Lesson Finally Learned

[Pilotman]

6 hours ago, Dmaxdan said:

The trick is to find a Thai woman that has never knowingly thought about a relationship with a Farang or has no acquaintances who have Farang partners. Then they have nothing to compare it with.

I willing to bet there are just as many TV members who have long term successful relationships as those that had problems, if not more.

Ha ha, good luck finding one of those mate.  They dont exist.  All Thai girls and older woman know about the Farang game.  The vast majority know someone married to one,  or were married to one,  or knows someone who knows someone who has a story about one. 

 

On your second point about successful  mixed relationships, absolutely right, probably more than ones that fail, they just don' t write about it on forums.   

[Pilotman]

58 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

Hmmm, we in the USA have a pathological liar as President and his supporters certainly haven't ostracized him.  But back to the OP, the only loser in that piece seems to be the German guy.  What the heck is going on with that guy?

all politicians are pathological liars, yours is no different to all the others, he just does it louder and more publically.  

[anon4637435435]

ive been screwed over more by western women. thats fact! however thais morals dont exist. i think they might be missing the frontal lobe or something so i trust none. my thai wifes pretty dam good.

[KKr]

1 hour ago, hellohello123 said:

i am far too cynical, and a realist to know that 30-50% of marriages fail (or whatever the statisic is)

 

that if I were to marry, I am not going think , "we're different" regardless of age, race, culture

 

unromantic? yes

 

Some 2.2 million marriages and 946 thousand divorces took place in the EU-28 in 2015.

 

[abrahamzvi]

1 hour ago, from the home of CC said:

wouldn't trade my Thai wife in for all the western women in the world.

Join the club!!!

[Pilotman]

5 minutes ago, abrahamzvi said:

Join the club!!!

all of them?  I mean, I love my wife to bits, but all of them? ?

[Jimbo1964]

1 hour ago, oldrunner said:

Berkshire sure sounds British so leave President Trump out of your limited mental capability.

 

The majority of Brits are not against the POTUS oldrunner. Many like him as he actually doing something good for the US, rather than selling it out. Unlike the UK PM May. Who is bought and paid for like all unelected EU bureaucrats. 

 

It's only the dumb PC crowd aka snowflakes as you guys call them that have limited mental capability, including lacking common sense.

[NoMeAmes]

it took you 16 years, huh? I've been here for only 3 and I've noticed that the moral values here (and in other buddhist southeast asian countries, it seems) are not the same as in the west or in countries with abrahamistic religions. I went on a date with a Thai guy (I'm female) once, and he asked me what kinds of things I don't like. I said that I don't like liars, fake people, people who say A one day and say B the next day, or people who would rather lie than admitting that they've made a mistake or people who lie to gain something, even if hurts others. His reaction to what I said was clear: he didn't seem to see the problem in lying, at all. For me, lying is a black-and-white thing. That's why I don't do it lightly. I sometimes still deceive, but it is on some level taxing on my mental state. So I don't do it often. However, Thais don't seem to think this way. Maybe there is no concept of sin in buddhism, I don't know (someone please tell me whether buddhists know the concept of sinning). So everything is relative to them, everything is tolerable, as long as the "image" is preserved and the relative peace is kept. The guy wanted to continue the date, even though we've spent 4 hours together, which for me, felt like a torture because I saw him as this deceitful individual with no regard for others but himself (as long as his pride is not on the line) - classic Thai behavior. And after that he still texted me. I have no idea why - why keep on trying when it's clear it's as hopeless as Trump's hair?

[RyanWalker]

2 hours ago, hellohello123 said:

i am far too cynical, and a realist to know that 30-50% of marriages fail (or whatever the statisic is)

 

that if I were to marry, I am not going think , "we're different" regardless of age, race, culture

 

unromantic? yes

 

Haha you have learned mate!

[mistral53]

I for one don't understand why it is such a big deal - the German husband comes to Thailand 2 - 3 times a year and expects his 'wife' to be sitting on her hands for the rest of the year? The fact that the German husband was so comfortable with his wife's 'brother' to go fishing together speaks volumes - he must have been a cool chap! It apparently did not make a meaningful dent to have his wife living a second life while he was absent - why should that be a problem? Of course I understand that he would react differently if he would know - but that is the case for many a thing in our lives. Is it moral? well.....to who's moral anyway? Get a life, relax, be happy.......we all die soon enough anyway.

[Happyman58]

Look nothing surprises me here. Anything goes and it is no big deal. A friend of wife we met in Macro. A normal friendly Thai lady in her 40s and with her was her Thai hubby and a couple of kids. Just your normal looking average Thai family I thought what a nice family. Said to the wife they are a nice family. Oh, the wife said she is going to Germany in 2 weeks to go back to her German husband who she is legally married to. Thai husband just has a Thai marriage so not legal. The reason she does this The family was so poor so they both agreed to do this she finds a farang and spun the story to the German that her parents need money So he sends out an amount every month which the Thai husband gets, of course, He doesn't work just looks after the kids Wife says she and Thai hubby still sex when she is in town Unreal i said

[NoshowJones]

7 hours ago, Dmaxdan said:

The trick is to find a Thai woman that has never knowingly thought about a relationship with a Farang or has no acquaintances who have Farang partners. Then they have nothing to compare it with.

