Why do farangs come to Thailand if they dislike Thais and "Thainess?"

[joeyg]

It's such a common theme but it confuses me.  Why would one spend valuable time in a place that one mostly complains about.  seems like madness?

[Bill97]

Sex makes many stupid.


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[brewsterbudgen]

For work.

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[joeyg]

3 minutes ago, Bill97 said:

Sex makes many stupid.


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Correct but that is true everywhere.

[Dmaxdan]

I think you are mixing up disliking Thais and Thainess with grumpy old man syndrome.

[mauGR1]

There are positive and negative aspects in everybody, and in every place of the world.

I like to discuss the pros and cons.

If one's complaining too much, it just means he's having a bad day imo.

[joeyg]

3 minutes ago, Dmaxdan said:

I think you are mixing up disliking Thais and Thainess with grumpy old man syndrome.

Good point...

 

[DipStick]

3 minutes ago, Dmaxdan said:

I think you are mixing up disliking Thais and Thainess with grumpy old man syndrome.

Using this theory, it would appear that 99% on here must be grumpy old men

[jak2002003]

9 minutes ago, Dmaxdan said:

I think you are mixing up disliking Thais and Thainess with grumpy old man syndrome.

Yes, agree.  These kind of people would be just as grumpy and complaining about other people, things, back in their country of birth.  

 

 

[Dmaxdan]

2 minutes ago, DipStick said:

Using this theory, it would appear that 99% on here must be grumpy old men

At least, myself included 

[sammieuk1]

I only came for the gambling, drugs, darts, bridge, vaping, and beach smoking but was miss informed.  

[meatboy]

after over 35yrs.i am beginning to dislike the the thai-ness of farang virus which is ripping off every one of us.

[DrTuner]

Used to be cheap cost of living and climate. Climate is still ok. Thailand is a nice place, just have to find a way to get rid of Somchais or at least avoid at all costs.

[Jingthing]

I'm somewhat guilty of what the O.P. is saying. I can't relate to "Thainess" at all. My personality is closer to a New Yorker even though I'm not one. I like to speak plainly. I want to complain when it is deserved without people freaking out, and losing face myself, when it's actually the people that have deserved the criticism that should lose face in my POV. The respect for authority without critical thinking truly and deeply grates. It seems ignorant and radically anti-intellectual. Don't get me started on the quality of Thai mass entertainment. OMG!

 

I'm just here (in Pattaya) because it's a poorer man's Miami. The visas are easy, the food is good and cheap, you can buy prescription meds cheaply without prescriptions, I hate cold and snow, etc.

 

I don't have anything against the people here specifically, but again, the culture is a bad fit for me.

 

Every choice is a tradeoff especially if you ain't wealthy. For me the pros have (so far) outweighed the obviously very bad fit with the culture. 

 

I know there are lots of people like me as well. Judge me, or them, harshly if you like. Who cares? 

[Wang Lalker]

t think you are confusing "Thais and "Thainess?"" with emmigration officers and their ongoing verbal abuse and harassment

[Bluespunk]

Or another question could be, why do so many leave their critical facilities and ability to point out reality at passport control?

[Odysseus123]

4 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

I'm somewhat guilty of what the O.P. is saying. I can't relate to "Thainess" at all. My personality is closer to a New Yorker even though I'm not one. I like to speak plainly. I want to complain when it is deserved without people freaking out, and losing face myself, when it's actually the people that have deserved the criticism that should lose face in my POV. The respect for authority without critical thinking truly and deeply grates. It seems ignorant and radically anti-intellectual. Don't get me started on the quality of Thai mass entertainment. OMG!

 

I'm just here (in Pattaya) because it's a poorer man's Miami. The visas are easy, the food is good and cheap, you can buy prescription meds cheaply without prescriptions, I hate cold and snow, etc.

 

I don't have anything against the people here specifically, but again, the culture is a bad fit for me.

 

Every choice is a tradeoff especially if you ain't wealthy. For me the pros have (so far) outweighed the obviously very bad fit with the culture. 

 

I know there are lots of people like me as well. Judge me, or them, harshly if you like. Who cares? 

Interesting post.

 

A lot of honesty in it.Very unusual amongst the foreigners I met in Thailand.

[altcar bob]

No where else to go

[xylophone]

5 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

I can't relate to "Thainess" at al

I can, however to me it's just another name for stupidity!

 

Riding a motorbike with the crash helmet in the front basket, letting 12-year-old children drive motorbikes, ghost riding day and night, disregard for the law and the laws not being enforced by the useless BIB.

