The week that was in Thailand news: Thailand colonized at last - More Chins than a Chinese phone book.

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Thailand colonized at last - More Chins than a Chinese phone book.

 

 

The first joke I ever told I was aged seven in the wake of the first Apollo space missions.

 

"There's good news and bad news. The BBC have just announced that the Chinese have landed on the moon. 

 

"What's the good news?"

 

All of them. 

 

OK, I was only seven, cut me some slack for a lame joke. A mate of mine in the 80s on seeing an unusual sight in those days, an overweight Thai, would always get guffaws of unbridled laughter with:

 

"Oh hoo na khrap. More Chins than a Chinese phone book". 

 

Little did we know back then - just a decade or so after Richard Nixon met with Chairman Mao Zedong and Premier Zhou Enlai in China - how the landscape of the world, and especially its tourism, would change.

 

By the same token given another US president's rapprochement with a former Asian foe this year we might all be welcoming millions of North Koreans to places like Pattaya and Hua Hin come 2064. It is about as likely.

 

This week in Thaivisa news it was China, China and more China. It was like the weeks of the cave drama all over again except that every other story featured the Chinese and principally for Thai watchers their burgeoning relationship with everything Thai. 

 

Everybody likes to bash the Chinese it seems but Thai officialdom is increasingly obliged to suck it up and bend over backwards for a jolly good thrashing from their all encompassing and powerful Asian neighbor. And after being spanked they must say "khorp khun" and put another prawn on the buffet. 

 

Tourism, we are repeatedly told, makes up about one fifth of the Thai economy. And of all tourists the Chinese make up more than a quarter. That must mean that the Chinese visitors make up several percent of GDP. That is a lot for one single entity but it is massive when one considers who is affected by negative news and drops in Chinese tourism. 

 

No, it is not the beach operators on Jomtien or the hoteliers and agents on Patong. It is several controlling figures high up in Thailand who will really feel the pinch. 

 

Or as Clive Dunn used to say in "Dad's Army" - They don't like it up 'em Mr Mainwaring. 

 

The bleating about the drop off in Chinese numbers since the Phuket boat tragedy and more recently the assault of Mr Chin by a Don Muang security guard has all come via the Thai government as it is members of that honorable institution, and their relatives, who are feeling that pinch the most. 

 

This week Big Too was clearly jumping up in a right Thai tizzy. If the Don Muang guard had been in the army it is possible that no one would have heard from him again. But when Chinese social media starting claiming, or as most would see it telling the truth, about back-handers to immigration Prayut turned to his and DPM Prawit's main man. 

 

Namely Big Joke - Maj-Gen Surachate Hakpan who took over as head of immigration on Monday. BJ was sent in all guns blazing and his masters must have been thrilled with the quickfire result - the arrest of a "gang of four" Chinese (memories of Mao's wife there!) who had embarrassed the Chinese in an investment fraud ratified by their own government.

 

One government pleasing another - gold dust. 

 

This must have been music to the Thai premier's ears as others like tourism minister Wearysak joined in the fray to win back the lost Yuan.

 

Social media meanwhile - not as shackled  by Thai technology and sharing laws as many newbies to Thailand believe - launched into familiar tirades against their fellow Asians.

 

Stories abounded about fake and illegal guides on tour buses spouting nonsense about there being things like prostitutes in Pattaya for, shock horror, US servicemen to enjoy! Such claims were ridiculed alongside the guides being filmed giving renditions of the Thai national anthem for their countrymen's edification on tour buses.

 

I have heard some bad karaoke in my time but this took the Chinese cookie. 

 

By contrast, the "Where-Have-All-The-Nice-High-Spending-Western-Tourists- Gone" narrative was given a timely boost with a video of a farang standing bolt upright proudly singing the anthem and saying "Chaiyo" before wai-ing. 

 

The Thais seemed to be saying - now that is the kind of "Hua Jai Thai" we need now - even if he vaguely resembled one of those bruisers in Pattaya with tattoos who beat people up for not paying the Bike Gang their bar protection money on time.

 

Given the social media climate against the Chinese another Westerner - this one from Holland aged 70 - was pitied rather than vilified for claiming the Thais had robbed him blind resulting in him having to sell cheap watches at the airport to get back to Europe. 

 

Normally he would have been hung out to dry for that. Now the Thais rather felt sorry for him and resorted to deferring to age and making jokes about dodgy Rolex. 

