Are Thai Ladies Justified In Being Paid Every Month By Their Boyfriend/Husband, Or Does It Create The Perception Of Long Term Prostitution?

[CanuckThai]

3 hours ago, Dragon Master 01 said:

If you have a girlfriend that your livingn with or wife in your Country you support them and if you didn't you'd be in a lot of trouble from them as well as the law in a lot of Countries so if you care about a Thai woman aren't they worth the same as women in your own Country???
I myself think the Thai Women are worth far more than any European Woman because the Thai women are far more Loyal and the only thing I wanted to change with my Thai wife was to teach her to use a washing machine and let machines do the work for her so she could relax and enjoy life more that was the hardest thing I had to do with her because from littlen children they are taught to obey a male and serve and work hard or they would die from lack of money to survive and there are a lot that do because the Foreners and Bosses take advantage of the Thai women and how hard they work for almost nothing and don't give the Thai women a decent hourly wage it's usually a monthly wage and not based on 8 hour days but as long as the bgoss wants you to be at work and after a while any body wears down and when they get sick they usually can't just take time off to get well first because the bosses don't pay them enough for them to ever have those Priveledges and secondly if they have time off because their sick most of the time when they can get back to work which is usually the next day of 2 days later most Employers have already replaced them and they have NO Work at all so they can end up on the street very easily or even Dead because the bosses just use and abuse them
I myself think Thai women are exceptional in every way 
I'll probably get a lot of flak from my comment but it's true and there is no Employment security over there you just work as hard as you can as long as you can and hope like hell you can get a better job and earn enough to stay fit and have some sort of life and find a good guy who will support them and Love them like they deserve but very few get that dream because most guys just want to use them and give them nothing but it's not just in Thailand that the women get used so badly it's most Asian Countries and also Philippines and Mexican and Spanish the women are used to look after their parents when the parents get old and at the same time have to look after their husbands who usually don't help and the women also have to look after the husbands family that's why these days most Thai and Asian Women try and find a good White guy and even that can be hard for them as most guys use them and seem to think that their worth nothing like a guy I know that was married to a Thai Woman here in New Zealand and when he told me to stay away from his place when I was trying to find out some information 
I told him that I could understand if he didn't want me any where near his wife because she was Beautiful and then he told me he wasn't Jelouse and that Thai woman were a dime a dozen which he changed to a Dime a thousand Thai Women and I told him his attitude really sucked and to me he wasn't worth shit because he didn't respect her and after a little while she had had enough of the guy and went back to her home in Thailand with her daughter and left the <deleted> here on his own to do everything himself till he found another slave 
But that's the case with a lot of European guys they use the women like slaves 

 

....breathe buddy

[smotherb]

2 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

Since the women have nothing and they are the only kind of women that will take these kind of men.

What kind of men? Are you saying, no man here can get anything but women who have nothing?

[BritManToo]

31 minutes ago, Spidey said:

Sorry to disappoint you but you're the same person here as you were at home. If you couldn't find it there, you won't find it here.

 

I could find it there, it's just cheaper here, with a wider choice of partners and less chance of child maintenance claims or false accusations after the fact. 

[BritManToo]

4 hours ago, Dragon Master 01 said:

I myself think the Thai Women are worth far more than any European Woman because the Thai women are far more Loyal and the only thing I wanted to change with my Thai wife

I think all women are worth the same, $30-$50 a go (depending on age and looks).

European women generally think they're worth much more, which is why I'm here.

Edited August 8, 2018 by BritManToo

[Spidey]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I could find it there, it's just cheaper here, with a wider choice of partners and less chance of child maintenance claims or false accusations after the fact. 

I rest my case.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

5 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

My wife did .

 

My wife also did.

 

My Austrian wife kept her last name.

[AdamTheFarang]

42 minutes ago, Spidey said:

No you're not insane, just incapable of having any cognisance of the fairer sex.

 

 In common with the majority of expats that I come across, you probably couldn't find love/sex (the people that I'm referring think that they are one and the same) in your own country and came to Thailand looking for it.

