rate advice: 

 

 

There was no offence at all, mate thank you so much for the link and that shared experience, that's valuable stuff indeed

Edited February 3, 2018 by The white Rider

[The white Rider]

On 02/02/2018 at 8:01 AM, theguyfromanotherforum said:

What is her job at the bank exactly?

 

None of my wife's friends who have serious jobs find the time to party even once every 6 months.

 

Even my much younger unemployed ex didn't party 3 times a week and she was wild.

 

 

She works exchanging cash in a bank counter. Foreign remmittance office.

[MaeJoMTB]

4 hours ago, The white Rider said:

She works exchanging cash in a bank counter. Foreign remmittance office.

Cashier?

I've met plenty of them.

(Sorry)

Edited February 4, 2018 by MaeJoMTB

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎2‎/‎2‎/‎2018 at 10:05 AM, The white Rider said:

Can't deny that your post sounds pretty blunt and I appreciate that honest feedback. Is there any link to that similar love story? If so, would be helpful for me to be posted here.

This said, real experiences from others (that lived something similar) are the most valuable to me. And (if at all) moving to Samui for 1-3 months (since that's what I'm allowed via tourist VISA) to try out, is not a "real-risk decision" in my case. Of course, that's a personal fact...

Thaivisa is full of such stories in the archives.

[pgrahmm]

[The white Rider]

18 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Cashier?

I've met plenty of them.

(Sorry)

Why sorry?  Any interesting experience/conclusion about cashiers? 

[Here It Is]

On 30/01/2018 at 5:47 PM, The white Rider said:

and the most important fact: she seems to spend the big cash whenever we both meet… (flights from Samui, fancy hotels, tours, souvenirs,…)

That's a very important fact.  Joyce is not draining you for money and going dutch with you.  This is very commendable.  

 

Just one or two questions, though.  How can a money changer afford such luxuries?  

 

On 30/01/2018 at 5:47 PM, The white Rider said:

She used to party whenever she had a day off (2-3 times a week).

That's a lot of days off for a bank worker and what with her staying out until 4/5am two to three days a week.  Have you any solid proof of her ongoing employment in banking?  And if she lives and works in Samui what was she doing in Bangkok?

 

On 30/01/2018 at 5:47 PM, The white Rider said:

Not the typical guy who is unable to get girls in his country

What's that supposed to mean?  

 

Edited February 4, 2018 by Here It Is

[Songkran18]

If you really read Private Dancer, you missed the wisdom of the ex-pats, who have seen most of it. Viewing  Thai woman other than jism receptacles, you already have a Noose around your neck. 

[473geo]

Just keep it all loose until you feel you are in a position to move the relationship onto a level you are more comfortable with, if you feel later that is the way to go.

You are possibly not in that position right now, what you can currently offer may not be enough.

So don't put pressure on yourself, have an enjoyable time, and for now opt for a comfortable ride, without attempting to look too far up a road that undoubtedly holds few blind corners to negotiate.

[pie hans]

Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk

[The white Rider]

Hi again, friends

I didn't want to flood this thread too much after all the feedback gotten (again, thanks a lot indeed) so I've been waiting a bit to update it. Nonetheless, some crucial facts have been going on during the last week so here we go again...

Though the final part is the MAIN ONE, I wanna summarize some "highlights" within these 3 months. I may look like I've lost my head completely at some points but, anyway, as i did in my OP, I want to take the chance to share my experiences that may help future readers in similar situations:

 

- We had a really bizarre episode going on in february: one day, she sent me some pics that explicitly revealed she was "having fun" with another western during that weekend. In reality, there was nothing new for me, just the explicit gesture... I didn't need to know about it in such a blunt way and I felt hurted this time...
That led to several days without talking and I was decided to quit. But days went by and she started texting again claiming she was testing me because she couldn't understand my lack of jealousy if I had true feelings for her... (though that didn't changed the "good times" she spent with the farang).

Eventually, things got back to normal again... (yep, hard to believe, I know...)

- A couple of weeks later, she applied for her passport in order to have a trip to Spain on summer. She got it right away. No questions, no requests about money, flights, Visa expenses... no expectations about me paying anything...

- I had a lightning trip to Samui one week ago. I wanted to see her again in her own environment before making any move about her trip to Spain. Again, we had a great time together, awesome sex, I met a couple of workmates and friends, she paid for most of my expenses and cried when I left ((though I shouldn't omit the fact that she refused to stay with me in her place, alleging she didn't want her neighbours to gossip)

- Two days ago, by chance, due to several facts and elements, I just found it out...
  SHE IS A PART TIME HOOKER. 100% CONFIRMED.

 

(Yes, I know most of the feedback in this thread was ringing the bell and of course, I never discarded this possibility)

But I'm still shocked about the bunch of little coincidences that made it possible for me to know it 100%...
Looked like a puzzle... Had I missed one single piece and I'd still be at the same point I was 3 months ago (suspicions but no physical evidences).

It may sound insane but... I didn't let her know yet about this... I'm acting as nothing happened (not that easy right now but still possible...) It's like a part of me wants to keep a cool head about it until some days go by... somehow I need to re-write the whole story in my mind and approach it from a different angle before making a choice...

Dump her from the root... VS ...Keep her for fun...

Can't help to consider the second one...

