Mental Health/drugs Problem With Thai Wife

[simon43]

Well, what started out as a light-hearted problem about my wife/family and our hotel in Phuket has really taken on a serious note. I would appreciate advice from TV members. (As stated in previous threads, I don't really like to air my 'dirty washing' in public, but I am at my wit's end.)

My wife is 30 and we have been married for 2 years and have a young son of 9 months.

My wife has always been rather frail (physically). She usually weighs about 33kg and is 145cm short! She is a bit of a hypercondriac (spelling), and like to be fussed over by doctors and friends. I love her very much and am 100% faithful.

About 5 weeks ago, she seemed to go 'off the rails'. She started staying out all night with girlfriends and ladyboys, and visiting the Patong Thai karaoke bars. Despite promising to be home by midnight, or not going at all, she continued this bizarre behaviour, apparently oblivious to my concern and that of her family.

On one occasion a few weeks ago, she fell off a motobike taxi in Patong, and miscarried our new baby who was about 2 months in her womb. She seemed not to care.

She then stole our hotel car and crashed it...

The next day, she stole our replacement hire-car and crashed that in Patong into 3 motobikes. She ran off shoeless when the police tried to stop her. I had to pay for all these damages.

Over this period, she stole (and then lost) about 70,000 baht from me, and lost a 2 baht gold becklace from her mother - as well as her ATM cards.

I then found out that she had been taking drugs from her ladyboy 'friends'. This was not yaba, but sleeping pills that were washed down with alcohol.

We managed last week to get her back to our hotel, and then she returned yesterday with her mother to the Issan moobahn. The idea was that she would rest there for a month or so.

This afternoon, after her mother went to work, she 'ran away' again and is now on a minibus going to BKK. We are all very concerned and we have spoken to the minibus driver who is going to deliver her to her aunt's house in BKK. I fly tonight to BKK to bring her back to Phuket tomorrow.

This is the sorry state of affairs and I really do not know what to do with her after she comes back to Phuket. For her, it is a dangerous place and she has already taken small overdoses of sleeping pills before.

I really need to get her into a secure and safe place where she can be looked after and treated. I'll state again that I love her very much and am not going to 'abandon' her - which would be a very easy thing for me to do.

Sorry for this sob story I'd appreciate your advice.

Simon

[seonai]

God!!!!! Poor you. I really feel for you. Well there's a mental health resources list pinned at the start of this forum you could try. I guess you'll have to try to 'catch' her and sit and ask her what she's feeling like. Is she Buddhist? You could take her to Wat Chalong and get the monks to talk to her.

Sorry to sound so feeble but it's hard to know what to say as it's such a huge problem. Stay in touch here for moral support for yourself. You did the right thing by posting this.

[sendbaht]

If you did not love her this would be easy, but you do.

Love and forgiveness will inspire you to work for what you are "for" rather than what you are "against". Stick it out with her and she will get though this and love you all the more. Our thoughts are with you!

Edited February 10, 2007 by sendbaht

[libya 115]

My wife is 30 and we have been married for 2 years and have a young son of 9 months.

You have a 9 month old son. Yet your wife miscarried...already?

On one occasion a few weeks ago, she fell off a motobike taxi in Patong, and miscarried our new baby who was about 2 months in her womb. She seemed not to care.

Are you sure on this? Conception was impossible with facts given

She then stole our hotel car and crashed it...

The next day, she stole our replacement hire-car and crashed that in Patong into 3 motobikes. She ran off shoeless when the police tried to stop her. I had to pay for all these damages.

There is no excuse for theft.

Over this period, she stole (and then lost) about 70,000 baht from me, and lost a 2 baht gold becklace from her mother - as well as her ATM cards.

More theft probably.....

I then found out that she had been taking drugs from her ladyboy 'friends'. This was not yaba, but sleeping pills that were washed down with alcohol.