 

Sorry to disappoint you but you're the same person here as you were at home. If you couldn't find it there, you won't find it here.

I came to Thailand on a scuba diving trip and liked it so I stayed. What are you talking about you have never met me.

[Spidey]

5 minutes ago, AdamTheFarang said:

I came to Thailand on a scuba diving trip and liked it so I stayed. What are you talking about you have never met me.

No, but I've read your posts.

 

I came to Thailand and stayed for the same reasons as you. However, I was very happily married in my own country for 30 years and now I'm very happily married here.

[MadameM]

Retrospectively...hmm...long time ago

So, it depends who's that woman!

I don't recall my mom asking money from my father because he left us since I was 2. There was no child support money or alimony in Thailand at that time. Mon would survive on her own. She turned a single parent raising me so well I would growing up never had any need to ask man for money. She succeeded!

 

When I was dating with my farang-husband- to be, we took turn paying bills. Even after we got married and I followed him to share our lives in the US, my mindset wasn't that I would depend completely on my husband. Never forget I came to the country with $1000.- cash and 2 suitcases. Being new in the new country with no job, I stayed home doing all the chores and he paid all the bills. I did have a need to earn my own money, though. I had to support my mom. This is very common in Thai culture. We take care our elderly as paying gratitude for their hard work raising us up. Experiencing all kinds of discrimination and unable to express myself clearly, I ignored all the person I used to be and how much I used to earn in Thailand and started climbing up the ladders from the bottom. Husband sent me to a community college, which he paid for -- I didn't ask for, to expose me to the language and new culture. I worked as a waitress in a Thai restaurant during the day and went to school at night. The money I earned was partly sent to my mom; the rest was my own allowance. We have one jointed bank account plus our own account. He still pays for the household bills and grocery, and sometimes he will hand me a check $2 or 3 hundreds or so as he pleases. I didn't regard those checks as a payment for my services. Marriage is sharing not serving. I am delightful when he puts a check in my hand -- sweet encounter!

 

So, again... it depends on who's the woman and how considerate the man is. Do you deem your woman as a human partner or an object to be paid for? The answer is yours. 

 

Oh! after over 20 years here, I'm proud to say I've climbed my ladders well and earned generous income and am the one paying the household and grocery bills.

Edited August 8, 2018 by MadameM

[JLCrab]

3 hours ago, smotherb said:

5 hours ago, JLCrab said:

Yes -- maybe several.

Sure, take two, they're small.

Some are --some aren't -- PookLook at 170 cm

[whaleboneman]

7 hours ago, Dragon Master 01 said:

If you have a girlfriend that your livingn with or wife in your Country you support them and if you didn't you'd be in a lot of trouble from them as well as the law in a lot of Countries so if you care about a Thai woman aren't they worth the same as women in your own Country???
I myself think the Thai Women are worth far more than any European Woman because the Thai women are far more Loyal and the only thing I wanted to change with my Thai wife was to teach her to use a washing machine and let machines do the work for her so she could relax and enjoy life more that was the hardest thing I had to do with her because from littlen children they are taught to obey a male and serve and work hard or they would die from lack of money to survive and there are a lot that do because the Foreners and Bosses take advantage of the Thai women and how hard they work for almost nothing and don't give the Thai women a decent hourly wage it's usually a monthly wage and not based on 8 hour days but as long as the bgoss wants you to be at work and after a while any body wears down and when they get sick they usually can't just take time off to get well first because the bosses don't pay them enough for them to ever have those Priveledges and secondly if they have time off because their sick most of the time when they can get back to work which is usually the next day of 2 days later most Employers have already replaced them and they have NO Work at all so they can end up on the street very easily or even Dead because the bosses just use and abuse them
I myself think Thai women are exceptional in every way 
I'll probably get a lot of flak from my comment but it's true and there is no Employment security over there you just work as hard as you can as long as you can and hope like hell you can get a better job and earn enough to stay fit and have some sort of life and find a good guy who will support them and Love them like they deserve but very few get that dream because most guys just want to use them and give them nothing but it's not just in Thailand that the women get used so badly it's most Asian Countries and also Philippines and Mexican and Spanish the women are used to look after their parents when the parents get old and at the same time have to look after their husbands who usually don't help and the women also have to look after the husbands family that's why these days most Thai and Asian Women try and find a good White guy and even that can be hard for them as most guys use them and seem to think that their worth nothing like a guy I know that was married to a Thai Woman here in New Zealand and when he told me to stay away from his place when I was trying to find out some information 
I told him that I could understand if he didn't want me any where near his wife because she was Beautiful and then he told me he wasn't Jelouse and that Thai woman were a dime a dozen which he changed to a Dime a thousand Thai Women and I told him his attitude really sucked and to me he wasn't worth shit because he didn't respect her and after a little while she had had enough of the guy and went back to her home in Thailand with her daughter and left the <deleted> here on his own to do everything himself till he found another slave 
But that's the case with a lot of European guys they use the women like slaves 

