Online dating Bangkok

[britishjohn]

2 years ago was my first trip to Thailand and like many people I decided to have a crack at online dating. The response was great and by day 3 I'd hooked up with an attractive 30 yr old Phd student and spent a amazing month with her. Compared to the UK , Thailand was dating heaven. Over time things turned sour with her as it turned out mendacity was one of her prime skills but that's another story. (I should add I'm not exactly young anymore, kind of middle ageish but workout every day and in good shape)
Anyway fast forward to the present and I'm now living in Bangkok. I arrived 2 months ago, found a good quality condo in decent part of town and decided to repeat my past success and find myself a companion, someone a little older this time.
Now whether it was just beginners luck or things are evolving rapidly...it ain't quite so easy. Plenty of dates, but so far it's come to nought.. A multitude of issues I'm sure some might be familiar with.
I read an excellent Stickman submission about online dating, written by Andrew in 2015. He claimed 15 years ago it was like falling off a log but has deteriorated significantly since.
So just wondered if anyone has experience of this. Is it becoming harder ? Are women becoming more picky ? What are the best alternatives to online ?, apart from hookers !

[BobBKK]

If you can't score with online dating then there's something seriously wrong. Assuming you are willing to 'spend' a bit.

[britishjohn]

Yes prepared to spend a bit...we certainly don't eat on the streets if that's what you mean.

I guess it also depends on your standards. If I didn't have any, then sure I could have a different one each night. I generally draw the line at around 5 to 6/10

[Jonah Tenner]

[balo]

Just look for a bargirl from Isaan instead, you'll get married in no time. And the whole family will welcome you and expect you to pay for everything,  

 

[OneMoreFarang]

Can someone please explain the attraction of online dating.

 

I guess pretty girls will be flooded with messages from guys who want to see them. If a guy is really so interesting that a girl picks him out of 100 others then the same guy should have no problems at all to pick up girls somewhere outside (shopping center, whatever)

 

And if a girl plays that game and sees every day another guy why does she do that? (I have some ideas)

 

And how many good girls would look for a foreigner on a dating site which is full of hookers?

 

I don't think it's impossible to find someone. But somehow I guess walking around with open eyes should be a better alternative. One major reason is that people know right away if there is some kind of chemistry or not. Online pictures and descriptions say very little about a person.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

It's a way of winnowing down the pool of potential candidates.

 

For a guy, if they're looking for P4P, it's easy to find online.

 

But equally so, if you're NOT looking for P4P, you can pretty quickly get a feel for the women who are or are not in that realm. You also can pretty well evaluate their non-Thai language skills. And various other personal characteristics that might be important to different people.

 

Also, for the person looking, it probably opens the doors to a much broader pool of potential matches than you're likely to meet just hanging out on your own. Guys who work here perhaps have the advantage of being able to meet women in the work-related setting. But if you're retired or otherwise not working here, it helps to extend your network.

 

BTW, I met my wife that way, 6 years ago now and going strong.

 

Edited May 26, 2018 by TallGuyJohninBKK

[britishjohn]

Well Thai women are masters of photography and the art of the selfie. What purports to be a hottie online, 99% of the time turns out to be a very different kettle of fish. Combine that with a very fickle nature and female inboxes full to the brim with messages from willing suitors and it starts to feel very much like a wild goose chase !

[samsensam]

 

5-8 years ago the online dating scene was awesome, since then the quality of females dating online and their attitude is awful, to be honest it's more hassle than it's worth; too many expect money (rare in the past), too many are simply 'checking their rating', too many seem bored with their lives and just want the ego boost of messages from guys, too much lying and game playing (the girls who state they hate lies and games on their profile are usually those most likely to be lying and playing games..)

 

[Peterw42]

I have had great success on some of the dating sites, and by success I mean dating, finding a GF or partner, "not" getting laid each date. If you want casual sex, go and get a bar-girl.

Normal Thai girls dont usually do casual sex or hook-ups.

If you are genuinely looking for dating/GF and filter out the obvious hookers etc, it can be a great way of meeting normal Thai girls.

I dont think there are that many alternatives for meeting normal Thai girls, they are ideally at work all day, they probably dont go to bars or clubs much, that only leaves the produce aisle at BigC.

Online dating can still work but it has been ruined by guys wanting naked photos and casual sex, and hookers looking for customers.

 

Edited May 28, 2018 by Peterw42

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

2 hours ago, Peterw42 said:

 they probably dont go to bars or clubs much, that only leaves the produce aisle at BigC.

 

I tried the produce aisle at Big C once, but got my face slapped when I started squeezing some melons.  ?

