Country shocked as rejected men resort to murder

[Xaos]

Seen it too many times here.

[Jteam]

The recent murders screened live via Facebook point to another emerging issue - the way that many the Thai use Facebook - to maintain and promote their 'face'.

 

Despite the name, this is not what it means in the western sense and timeline posts are not meant to address private issues, but this is how many use it.

 

the idea of a group chat is taking hold, but public comments are a common call-out and challenge to face

in the cyber village in which these conversations are posted to the globe yet meant for their own ear / eyes.

 

many do not understand how it can't be private if it is written in Thai - they don't even realize that Facebook automatically translates their comments.

 

it is not meant to be used like this but try telling a Thai how a western concept should work

 

if putting a rocket launcher on a peasant is a dangerous idea, the same is true for Facebook in a culture that values face and image over substance 

 

given the maturity level maxes at age 12 and ditto for responsibility, throw in the copycat appeal and is not surprising that such events are becoming part of thainess and the way to restore face on Facebook

 

som nom na

[cat handler]

You know the old saying, “if you love something set it free, if it doesn’t come back hunt it down and kill it”.

 

[bkk7]

8 hours ago, flyingtlger said:

Too much video gaming......

you forgot the /s

 

someone might actually believe you were serious.

[soistalker]

40 minutes ago, todlad said:

Oh come on! You're even wasting your own time let alone mine.

You lost the argument; I'm glad you agree. 

[soistalker]

37 minutes ago, moe666 said:

And you know this how, even in this country a few farangs have killed their wives and girl friends

For every foreigner who kills his Thai spouse, there are tens of thousands of Thai women killing their foreign husbands. This, of course, includes foreign husbands who "fall" from their balconies. 

[Jimbo53]

Natchariya’s mother Jirapinya Inthasen, trying her utmost to hold back her tears, said she forgave all those involved and only wished that her daughter's spirit be at peace.

 

 

 

Herein lies part of the problem,offenders being forgiven for their heinous acts by the vìctims parent/s,instead of being vilified,does not help intrying tp prevent further incidents of this nature

[JAZZDOG]

Just like O.J. Simpson it's all about power and control. Losing control and power over the female means they must take power of the last resort. In Thailand it seems many problems result from the fact people just react on impulse without any thought process.

[lvr181]

9 hours ago, webfact said:

have left Thai society perplexed and worried about youths’ response nowadays in the wake of rejection.

Why would Thai society be "perplexed" by this news? Gun toting (along with other 'weapons') is commonplace!

 

Where is the teaching and guidance by families about responsibilities (and rights), morality and common decency for youth to learn about?

 

Where is the leadership of Government in setting (and educating) decent standards of behaviour?

 

[Eligius]

3 hours ago, CanterbrigianBangkoker said:

This (to my mind) is the primary cause, coupled with the fact that Thai men are so often entitled, morally devoid mumma's boy brats who have reached physical adulthood but certainly never matured past the age of about 12, cognitively speaking. Temper tantrums and laziness - what else does one expect when they get away with doing what they want all their lives and don't have to deal with the consequences, juxtapose this with the most odious and certainly most dangerous aspect of the Thai national character - inability to deal with loss of face (the definition of childishness?) and the results should be in no way surprising. I'd wager that the lack of proper parenting from the PARENTS rather than tired, old grandparents or some more distant family member, has a lot to answer for in this whole mess. Specifically the lack of enough emotionally and physically present admirable father figures for Thai children across the country is a HUGE issue too.

 

Far too often the parents of a child or children are too busy working (no fault of their own - they're often just being responsible parents) and the kids are left to develop without the necessary discipline or energy that a younger parent who would naturally be closest with them, can provide, unlike granny or grandpa for example.

 

This is a real shame for Thailand, I feel for these younger kids, it isn't their error after all. That being said PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, especially when one reaches adulthood, can never be overlooked or downplayed in such heinous situations as the ones referenced above. This is a problem that won't go away until the culture and attitudes of Thailand evolve and most importantly mature, that's my feeling.

 

Right! Infantilism is the hallmark of Thai culture. It starts at the top - where certain persons are deemed to be the progenitor of the nation and termed accordingly (you know what I mean - cannot say more) to the whole idea of the 'puu-yais', the big, important people, whose sobriquet literally translates as 'Grown Ups'. In other words, all the rest of the Thai population (the 99%) are viewed as 'children' -  the 'little people'. 

 

Just go into any large supermarket here and hear the utterly infantile ads that are broadcast. Watch the idiotic programmes on Thai television, and witness the commercials aimed at the intellectual level of a babe-in-arms ... on and on it goes.