I hope that this was the case (sleeping pills only I mean). Drug pushers often seek victims to make cash (see possible thefts above.)

We managed last week to get her back to our hotel, and then she returned yesterday with her mother to the Issan moobahn. The idea was that she would rest there for a month or so.

This afternoon, after her mother went to work, she 'ran away' again and is now on a minibus going to BKK. We are all very concerned and we have spoken to the minibus driver who is going to deliver her to her aunt's house in BKK. I fly tonight to BKK to bring her back to Phuket tomorrow.

This is the sorry state of affairs and I really do not know what to do with her after she comes back to Phuket. For her, it is a dangerous place and she has already taken small overdoses of sleeping pills before.

I really need to get her into a secure and safe place where she can be looked after and treated. I'll state again that I love her very much and am not going to 'abandon' her - which would be a very easy thing for me to do.

Sorry for this sob story I'd appreciate your advice.

Simon, I am truly sorry to hear about these problems. I have searched for some evidence of mental illness of {her} (in your story) but find none. Therefore it is probable that your wife has become involved with drink and drugs and the company of unsavory characters and this has led to unruly and irresponsible behaviour.

You are not alone. I have witnessed similar behaviour of friends wives here in the LOS.

I suggest that you do not let her 'go out' unaccompanied and seek a new location (away from bad influences) to get her to 'dry out' from drink and drugs and do not allow her to be in a position to steal again.

I wish you well. This is a sad story.

Simon

Edited February 10, 2007 by libya 115

[Pattayaman]

Advice i can not offer but my thoughts are with you

[JacknDanny]

Well, what started out as a light-hearted problem about my wife/family and our hotel in Phuket has really taken on a serious note. I would appreciate advice from TV members. (As stated in previous threads, I don't really like to air my 'dirty washing' in public, but I am at my wit's end.)

My wife is 30 and we have been married for 2 years and have a young son of 9 months.

My wife has always been rather frail (physically). She usually weighs about 33kg and is 145cm short! She is a bit of a hypercondriac (spelling), and like to be fussed over by doctors and friends. I love her very much and am 100% faithful.

About 5 weeks ago, she seemed to go 'off the rails'. She started staying out all night with girlfriends and ladyboys, and visiting the Patong Thai karaoke bars. Despite promising to be home by midnight, or not going at all, she continued this bizarre behaviour, apparently oblivious to my concern and that of her family.

On one occasion a few weeks ago, she fell off a motobike taxi in Patong, and miscarried our new baby who was about 2 months in her womb. She seemed not to care.

She then stole our hotel car and crashed it...

The next day, she stole our replacement hire-car and crashed that in Patong into 3 motobikes. She ran off shoeless when the police tried to stop her. I had to pay for all these damages.

Over this period, she stole (and then lost) about 70,000 baht from me, and lost a 2 baht gold becklace from her mother - as well as her ATM cards.

I then found out that she had been taking drugs from her ladyboy 'friends'. This was not yaba, but sleeping pills that were washed down with alcohol.

We managed last week to get her back to our hotel, and then she returned yesterday with her mother to the Issan moobahn. The idea was that she would rest there for a month or so.

This afternoon, after her mother went to work, she 'ran away' again and is now on a minibus going to BKK. We are all very concerned and we have spoken to the minibus driver who is going to deliver her to her aunt's house in BKK. I fly tonight to BKK to bring her back to Phuket tomorrow.

This is the sorry state of affairs and I really do not know what to do with her after she comes back to Phuket. For her, it is a dangerous place and she has already taken small overdoses of sleeping pills before.

I really need to get her into a secure and safe place where she can be looked after and treated. I'll state again that I love her very much and am not going to 'abandon' her - which would be a very easy thing for me to do.

Sorry for this sob story I'd appreciate your advice.

Simon

Simon,

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but what are YOU doing allowing the mother of your 2 yr old son stay out ALL night.

Secondly what are YOU doing allowing your pregnant wife to consume alcohol.

