Does being an expat keep you younger in spirit and ambition?

[Kadilo]

I would say in the UK many people’s lives are mapped out long before 42. There is this stigma about home ownership, marriage, 2.2kids and everyone living happy ever after. When I worked there I was jetting off to Thailand as soon as I could and they would all be sitting around tongues out dying to know all about all the details as they had “read so much”

The majority were stick in loveless , boring mundane marriages, mortgaged to the eye balls and wishing they could turn the clock back. Wandering around shopping malls with the wifey is an exciting day out for many.

Of course “we got kids now so that’s my life over”was one of the many sad comments I used to hear

Thank goodness I’m only here when I have to be.



Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

[Guest]

29 minutes ago, Esso49 said:

And when you live in Thailand  the fact that no one reaches adult maturity, as recognised in the West, then of course it keeps you young. Proof of that is there are so many expats on this very forum who keep spitting their dummies out . What more proof do you need ????

10 years ago, living in Singapore, I saw an old man on his 60's playing with his radio controlled helicopter in our condo area. 

 

He has been a rode model to me ever since. When I grow old, I want to be like him. Having all the wisdom of the life well lived and still allowing the child inside of me flourish and do fun stuff. 

 

[JimmyJ]

 

 

"New York Times corrects misquote of Thoreau's 'quiet desperation ..."

 

 

https://www.poynter.org/news/new-york-times-corrects-misquote-thoreaus-quiet-desperation-line

[Esso49]

9 minutes ago, oilinki said:

10 years ago, living in Singapore, I saw an old man on his 60's playing with his radio controlled helicopter in our condo area. 

 

He has been a rode model to me ever since. When I grow old, I want to be like him. Having all the wisdom of the life well lived and still allowing the child inside of me flourish and do fun stuff. 

 

A radio controlled helicopter is hardly a childs' toy. It is a hobby aircraft., one for which you need to develop skills for to operate responsibly. In fact a wireless controlled drone is not a child's toy either as it can be used as a war weapon.

[Odysseus123]

4 hours ago, ReMarKable said:

I believe that ex-pats are unconventional by Western standards before they come here.  Thailand is a very hierarchical society and not accepting of original thought.  As a reaction to The Enlightenment, it came to be believed among western scholars that a unique characteristic of humankind was progress.  Other animals don’t make any progress.  But to obtain societal and personal progress, the individual has to combat what Burkhardt, the father of art history, claimed are the forces hostile to progress, state and religion.  The progressive feature is culture.  In the USA today we see that conservative forces are attacking progress and human development, the circumstances representing our humanness.  The state desires individuals to become materialist and suppress their personal journey of progress and development for acquisition of things, advertised as representing “success.”  The church wants us to conform due to the expectation of eternal life as the reward for conventional behavior.  Human progress, individually and societally, is being challenged in most western cultures.  The unconventional person coming to Thailand is open to new explanations and thought that is not supported by their own culture.  It is easier to be yourself here, since Thais have no idea how we should think and behave or know what we think and believe.  The conservative elements of Thai society don’t affect us in any meaningful way allowing us to follow our desire for personal progress, if not societal progress.

 

Most of the supposedly "unconventional" people I met in Thailand were brain dead alcoholics.

 

Perhaps a better way of putting it is to say that people with poor boundaries are able to hide-camouflage themselves more successfully-in a totally different culture.

Edited September 23, 2018 by Odysseus123

[TonyClifton]

Being a 56-year-old expat with a 24-year-old girlfriend who has never taken money keeps me young.  She's not Thai, which ought to explain a lot.

[ReMarKable]

3 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Most of the supposedly "unconventional" people I met in Thailand were brain dead alcoholics.

 

Perhaps a better way of putting it is to say that people with poor boundaries are able to hide-camouflage themselves more successfully-in a totally different culture.

If you think alcoholics are unconventional you would be wrong.  They have no drive for personal or social progress and are all too common in western society.

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, Esso49 said:

A radio controlled helicopter is hardly a childs' toy. It is a hobby aircraft., one for which you need to develop skills for to operate responsibly. In fact a wireless controlled drone is not a child's toy either as it can be used as a war weapon.

You take all the fun out of it. That's the exact thing I want to avoid. I want to have all the wisdom of the world, and still be able to do fun and occasionally stupid stuff. Behave like a child, who doesn't always think of all the ramifications my actions might have. 

 

In general we must be allowed to do mistakes and not to be punished of our mistakes for life long shame. It's actually fun to make mistakes and mistakes are essential way to learn something new. 

[Odysseus123]

2 minutes ago, ReMarKable said:

If you think alcoholics are unconventional you would be wrong.  They have no drive for personal or social progress and are all too common in western society.

Well..they were pretty common in my village-with or without foreigners.

 

But your post was a none to subtle "western" bashing exercise,was it not?

 

If you find one of those supposedly intrepid,unconventional and mind expanding free spirits in Thailand then please let me know.