 

This whole culture is one where a tiny 1% treat the 99% as little children, who must not, at all costs, be ALLOWED to be properly educated, informed and enlightened. 

 

And when people are kept down and dumb, and without wise discipline and self-discipline - in the end tragedies will and do occur.

 

Edited June 6, 2018 by Eligius

[Jonmarleesco]

Perplexed? Why? Isn't picking up a gun - or a machete, sword, et al - most immature Thais' response to something they can't control? 

[CanterbrigianBangkoker]

6 minutes ago, Eligius said:

Right! Infantilism is the hallmark of Thai culture. It starts at the top - where certain persons are deemed to be the progenitor of the nation and termed accordingly (you know what I mean - cannot say more) to the whole idea of the 'puu-yais', the big, important people, whose sobriquet literally translates as 'Grown Ups'. In other words, all the rest of the Thai population (the 99%) are viewed as 'children' -  the 'little people'. 

 

Just go into any large supermarket here and hear the utterly infantile ads that are broadcast. Watch the idiotic programmes on Thai television, and witness the commercials aimed at the intellectual level of a babe-in-arms ... on and on it goes.

 

This whole culture is one where a tiny 1% treat the 99% as little children, who must not, at all costs, be ALLOWED to be properly educated, informed and enlightened. 

 

And when people are kept down and dumb, and without wise discipline and self-discipline - in the end tragedies will and do occur.

 

I agree mate, well put. This form of control is ubiquitous across the world of course, but it doesn't manifest quite as overtly as it does in Thailand - i.e.: the treatment of the populous as children who must be guided. 'There is a reason education sucks and there is a reason why it will never get any better'. The mindset here is more child like for a number of reasons and the ones you have laid out above are indeed a large part of it. Sad eh!?

Edited June 6, 2018 by CanterbrigianBangkoker

[spidermike007]

2 hours ago, SpeakeasyThai said:

Real men deal with adversity. When faced with a relationship that has gone south, they deal with it. You try to work it out. If it cannot be worked out, you move on. You wish her well, and send her on her way. 

 

Small men, and men without a sense of identity, self esteem, or love of self behave like these morons. They behave like simpletons, and get all desperate when a woman wants to leave them, and things do not work out.

 

Killing a woman because things have not worked out? 13 year olds, who occupy a mans body do that kind of stuff. That is the domain of dumb, idiotic, moronic, undeveloped, pathological, insane, tiny minded little boys, who have had parents who have utterly failed them, on every level.

 

Life is short. There are alot of available women out there. Man up. Just ask yourself, how would Bond behave in these circumstances? 

 

Bond?!!

Oh the irony - i stopped watching 007 around 12 years old!

You base your life on a fiction character then, good luck.

It was simply an attempt at humor. But, if you think about it, it kind of gives you a little perspective. Would Bond kill a woman over lost love, or a broken heart? Would he even let his heart be broken? Would he get involved with a poor choice of a woman, to begin with? You see, this kind of imaginative exercise can lead to great fun!

[Somchai Logic]

Country shocked as rejected men resort to murder

LOS - Land of fake Shocked.

Shocked at what exactly?:

1. Pathetic parenting/discipline, or lack of any parenting/discipline 
2. Man-Child Loss of Face overreaction
3. Tarnished image of Thailand (way too late for that one)
4. "Up to Me" Mantra
5. Zero responsibility, consideration, accountability (aka Thainess)
6. Ahhhhhh, I could go on and on... I just remembered I gave up Any and All hope for this place years ago 

[bizboi]

Its not Thai bashing to make the observation that other nationalities CAN control themselves and Thais cant - when they face up to that and accept that its an important behaviour trait to be able to deal with failure and learn from it not a face saving exercise, then maybe they can change sad behaviour like that demonstrated in this thread!!

[caulfield2]

4 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

It can be the opposite as well.

 

Many of the guys that I`ve had known who were obsessed with their wives or girlfriends, cling onto them at all costs even when their partners treat these guys like crap, have been only children. I think it`s called, the mother complex, spoilt and always supported meaning; tied to the apron strings of their mothers. If they do find female partners later on, in their eyes these women become kind of substitute mothers. I know of some guys, westerners, that can`t function without their wives.

 

My thoughts on this, is that even if married, no one has the right to claim someone else as their personal possession, and I think this is the problem with marriage, sign on a certificate that is a contract that imposes a couple are tied to each other for the remainder of their lives (for better or for worse) and if one partner falls out of love, tough, they are stuck with it. It is also very difficult in boyfriend/girlfriend relationships for one partner to understand that the other partner may not have as strong emotional feelings in the relationship and in some cases just can`t accept that. This means that when relationships break down there are always going to be the winners and the losers.