From previous posts it appears that there have been problems for some time with her and the extended family if that is the case having already a young baby why on earth would you get her pregnant a second time???

It sounds to me a case of closing the stable door after the horse has bolted. They say love is blind. I think you have to look at yourself and ask if you are being something of an irresponsible soft touch.

[skippybangkok]

Not sure where u met her, but I would not have my eye's glazed over. A relationship is only as good as both parties are willing to contribute. To act like that, obviously she does not care too much about you, or cares more about her self ??. I recon I would do my best to bring her back to her senses, if that fails, well, there is not such thing as 'one sided love', and maybe then time to lay out the cards for her.

Actions speak louder than words. Married or not, its either shape up or ship out.

[JacknDanny]

Re my last post. Just realised your son is 9 months old, which is even more concerning that you are allowing your MRS to go gallavanting around Patong staying out all night!!

[oldoldgit!!]

If you know a good rehabilitation clinic get her in it, if she is on drugs she will lie and steal to get more, so be strong, she will thank you later when she is well again, good luck!

[bino]

Jeez Simon..... I'm glad that my life isn't nearly as exciting as yours.

I don't want to seem like I'm jumping on the bandwagon and having a go, but I've got some thoughts. Don't take them as insults, just some straight talk. Bear in mind that all of it is based on what I have read and learned from your posts, and I may well be off base and completely wrong. Correct me if I am.

We all know that Thai women are wonderful and mysterious creatures, and that as farangs we will probably never fully understand them, but I'm trying to figure out or guess what might be going on in your wife's mind. Her behaviour sounds like screaming for help or trying to break free of something. I'm guessing that your wife isn't from Phuket and she moved there with you to build the hotel, since you have said that she and the family are from Issan.

I'm in the hotel / travel business myself and spent a lot of time in Phuket. My boss has a house there, and he and I have had discussions about relocating talented and trusted employees from Bangkok to Phuket. He pointed out that Phuket native Thai people are a clique or society unto themselves, and people from the north or even from Bangkok will always be outsiders. As such, we decided against it and hired locally for the operation there.

I'm thinking that it is possible that your wife doesn't like Phuket, or has had trouble fitting in, or is missing her circle of friends and family. I read that your solution to this was to import the family to Phuket also, and give them jobs at the hotel. Could it be that they don't like Phuket either, and are laying comments / pressure on her? I would guess that there is something here, because they do not put any pride or effort into the job of keeping the resort clean.

Furthermore, I remember reading in one of the "Can farangs get financing in Thailand" threads that you obtained financing by transferring the land to your wife, and leveraging against it in her name. Could this be another source of pressure in her mind?

On the surface, it sounds like the whole situation should be the dream of every Isaan girl that comes to Bangkok to work in the city.... Meet a farang with lots of money who will buy them land in Phuket, build a hotel, take care of the family, buy gold and everything she wants or needs, spending money like it grows on trees. Sounds absolutely great.

But- what if it isn't her dream at all, but rather yours? Perhaps the dream that she signed up for hasn't competely worked out as she imagined, and she is finding herself in a weird place without any real friends (just bargirls and katoeys who will be her friend while she is buying the drinks), a lot of family pressures, and a potentially huge liability to the bank.

It may be that she is feeling completely stuck in the situation there with you and can't see how to get out of it and get back to the carefree lifestyle surrounded by friends and happy family that Thai people value so dearly. If this is the case, she is probably tearing up inside wondering why she feels this way when she is living the life that every other girl back on Soi 1 in Bangkok dreams to have.

The whole time frame of your post, especially the stolen 70,000 baht part seems to gybe with the time frame of the recent 30,000 sinsod thread. You said that there was a lot more to that story, so I guess it is somehow involved in this picture. I saw you tell BKKMadness that you didn't pay the money. Could this have cost her a lot of face and dissapointment that would send her on such a self destructive trip?