Edited May 28, 2018 by TallGuyJohninBKK

[Jeremia Juxtaposed]

On 5/24/2018 at 12:24 PM, britishjohn said:

I read an excellent Stickman submission about online dating, written by Andrew in 2015. He claimed 15 years ago it was like falling off a log but has deteriorated significantly since.

2015 minus 15 = Financial crash era..... I fell off so many logs my chopper refused to go near a forest...

 

If your plan is to wait until the next crash let's hope it's not gonna be long .... I could do with 85 to the pound again...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[balo]

Just tell them you're poor and you'll get more genuine responses.

[britishjohn]

It's a good point re financial crashes, I can well see that would bring them out of the woodwork.

[Puwa]

56 minutes ago, britishjohn said:

It's a good point re financial crashes, I can well see that would bring them out of the woodwork.

Mystery solved-- women don't take to you because you think of them as cockroaches.

[BobBKK]

On 5/26/2018 at 6:46 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

Can someone please explain the attraction of online dating.

 

I guess pretty girls will be flooded with messages from guys who want to see them. If a guy is really so interesting that a girl picks him out of 100 others then the same guy should have no problems at all to pick up girls somewhere outside (shopping center, whatever)

 

And if a girl plays that game and sees every day another guy why does she do that? (I have some ideas)

 

And how many good girls would look for a foreigner on a dating site which is full of hookers?

 

I don't think it's impossible to find someone. But somehow I guess walking around with open eyes should be a better alternative. One major reason is that people know right away if there is some kind of chemistry or not. Online pictures and descriptions say very little about a person.

Sure can. I have dated scores, as have my friends. Easy to pick, bit like shopping. If a girl is online dating one can assume she's ready for some fun, given the right circumstances, and she's bored, lonely or really is looking for a serious sugar daddy  whoops sorry I mean loving partner.

 

AS long as one makes it clear that you are looking for 'dating' not 'serious' it's all fair game. I have found very few real 'hookers' but many 'flexible' students and side-liners. Beats going to the bar!  and it works I have used them for 10 years, on and off, and probably met a couple hundred and, boy, have I had fun.

[RichardColeman]

I met my Thai school teacher wife on a Thai dating site. Together 3 years now.

 

Funny thing is seeing some of these girls advertised as premium and you need upgrade to talk to some - and yet they appear to be bar girls you can go and meet and talk for free - well the price of a beer ! 

[balo]

19 hours ago, BobBKK said:

AS long as one makes it clear that you are looking for 'dating' not 'serious' it's all fair game. I have found very few real 'hookers' but many 'flexible' students and side-liners. Beats going to the bar!

And what is the age difference between you and the "students" ?  I guess its all about money in the end. 

 

[AlexRRR]

Show your location outside of Thailand preferably your home country, dont mention you live there or coming soon.

 

Expats sometimes have a somewhat poor reputation, take your time and get to know them online first, get there Line id and go from there, if there unwilling to give you that time dont bother with no shortage of women willing to get to know you, and the most important is have a criteria of the type of person you want and never waver from it.

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, AlexRRR said:

Show your location outside of Thailand preferably your home country, dont mention you live there or coming soon.

 

Expats sometimes have a somewhat poor reputation, take your time and get to know them online first, get there Line id and go from there, if there unwilling to give you that time dont bother with no shortage of women willing to get to know you, and the most important is have a criteria of the type of person you want and never waver from it.

So what would you suggest you should tell them where you live in the moment? Because if you lie to such a simple question then don't be surprised if the women don't trust you.

 

And if they don't mind that you lie then don't be surprised if they do the same.

[AlexRRR]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

So what would you suggest you should tell them where you live in the moment? Because if you lie to such a simple question then don't be surprised if the women don't trust you.

 

And if they don't mind that you lie then don't be surprised if they do the same.

 

Its not a lie that is serious its a white lie, it buys you time to get to know someone, might surprise you the "good" Thai girls can be somewhat reluctant to meet what they often think is a bar hopping sexpat, from experience there are ways to say something to infer with out actual saying or answering the question, politicians do it all the time.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

7 hours ago, AlexRRR said:

Show your location outside of Thailand preferably your home country, dont mention you live there or coming soon.

 

Expats sometimes have a somewhat poor reputation, take your time and get to know them online first, get there Line id and go from there, if there unwilling to give you that time dont bother with no shortage of women willing to get to know you, and the most important is have a criteria of the type of person you want and never waver from it.

 

Actually, I had the opposite experience and impression from my past time here via online dating.