 

Sorry but your sentences are too long to read.

[Shiver]

2 hours ago, MadameM said:

Retrospectively...hmm...long time ago

So, it depends who's that woman!

I don't recall my mom asking money from my father because he left us since I was 2. There was no child support money or alimony in Thailand at that time. Mon would survive on her own. She turned a single parent raising me so well I would growing up never had any need to ask man for money. She succeeded!

 

When I was dating with my farang-husband- to be, we took turn paying bills. Even after we got married and I followed him to share our lives in the US, my mindset wasn't that I would depend completely on my husband. Never forget I came to the country with $1000.- cash and 2 suitcases. Being new in the new country with no job, I stayed home doing all the chores and he paid all the bills. I did have a need to earn my own money, though. I had to support my mom. This is very common in Thai culture. We take care our elderly as paying gratitude for their hard work raising us up. Experiencing all kinds of discrimination and unable to express myself clearly, I ignored all the person I used to be and how much I used to earn in Thailand and started climbing up the ladders from the bottom. Husband sent me to a community college, which he paid for -- I didn't ask for, to expose me to the language and new culture. I worked as a waitress in a Thai restaurant during the day and went to school at night. The money I earned was partly sent to my mom; the rest was my own allowance. We have one jointed bank account plus our own account. He still pays for the household bills and grocery, and sometimes he will hand me a check $2 or 3 hundreds or so as he pleases. I didn't regard those checks as a payment for my services. Marriage is sharing not serving. I am delightful when he puts a check in my hand -- sweet encounter!

 

So, again... it depends on who's the woman and how considerate the man is. Do you deem your woman as a human partner or an object to be paid for? The answer is yours. 

 

Oh! after over 20 years here, I'm proud to say I've climbed my ladders well and earned generous income and am the one paying the household and grocery bills.

Nice to hear.  I'm also amazed at how good your writing is, with Thai/English have a completely different mental wiring, whereas neighbouring countries it can be as easy as A=1, B=2 etc.  It's possible of course, but not often found in the common hours.  I have to bow my head there as my skill set needs English more than it needs Thai.

I tried several different financial approaches to support my GF (now wife).  I couldn't get it right because like many people, if she has money then that's her automatic budget to offload completely.  It's getting better and changing slowly to grasping the concept of "spend less than you earn", and keep some in reserve.

Wrt the family, I took on the role of taking care of family, and she takes care of me.  I just asked what she would normally send (which was modest and irregular) and added a decent addition to that and made it direct debit bank to bank (which was still fairly modest really, but comfortably more than they needed).  That worked very well and everyone was content.  Unfortunately most of the older generation have now passed on. Just her and one 'real' brother (and about 2000 relatives ? 

She has her own job and doesn't work for anyone else, which is enough for her to get by comfortably without me (I got rid of her debts and asked her to promise to never ever borrow money again), but I keep her topped up and gaining on the occasions where I have a windfall, and she also knows she has me for the unexpected larger bills like hospital (though I got insurance for us both so it's a moot point really for the most part).

She's my equal.  Better than me in some ways, not so much in other ways, but between us we are a team that clicks together pretty well.