When you think about it, if your relationship ended, she is probably looking at a huge loss of face and family dissapointment compunded by the legal and financial ramifications and obligations that she has committed to on your behalf. If there is any substance to the sinsod story, which you didn't pay, it may have set alarm bells screaming in her head. She might be thinking what if you left / she left.... would you continue to pay the bank?

It seems that the two of you need to have a good look totally honest and objective look at your situation, and decide if you really are right together, sharing the same dreams and desires that make up a marriage and a life. This sounds really shaky at this point, if she is staying out all night, leaving you and your infant son at home without any explanation to you. She may be too far gone already. In fact, the miscarried baby scenario which you saw as not caring may have been a huge sigh of relief on her part, as it wouldjust be another issue pushing her into this situation.

If you are seriously committed to her, (and she to you..) then it sounds like you will need to find the environment for her where she really wants to be and will be happy, and go there with her. You said that Phuket is a "dangerous" place for her now, so take her away from it and do everything you can to bring your marriage back on track to happiness together. Maybe it means giving up your dream to make her happy- find someone capable to manage your resort, or sub-contract / sell it to give her and your son the life that they want to have. Otherwise....? Don't know what to suggest.

I don't envy you mate. I hope it all ends up for the best and not in tears.

[LaoPo]

Well, what started out as a light-hearted problem about my wife/family and our hotel in Phuket has really taken on a serious note. I would appreciate advice from TV members. (As stated in previous threads, I don't really like to air my 'dirty washing' in public, but I am at my wit's end.)

My wife is 30 and we have been married for 2 years and have a young son of 9 months.

My wife has always been rather frail (physically). She usually weighs about 33kg and is 145cm short! She is a bit of a hypercondriac (spelling), and like to be fussed over by doctors and friends. I love her very much and am 100% faithful.

About 5 weeks ago, she seemed to go 'off the rails'. She started staying out all night with girlfriends and ladyboys, and visiting the Patong Thai karaoke bars. Despite promising to be home by midnight, or not going at all, she continued this bizarre behaviour, apparently oblivious to my concern and that of her family.

On one occasion a few weeks ago, she fell off a motobike taxi in Patong, and miscarried our new baby who was about 2 months in her womb. She seemed not to care.

She then stole our hotel car and crashed it...

The next day, she stole our replacement hire-car and crashed that in Patong into 3 motobikes. She ran off shoeless when the police tried to stop her. I had to pay for all these damages.

Over this period, she stole (and then lost) about 70,000 baht from me, and lost a 2 baht gold becklace from her mother - as well as her ATM cards.

I then found out that she had been taking drugs from her ladyboy 'friends'. This was not yaba, but sleeping pills that were washed down with alcohol.

We managed last week to get her back to our hotel, and then she returned yesterday with her mother to the Issan moobahn. The idea was that she would rest there for a month or so.

This afternoon, after her mother went to work, she 'ran away' again and is now on a minibus going to BKK. We are all very concerned and we have spoken to the minibus driver who is going to deliver her to her aunt's house in BKK. I fly tonight to BKK to bring her back to Phuket tomorrow.

This is the sorry state of affairs and I really do not know what to do with her after she comes back to Phuket. For her, it is a dangerous place and she has already taken small overdoses of sleeping pills before.

I really need to get her into a secure and safe place where she can be looked after and treated. I'll state again that I love her very much and am not going to 'abandon' her - which would be a very easy thing for me to do.

Sorry for this sob story I'd appreciate your advice.

Simon

Simon, I've been following you a bit the past year and know how busy you have been realizing your dream-hotel.

But this is a very serious condition your wife is in right now.

She might be suffering from a Postnatal depression/syndrom which has many 'faces' so to speak.

First your newborn of 9 months old and losing the second one a few weeks ago.

That's quite dramatic in such a short period, for any mother.

She 'seems' not to care, losing her baby, but that might not be the truth...at all !