 

Amid all the Chinese sphincter licking and its concomitant bashing came perhaps the greatest laugh and the clear winner of my "Irony of the Week award". A Thai Rath journalist slammed one of the guides on a tour bus for suggesting that Thailand was a colony of the Chinese.

 

Methinks that the antics of this week may have struck many that such a statement was a little too close to the truth for comfort. At the very least such words may have got stuck in the throat - rather like the chicken feet that was said to be the death of a Chinese tourist who received scant sympathy for doing what the nation's detractors say their nationals always do - gobble down their food with barely a Chiw. 

 

Throughout the 80s people told me "you must go to China". I was always a lover of India for foreign holidays and I didn't take up the offer to visit until 2011. I planned to take some international school children on a surfing trip to Hainan island and organized several skiing trips to an area north of Beijing. 

 

I enjoyed my visits but hankered for Bangalore. Later I made two trips to Hong Kong but that is hardly China......more like Britain with noodles. Though I must say I absolutely adored Hong Kong - not least of all for picking five winners one night at Happy Valley and attending - with 110,000 others - the biggest attendance in history at Shatin racecourse one memorable Chinese New Year.

 

I have a lot of respect for the Hong Kong Jockey Club if not quite that much yet for the Chinese themselves. Mostly Rooster takes people as he finds them though like everyone I have my favorite nationalities and those I'd think twice about getting into bed with. 

 

For what it's worth I shall probably go to my grave thinking that few on earth can match the Japanese and the Irish while I am less enamored by those who live, appropriately enough, no more than a proverbial stone's throw from Mecca. 

 

No one will be enamored by a British national who this week get's my wholehearted "Darwin Award For Lack of Service to the Gene Pool". 

 

Seventy year old Sidney along with his Thai wife decided to force the door and half inch their next door neighbor's mattress and 3,000 quid while he was away in Cambodia.

 

That would not qualify for the Darwin Award in itself. What did was the fact that it all played out on CCTV in the hall. They denied it at first then had to admit Pol Col Apichai Krobpetch (AKA AK 47) had made a fair cop. 

 

Welcome to Thai clink Sidney and if and when you do get out - please, please don't try to procreate. 

 

Another award goes to the omnipresent Big Joke - he was rivaling "Chinese" as the buzzword of the week! The Maj-Gen gets the "Better Late Than Never" award for the "No Tips" signage that has gone up nationwide in an effort to rein in bent immigration officers (otherwise referred to as his underlings). After a brilliant story from Isaan about ghosts killing villagers like there is no tomorrow it got me thinking:

 

When, oh when, is Big Joke going to take on the OGRES?!?!

 

Finally, a big thumbs up for the Thais this week came in the unlikely shape of an altogether better Brit, snooker legend Ronnie O'Sullivan. The largely undisputed most-talented-person-ever-to-pick-up-a-cue told The Sun that he is planning on three months at a Buddhist retreat in Thailand. The firebrand has mellowed greatly in recent years so let's just hope that the availability of Ya Ba and free sex in the nation's temples doesn't tempt him.

 

The last thing we need would be that another Brit emulates their father - Ronnie's was banged up for decades for murder. 

 

Of course believing anything in The Sun is like taking deputy prime ministers and their tales at watch face value but I do hope Ronnie comes and makes up for his absence at the Six Red World Championships that we enjoyed in Bangkok last month. 

 

Rooster - a proud and devout atheist - has never stayed at a temple longer than doing a quick "graap" to please the missus so the idea of months or ordaining at one is anathema. I did once have cause to lie through my front teeth about the matter, however.

 

My local Pathum Thani hairdressers had scandalously put the price of a haircut up from 25 to 30 baht so rather than risk penury I decided to shave my own head. 

 

This freaked out my children but failed to impress my British headmaster at the international school where I worked as Head of Thai Studies. In a welcome back meeting after the summer holidays he announced, with a thinly veiled sneer, that all teachers should refrain from "skinhead haircuts".

 

I liked him a lot but on this occasion I intended to get my own back with the artifice of playing on a perceived lack of knowledge of Thai culture. Through one of his deputies I let it be known that during the holidays I had, most honorably, ordained in the monkhood in order to pass onto my students in the Thai Studies classes first hand knowledge of the tenets and traditions of Buddhism. 

 

I figured correctly that only Thais would notice that this was nonsense as I had not had my eyebrows shaved. 

 

I got a lovely British apology though whether I shall burn in the copper pot of Thai hell for lying...... 