Why didn't she ever ask me for money? Is she playing the "long game?
Why do I look like "number 1" if she needs the money and I'm not paying when there are lots of men willing to pay?
Why didn't she push me on the background yet? and prioritize another guy?

 

Edited April 22, 2018 by The white Rider

[seajae]

mate, like many farangs you are thinking with your little head, great sex isnt the be all and end all for a serious relationship especially when your putting it in where other guys are too, great way to catch things. I think you have been aware she is a hooker for some time due to her spending and partying but have been letting your dick do your thinking, if you are comfortable with her screwing other guys its your life. Be honest about it, tell her the ride is over and why or continue and know you will always be dipping it in other mens business.........then again you could move her to spain and let her share all your male friends as well which is probably why she is with you

Edited April 22, 2018 by seajae

[The white Rider]

Yep, I admit it... It's hard for me to acknowledge how lust must have ruled so far...

On the other hand I'm a man who always tries to be hopeful... unless I get the "empiric evidence"... But know it's 100% crystal clear... and the right thing to do is tell her as soon as possible...

OMG... I cannot dodge the last questions in my previous post, though... I even started reading this post:

Sorry for my dumb comments... I just can't help it, I'm trying to justify things...
"I know she supports her family and the bank paycheck is not enough, she has her reasons to do it, she always treated me well when we spent time together, she even spent money on me..."

Guys, I'm dealing with my emotional rollercoaster, my mind still struggles to fit all this...

Yep, it's obvious I have a long way to go now... I'm blinded by the thai fever...

(I read the book, BTW... a must have, thank you @Khunper, indeed)

Edited April 22, 2018 by The white Rider

[Stokakrishna]

There are plenty of fish in the sea.

 Why hang to one which is <deleted> by all other fish?

 

 Are you so fugly you cannot get another girl? Or so poor that need a hooker with money to make you happy?

 

[poanoi]

as long as you have a good time, arent jealous or fear STD,

there is no reason for you to call it quits IMO

[The white Rider]

On 23/4/2018 at 3:51 AM, Stokakrishna said:

There are plenty of fish in the sea.

 Why hang to one which is <deleted> by all other fish?

 

 Are you so fugly you cannot get another girl? Or so poor that need a hooker with money to make you happy?

 

You're right, of course I can have another one... but this Thai left her mark, even being a hooker...

I don't fall for a girl that easily, I've spent years divorced from infatuation... and yet, it happened now... I was not protected against the Thai fever...

[The white Rider]

1 hour ago, poanoi said:

as long as you have a good time, arent jealous or fear STD,

there is no reason for you to call it quits IMO

A part of me is claiming to remove the drama, live and let live... but I still feel confused about what I want now...
STD... I always used protection but... STD in Thailand hookers shouldn't be taken as a joke, right?

[poanoi]

3 minutes ago, The white Rider said:

A part of me is claiming to remove the drama, live and let live... but I still feel confused about what I want now...
STD... I always used protection but... STD in Thailand hookers shouldn't be taken as a joke, right?

i got 5 gonorrhea out of 10 possible when i swore to never again

risk it again, but others seem to think acid down the dick isnt a big deal,

well, they can have all of them as far as i am concerned,

it aint gonna happen me again is all i got to say

[Stokakrishna]

1 hour ago, The white Rider said:

You're right, of course I can have another one... but this Thai left her mark, even being a hooker...

I don't fall for a girl that easily, I've spent years divorced from infatuation... and yet, it happened now... I was not protected against the Thai fever...

Well then. If you are comfortable.  And it seems you like her a lot. Then go for it.  Have fun. Jhst dont lose your head. Cheers

[todlad]

1 hour ago, The white Rider said:

You're right, of course I can have another one... but this Thai left her mark, even being a hooker...

I don't fall for a girl that easily, I've spent years divorced from infatuation... and yet, it happened now... I was not protected against the Thai fever...

You are stubborn, perhaps because of laziness and/or infatuation. Maybe your Thai girl is stunningy beautiful and you can't get over her looks. Maybe you are plug ugly: you have that right!!

 

I always say this to a new girl/woman: I don't care what you were but I do care about what you are and will be. If you are prepared to blunder on as you certainly seem to be doing, you are wasting our time by continuing to engage us here.

 

However, you have been given a lot of food for thought here: feed on that with your madame.

 

[jenny2017]

OP, meeting a girl when on holiday and living with the same one 24/7 is completely different.

 

  No idea why you're calling your Spanish gf a Gik? You didn't mention that you've met any of her friends in your longer post.

 

   She's not making enough money in her ordinary job to pay for fancy hotels, or flights. If she wouldn't have planned to rip you off, she'd have sent the cash to relatives who need money, or perhaps to her Thai lover.

 

  If you continue your relationship there'll be the wake up call one day. A phone call at night that she'd killed somebody in a car accident and she needs a lot of cash to buy her freedom, anything is possible.

 

   She could work for an Escort service, but it just doesn't matter. Enjoy the time you've got with her to the fullest, but use protection, you don't seem to be the only guy she's screwing.

 

   Things will completely change when you move together and you see her without Make up.......I still think about my Spanish gf Paloma I had 30 years ago. 

 

Thai girls are totally different until you find out that they are not. 

 

   Ain't Talkin Bout Love/