First of all you might try to stop her contact all those so-called girlfriends/ladyboys. Can you hire a 'wise' Thai couple where the lady takes care of her and him 'watching' her and the so called girlfriends (not to contact/visit her) ?

I doubt if it were just sleepingpills she was taking; the things she did; accidents etc. indicates she has been taking other 'stuff' as well. She could be lying about that...

It's quite a long way from your hotel to Patong and she might have killed herself and/or others, driving in such a condition.

She needs professional help !

Wish you and your wife all the best.

ps: I've sent you a PM.

LaoPo

Edited February 10, 2007 by LaoPo

[Prakanong]

Hi Simon

I can not offer any advice but I have been following your story from Bangkok to Phuket with interest and you once emailed me with some good advice.

All I can say is good luck to you both and hope everything works out for the best for you and your family.

[fxm88]

See also Evil twin. Good luck.

[Ijustwannateach]

If this is a one-off situation, then I agree with the previous posters that professional help is indicated.

If the behavior continues, you will have no choice eventually other than quarantining her from having a negative effect on your life. Be wary of emotional blackmail, such as threats of suicide as you take measures to protect yourself. Good luck.

[simon43]

Thanks for all your good advice. I have just returned from BKK with my wife. She is not capable of looking after our 9 month old son and he has been left temporarily in the good care of her aunt/uncle. (I know them well and it is the best solution in the very short term. If our son stays with us then it's possible that she will run away again and with him, thus putting his welfare at risk as well).

Some people how asked me why I have let her go running around Patong when she has a husband and young son. The answer is simple. I totally forbade her to go, citing these responsibilities. When my back was turned for just 5 minutes, she was gone! (Time and time again). Short of handcuffing her, it was impossible. Eg - she went to the bank with our 'driver' who was told not to let her out of his sight. When he went to the ATM for 30 seconds, she drove off in the car to Patong....

Without being in the same situation as me, you will find it very hard to understand how 'hel_l-bent' she is on her own self-destruction. On the last occasion when she was alone in Patong, I visited every single bar and karaoke in that town, in an attempt to find her, (plus hospital, beach etc). I searched all night for her, as did her sister and brother.

Both me and her close family members are exhausted from trying to monitor her, trying to stop her phoning these friends, trying to stop her running away, trying to stop her from stealing money.... I need a holiday

I spoke with a doctor yesterday in Phuket who promised to help if I could get her to the hospital. But she is adamant that there is nothing wrong with her and refuses to go.

The miscarriage ocurred when she was high on these drugs. With a 9 month old son, it sure is possible to conceive again. (2 months ago, everything looked rosy, so there were no doubts in my mind about conceiving again).

I will try to help her again, but there is only so much that I can do.

Thanks again for all your help and advice

Simon

[qualtrough]

An earlier poster said that your assets were in your wife's name. If that is the case you should consult with a lawyer ASAP to see what you can do to protect yourself should the situation with your wife continue to deteriorate.

[simon43]

Qualtrough - the assets are the least of concern for me. I have my own income from outside Thailand. If I lose everything in LoS that is in my wife's name (about 15 million baht), then I can just start again, no problems.

But it would be a hel_l of a waste if it does go down that path

Simon

[mackayae]

Get her into rehab fast, even if you have to drag her there. Consult with a rehab facility on how this can be done legally. Maybe her parents and yourself have to sign the commitment papers. It's not easy, but it looks as you have no choice. Most rehab facilities have ways on keeping their patients from running away. It might be best to take her to a facility close to her hometown.

About 10 years ago my thai family had one of my sister-in-laws commited to a rehab facility in Loie in order to dry out from alcohol and drugs. She spent 3 months there. She came home clean. She has been much more responsible since. Not 100% perfect, but better than being out of control. It can be done.

Discuss this with your wife's family. This is not uncommon in Thailand.

Good luck to you.