 

Generally it was pensions,Brexit,Trump and those people from the middle east (you know the ones) and the price of a cup of coffee with the odd leer at a passing female.

[Esso49]

3 minutes ago, oilinki said:

You take all the fun out of it. That's the exact thing I want to avoid. I want to have all the wisdom of the world, and still be able to do fun and occasionally stupid stuff. Behave like a child, who doesn't always think of all the ramifications my actions might have. 

 

In general we must be allowed to do mistakes and not to be punished of our mistakes for life long shame. It's actually fun to make mistakes and mistakes are essential way to learn something new. 

We all make mistakes but it should not be fun to do so. It is learning from those mistakes which you have hinted at that should be fun.   Learning from mistakes is something to date that the world in general has never achieved. Behaving like a child is generally what some nations and people are very good at. Behaving like a responsible adult, to protect our children, seems to be much more elusive.

[wgdanson]

4 hours ago, rumak said:

having sex with your wife is way over rated  

I know, that what I told her last time you were away.

[marcusarelus]

28 minutes ago, TonyClifton said:

Being a 56-year-old expat with a 24-year-old girlfriend who has never taken money keeps me young.  She's not Thai, which ought to explain a lot.

Explains you still have the the pinnacle to reach.  Keep trying.  You may get lucky. 

[daveAustin]

I believe it does keep one younger in spirit. One needs to have travelled - or lived overseas for an extended period - to really appreciate this. Of the UK folk in their rut; they accept their lot because that is all they know and have likely never travelled... fortnight in Spain on 18-30 doesn't count. Being stuck with their life situation, though they may dream of escape, is likely comforting, plus change is a BIG deal.

 

I can relate to the magic thing. Perhaps, maybe, if you're moneyed up in the Smoke (London) and have a vast social scene, but that ain't the average Joe. Thailand still has that spark - bars and girls aside here - of being able to be or do what you want. It's called freedom. UK (as lucky as I consider myself to hail from there), and perhaps much of the West, is just a bit normal and wrapped up in cotton wool for my liking.

[TonyClifton]

4 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Explains you still have the the pinnacle to reach.  Keep trying.  You may get lucky. 

She's never called me Grandpa.

[marcusarelus]

35 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Most of the supposedly "unconventional" people I met in Thailand were brain dead alcoholics.

 

Perhaps a better way of putting it is to say that people with poor boundaries are able to hide-camouflage themselves more successfully-in a totally different culture.

Might be the places you frequented.  I never met any brain dead alcoholics flying helicopters or inspecting oil pipelines, teaching yoga or meditating with the forest monks. 

[Guest]

22 minutes ago, Esso49 said:

We all make mistakes but it should not be fun to do so. It is learning from those mistakes which you have hinted at that should be fun.   Learning from mistakes is something to date that the world in general has never achieved. Behaving like a child is generally what some nations and people are very good at. Behaving like a responsible adult, to protect our children, seems to be much more elusive.

Whatever we do should be fun. Seriously. The best work placed I have worked, were really fun to work in. Highly professional and creative folks having fun while doing very demanding tasks. 

 

When someone had a new idea, the response from the leaderswas , well.. do it. And show how it could work. 

 

When we are allowed to behave like an child, we tend to share our silliest ideas and create new products of the brainstorming what follows. 

 

When we are allowed to do mistakes, we are also allowed to do new things. That's why mistakes should not be punished by peers or the people higher in the organisation. Sometimes things just don't work the way they were supposed to work. Lessons were learned in any case and brought to the future.

[Odysseus123]

3 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Might be the places you frequented.  I never met any brain dead alcoholics flying helicopters or inspecting oil pipelines, teaching yoga or meditating with the forest monks. 

True..I forgot about the SAS,the navy SEALS,a few Top Guns and the odd retired astronaut or two.

 

They usually drank in the other bar.

[allanos]

44 minutes ago, ReMarKable said:

If you think alcoholics are unconventional you would be wrong.  They have no drive for personal or social progress and are all too common in western society.

Life's "losers"!  Dealt a bad hand along the way, perhaps, and couldn't surmount the challenges that it brought . . .

[Esso49]

27 minutes ago, wgdanson said:

I know, that what I told her last time you were away.

And she told me that you weren't up to much either ?

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, allanos said:

Surely, stimulation is what it is all about.  Whether one remains in one's home country or leaves those shores to become an expatriate and retire somewhere else, ongoing stimulation, of whatever kind, is necessary to avoid becoming a cabbage.  So youthfulness, happiness, can be found anywhere, by keeping the brain alive through stimulation.  Mental stimulation is definitely NOT drinking oneself to oblivion in a bar every night, however much fun it may be at the time. For myself, I permanently left home waters when I was 22, and have had an enormous number of adventures and experiences, good and bad, since then.  I have been lucky enough to have led a rich life.  I am now what many would consider to be an "old man", although it certainly doesn't feel that way inside.  Am I sitting around and listening to the grass grow?  Hell no! I am writing a book, stimulating my mind through research and  by story-telling.

