She Says Her Husband Died?

[onekoolguy]

5 hours ago, timendres said:

By "social skills", I assume you are speaking primarily about her ability to communicate with you in English. Learning to speak Thai is the answer. Opens up a worlds of opportunities. 

Actually this woman dresses like a model to fit any occasion, knows how to do perfect make up, can carry on an intelligent conversation in English, is comfortable in about any social situation and of course is expert at working men! Haha Including me!

The Trust issue is a killer, but really hard to let go!

[rvaviator]

Does not sound like a nurse to me ???? ...  But hey ...  If you enjoy paying for the company .. Then keep paying .. a bit like a high end 'escort' ... 

 

Good luck with what ever you do ...

[onekoolguy]

8 minutes ago, rvaviator said:

Does not sound like a nurse to me ???? ...  But hey ...  If you enjoy paying for the company .. Then keep paying .. a bit like a high end 'escort' ... 

 

Good luck with what ever you do ...

Now she teaches Nursing. But maybe something lurking in her past? That did occur to me? 

[rvaviator]

1 minute ago, onekoolguy said:

Now she teaches Nursing. But maybe something lurking in her past? That did occur to me? 

Now how do you know that she does actually teach nursing?  What sort of nursing does she teach? ER stuff.. General nursing?   Just because you say .. does not mean that she do ???? 

[onekoolguy]

8 minutes ago, rvaviator said:

Now how do you know that she does actually teach nursing?  What sort of nursing does she teach? ER stuff.. General nursing?   Just because you say .. does not mean that she do ???? 

That's a good question, but she actually does teach part time. Most of her friends are nurses that she worked with. Many are married to Guys like us. A benefit from working at Bumrungrad I guess?

[georgegeorgia]

Your eventuallly going  to have to confront her about her lies.

 

 

 

 

[stevkob]

Op you sound like a decent guy who has been caught by an experienced Thai woman. Your best outcome is to extract yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.

Thai women have an arsenal of weapons to try and hold onto their farang ATM machine including sex, threats, anger, bucket loads of crying and lying, etc etc and believe me when she realises her kids uni fees and her house is slipping away she will go all out to change your mind.

That is why you hear of many farang just disappearing in situations such as this.

You need to be a bit more proactive in finding out the truth, it means doing some in your face investigation into her life, check her phone, watch her movements, delve into who and what she is actually doing. Once you have the facts you will feel much better when you cut her out.

 

[onekoolguy]

1 hour ago, stevkob said:

 

You need to be a bit more proactive in finding out the truth, it means doing some in your face investigation into her life, check her phone, watch her movements, delve into who and what she is actually doing. Once you have the facts you will feel much better when you cut her out.

 

Thanks for the very useful advise Stevkob. Being somewhat emotionally involved I want to think that I'm wrong and there are explanations for everything. Buts that's just not the way it is. Its hard, but I tell myself that this is Thailand and "There Are More"!

[Katia]

Or... just cut her out, period.  If you trust her so little you have to practically hire a private eye to follow her, is it really going to be a good relationship even if you find out she's on the up and up?  And if she's not, why spend time and maybe money just to vindicate yourself that she needs to go?

 

(Besides... TiT.  What's to say he didn't fall asleep at his construction-site job... lol)

[lopburi3]

1 hour ago, stevkob said:

That is why you hear of many farang just disappearing in situations such as this.

Lets keep it real - that would not help keep an ATM open and it does not happen to 'many farang'; if any.  Life is not a Thai soap opera; even if it has some of the charastics.   

[onekoolguy]

3 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

Your eventuallly going  to have to confront her about her lies.

 

 

 

 

I have tried to do this and she answers with more lies that seem somewhat reasonable until I think about it? The BF is a "cousin" and 

 "How could I have a BF when I go on months long trips with you?"  2000K weekend trip to Ubon became "repeated trips to Moms house. " Not sure I want to tell her about the GPS in my car?

 

 

The thing is that there is no explanation for the facts. If I prove my point to her what is the outcome? We both lose.

Very disheartening! I can't see any good outcome?

 

 

[onekoolguy]

58 minutes ago, Katia said:

Or... just cut her out, period.  If you trust her so little you have to practically hire a private eye to follow her, is it really going to be a good relationship even if you find out she's on the up and up?  And if she's not, why spend time and maybe money just to vindicate yourself that she needs to go?

 

(Besides... TiT.  What's to say he didn't fall asleep at his construction-site job... lol)

Hard as it is, I think this is what has to happen? 

[timendres]

3 hours ago, onekoolguy said:

Hard as it is, I think this is what has to happen? 

You have two choices, as I see it. Cut the relationship and move on, or manage the beast. I had a Thai g/f who was half in love with me, half in love with my money. The money part caused all sorts of grief, until I learned to manage it. Once I got that under control, life was good. I anticipated the lies, I dealt with the manipulations, and I never felt that I was being taking unreasonable advantage of. The one big difference being, I was sure she did not have another guy. That might have been a bit too difficult for my emotions. Sometimes they actually want to be tamed.

[BritManToo]

4 hours ago, onekoolguy said:

"How could I have a BF when I go on months long trips with you?"

I knew an American guy with a Thai wife, married 15 years, but she still had a Thai husband she snuck off to see and fed money.

[dotpoom]

"Is it common for Thai Women to lie about her husband being killed? Why would she do this?"

   Does the Pope wear funny hats?

  (Sorry, couldn't resist it). No disrespect intended).

[Toscano]

If you have the slightest doubts , my advice is don't get married . If you live in Thailand have a retirement visa .

It is better to rent or lease a house rather than buy or build , whatever you do do not put at risk your resources .

With a retirement visa you can if pressed have a simple Thai wedding , that in the event marriage doesn't work out ,

you can simply pack your bags and leave .