Sounds like you found a good guy.  Not everyone is like that, and I'll call out my own country men when I say that (sadly).

[Shoeless Joe]

Was there ever a more pointless orginal post and its ridiculous assertion; followed by 7 pages of inane responses?

 

Regards,

 

Joe

[JLCrab]

19 minutes ago, Shoeless Joe said:

Was there ever a more pointless orginal post and its ridiculous assertion; followed by 7 pages of inane responses?

Probably -- but some people never pass up chance to write about what a swell person they think they are.

[Damrongsak]

10 hours ago, phantomfiddler said:

I always give the G.F. an extra 20k to give to her Thai husband. C,mon guys, don,t be a cheap charlie ?

Sounds like life insurance to me. 

[Rc2702]

50% of everything out of an atm handed to the Mrs. 

 

But that same 50% is accounted for in our obligations book.

 

The other 50% goes towards days out, meals and household stuff like shopping.

 

I spend 39 baht a day on 1 Leo lek and 199 baht a month on JW red label.

 

Living the Dream!!

 

My Mrs is tighter than me, she only feeds the cat half a tin of sardines!

[ChakaKhan]

12 hours ago, BritManToo said:

 

I can't agree, once I married my white wife, she almost immediately stopped banging me, and from what I've seen and been told almost every other western marriage turned out the same.

IMHO marriage hardly ever resembles prostitution (it's more like joining a monastery).

 

I would never live with a woman where she didn't provide sex whenever I wanted it.

Which is probably why I'm single.

Seems to be the truth...I too am Single as I refuse to Pay to Play here and am happy to invest the time in a woman and i'm content to use the content found online to fulfill any needs, I do however miss human contact by itself(not sex)

 

One the other hand (no pun intended) my buddy is married and his wife sleeps in a separate room and he hasnt, nor claims to want ANY interaction with her, even down to a hug or kiss. He seemingly has the dream, a nice house, a nice car, well paying job, 4 kids, good job, and yet...yep..miserable ..his only words..cheaper to keep her  aka divorce $$$

 

So I spend my single days here eyeing up the cute china dolls in big hats-big sunglasses and cute dresses, I enjoy them as they speak better english and dont ask me for money..just 2 ppl enjoying each others company here ?

 

I'm still curious about your comment about if a girl agrees to go alone with you--u r free n clear to make a move..?

[NonthaburiBear]

short of the story.. i will never marry a woman to give all my belongings and monthly  cheque to my woman ( neither wife or GF ) especially in LOS. If you do that , chances are your partner are lazy person which i never wanted to be associate with.Many Thai woman have business and do several jobs..why the hell you ant to handed over your money anyway, for the sake of love ?

Edited August 8, 2018 by NonthaburiBear

[JLCrab]

3 minutes ago, NonthaburiBear said:

short of the story.. i will never marry a woman <snip>

Me too.

[Damrongsak]

6 hours ago, MadameM said:

Retrospectively...hmm...long time ago

So, it depends who's that woman!  ...

 

... Oh! after over 20 years here, I'm proud to say I've climbed my ladders well and earned generous income and am the one paying the household and grocery bills.

Good deal!  You should be proud.

 

My wife is from very humble beginnings, though a small town girl (Loei), not farmer.  Mostly a single-Mom family with 6-7 kids.  She didn't particularly want to come to USA, but endured it for 35 years. We raised two boys.  She did all the raising, housework, had part-time jobs, all that.  Learned English, got a high school equivalency degree and successfully took several community college courses.  Eventually wrote a book about home-spun philosophy in English and published it on Amazon. ( shameless plug - "Wisdom Window".  Sold several copies.  555)

 

She is wise, kind (to others) and very frugal.  After 40 years of marriage, she can have my half of our accumulated wealth in addition to hers.  It never occurred to me that we weren't equal partners except for mechanical, electrical or computer stuff.   But I was 25 and she was a couple years younger, and neither one of us had squat.  I was making $125 USD per month in the Peace Corps, plus a wee housing allowance and health care.  2,500 Baht a month was enough to live on back then.  Now she can spend 150,000 Baht a month for the next 30 years but she won't.  She does make a few hundred Baht a month volunteering at the Loei hospital and selling fruit from our yard.  Lunch money.