 

Well, that remains to be seen. 

 

Rooster

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2018-10-06

[Samui Bodoh]

Excellent column as always...

 

"...Everybody likes to bash the Chinese it seems but Thai officialdom is increasingly obliged to suck it up and bend over backwards for a jolly good thrashing from their all encompassing and powerful Asian neighbor. And after being spanked they must say "khorp khun" and put another prawn on the buffet..." 

 

Ahhh! Yes, the Chinese. They will be a topic for Thailand for the next twenty years at the extreme bare minimum, and I would guess a great deal longer.

 

Why are there China problems? I'd prefer to avoid Thai politics here, but it is both unavoidable and simple. The Junta took power and the economy was harmed. The 'West' wasn't terribly happy with the coup and didn't, for some inexplicable reason, shower money on the Military for "saving" Thailand from the curse of elections, human rights and prosperity. The Junta, in full knowledge that authoritarian governments don't last unless there are good economic conditions, invited the Chinese tourist (and to a lesser degree the Chines investor) in to the country to provide economic growth. Yes, at first, it was great and everyone was happy, but slowly, in a Yaba-like fashion, the bloom wore off and things became... murkier. Now, again in a Yaba-like fashion, things have reached a dependency, and in a dependency people have to do things they don't like such as the Rooster-mentioned 'bending over'.

 

And, here we are. Thai officialdom, whether they like it or not, are going to be bending over for a long, long time. 

 

I feel sad for Thailand, but I do enjoy one element; for four years I have been reading and/or seeing on TV the Junta bullying Thai people. Now, those same people who were so "Big" and 'Tough" are kow-towing like 11 year old girls.

 

'Som nom na'.

 

[Matthew2027]

Great read, well written, entertaining and sadly true..

 

 

[RetroGTAndrew]

Haha, "I am less enamored by those who live, appropriately enough, no more than a proverbial stone's throw from Mecca." How polite, echos my sentiments exactly.

 

Andrew

[Mavideol]

New here, first time I read Rooster's column,... fantastic, entertaining great writing and a pleasure to read.  All correct and unfortunately true !!!!!! keep up the good work

[Mavideol]

21 hours ago, Samui Bodoh said:

Excellent column as always...

 

"...Everybody likes to bash the Chinese it seems but Thai officialdom is increasingly obliged to suck it up and bend over backwards for a jolly good thrashing from their all encompassing and powerful Asian neighbor. And after being spanked they must say "khorp khun" and put another prawn on the buffet..." 

 

Ahhh! Yes, the Chinese. They will be a topic for Thailand for the next twenty years at the extreme bare minimum, and I would guess a great deal longer.

 

Why are there China problems? I'd prefer to avoid Thai politics here, but it is both unavoidable and simple. The Junta took power and the economy was harmed. The 'West' wasn't terribly happy with the coup and didn't, for some inexplicable reason, shower money on the Military for "saving" Thailand from the curse of elections, human rights and prosperity. The Junta, in full knowledge that authoritarian governments don't last unless there are good economic conditions, invited the Chinese tourist (and to a lesser degree the Chines investor) in to the country to provide economic growth. Yes, at first, it was great and everyone was happy, but slowly, in a Yaba-like fashion, the bloom wore off and things became... murkier. Now, again in a Yaba-like fashion, things have reached a dependency, and in a dependency people have to do things they don't like such as the Rooster-mentioned 'bending over'.

 

And, here we are. Thai officialdom, whether they like it or not, are going to be bending over for a long, long time. 

 

I feel sad for Thailand, but I do enjoy one element; for four years I have been reading and/or seeing on TV the Junta bullying Thai people. Now, those same people who were so "Big" and 'Tough" are kow-towing like 11 year old girls.

 

'Som nom na'.

 

Lived in China for sometime..... never and I really mean NEVER trust a Chinese.... I like tham as much as ..."""""those who live, appropriately enough, no more than a proverbial stone's throw from Mecca."""""" sadly enough is not only Thailand bending over, look at Africa, it's pity how low they bend to sell their country with the promises of better tomorrow.... they didn't learn from all the previous colonialism in Africa.....

 

 

[Thaidream]

China is a clear and present danger to the World. Their goal is to use its size and money pot to colonize those countries that have vast natural resources and food so as to be able to keep the Communist Party in power.  Their arrogance knows no bounds. They never provide foreign assistance out of the goodness of their heart- they provide it to gain a foothold in other countries.