[Tbone999]

6 hours ago, onekoolguy said:

I have tried to do this and she answers with more lies that seem somewhat reasonable until I think about it? The BF is a "cousin" and 

 "How could I have a BF when I go on months long trips with you?"  2000K weekend trip to Ubon became "repeated trips to Moms house. " Not sure I want to tell her about the GPS in my car?

 

 

The thing is that there is no explanation for the facts. If I prove my point to her what is the outcome? We both lose.

Very disheartening! I can't see any good outcome?

 

 

And there's your out. In this situation, she'll lie and lie and when you try to break it off, she'll be the one blaming you for being overly suspicious etc trying to make you feel your being stupid, so bring out the trump card of your GPS map printout showing the car in Udon, then she'll know she's been caught out. You'll probably find she'll be a nasty bitch after being caught out, but hey, it'll go to show you that she's not worth it and make you feel better that you cut that crap from your life

[OneEyedPie]

10 hours ago, stevkob said:

Op you sound like a decent guy who has been caught by an experienced Thai woman. Your best outcome is to extract yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.

Thai women have an arsenal of weapons to try and hold onto their farang ATM machine including sex, threats, anger, bucket loads of crying and lying, etc etc and believe me when she realises her kids uni fees and her house is slipping away she will go all out to change your mind.

That is why you hear of many farang just disappearing in situations such as this.

You need to be a bit more proactive in finding out the truth, it means doing some in your face investigation into her life, check her phone, watch her movements, delve into who and what she is actually doing. Once you have the facts you will feel much better when you cut her out.

The first half of your post is extremely informative.

 

Your last two sentences are more contradictory, though.  The OP knows the gf is lying so why go to the trouble of further investigations and watching her.

 

You should have ended your post with:

 

10 hours ago, stevkob said:

That is why you hear of many farang just disappearing in situations such as this.

[bkkgriz]

On 11/26/2018 at 1:43 PM, onekoolguy said:

Unfortunately, I think you are right? 

I have been letting her use my new car. It has an anti theft gps devise. 

Gives complete map tracking. The other day she said she was in the hospital. But the car went on a three day trip to Ubon!

Mate, you are being played. You aren't the first. Sadly, I have some experience in this field. Nothing good will come of this. Sorry if it seems harsh, but that's just the way it is. PM me if you want some concrete examples.

[Gandtee]

On 11/26/2018 at 11:32 AM, onekoolguy said:

It just occurred to me that there is no mention what so ever about kids or husband on her facebook pages?

Only pictures of her and lots of trips.

Bailout while the goings good. It looks like you will be taken to the cleaners if you don't.

[The Cobra]

Dont proceed in denial, dont make excuses for her in your head, you know what needs to be done here, of course it will be painfull and you will have doubts for awhile to come as to whether you have done the right thing, thats all natural and normal, but you also know this cant continue.

[BritManToo]

Just wondered if OP has any evidence the girl really is employed and a nurse.

With all the lies, and time off, one has to wonder.

[connda]

On 11/26/2018 at 11:32 AM, onekoolguy said:

It just occurred to me that there is no mention what so ever about kids or husband on her facebook pages?

Only pictures of her and lots of trips.

Run Forrest, Run!!!

I can't abide liars.  Most Thais will lie to save face, or will modify the truth to put themselves in a better light.  But in your case it sounds like she's hiding something deeper.  Not a good way to start off a life-long relationship.  But if you really want to head down that path, hire a PI and have a background investigation done on her. 

[Stevemercer]

A genuine Thai lady wanting a genuine marriage would be presenting you to he friends, her children and family. For most of us it is a never ending game being dragged to family events, friend events, weddings, funerals and so forth. Most Thais are very active on FaceBook and her site should be plastered with picture of everyone she knows.

 

Is she's made no effort to introduce you to her family or social set then she is not genuine.

 

 

[onekoolguy]

20 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Just wondered if OP has any evidence the girl really is employed and a nurse.

With all the lies, and time off, one has to wonder.

Good question. I think she really is a nurse as most of her facebook friends on "one" of her pages are nurses. lots of photos. 12+ years she says. Now however she just works part time teaching nursing. She renewed her medical certificate recently, which I paid for of course. She has a couple of small businesses which are always short of funds and of course me.

[kensisaket]

That 3 day trip to Ubon should tell you everything you need to know.    

[onekoolguy]

6 minutes ago, Stevemercer said:

 

 

Is she's made no effort to introduce you to her family or social set then she is not genuine.

 

 

I met her mother one time. Her two kids and sister on a brief video chat. Never in person. Even offered to let her bring her kids to come spend time at my house near a beach and to take them to the water park etc. But it never happens? Never a mention about me or any guy in her facebook. But yesterday she did show me one photo of the two of us at an exclusive place in Los Angeles.  Only one of me in thousands of photos. Although no other guys at all.  1st time she ever let me look at her Instagram. But I never asked. So yes I am being hidden from her friends. Past facebook photos on her friends pages show her with a young Thai guy who I know, on various trips. She says just family friend but pictures are more than friends, haha. 

I know I have a problem and should get out. But She is unlike any previous GF! Painful!

[onekoolguy]

18 minutes ago, kensisaket said:

That 3 day trip to Ubon should tell you everything you need to know.    

I know, There is really no acceptable answer for that one!

 

[Mavideol]

17 minutes ago, onekoolguy said:

I know, There is really no acceptable answer for that one!

 

why are you in denial if all the evidence is in front of your eyes

[Lacessit]

32 minutes ago, onekoolguy said:

 

I know I have a problem and should get out. But She is unlike any previous GF! Painful!

Really? There are thousands of honest Thai women who are just looking for a good provider. Just as good if not better in the sack. Stop thinking with your dick.