I Do A Bit Of Drinking...

[Voo Doo]

I do a bit of drinking, and I'm always looking for a new toast. There have been thousands of them but… don’t remember them next morning.

Doctors say my memory is good, but...short.

Maybe toast "Panties!”: Not the best thing in the world, but right next to it." is what my friends use sometimes, but it's getting a little old.

Any suggestions? (Witty and sublime both appreciated)

Let me start with: “To our wives and sweethearts - may they never meet!”.

[Voo Doo]

How about this one?

"To being single, seeing double, and sleeping triple!"

[dee123]

what kind of people do you think thai visa are?.... a toast to "panties"....well really!....now worn panties maybe....

[Voo Doo]

To our our women, to our horses,

and the men who ride them!

[Wolfie]

my favorite toast and the one i always use...

To absent friends

Sorry its not a funny one.

[SamuiRes]

Maybe not quite in the vein you are looking for, but this was an old military toast dating back I think to the Napoleonic wars -

"To Bloody Battles and Quick Promotion"

in the days when advancement was either bought or obtained in the field.

[PhilHarries]

A toast to one holding opposing views during a discussion:-

To the very heights of your own

Tr : Up yours!

[dee123]

.......to hairy women!......

[lampard10]

Live long and prosper.........................................................but you must be able to do it properly

[kojac_phx]

A bit coarse, but one of my fav's (best when drinking Wild Turkey or moonshine, naam khao would also do I guess):

Here's to the men of the High Sierras,

we live in streams and ditches,

we <deleted> our wives with butcher knives,

we're dirty sons 'o bitches,

we <deleted> 'em high,

we <deleted> 'em low,

we <deleted> 'em where the green grass grows,

and when they're dead 'n long forgotten,

we dig 'em up and <deleted> 'em rotten

[Rdrokit]

Here's agood one to use on yout first date.

"To this moment and all the moments to come"

Not funny but it works.

[baabaabobo]

May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse

[hiromj]

Chaiyo

[PhilHarries]

Here's to all the women who love me terribly, may they all get better at it.

[Little Black Duck]

Here's to the girls that do..

Here's to the girls who dont..

Here's to the girls who say they never will..

But look as though they might..

[Voo Doo]

if you're feeling musical:

DOH . . . . . . the stuff . . . that buys me beer . . .

RAY . . . . . .the guy that sells me beer . . .

ME . . . . . . . the guy . . . who drinks the beer . . .

FAR . . . . . .a long way to the bar . . .

SO . . . . . . I’ll have another beer . . .

LA . . . . . . I’ll have another beer . . .

TEA . . . . . no thanks, I’m drinking beer . . .

That will bring us back to . . . (looks into an empty glass)

DOH!

[sceadugenga]

Here's to the girls that do..

Here's to the girls who dont..

Here's to the girls who say they never will..

But look as though they might..

I like the girls who do,

I like the girls who don't,

I hate a girl who says she will,

and then she says she won't.

But the girl that I like best of all,

and I think you'll say I'm right.

Is the girl who says she never does

but she looks a though she might!

Max Miller, from "Max at the Met."

Edited February 3, 2007 by sceadugenga

[Voo Doo]

Here's to the lady

In the white shoes

She'll take all your money

She'll drink all your booze

[Martin]

'Ere's t'me; an' t'my wife's 'usband; not fergetten mysen.

[Voo Doo]

From the Simpsons:

To alcohol: the cause of, and solution to all the world's problems.