Why do most Thai people never reply back with “and you?” when you ask them “how are you?”

[mauGR1]

2 minutes ago, poanoi said:

like every other day, i have pain, i'm past expire date, and wish i was dead,

that is the honest answer.

wouldnt it be better if y'all just kept your questions to yourself ?

and why even waste time on me ? i'm old, and blind freddy can see it

Well, sorry to hear that, everyone will end badly or worse, cheer up, there must be something positive if you look harder.

..

[afsheen]

10 minutes ago, grollies said:

Due to the standard of his written English, sentance composition and structure and the fact he's lived in Thailand for two years which, maybe erroneously, I discounted the idea he was Thai.

 

He maybe a well-educated Thai ex-pat, Japanese, Chinese, African.....who knows?

 

Ah, well, I've just spotted he's Iranian so he's not farang but rather kaek kow (middle eastern).

 

In which case the op probably has an unrealistic expectation of civility from Thai with which I sympathise but you do have to learn to go with the flow old chap.

 

I hasten to add I have great respect for Iranian people, my Mum sheltered the daughter of the late Shah's secret police during the revolution.

 

 

Thanks man I’m glad to hear you like Iranians . Iranians are good and kind people but sadly the government in Iran is very bad and I hope the corrupted Islamic regime will finish in a couple of years . A few months ago people were protesting in Iran against the government because they worked for several months without getting their salary etc.

[grollies]

1 hour ago, pearciderman said:

 

How did you tell that he was a caucasian westerner from his post?

Now then, even the OP is assuming @poanoi is Thai, which he says he isn't.

 

But thanks for your insightful contribution.

[chrisinth]

I've just found out through this thread that I might be ignorant. Have to admit, I've suspected it for a while.

 

I am from a western country and I hardly ever ask people how they are when I meet them, especially friends. I have no interest in their health because if there is something wrong, and they want me to know, they will tell me.

 

Much rather have it that way, instead of asking are they fine and having to lie when they reply "and you?". I don't normally burden friends with problems.

[afsheen]

18 minutes ago, norrska said:

You are the one who is arrogant.  Why do you go to a foreign land and expect everyone to pander to your nonsense.  If you do not like it, go home!

Pander to my nonsense? Is a simple polite and normal “and you?” too much to expect when you greet someone with a friendly “how are you?” ?

 

 

 

 

[mauGR1]

2 minutes ago, chrisinth said:

I've just found out through this thread that I might be ignorant. Have to admit, I've suspected it for a while.

 

I am from a western country and I hardly ever ask people how they are when I meet them, especially friends. I have no interest in their health because if there is something wrong, and they want me to know, they will tell me.

 

Much rather have it that way, instead of asking are they fine and having to lie when they reply "and you?". I don't normally burden friends with problems.

It's a form of greeting, there is nothing wrong in answering politely to polite greetings.

[grollies]

3 minutes ago, afsheen said:

Thanks man I’m glad to hear you like Iranians . Iranians are good and kind people but sadly the government in Iran is very bad and I hope the corrupted Islamic regime will finish in a couple of years . A few months ago people were protesting in Iran against the government because they worked for several months without getting their salary etc.

It took me two years (as a non-degree educated engineer) to find a calculation for the coefficient of thermal expansion of water until I read a paper online by an Iranian PHD grad explaining calcs for bulk modulus for sea and fresh water which enabled me to complete my spreadsheet for water pressure/temperature corrections. He corresponded with me and gave advice for free so every set of test results my company produced for pressure testing I acknowledged him. Great guy.

[grollies]

2 minutes ago, afsheen said:

Pander to my nonsense? Is a simple polite and normal “and you?” too much to expect when you greet someone with a friendly “how are you?” ?

 

 

 

 

Relax, he's trolling you, ignore him.

[Slip]

8 minutes ago, afsheen said:

Pander to my nonsense? Is a simple polite and normal “and you?” too much to expect when you greet someone with a friendly “how are you?” ?

 

 

 

 

Ashfeen you are trying to apply your own cultural norms, (or perhaps those of another country) to your new home.  Thai people will not always reply 'and you?', although there is a linguistic equivalent- 'khun le?' (I think?) as it isn't standard discourse in their culture.  When Thai people say 'pai nai' to you, do you describe where you are going?

Edited May 16, 2018 by Slip
bracket absenteeism

[norrska]

7 minutes ago, afsheen said:

Pander to my nonsense? Is a simple polite and normal “and you?” too much to expect when you greet someone with a friendly “how are you?” ?

 

 

 

 

Absolutely.  Why are you are intruding on their personal space?

[norrska]

5 minutes ago, grollies said:

Relax, he's trolling you, ignore him.

You are the troll.  My lady gets harrassed by creepy farang like you all the time, and they do not like it!

[grollies]

2 minutes ago, norrska said:

Absolutely.  Why are you are intruding on their personal space?

Here comes another one.

[grollies]

1 minute ago, norrska said:

You are the troll.  My lady gets harrassed by creepy farang like you all the time, and they do not like it!

The very definition of a troll post, well done

[grollies]

I guarantee this topic will go 'hot'    yeeee haaaa.   here we go

[grollies]

Just been back to the General page and guess what?

 

We're hot....

[swissie]

2 hours ago, KittenKong said:

It's not rudeness. They simply don't care how you are.

Discustingly close to home.....

[swissie]

The "How are you", "Have a good day", even "Good morning" are just "set phrases", considered polite.
In the real world (unless it's a family member or a close friend), nobody is interested in how good or bad a perfect stranger is or feels.