 

The list of traffic stupidity could go on, however a couple of other things to throw into the mix, like waiting until the high season to repair a road which has been in need of repair for some time; the inability to be able to do something simple like using a roundabout; putting up with corruption at just about all levels of government; saving face, which is another way of being able to lie without feeling bad about it; immigration officers having different interpretations about immigration law and procedures; Thais believing the nonsense which they are fed from on high  etc.............don't want to take up the whole page, but I'm sure you get the picture.

 

On the other hand, I don't dislike Thais and find them on the whole, very friendly.

 

I came to Thailand possibly like many other expats because it's a place where I could retire early and live comfortably off my savings without any stress, and in a climate which is for the most part, bearable.

 

Add in friends, nightlife, vibrancy and selection of restaurants from around the world and these things offset the need to have to put up with "Thainess".

[Bill97]

Correct but that is true everywhere.

Not at the same quality-price ratio.


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[sirineou]

I would guess they come here for different reasons they find desirable, and in addition to those they find other conditions   they consider undesirable.

It is called cultural shock

Some complain, but I don't think all that post these undesirable conditions  do so only to complain, but also to understand why these undesirable conditions exist.

What many fail to consider is that many of the desirable conditions that brings them here exist because of the other many undesirable conditions. To fix those undesirable conditions would mean loss of many of the desirable ones.  

 

[pgrahmm]

Ignorance - moving into a culture that's about 180 off from where they came from....

 

They either adjust and enjoy, flame out, go back, or live a miserable life....

 

Some are miserable people to start with..... 

 

Others create their own trap of misery....Settling into a mini room the size of a small hotel room - 4 close walls to stare at.....Limiting their transportation & social options (and lives) .....Finding "friends" at the bar/club scene.....Not really much of an existence.....Doomed from the start....

 

Then - blaming it all on the Thais (who do just fine by themselves) .....

[Odysseus123]

8 minutes ago, sirineou said:

I would guess they come here for different reasons, they find desirable and in addition to those they find other conditions   they consider undesirable.

It is called cultural shock

Some complain, but I don't think all that post these undesirable conditions  do so only to complain, but also to understand why these undesirable conditions exist.

What many fail to consider is that many of the desirable conditions that brings them here exist because of the other many undesirable conditions. To fix those undesirable conditions would mean loss of many of the desirable ones.  

 

Yes..spot on.

 

You really,really do not want an Australian retirement village..droning on about bingo and mobility scooters in "God's waiting room" so you come to Thailand..but there is some psychological need for order midst all the chaos which sets up a fair amount of tension and ambivalence.

 

I really loved Thailand however I never really had the sense that I was in control either..

 

Control won in the end,tho' I was entranced by their pathological lying right up to flying out of Bangkok.

[Jingthing]

Yep, it ain't paradise.

But neither is your home country, and neither are some other third country options, assuming you can qualify for their visas. (I've researched and considered all of them that I could possibly be able to live in, and I'm still here.)

If you place a high value on loving the culture and you don't love the culture, then Thailand would be out.

But there are always other factors. There are always pros and cons. Everyone has their own personal priorities and contingencies.

So Thailand indeed may be the "best of all possible worlds" for many, and a disastrous tragic choice for others. 

 

As far as adjusting and adaptations, don't discount the power of FILTERING OUT unpleasantness and aggressive avoidance of conflict. That could save your life living here. 

 

[Odysseus123]

2 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

Yep, it ain't paradise.

But neither is your home country, and neither are some other third country options, assuming you can qualify for their visas.

If you place a high value on loving the culture and you don't love the culture, then Thailand would be out.

But there are always other factors. There are always pros and cons. Everyone has their own personal priorities and contingencies.

So Thailand indeed may be the "best of all possible worlds" for many, and a disastrous tragic choice for others. 

 

As far as adjusting and adaptations, don't discount the power of FILTERING OUT unpleasantness and aggressive avoidance of conflict. That could save your life living here. 

 

Well said.

 

I don't think that it is an "either/or" thing.

 

'Sirineous' post displays the same well considered quality.Take the rough with the smooth and please remember that,ultimately,you are in control and responsible for your own decisions.

 

I liked the "adventure" but  grew to be somewhat perturbed by the constant invitations to "walk the plank".

 

Now I miss my pirate ship..

[GinBoy2]

I think the OP's original statement is rather broad.

