American Lawyers.....

[OneeyedJohn]

>>These are from a book called Disorder in the

>< American Courts and are things

> >people actually said in court, word for word, taken

>> down and now published

> >by court reporters that had the torment of staying

>> calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: Are you sexually active?

> >

> > >A: No, I just lie there.

> >

> > >_______________________________

> >

> >

> > >Q: What is your date of birth?

> >

> > >A: July 15.

> >

> > >Q: What year?

> >

> > >A: Every year.

> >

> > >______________________________________

> >

> > >Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the

> impact?

> >

> > >A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

> >

> > >______________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your

> memory at all?

> >

> > >A: Yes.

> >

> > >Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

> >

> > >A: I forget.

> >

> > >Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of

> something that you've

> >

> > >forgotten?

> >

> > >_____________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

> >

> > >A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember

> which.

> >

> > >Q: How long has he lived with you?

> >

> > >A: Forty-five years.

> >

> > >_____________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: What was the first thing your husband said to

> you when he woke up

> >

> > >that morning?

> >

> > >A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

> >

> > >Q: And why did that upset you?

> >

> > >A: My name is Susan.

> >

> > >______________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been

> involved in voodoo or

> >

> > >the occult?

> >

> > >A: We both do.

> >

> > >Q: Voodoo?

> >

> > >A: We do.

> >

> > >Q: You do?

> >

> > >A: Yes, voodoo.

> >

> > >______________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person

> dies in his sleep,

> >

> > >he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

> >

> > >A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

> >

> > >___________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old

> is he?

> >

> > >_____________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

> >

> > >______________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was

> August 8th?

> >

> > >A: Yes.

> >

> > >Q: And what were you doing at that time?

> >

> > >______________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: She had three children, right?

> >

> > >A: Yes.

> >

> > >Q: How many were boys?

> >

> > >A: None.

> >

> > >Q: Were there any girls?

> >

> > >______________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

> >

> > >A: By death.

> >

> > >Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

> >

> > >______________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: Can you describe the individual?

> >

> > >A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

> >

> > >Q: Was this a male, or a female?

> >

> > >______________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to

> a deposition

> >

> > >notice which I sent to your attorney?

> >

> > >A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

> >

> > >______________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on

> dead people?

> >

> > >A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

> >

> > >______________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school

> did you go to?

> >

> > >A: Oral.

> >

> > >______________________________________

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/style_images...es/rte-bold.png

Bold> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the

> body?

> >

> > >A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

> >

> > > And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

> >

> > >A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I

> was doing an

> >

> > >autopsy.

> >

> > >______________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

> >

> > >______________________________________

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did

> you check for a

> >

> > >pulse?

> >

> > >A: No.

> >

> > >Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

> >

> > >A: No.

> >

> > >Q: Did you check for breathing?

> >

> > >A: No.

> >

> > >Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was

> alive when you began

> >

> > >the autopsy?

> >

> > >A: No.

> >

> > >Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

> >

> > >A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a

> jar.

> >

> > >Q: But could the patient have still been alive,

> nevertheless?

> >

> > >A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been

> alive and practicing

> >

> > >law somewhere

> >

> > >

> >

> > >

> >

> > >Oh.....MY GOD!!!

SAL

[farangsay]

>> Do tell

>>

>>

>>

>> Where

>>

>>

>> did you

>>

>> find

>>

>>

>>

>> a teletype you could link to the internet ?

[OneeyedJohn]

If u dont like it put me on ignore

[Little Black Duck]

Recycled but still like it..