I willing to bet there are just as many TV members who have long term successful relationships as those that had problems, if not more.

I don't think so, at the time I came over here to stay, I had lots of farang friends, now the nearest one lives 30 Ks away, we all had regular meetings within a few Ks of my village, and went on trips together, now they have all split up or died. The last time I ever spoke to a farang was three weeks ago in Pattaya, and the next time will be in about two weeks when I travel 140 Ks to see him.

[NoshowJones]

2 hours ago, from the home of CC said:

wouldn't trade my Thai wife in for all the western women in the world.

Neither would I.

[NoshowJones]

2 hours ago, Ketyo said:

One aspect that is more common in Thailand than many Western countries, I reckon, is that there is a higher frequency of bare faced lies and a higher acceptance that people lie to get on in life. This is often done to save face, to protect personal relatiomships, or to avoid conflict. It may seem wierd to people who assume most people are honest most of the time. It can come as a surprise to westerners since Thai people are often polite, personable and sociable. Whereas in the west, known big time liars are often ostracised....but of course not always...

What a shame for all these MPs then.

[theonetrueaussie]

Of course you can have relationships here just be smart about it. If you want to buy anything buy a condo put everything in your name. Don't give them access to your bank accounts and the big one is never let them know how much you are truly worth. As far as marriage goes it is basically the same as the west and you must marry a thai that is of equal networth and income to yourself But good luck finding one that is single. If you do marry then once again don't be silly and put stuff in their name you are just asking for trouble.

[n210mp]

2 hours ago, wwest5829 said:

So, as an American citizen, I concur with Berkshire. So do you always assume something before establishing the facts of the matter?

 

I "assume" from direct experience both in the USA  and especially in LOS that most Amerikuns when it come to Intellect, learning, literacy are well behind  a street wise Pom!

[DJ54]

Same story from a business associate.... except in Mexico. It actually happened for a few years until he made an unannounced visit to bring a new flat screen home...

 

sad but true 

[OneMoreFarang]

8 hours ago, KhaoYai said:

Maybe things like this happen in the west but I've never seen it.  In my social group it just wouldn't happen

Does your social group in the west contain lots of prostitutes and lots of uneducated people with very little money?

Many of us would never have a prostitute as a girlfriend in the west and certainly never marry one.

And most middle class people wouldn't hang around with people who are best case on minimum wage. And they wouldn't mingle with girls who never finished school.

But while visiting Thailand the same people meet all the time low paid, uneducated prostitutes. And then they complain that "Thais" are different...

[Bangkok Barry]

2 hours ago, Ketyo said:

Whereas in the west, known big time liars are often ostracised....but of course not always...

 

Indeed. Some can even become President ☹️

[OneMoreFarang]

 

1 minute ago, Bangkok Barry said:

2 hours ago, Ketyo said:

Whereas in the west, known big time liars are often ostracised....but of course not always...

Indeed. Some can even become President ☹️

And don't forget the over 62 million people voted for that guy!

[KhaoYai]

2 hours ago, bubba45 said:

Quite a few years back a novel came out here called "Private Dancer".  A writer for the BKK Post, believe it was, reviewed it and said it should be handed out free to every single westerner coming into the country.  One of the many occurrences in the book was exactly that, husband passed off as brother.  Good, entertaining read.  Still in print, as far as I know.

Read it when it first came out but you always try to believe and think it won't happen to you. Despite the comments from others that I mix with the wrong people and still have a lot to learn, I don't think that's true at all.  An example is my ex wife, we met, I was careful at first having had problems before but could find nothing wrong.  I was diagnosed with potentially terminal cancer 6 months into the relationship so I had a serious talk with her telling her I would understand if, finding this so early in a relationship, she wanted to get out.  That was met by "No way, I will stand by your side, we will fight this together" - turns out she was already playing around then and probably had a Thai boyfriend before I met her.  So what am I supposed to think of someone who offers to stand by me whilst I fight a disease that might kill me......she's lying?  She was of course but what are you supposed to do - have a private detective watch your girl's every move when you're not there?

 

In the West relationships are built on trust, I had no reason to suspect my (then) girlfriend was anything but sincere. She worked in a factory in Borwin 6 days a week, 10 hours a day - that much I know was true. 99% of the time she answered her phone when I called - of course she could have been anywhere, I wouldn't know - how could I?  Based on what I knew of her, I had absolutely no reason to think anything was amiss and so let the relationship develop.  After about a year, I was however, introduced to a 'cousin', thought nothing of it............god this is going to get boring......fast forward 2 years.............