I have long advocated to replace the entrenched "set phrases" by something more neutral and less invasive upon meeting someone, like:

- Turulee vs Turulaa.
- Ob-la-dee vs Ob-la-daa.
- Bunga Bunga vs Bongo Bongo.
- Ficky Ficky vs <deleted> <deleted> (in Pattaya).

Those new Greeting-Phrases, while still as meaningless as the old "set phrases", would be far less inquisitive and intrusive as the old "set phrases".
Be prepared, that in the near future, a mondaine "How are you" will be considered as impolite.

Sighning off, with a hearty OB-LA-DEE.

[Slip]

15 minutes ago, swissie said:

Discustingly close to home.....

It isn't only me who thinks there is a thing here thanks be.  If people cared they would frame the question more closely and more specifically.  A generic 'how are you' is as meaningless as 'gin kao yang' or 'whatsup'?  (For those who are bothered the appropriate answers would be, 'yang'/ laew' and 'sup' in return, but it is nothing to get upset about).

[afsheen]

2 hours ago, grollies said:

Relax, he's trolling you, ignore him.

Thank you , will do! :)

[poanoi]

2 hours ago, swissie said:

The "How are you", "Have a good day", even "Good morning" are just "set phrases", considered polite.
In the real world (unless it's a family member or a close friend), nobody is interested in how good or bad a perfect stranger is or feels.

I have long advocated to replace the entrenched "set phrases" by something more neutral and less invasive upon meeting someone, like:

- Turulee vs Turulaa.
- Ob-la-dee vs Ob-la-daa.
- Bunga Bunga vs Bongo Bongo.
- Ficky Ficky vs <deleted> <deleted> (in Pattaya).

Those new Greeting-Phrases, while still as meaningless as the old "set phrases", would be far less inquisitive and intrusive as the old "set phrases".
Be prepared, that in the near future, a mondaine "How are you" will be considered as impolite.

Sighning off, with a hearty OB-LA-DEE.

here, here, i vote for you !

zag zag

[poanoi]

2 hours ago, Slip said:

It isn't only me who thinks there is a thing here thanks be.  If people cared they would frame the question more closely and more specifically.  A generic 'how are you' is as meaningless as 'gin kao yang' or 'whatsup'?  (For those who are bothered the appropriate answers would be, 'yang'/ laew' and 'sup' in return, but it is nothing to get upset about).

i never did understand the 'whatsup' thing,

how to respond.

i think perhaps i should just throw back a

"how is it hanging" right back in their face,

and never bother answering the offensive question

[wlx]

Nae sae bad.
<foo's yer sel?

Edited May 16, 2018 by wlx
Dialect understanding

[poanoi]

13 minutes ago, wlx said:

Nae sae bad.
<foo's yer sel?

kfe soa hme qui ?

[samsensam]

 

i'm on a (fairly successful so far) mission to stop all my friend's children from using this response and and say 'i'm very well thank you, and how are you?' instead, and thus ensure they sound more intelligent and interesting and less robotic than 90% of thai english speakers

[cyberfarang]

The asking how are you? In any language or culture is the biggest load of BS in human history.

 

We are expected to reply; I`m fine thank you. But what is everything is not fine? How should one respond? Well, my wife left me for another guy and took the kids with her, my mother died yesterday, the dog got run over by a truck, I lost my job, the bailiffs are coming to repossess my house and car, I`ve got no money and can`t afford to eat this week, doctor told me I have a terminal illness and may only have 6 months to live, but other than that, I can`t complain.

 

Do you think anyone would be interested? Would that be the answer the OP would want to hear?

[HampiK]

9 hours ago, KittenKong said:

It's not rudeness. They simply don't care how you are.

it's not. Actually it's a stupid question which you know the answer you want to hear before, so why even ask?

This is only a phrase for some countries but they not expect you would say I feel not good today.

 

2 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

The asking how are you? In any language or culture is the biggest load of BS in human history.

 

We are expected to reply; I`m fine thank you. But what is everything is not fine? How should one respond? Well, my wife left me for another guy and took the kids with her, my mother died yesterday, the dog got run over by a truck, I lost my job, the bailiffs are coming to repossess my house and car, I`ve got no money and can`t afford to eat this week, doctor told me I have a terminal illness and may only have 6 months to live, but other than that, I can`t complain.

 

Do you think anyone would be interested? Would that be the answer the OP would want to hear?

thanks.. I think that is a good answer. I have also some foreigner friends who thinks what this sentence for. because almost nobody is really interested in the answer. It's like Hello

[Justfine]

10 hours ago, pearciderman said:

 

How did you tell that he was a caucasian westerner from his post?

Because he asked the question. I completely disagree with him though. They ask a lot. Depends if you know them or not. Strangers don't care.

[Justfine]

The constant "how are you" questions are annoying.

 

 

[Justfine]

2 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

The asking how are you? In any language or culture is the biggest load of BS in human history.

 

We are expected to reply; I`m fine thank you. But what is everything is not fine? How should one respond? Well, my wife left me for another guy and took the kids with her, my mother died yesterday, the dog got run over by a truck, I lost my job, the bailiffs are coming to repossess my house and car, I`ve got no money and can`t afford to eat this week, doctor told me I have a terminal illness and may only have 6 months to live, but other than that, I can`t complain.

 

Do you think anyone would be interested? Would that be the answer the OP would want to hear?

Exactly. Sometimes you are fine but just dealt with a db 10 mins ago and not in the best mood and when you tell them about it they lose interest. So why did they ask in the first place? Because the silly question has been common language. Better to just say hello then talk normally.

[Justfine]

How was your holiday?

 

Ask that to the wrong person and they want to give you a 1 hour explanation of every little thing. I dont ask anymore. If you request a 30 second summary they get pissed off.