I lived in Florida in an area where the British and Canadians retire and watched them there and watched them retire at home.  I watched them look for sharks teeth on the beach all day get a sunburn and search like on safari for early bird dinners and marvel at the low price of used Cadillac's.   I have also liven in Pattaya where Brits and Canadians retire.  They don't look for sharks teeth and early bird dinners.  Maybe blue balloons.  I've had a chance to compare the two groups of expats at close range and in great detail.   Thailand offers mental stimulation on a minute to minute basis in far greater amount than in the West. 

[Suradit69]

8 hours ago, rooster59 said:

Does being an expat keep you younger in spirit and ambition

 

A matter of cause and effect. 

 

People who choose to live out of their country of birth may be the sort who have a youthful outlook and boundless ambition to begin with ( or possibly their ambition necessitates the need for a country that has no extradition treaty with their home country). In that case, being young in spirit and ambition may be part of the reason they became an expat (or sought asylum ).

 

If someone is a human slug, becoming an expat is unlikely to transform him into a unbound dynamo ... evidence is readily available in numerous locations in Thailand.

 

 

Edited September 23, 2018 by Suradit69

[Esso49]

54 minutes ago, TonyClifton said:

Being a 56-year-old expat with a 24-year-old girlfriend who has never taken money keeps me young.  She's not Thai, which ought to explain a lot.

It does not explain anything. Please elaborate without being discourteous to Thais.

[CGW]

6 minutes ago, allanos said:

Life's "losers"!  Dealt a bad hand along the way, perhaps, and couldn't surmount the challenges that it brought . . .

& thats making the assumption that life deals a fair hand in the first place, not everybody can be a obedient "wage slave" ?

[Lacessit]

I truly think if I had stayed in Australia I would have atrophied from sheer boredom. Here, I'm having new adventures every day ( even if it's just climbing onto my scooter ), learning more Thai (slowly), and generally enjoying myself.

Let's face it, how many 75 yo guys in Australia are still having regular sex with their considerably younger GF? I can see the envy in their eyes when I roll out the photos of my travels here.

[Esso49]

9 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I lived in Florida in an area where the British and Canadians retire and watched them there and watched them retire at home.  I watched them look for sharks teeth on the beach all day get a sunburn and search like on safari for early bird dinners and marvel at the low price of used Cadillac's.   I have also liven in Pattaya where Brits and Canadians retire.  They don't look for sharks teeth and early bird dinners.  Maybe blue balloons.  I've had a chance to compare the two groups of expats at close range and in great detail.   Thailand offers mental stimulation on a minute to minute basis in far greater amount than in the West. 

Stimulation is what its all about. Anything to put a smile on your face and keep lead in your pencil must be a postive

[Odysseus123]

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

I truly think if I had stayed in Australia I would have atrophied from sheer boredom. Here, I'm having new adventures every day ( even if it's just climbing onto my scooter ), learning more Thai (slowly), and generally enjoying myself.

Let's face it, how many 75 yo guys in Australia are still having regular sex with their considerably younger GF? I can see the envy in their eyes when I roll out the photos of my travels here.

Half and half,I think.

 

At least that is how I would do it if I was given the opportunity all over again.

[Lacessit]

Just now, Odysseus123 said:

Half and half,I think.

 

At least that is how I would do it if I was given the opportunity all over again.

Meaning?

[simon43]

You take all the fun out of it. 

 

This!!  You can be an adult and still have fun.

 

I'm almost 60 years old and teach English at an international school in Myanmar.  I teach from kinder up to secondary grades.

 

Which grades do I prefer to teach?

 

KG and lower primary grades, 1,000 times over! ?  Because I can (I should!) sing, dance and generally act like a child in class, since the best way to learn a second language for the youngest students is to make the lessons fun, not boring.

 

A person that I respect very much is the late Robin Williams, because as an adult, he still enjoyed 'being a kid'....

 

Life is too short to be an adult all the time.

[Esso49]

7 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Half and half,I think.

 

At least that is how I would do it if I was given the opportunity all over again.

Half and half ? by that do you mean the other 50% of 75 year old Australians are having regular sex with their boyfriends ?

Edited September 23, 2018 by Esso49

[nausea]

2 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I truly think if I had stayed in Australia I would have atrophied from sheer boredom. Here, I'm having new adventures every day ( even if it's just climbing onto my scooter ), learning more Thai (slowly), and generally enjoying myself.

Let's face it, how many 75 yo guys in Australia are still having regular sex with their considerably younger GF? I can see the envy in their eyes when I roll out the photos of my travels here.

It won't seem so good when you're 60. Swings and roundabouts. Anyone who thinks screwing around,  beats having your own house and enjoying your grandkids when your 60 is a fool. Times change and so do you. This doesn't apply to me, I'm exceptional, but most people aren't. Ha!