 

 

[Chou Anou]

On 8/7/2018 at 6:36 AM, strikingsunset said:

yawn


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

My feelings precisely.

 

Doesn't the OP have anything better to do with his time than rehash an old, tired, topic which has no "solution" or consensus possible....? Hmm, it's almost as if he decided to throw out something controversial and then watch as everyone predictably gets all riled up and argues about it...if only there were a word for that. Is there? I seem to remember one, starting with the letter "T"...

[The Deerhunter]

On 8/7/2018 at 8:28 PM, AdamTheFarang said:

I am asking in general in the world of equality why do men still pay more than woman?

It is not an equal world. Reponsibilities of care are always loaded in favour of one sex or the other.  Live with it or change the whole world.

[MadameM]

5 hours ago, Shiver said:

Nice to hear.  I'm also amazed at how good your writing is, with Thai/English have a completely different mental wiring, whereas neighbouring countries it can be as easy as A=1, B=2 etc.  It's possible of course, but not often found in the common hours.  I have to bow my head there as my skill set needs English more than it needs Thai.

I tried several different financial approaches to support my GF (now wife).  I couldn't get it right because like many people, if she has money then that's her automatic budget to offload completely.  It's getting better and changing slowly to grasping the concept of "spend less than you earn", and keep some in reserve.

Wrt the family, I took on the role of taking care of family, and she takes care of me.  I just asked what she would normally send (which was modest and irregular) and added a decent addition to that and made it direct debit bank to bank (which was still fairly modest really, but comfortably more than they needed).  That worked very well and everyone was content.  Unfortunately most of the older generation have now passed on. Just her and one 'real' brother (and about 2000 relatives ? 

She has her own job and doesn't work for anyone else, which is enough for her to get by comfortably without me (I got rid of her debts and asked her to promise to never ever borrow money again), but I keep her topped up and gaining on the occasions where I have a windfall, and she also knows she has me for the unexpected larger bills like hospital (though I got insurance for us both so it's a moot point really for the most part).

She's my equal.  Better than me in some ways, not so much in other ways, but between us we are a team that clicks together pretty well.

Sounds like you found a good guy.  Not everyone is like that, and I'll call out my own country men when I say that (sadly).

Thanks for sharing. I do enjoy reading your part. Yeap! There're still many lucky couples who are able to stick together - for better, for worst. However, it doesn't mean there are no rocks and stones on the way. We just have to put up with each other and have faith in our good guy/girl -- who can turn sour sometimes.

Language is not my strength in deed, but thank you! I would give credit to all schools/colleges I've been through with my hubby's support and encouragement. The book said there is 7 to 12-year barrier before you can break through the new language. I spent 12 years before feeling comfortable in writing and speaking. If you happen to spend 10 years in colleges and write an uncountable number of term papers, you sure get something out of your effort.

Anyhow, I'm happy for both of you. You sound like a good guy yourself, and she is the lucky girl, so do I:)

[JLCrab]

38 minutes ago, Chou Anou said:

My feelings precisely.

 

Doesn't the OP have anything better to do with his time than rehash an old, tired, topic which has no "solution" or consensus possible....? <snip>

Oh come on don't be so jaded. Some folks just revel in topics like this as they get a chance to tell everyone how wonderful they are, and how wonderful and hard-working is their spouse, and how wonderful are their honor-roll kids, and how wonderful and never-ask-for-a-satang are their in-laws, etc.

Edited August 8, 2018 by JLCrab

[MadameM]

43 minutes ago, Damrongsak said:

Good deal!  You should be proud.

 

My wife is from very humble beginnings, though a small town girl (Loei), not farmer.  Mostly a single-  Eventually wrote a book about home-spun philosophy in English and published it on Amazon. ( shameless plug - "Wisdom Window".  Sold several copies.  555)

 

 

 

 

Here we go! Another cheerful story to read!