Many people after many years here can get a little jaded after the shine wears off.

There are many things that many like here. I guess women figure high up there, but weather food, and I was going to say inexpensiveness of the place, but the last one I'm sceptical of as time has gone by.

But after a while, after that initial bright shiny light has faded it's easy to get increasingly frustrated by the place. I could almost write a lot of webfact's stories on here, since they are the same stories every year, just with the date changed

From taxi scams to traffic insanity. Another year another crackdown, reform the system, eliminate corruption, guarantee you it'll be the same next year. Then there are the coups. I went through 3, I could almost puke listening to the same BS every single time

You'll get some on here, either the newbies or those so invested they can't escape, that are the classic apologists, even if there was raw sewage in the streets they would retort with 'well why don't you go back from where you came'. That gets old too after after a few years of hearing it over and over.

We went back to the US last year, after I just got too frustrated with it all. Now I have the best of both worlds, 6 months in Thailand and 6 months in the US.

The return to Thailand after 6 months away allows me to have that initial ability to suspend disbelief again that I had the first time here, then by the time the shine has worn off it's back to the US before it get too bad....and let the cycle repeat

[duanebigsby]

46 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

I'm somewhat guilty of what the O.P. is saying. I can't relate to "Thainess" at all. My personality is closer to a New Yorker even though I'm not one. I like to speak plainly. I want to complain when it is deserved without people freaking out, and losing face myself, when it's actually the people that have deserved the criticism that should lose face in my POV. The respect for authority without critical thinking truly and deeply grates. It seems ignorant and radically anti-intellectual. Don't get me started on the quality of Thai mass entertainment. OMG!

 

I'm just here (in Pattaya) because it's a poorer man's Miami. The visas are easy, the food is good and cheap, you can buy prescription meds cheaply without prescriptions, I hate cold and snow, etc.

 

I don't have anything against the people here specifically, but again, the culture is a bad fit for me.

 

Every choice is a tradeoff especially if you ain't wealthy. For me the pros have (so far) outweighed the obviously very bad fit with the culture. 

 

I know there are lots of people like me as well. Judge me, or them, harshly if you like. Who cares? 

Very fair and balanced post.

 

I just don't like when people are talking about the things they don't like and end up in engaging in often bigoted stereotypes. I also think people  who are pointing out negatives about the country shouldn't be attacked by the Thai Apologists.

 

I like it here in spite of the problems.

[sirineou]

5 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Yes..spot on.

 

You really,really do not want an Australian retirement village..droning on about bingo and mobility scooters in "God's waiting room" so you come to Thailand..but there is some psychological need for order midst all the chaos which sets up a fair amount of tension and ambiguity.

 

I really loved Thailand however I never really had the sense that I was in control either..

 

Control won in the end,tho' I was entranced by their pathological lying right up to flying out of Bangkok.

people fail to put things in proper perspective and because of it  diminished their whole experience here and life in general.

Conditions in Thailand (as in every country) are like an algebraic equation, increase the value of one factor and the value of an other changes. 

Things we all wish to escape in out home countries are where they are because of the above. With more safety comes more government control.

Yes we have better this, but there was a price to pay for it elshere.

I guess the bottom line is,

People want to have their cake and to eat it too.

Personally I like Thailand the way it is now , warts and all! and wish it does not change. Sadly , like everything else, I know it will .

  

 

[JonnyF]

People are bound to post more about the negative stuff that we are all aware of. It's like the news on TV, very little of it is positive. 

 

Not many people are going to start a post about the uneventful day to day good stuff that happens here. How delicious their ridiculously cheap lunch was, how cute the flirtatious waitress was, what lovely weather it's been, how much fun they had at the 'bar' last night etc.

 

Doesn't mean they aren't happy (or at least content) here though. I sometimes get fed up with the place, but then I go somewhere else for a week or two and realize it's actually pretty good here if you know what to avoid.

[sirineou]

15 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Well said.

 

I don't think that it is an "either/or" thing.

 

'Sirineous' post displays the same well considered quality.Take the rough with the smooth and please remember that,ultimately,you are in control and responsible for your own decisions.

 

I liked the "adventure" but  grew to be somewhat perturbed by the constant invitations to "walk the plank".

 

Now I miss my pirate ship..

 Its funny you would say that.

I am not holier than thou. I also often loose it, and forget my own mantra. Sometimes a litle time off from Thailand is the antidote. 

I an back in the US now , won't be back  in Thailand until August , and I also miss  the "pirate ship"