2 Jokes

[Jamesyboi]

A guy goes to the U.S. Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Have you been in the service?"

"Yes," he says. "I was in Viet Nam for three years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment" and then the interviewer asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes 100%...a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."

The interviewer tells the guy, "O.K. I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 A.M.

The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. then why do you want me to come in at 10:00 A.M."

"This is a government job" the interviewer says. "For the first two hours we sit around scratching our balls.......no point in you coming in for that."

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant in their country club, when

this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big wet

kiss, and says she'll see him later and walks away.

The guy's wife glares at her husband and hollers,

"Just who in the hel_l was that?"

"Well," replies the husband, sheepishly, "if you must know, she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a

divorce!" she rants!

"I can understand that," replies her husband, but slowly he continued, "but just remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more country club, shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more BMW in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours alone."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous young blonde babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Morrie ?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband. As she sips on her martini, she looks at her husband, smiles and whispers,

"Ours is prettier."

[Pink Mist]

second one was better