I must search the Wisdom Window on Amazon -- would love to read it! Homesick's redeemed greatly through writing. I did several -- once in a while, but haven't finished any.

Writing and planting fruit trees are my retirement projects. It's always in my daydream that I would live on my own organic garden and sell the leftover Durian, mangoes, lum-yai, ka-noon I pick from my backyard garden in Chiang Rai. 

[MadameM]

8 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

Oh come on don't be so jaded. Some folks just revel in topics like this as they get a chance to tell everyone how wonderful they are, and how wonderful and hard-working is their spouse, and how wonderful are their honor-roll kids, and how wonderful and never-ask-for-a-satang are their in-laws, etc.

Exactly! What else some retired guys/girls would do ?

[Damrongsak]

7 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

Oh come on don't be so jaded. Some folks just revel in topics like this as they get a chance to tell everyone how wonderful they are, and how wonderful and hard-working is their spouse, and how wonderful are their honor-roll kids, and how wonderful and never-ask-for-a-satang are their in-laws, etc.

And a few are wonderful.  It's nice to be dragged into an air-conditioned shop at the market or invited into an SUV driving around town by someone who hasn't seen you in 10 or 15 years and still knew your name.  I get treated like royalty.  Maybe because I married the poor girl of the extended family, but I doubt it.  As for "never-ask-for-a-satang", I understand one relative of my wife's age is worth about 200-300 million Baht, and I doubt she had much back when we got married. Just local merchant class parents. 

[JLCrab]

Wonderful.

[BritManToo]

44 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

Oh come on don't be so jaded. Some folks just revel in topics like this as they get a chance to tell everyone how wonderful they are, and how wonderful and hard-working is their spouse, and how wonderful are their honor-roll kids, and how wonderful and never-ask-for-a-satang are their in-laws, etc.

I always assume shes covered in tattoos and they aren't getting any.

[Snow Leopard]

16 hours ago, Kerryd said:

That's the point so many "Westerners" seem to overlook. They have this impression that the women "back home" never ask for money and are more than happy to just spend their lives in the house, doing all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, kid-raising and "wifely duties" for free.
Because they don't give her a "monthly allowance".

But they forget that she (usually) has access to the "joint account" and spends whatever she wants from "his" paycheque. Oh but that is totally different than if he "gives" the money to her once a month (or whatever). Because if she takes it from a joint account she's a "wife" but if he gives the same money to her then she's a "gold digging hooker".

But take a "super stud" from back home, fresh off his (1st, 2nd, 3rd) divorce, let him loose in Thailand and he thinks that all women should be so grateful he is willing to sleep with them that they should stop whatever they are doing and spend the rest of their lives servicing him (for free). (There really are guys over here that think exactly like that. I've met them and they are not the studs they think they are. It doesn't usually take long to figure out why they have been divorced so often "back home".)

Most of them have NO clue that many of those women (and probably a lot of the men) have a family to take care of back (wherever) and that in this culture, the child (male or female) is often responsible to support the parents in their old age (instead of shipping them off to some old folks home like people do in countries that are supposedly "50 years ahead" of Thailand).

Supporting one's self on a low salary job is hard enough. Even harder when they may be sending half their salary home every month. Probably even harder if they are living with someone who won't even give them a pittance every month as a gesture for all they do in the relationship (even if that person is paying all the bills). Not to mention that the little extra "allowance" can go along way towards "teerak's" social standing in her home/village. ("Face" and "social standing" can be extremely important in one's home village, especially if people know she is living with a foreigner.)

(I've known girls that were living 3 to a studio apartment and sharing a single bed so that they could afford to send half their monthly salary home and that salary was maybe 4,500-5,000 baht a month.)
 

The "studs" also forget that (in most cases) over here, they aren't sharing a bank account with their teerak so she can't just take whatever she wants/needs every month. If they were married and she had access to the bank account then she (probably) wouldn't be asking for any additional money every month.
(But of course there's always the chance that those guys aren't the studs they think they are and could wake up one morning to find teerak gone and the bank account empty !)
 

Well said