 

Basically, most of the non hooker women I encountered (I wasn't looking for hookers) were more favorable if they knew you lived here full time and/or worked here, because that meant you had a more permanent presence, and in their view, probably more likely prospect for long-term relationship.

 

Whereas on the flip side, if you presented yourself as tourist or someone just passing thru, their general impression would be that you were just looking for quickie one nighters and soon would be gone, or onto the next conquest.

 

In my experience, actually living here in real life always seemed to be an advantage in terms of how I was perceived by the ladies.

 

[AlexRRR]

7 minutes ago, TallGuyJohninBKK said:

 

Actually, I had the opposite experience and impression from my past time here via online dating.

 

Basically, most of the non hooker women I encountered (I wasn't looking for hookers) were more favorable if they knew you lived here full time and/or worked here, because that meant you had a more permanent presence, and in their view, probably more likely prospect for long-term relationship.

 

Whereas on the flip side, if you presented yourself as tourist or someone just passing thru, their general impression would be that you were just looking for quickie one nighters and soon would be gone, or onto the next conquest.

 

In my experience, actually living here in real life always seemed to be an advantage in terms of how I was perceived by the ladies.

 

 

My experience is the opposite, ive stopped telling them i come and go for that very reason, ive also experienced a reluctance to meet when was living there, my target age group is 35 to 45 with min education standard of a bachelors degree they might be a little more worldly than the younger girls.

 

I would like to say that im not whoreing around i have met my past 4 TGFs on dating site's, in fact thats been the only place ive met them, sure ive played around with who i havent been keen on met a few who were happy to hang around for a little while as well.

 

[samsensam]

On 5/29/2018 at 1:54 AM, BobBKK said:

Sure can. I have dated scores, as have my friends. Easy to pick, bit like shopping. If a girl is online dating one can assume she's ready for some fun, given the right circumstances, and she's bored, lonely or really is looking for a serious sugar daddy  whoops sorry I mean loving partner.

 

AS long as one makes it clear that you are looking for 'dating' not 'serious' it's all fair game. I have found very few real 'hookers' but many 'flexible' students and side-liners. Beats going to the bar!  and it works I have used them for 10 years, on and off, and probably met a couple hundred and, boy, have I had fun.

 

absolutely agree, i've had a lot of fun and a few decent relationships from online dating over the years; loads of students, lawyer, physical therapist, BMW manager, own business owners, accountants, office workers, etc. etc...

 

the scene has changed for the worse though; there are certainly more girls expecting money - previously it was very rare, the girls are less polite - probably due to not having to make any effort with so many guys chasing them, and certainly the attractiveness of girls online has gone down.

 

beats hanging round bars and prostitutes any day.

[Nathan N]

Online dating has changed in the last 5 years. I am an American I would date all the time, eventually find a GF. But now it seems American woman are full of attitude, and have like 100 men giving them that attention...I gave up for the most part. MGTOW..

 

I started coming to Thailand a few years ago. Did the Pattaya thing twice. Go-Go;s, discos, etc. Had a LT and found that was way better than ST's 

 

So I decided to actually seek out a "real" girl to see what happens. Went on to Thaifriendly, which is full of working girls. Weeded out a lot...and the pictures are mostly not that accurate. Found many looking for money, etc. 

 

Eventually I met a Thai woman who is amazing. She is a salesperson for a large industrial company in Bangkok. She is 15 years younger than me. Has the Thai culture thing going with the family, and supporting her family. I was there for a month living together as a trial...a test to see how she really lives. I had my doubts, but I am convinced she is a "real" girl. 

 

Heading back to Bangkok for another month...heading to Krabi to do some diving. We are getting scuba certified this year. 

 

There are real woman online, hard to find, but they are there. 

[OneMoreFarang]

11 hours ago, Nathan N said:

So I decided to actually seek out a "real" girl to see what happens. Went on to Thaifriendly, which is full of working girls. Weeded out a lot...and the pictures are mostly not that accurate. Found many looking for money, etc. 

 

Eventually I met a Thai woman who is amazing...

Why bother with online dating if you know already that most pictures and other information is inaccurate? There are lots of beautiful women out there in real life. You see them in real and not some made up old picture ...

[kevvy]

On 6/18/2018 at 12:44 PM, AlexRRR said:

 

Its not a lie that is serious its a white lie, it buys you time to get to know someone, might surprise you the "good" Thai girls can be somewhat reluctant to meet what they often think is a bar hopping sexpat, from experience there are ways to say something to infer with out actual saying or answering the question, politicians do it all the time.

white lie , black lie , pink lie . It is called a lie with no colours.