[John K]

Hi Simon,

You certainly sound like you have your hands full. I can tell you that the is the effect so identifying the cause is key. What I would do is establish a time line going back at least 6 months prior to the start of the unusual behavior. In the time line you need to identify events in her life such as family issues with her parents and siblings, new or old people that have come into or back into her life, changes in eating habits, libido, and anything else you see as significant. Also physical changes like weight loss or gain, changes in her menstrual cycle, fatigue, and so on. Also be very aware that there could be a third person applying pressure to her and she does not want to disclose this to you. You are describing anger and frustration directed inward.

Once you have a time line it becomes easier to see the picture. Add as much information as you can as it is like a jigsaw puzzle, the more pieces the better.

[simon43]

Hi John - I know full well where/why these problems started. The 'lady' who supplied our hotel with equipment is the root cause of the problems. She seem 'bipolar' to me, sometimes calm, sometimes angry. I understand that she takes speed etc etc!

Prior to this knowledge about her, we accepted extended credit from her for hotel equipment. She seemed very helpful and both me and my wife liked her. Then she started to turn 'nasty', threatening my wife if she didn't rapidly repay the debt, and then consoling her 5 minutes later!

She was the woman who lead my wife astray and introduced her to drugs and bad company.

Until very recently, my wife refused to hear a bad word against her, but now seems to understand that the woman is no good.

I forbid my wife from seeing this woman. Last week, I visited her and we agreed on a repayment price. (She had been trying to charge for equipment not supplied..). So, my wife does not have to have anything to do with this woman in the future. However! - my wife seems to have enjoyed the drugs that she was given and I understand that other so-called friends have also given ger drugs when she was in BKK a few weeks ago.

Her close family, although concerned very much, are a 'simple' family, and do not understand about drug dependancy, mental illness, PND etc. That's why she has 'slipped the lease' several times when they have been monitoring her.

You are absolutely correct that she needs rehab. One reason for the visit to her moobahn was to speak with the (wise) monk at the village wat, whom she respects very much. But her dependance on the drugs seems to have muddled her brain so much that she spent only 30 minutes at home before returning to BKK.

I would certainly appreciate any contacts/pointers to rehab centres anywhere in Thailand.

Thanks again

Simon

[Couthy]

Is she gambling?. Card playing?.

I have some experience of this a goodly number of years ago here:

She went right off the rails (and was no teeny bopper but a woman of 38), and it was purely down to gambling.

She went nuts - mekhong every single day, duramine and captagon for the buzz and to keep her awake at the games.

Extreme mood swings from being a kind and charitable person to taking on half the women in the Bier Garden Soi 7. (got the sh*t kicked out of herself).

In the end she had to go - I changed the locks.

This may explain your money losses?.

If it is some sort of post / pre natal depression, or depressive illness and she is in BKK, then get her down to Ratchawithi government hospital. They have consultant Physchiatrists there every morning and with an excellent English speaker on Wednesdays.

See a regular Doc one day and you will be in the system for the following morning.

(They work a triage system which seems to be very efficient).

Hope it works out for you and her one way or another.

Regards.

Edited February 11, 2007 by Couthy

[simon43]

Hi - thanks for all the advice. I met a doctor today and will return to the hospital tomorrow with my wife and sister (for support). Depending upon the outcome of the initial consultation, they will either 'detain her' themselves, or preferably will admit her, and myself and her sister will 'detain' her, (ie stay with her all the time and not let her leave...).

The doctor was very supportive, but needs to carry out various tests before they can decide on the best course of action.

Re gambling - my wife does gamble, but only at very low monetary levels. She doesn't seem addicited at all to gambling and usually wins! I don't think this is where the money has gone.

Re a change of environment from Phuket. Although this sounds very drastic, especially since we have just opened a profitable hotel, I will not discount this option. My wife's health is paramount and her problems seem to stem from bad friends in both BKK and Phuket. I could certainly sub-lease the hotel and relocate to Issan if this would keep her out of trouble. (Her family live very close to Laos and the Mekong - maybe we could open a guesthouse on the banks of the river???)