 

We got married, strange things started happening, the phone was often not answered and was always on silent when I visited. Other things just didn't sound right so I paid an unnanounced visit, caught her with her 'cousin' which she still denied but owned up to 2 other affairs. Kicked her out and divorced her - lots of stuff came out of the woodwork afterwards.

 

Believe me, short of having her watched, prior to getting married I had absolutely no reason to think I was making a mistake.  How many of you that think you're in a stable relationship actually know that for a fact?  Why do you know any better than I did? I wonder what you would find if you paid someone to watch your wife/girlfriend for a while?

 

That is why I say the lesson has finally been learned.  I had relationships with some that I shouldn't have, I even met a really decent girl and screwed that up myself but my ex wife? Without a private detective there was no way I could have known what was going on.  When my suspicions began, I acted on them.  My lesson is learned, I just don't trust Thai women and I'm fine with it - my health is the most important thing to me and I'm going to enjoy my life - single.

[micmichd]

2 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

It's a myth that there's a Thai girl waiting for every foreign guy who hops on a plane and comes here. That's right: even when you look in all the right places, do your homework, and take your time, cultural differences and language barriers make it hard to know what you're getting into until it's too late. Some men are not temperamentally suited to transcend these barriers, and that's not necessarily a shortcoming on their part. Steering clear of romantic entanglements is oftentimes the wisest course of action. Counterintuitive in a country with a reputation for being a girlie mecca, but nevertheless true. Nothing to be ashamed about. Often quite liberating, actually.

I will never understand how Farangs come to Thailand for a month per year, then pick up a young lady, and then expect her not to have sex with anyone else. Maybe someone can tell me?

[Bangkok Barry]

5 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

And don't forget the over 62 million people voted for that guy!

That's the really worrying part.

[JRUSA]

2 hours ago, oldrunner said:

Berkshire sure sounds British so leave President Trump out of your limited mental capability.

Nationality, does not make his statement wrong...

[Athens]

7 minutes ago, theonetrueaussie said:

Of course you can have relationships here just be smart about it. If you want to buy anything buy a condo put everything in your name. Don't give them access to your bank accounts and the big one is never let them know how much you are truly worth. As far as marriage goes it is basically the same as the west and you must marry a thai that is of equal networth and income to yourself But good luck finding one that is single. If you do marry then once again don't be silly and put stuff in their name you are just asking for trouble.

Agree.....i know a few single....good jobs stable income, own car own flat even have a second flat for rent, age app 45, well educated, high school, university, speaks engl , no kids however takes care of student (university in BKK), have visit their home (was invited) , where to find? i was looking for room for rent.... so now if I go BKK I have a room a god discussion  a nice meal nearby.....no sex I do not want to get involved.what thy want a falang to take care even was asked if I know some one, I decline, I am no postillon amure,.

So it is possible to find if yr are a bit creative where to look NOT in bars, massage etc

Good luck.

[KhaoYai]

13 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Does your social group in the west contain lots of prostitutes and lots of uneducated people with very little money?

Many of us would never have a prostitute as a girlfriend in the west and certainly never marry one.

And most middle class people wouldn't hang around with people who are best case on minimum wage. And they wouldn't mingle with girls who never finished school.

But while visiting Thailand the same people meet all the time low paid, uneducated prostitutes. And then they complain that "Thais" are different...

No and I've never tried to have a relationship with a prostitute either - not that I haven't met plenty, I'm not going to deny that. I've had relationships with both graduates and ordinary girls and in my experience, neither one is different in the lying and cheating stakes.  I don't need a lesson on what types of people I should meet in Thailand thank you - prostitutes or some time freelancers are just not 'my bag'.

[KhaoYai]

3 minutes ago, micmichd said:

I will never understand how Farangs come to Thailand for a month per year, then pick up a young lady, and then expect her not to have sex with anyone else. Maybe someone can tell me?

If that's aimed at me, just shows how wrong you can be when you don't know the whole story - I visited every 8 weeks for 2 weeks.

[OneMoreFarang]

4 minutes ago, micmichd said:

I will never understand how Farangs come to Thailand for a month per year, then pick up a young lady, and then expect her not to have sex with anyone else. Maybe someone can tell me?

I think too many guys think they are the knight in white armor. They saved her from the bar. Obviously she only ever had sex because she needed money. Now the knight saved her and she will love him until the end of their days...

[scottiejohn]

9 minutes ago, JRUSA said:

Nationality, does not make his statement wrong...

Maybe but it still makes Trump's TWEETS (sorry statements) the biggest bunch of stupid (sorry political) cr*p ever!

You do NOT need to be a US citizen to see what damage that person is doing to the world.  

What he is doing puts me in mind of the film "DR Strangelove".

PS; A bit out of context but you started it here.

Edited August 7, 2018 by scottiejohn

[Athens]

2 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I think too many guys think they are the knight in white armor. They saved her from the bar. Obviously she only ever had sex because she needed money. Now the knight saved her and she will love him until the end of their days...

555