 

A very difficult and complex situation when dealing with high emotional traumas.

 

 

Not necessarily.

 

If you're an only child, you learn how to become independent, make your own decisions, be your own companion, how to entertain yourself...you don't NEED to have a significant other, even if you THINK that you might WANT it.

 

For those without much dating experience, socially awkward/inept...who latch on for dear life to the first girl that gives them the time of day, sure, I can see that.

 

For many of us, we fall in love with the IDEA of someone...but the reality of "being married to a ___________ model" doesn't live up to the advance billing and we grow tired and realize if we can't make someone happy (or happy enough), then it's better for both sides to let someone else try (or maybe no one can make them happy...or they're not happy with themselves and are looking for happiness from a relationship?)

 

I went through that period of jealousy for about one year when I married my first wife, then a second year of mismatched schedules and "roommates passing in the night"...just let it go and decided there are lots of other fish in the sea and moved to a new job in Colombia.   Sometimes it takes rebuilding your self-esteem and making yourself a happier, more attractive, more confident person to be with.  It's not about being James Bond or reading The Game and memorizing how to "neg" hot chicks in bars or "controlling every relationship/"in it to win it," etc.   It's just about taking an honest appraisal of yourself, your physical appearance/fitness, your job/salary...and being able to find a "reasonable compromise" where you're not a 5 shooting for a 9 or 10...but where you're a 6.5 or 7 or 7.5 aiming for an 8 or 8.5, haha.

 

At any rate, that jealousy thing does no good...threatening someone if they don't come home or make friends at work who they enjoy going out with...some guys won't let their wives or g/f work or have any interaction with other members of their own culture (doesn't matter what country)....that's going to end up in the same result as the master who keeps the bird in a cage and expects it to loyally fly back when the cage door is finally opened.  This is exacerbated when there are significant age differences....generation gap of 15+ years, those Harold and Natt "compensated/sponsored" relationships when the guy gets confused as being a grandfather out with his grand-daughter.  Some guys MIGHT look at you with jealousy, but there are just as many who are disgusted or turned off.  You can use your intuition to know if you really, truly belong or "fit" with someone or not....regardless of age differences.  Trust your gut, but always caveat emptor.

Edited June 6, 2018 by caulfield2

[phetpeter]

Of course lets not forget that they sit glued to Thai soaps which show revenge seeking in many different violent ways including assault, rape, guns. It would help if theses soaps were reined in  and told stories about how to retain sense and rebuild lives and moving on without these extreme's, plus soaps showing kindness, encouragement and helping others.

[hotchilli]

11 hours ago, ukrules said:

I'm not shocked or surprised. It's too late to do anything about it as well.

 

Maybe they will have better luck with future generations.

Breeding from the same gene pool with the same education & families too busy to notice what's really going on I wouldn't hold out much hope of change this century!!!!

[anon537687643]

Just an outside perspective from a guy old enough to be either a dad, uncle, or granddad to these kids:
I see how boys are brought up in Thai society.  They are coddled, pampered, nor required to take on responsibility, allowed to run the households of adults by acting out because the parents refuse to punish them for inappropriate behavior, and they learn at an early age that acting out gets them what they want from Thai adult family members, so appropriate boundaries are never developed unless the kid pulls himself up by his bootstraps in his late teens or early adulthood - well after the damage is done.
Thais are clearly at fault for not socializing their children, but its a vicious cycle: unsocialized children growing up and having children who become unsocialized children due to poor parenting......ad-infinitum.  Kids can do whatever they want, are held blameless, and are kept occupied by handing them a Smartphone.  What could possibly go wrong.  It's both a cultural and a societal issue.  The end result: immaturity and a total lack of understanding on how to resolve conflict and rejection.  Pick up a gun and make a statement.  If it wasn't a gun it would be a knife.
A lack of maturity; a lack of sophistication; a lack of foresight; unrealistic view of how reality works and how to adapt to change. Pretty much the hallmarks of young Thai adults - and a lot of older ones too.

Perfect summation


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[thenoilif]

12 hours ago, Thaiwrath said:

That, coupled with 'loss of face', has it more or less nailed on.

This is such a farang thing to say. 

The whole face thing gets so blown out of proportion by ignorant foreigners. 

If face was such an issue, you would have seen incidents like this stemming back generations and a downward trend due to older generations being more inclined to believe in such things. 

Its more likely due to what the expert said, a lack of maturity in today's youth, drugs/alcohol, and poor and abusive upbringing. More or less the same things that cause young people the world over to commit violent crimes. 

[kannot]

7 hours ago, seminomadic said:

 

How do we know that?

Say that to my face and Ill blow ya brains out?