 

As much as I dislike Donald Trump and his World view- he is right on China and is doing something about it. Trump needs to stop allowing China to buy any American debt and Thailand needs to stop allowing any Chinese investment in Thailand before the trend is irreversible and the Chinese gain control of  rice fields and   essential Thai industry.

[Darcula]

23 hours ago, rooster59 said:

When, oh when, is Big Joke going to take on the OGRES?!?!

He can't. He works for them.

[marqus12]

1 hour ago, Mavideol said:

...they didn't learn from all the previous colonialism in Africa.....

 

 

Poor African countries do not have much to lose so can not blame them.
But the moronic American elite who pulled China out of the cesspool
and put them in a position to dominate the world this is the peak of stupidity

[Thaidream]

1 hour ago, marqus12 said:

oor African countries do not have much to lose so can not blame them.
But the moronic American elite who pulled China out of the cesspool
and put them in a position to dominate the world this is the peak of stupidity

Since when did the elite of any country give a damn about anyone other than themselves and their ability to turn billions into trillions/  The average person in any country is up against a Worldwide cabal who believe in  only one god- it's called money  The Chinese are clever- they recognize the greed and will use it against any country they can to establish their goal of Worldwide domination.

 

Let's see how far Trump will go to stop them or will he fold when the Chinese  make an offer he can't refuse. I also want to see how far Thailand will go before they realize their sovereignty and cultural identity is at risk.

[fred110]

2 hours ago, Thaidream said:

China is a clear and present danger to the World. Their goal is to use its size and money pot to colonize those countries that have vast natural resources and food so as to be able to keep the Communist Party in power.  Their arrogance knows no bounds. They never provide foreign assistance out of the goodness of their heart- they provide it to gain a foothold in other countries.

 

As much as I dislike Donald Trump and his World view- he is right on China and is doing something about it. Trump needs to stop allowing China to buy any American debt and Thailand needs to stop allowing any Chinese investment in Thailand before the trend is irreversible and the Chinese gain control of  rice fields and   essential Thai industry.

They are really moving into Cambodia. Buying everything and displacing the Kmers. 

[baansgr]

Thais have never been colonised but have been invaded more times than almost any other country in the World. Only a few weeks ago they were touting their greatest stand at Chumpoon against the Nips which lasted all of a few hours...

[Cadbury]

12 minutes ago, fred110 said:

They are really moving into Cambodia. Buying everything and displacing the Kmers. 

After the Vietnamese liberated Cambodia from Pol Pot and moved in they purchased everything they could get their hands. Now it seems the Chinese are in there getting their hands on as much as possible.

Hun Sen would sell his soul to the devil, meaning the Chinese, just as Pol Pot did.

[Thaidream]

Hun Sen has already sided with  the devil.  Pol Pot sold nothing- he was a pure Socialist who died in obscurity and poverty while his  henchman Hun Sen -sold out the Khmer Rouge and became Prime Minister for the next 30 years.  While Pol Pot was a murderer- he never sold out Cambodia to foreign influence.  Hun Sen on the other hand   will be judged by History and his fellow citizens.

[Commercial Diver]

What Absolute Drivel

[masuk]

I was somewhat surprised, returning to Thailand via DMK airport, to see that almost all the Immigration booths were signposted "Chinese" and about two were for Foreigners.  

[Stargeezr]

Another good read, and if I remember right there is a tent city near Mecca

that is only used by certain people once a year. I think it could be used as

a refugee shelter for even part of the year, but then the refugees would actually

have to get into SA to even use it.

Geezer
 

[bheard]

18 hours ago, Thaidream said:

Since when did the elite of any country give a damn about anyone other than themselves and their ability to turn billions into trillions/  The average person in any country is up against a Worldwide cabal who believe in  only one god- it's called money  The Chinese are clever- they recognize the greed and will use it against any country they can to establish their goal of Worldwide domination.

 

Let's see how far Trump will go to stop them or will he fold when the Chinese  make an offer he can't refuse. I also want to see how far Thailand will go before they realize their sovereignty and cultural identity is at risk.

Trump's antics are just an ego trip for him, no more than a pot hole in the 'belt and road' for the Chinese. He'll be gone soon enough, the Chinese will still be there. 

[Mark mark]

Goooo Rooster ! - Nice one Mate, about the Shaved Head, and quickly? Humorously invented excuse at the international school !!!