Anyway, I have a totally open mind on all this and will go on the advise of the doctors.

Thanks again. Now I just have to ensure that she doesn't run away tonight! Another sleepless night for me and her brother, (he sleeps on the ground outside of the bedroom door to catch her if she makes a break for the hills....)

Simon

[jumnien]

I know of a wonderful alcohol and drug treatment center in Khon Kaen that cost approx. 4500 baht per month that might be perfect for your wife to begin her recovery. Interested?

[simon43]

Mdeland - please PM details!

Thanks

Simon

[jumnien]

ศูนย์บำบัดรักษายาเสพติด

Soon Bam Bat Rak Sa Yaa Sep Dtit

Center for Treatment of Drug Addiction

775 Moo 19, Amphur Muang, Changwat Khon Kaen

775 หมู่ 19 อำเภอศิลา จังหวัดขอนแก่น

Phone at center: 043-345 391-2, ext 311 or 314

Ask for nurse oiy or just talk to whoever you get. If any problem or questions PM me back. There are 12-step meetings in Phuket and throughout Thailand that you could try as well. They are free and have Thai and English speakers.

[John K]

Simon,

If you are certain of that then you should move forward with that approach. The facility that mdeland talks about, I think I have heard of this through an American that volunteers there, however I not sure if it is the same one. One thing is very important that you must do is how you approach this with her. As she is Thai, you must think Thai and blend this into her beliefs and religion. As I deal with different people from different cultures and upbringing, I have found it necessary to add a few more questions on my intake forms that address this. Simply the key must fit the lock here. She will have a hard enough time without assimilating your personal beliefs and understandings of what makes things tick.

[jumnien]

Just to clarify, the treatment center in Khon Kaen is a Thai government facility for Thais run by Thai professionals. They have in the past taken a very small amount of foreigners.

[swain]

Serious questions come to mind. And ones that would better be talked about in private. What was her life before you met her, as in who she hung with, what kind of work she was doing, and her emotional history. I am not a judgmental person if you want another take on how to handle your situation and there is more dirty laundry that you would rather not air here, message me.

I hope you are able to help her.

[LaoPo]

Hi - thanks for all the advice. I met a doctor today and will return to the hospital tomorrow with my wife and sister (for support). Depending upon the outcome of the initial consultation, they will either 'detain her' themselves, or preferably will admit her, and myself and her sister will 'detain' her, (ie stay with her all the time and not let her leave...).

The doctor was very supportive, but needs to carry out various tests before they can decide on the best course of action.

Re gambling - my wife does gamble, but only at very low monetary levels. She doesn't seem addicited at all to gambling and usually wins! I don't think this is where the money has gone.

Re a change of environment from Phuket. Although this sounds very drastic, especially since we have just opened a profitable hotel, I will not discount this option. My wife's health is paramount and her problems seem to stem from bad friends in both BKK and Phuket. I could certainly sub-lease the hotel and relocate to Issan if this would keep her out of trouble. (Her family live very close to Laos and the Mekong - maybe we could open a guesthouse on the banks of the river???)

Anyway, I have a totally open mind on all this and will go on the advise of the doctors.

Thanks again. Now I just have to ensure that she doesn't run away tonight! Another sleepless night for me and her brother, (he sleeps on the ground outside of the bedroom door to catch her if she makes a break for the hills....)

Simon

It's obvious you love your wife dearly and I have immense respect for what you're doing and even planning to move from your newly built resort in order to save your wife, (and son) and your marriage !

LaoPo

[simon43]

Guys, and LaoPo especially, thanks for your help and advice. My wife was 'lucid' this evening and recognised that there is a problem and that it needs treatment. We will visit the hospital tomorrow. I'll keep you informed. But at least she understands that all is not right 'inside her head' and wants to get it sorted out.

:)

Simon