[Mac98]

12 hours ago, jaltsc said:

 "...person’s immature character or violence-prone upbringing..."

 

No, not individual cases of character or upbringing. It's the national culture whereby males are conditioned from birth to believe and act as though they are privileged and entitled. Then, when they become of adult age and are faced with the reality of rejection, their only response is to act like the spoiled brats they have been raised to be. When tantrums, which worked as a child, to get what they want, doesn't obtain the desired outcomes now, they up the ante with violence. Basically, these men are spoiled children in adult bodies.  

I'm America they are spoiled children in adult bodies who were given an AK-47 for Christmas.

[wvavin]

The real killer is the government that allows them to carry firearms freely.

[9653]

12 hours ago, Samui Bodoh said:

While one should avoid overly simplistic answers to a serious problem, I can't help but say that Thai men often are reared with an attitude that they can do no wrong and that 'Face' matters more than anything else. Further, Thai society doesn't seem to place a great deal of emphasis on 'rights and wrongs'; can anyone outline the Thai equivalent of a personal moral code or the Thai equivalent of personal responsibility? When young Thai men seek a role model, perhaps they see Prayut (and other leaders) who simply took/did what they wanted by bypassing all norms and proper behaviour? And, perhaps more importantly, get away with it?

 

How does Thai society treat women? Are they valued as equals with all the same rights and privileges? Or, are they seen as a prize and something to own?

 

In light of the above, are we surprised that there are incidents like this?

 

You can't draw firm conclusions from one or two incidents, but I suspect that we will see even more of this kind of behaviour in the future.

 

It is terribly sad to see young lives snuffed out before seeing them reach their potential.

 

RIP

 

Well said, Samui

A lot of people seem to be cross with Thai attitude, when, in my opinion, the Thais are the most gentle and happy folk imaginable.

Lets not forget, the very same thing happens all over the world, and least but not last, the ladies did not sustain unimaginable tragedy through acid attacks, and the boys did not take down whole classrooms full of children and their teachers.

I am very sorry for the families involved.

Rest in peace

[mindfulness]

... everywhere, everywhere walking, driving, motorcycling ‘tick tock’ time bombs. 

 

Maybe parents, well especially the mothers of sons should stop allowing many of these males to stop sleeping in the same bed with their mothers even in to the early mid twenty’s age range. 

What a truly ‘f’ up section of society. 

[salavan]

Spoiled little babies from birth

Need a slap around the face and a kick up the arse

At least they did the right thing in the end by trying to take their own life pitty they failed at that also

[metisdead]

Some off topic posts,  inflammatory posts  and the replies have been removed.

[totally thaied up]

I watched this a few years ago. I am away from the scene now but cannot imagine it has improved.

 

A friend's child has from since the day after his birth ran the house.

 

A few years ago, at around 19, when I met him, he had no idea of self-control and thinks the world is owed to him. It is all due to the way he was bought up.

 

Lack of leadership within the family. The West also has such issues an I gather we are not that much better sometimes if the school shootings are to say anything. Leadership in families is missing or mental health is to blame (and let's face that, this happens; we have psychopaths in this world)

 

I asked my wife what the hell was going on with her friend, and I got the answer that, ...

 

'He is all she has got and does not want to displease him.'

 

...

 

Same-old story; father bolted at a young age. Daughter to another man a year later that also-ran, but the son rules the roost while the daughter is running around serving her brother, and if she does not do what he says, it is merry bloody hell.

 

Daughter worked at a cafe' and gives her brother some of that money. Young Johnny was on antidepressants last I heard three years ago.

 

So what happens later? 

 

Well, little Johnny seems to think he can treat all women like his sister and mother this way.

 

Rejection is hard to take. No coping skills. 

 

More of this will come and everyone will say, 'Why' 

 

The only difference is the child/person has not got access (yet) to an AK or something similar, and his anger is just pointed at one person compared to the West that mows down just anyone in their way.

 

It is all wrong, both sides but it seems now to be the world we live in.

 

Edited June 6, 2018 by totally thaied up
added content - spelling

[cookieqw]

He urged people suffering heartbreak or severe disappointment to the point of it affecting their health, causing insomnia or suicidal thoughts, to seek a psychiatrist’s help or call the department’s hotline 1323. 

 

no mention of murderous thoughts

[impulse]

16 hours ago, phetpeter said:

Of course lets not forget that they sit glued to Thai soaps which show revenge seeking in many different violent ways including assault, rape, guns. It would help if theses soaps were reined in  and told stories about how to retain sense and rebuild lives and moving on without these extreme's, plus soaps showing kindness, encouragement and helping others.

 

While I agree with your sentiment, who wants to tune in to a show about real life?