An open letter to the ‘man’ who assaulted a waitress

By Tulsathit Taptim 
The Nation

 

 

Sir, after you slapped a waitress hard in the face, was it okay to “settle” the incident for Bt40,000?

 

In my opinion, it depends.

 

Yes, if you were acting in self-defence after she attacked you – in which case it might be proper to pay no settlement at all.

 

Yes, if it was in the heat of the moment, when you were quarrelling with the waitress and she provoked you to the point of losing it.

 But, no, it is not okay when the waitress was standing sombrely metres away, silent and not even looking at you, and it was you who moved toward her with ill intent.

 

No, it was not okay when the argument leading to the assault revolved around a restaurant rule that she was simply obeying. In effect, you slapped someone who was only doing her job, and politely it seems.

 

No, it was not okay – unless Bt40,000 means the world to you and losing it represents substantial punishment. But to a man in your position, Bt40,000 is small change.

 

No, it was not all right, because it sends the message to other wealthy people that they are free to assault less fortunate human beings safe in the knowledge they can “settle” with little more than the change in their pocket.

 

No, it was not all right, because you have shown no sign of remorse. Throwing stuff around after attacking her is one thing, (you were obviously drunk), but threatening to sue whoever released the CCTV footage of the slapping is another. If you were truly sorry, you wouldn’t be angry at the video’s poster; you would hate yourself.

 

If it were not for the security camera clip, you would have already forgotten that you slapped someone, hard, simply because she asked you to respect the non-smoking rule. Without the CCTV camera, the person on the wrong end of your dark temper would still be wondering what her fault was.

 

There is no CCTV record of exactly how she told you to put away the cigarette. Witnesses and the waitress herself said she did so humbly and with a friendly smile. You were the only one to claim that her manner was offensive, which was why you felt the need – in your own words – to teach her “a lesson”.

 

“Don’t you know who I am?” you reportedly asked. Were you saying that a man of your status can ignore the non-smoking law anytime and anywhere? Which you followed up by demonstrating that a man of your status can, anytime and anywhere, slap someone, hard, for simply asking you to respect the rules? 

 

The actions of the police are not your fault. You can’t be blamed for the policeman who was pictured smiling as he oversaw the “settlement” – as if he was doing something heroic. 

 

But you and the police are the products of the same faulty system, which considers Bt40,000 a just settlement in a case like this.

It does not matter whether or not the waitress is satisfied with the amount. She didn’t have much choice to begin with. And even if she is okay with the money, the point of paying damages is not just to satisfy the victim. More importantly, it should be a penalty that discourages the aggressor from repeating the violence in the future.

 

If the police think Bt40,000 is enough, why is the non-violent offence of drunk driving penalised by a similar-sized fine? Why is an action that can potentially harm others placed in the same category as an action that actually does harm others? 

 

You, sir, don’t have to answer this. Neither do you have to answer for human rights activists’ deafening silence on your case. Your assault was not political, and they have a funny habit of overlooking cases like yours, despite the fact that the dignity of the individual is at stake. If a person is assaulted for asking others to observe good, sensible rules, and nobody cares, we can simply flush any ideology down the toilet.

 

You only need to answer two simple questions: Is what you did wrong? If it is, have you done enough to address it?

 

The good news is that, despite everything mentioned above, money may be irrelevant if you are truly remorseful. One wrongdoer may pay Bt1 million and remain defiant, and another may respond with nothing but wholehearted regret. The difference between the two is huge, but there is still one other “type”: the one who pays a lot less and remains unrepentant.

 

Which category you choose defines your whole life.

 

Source: http://www.nationmultimedia.com/detail/opinion/tulsathit/30359414

 

-- © Copyright The Nation 2018-11-28

Like preaching to the choir, What the point of this "open letter"? we all know it was wrong, very wrong, and if anyone want to pan out an open letter for one person being done wrong, shouldn't that also include what the many, many other women, young and old being battered, abused, rapped and killed everyday around this country?...

Edited November 27, 20187 yr by ezzra

"...No, it was not all right, because it sends the message to other wealthy people that they are free to assault less fortunate human beings safe in the knowledge they can “settle” with little more than the change in their pocket..."

 

Spare us your righteous BS.

 

Wealthy people in Thailand have been acting like the are free to assault less fortunate human beings (and actually doing so) for ages; it is only because this made the papers that you speak.

 

Where were you all the other times?

 

Hypocrite.

 

40 minutes ago, ezzra said:

Like preaching to the choir, What the point of this "open letter"? we all know it was wrong, very wrong, and if anyone want to pan out an open letter for one person being done wrong, shouldn't that also include what the many, many other women, young and old being battered, abused, rapped and killed everyday around this country?...

 

39 minutes ago, Samui Bodoh said:

"...No, it was not all right, because it sends the message to other wealthy people that they are free to assault less fortunate human beings safe in the knowledge they can “settle” with little more than the change in their pocket..."

 

Spare us your righteous BS.

 

Wealthy people in Thailand have been acting like the are free to assault less fortunate human beings (and actually doing so) for ages; it is only because this made the papers that you speak.

 

Where were you all the other times?

 

Hypocrite.

 

Damned when they do or say something and damned when they do or say nothing.

 

What's wrong with you people?

Thailand may be developed phsycialy, with shinny new shopping centers, and sky scapers,but mentally ,sadly they are still stuck, in a dated society, and a fearful corrupt cycle of lawlessness and shamlessness....see ya at the mall

1 hour ago, webfact said:

Yes, if it was in the heat of the moment, when you were quarrelling with the waitress and she provoked you to the point of losing it

No, no. Still not at all okay. Especially not in a country where Buddhism is preached. Violence is never acceptable unless it’s self defense. 

 

Nonsense article. 

1 hour ago, webfact said:

Is what you did wrong?

morals here have exceptions, entitled people chief among them

1 hour ago, NanLaew said:

 

Damned when they do or say something and damned when they do or say nothing.

 

What's wrong with you people?

I agree.

 

It all has to start somewhere.

 

I hope that they published the same article(or something similar) in the Thai language press.

2 hours ago, webfact said:

Yes, if it was in the heat of the moment, when you were quarrelling with the waitress and she provoked you to the point of losing it.

 

I like this one... BS from my point of view... I have a hot temper yet I never lost it enough in 50 years to strike someone in a loss of it...

 

No excuse as far as I am concerned and no justification. The problem today, and yesterday, is that people lose it and the hitting, shooting and even wars start. Humans are shit in my book. I wish I were a rock.

Violence is the defaul response to everything.

When that fails, offer money.

Making merit is optional.

Just pretending to be a forgiving society.

 

The victim in this story must be commended for donating all the compensation to a hospital.

 

I doubt that article will be seen unless reproduced in a Thai language publication.

 

Another one with a "God" complex!

 

Give em position or rank and just as illustrated in all the Thai soaps/movies etc they think they can treat what they perceive to be "lower" people/positions however they like. WRONG ! 

 

But unfortunately that attitude is engrained into the culture and it will be many moons before its corrected. Certainly not in our ifetime, but lets hope its started, somewhere, and it takes root.Time will tell.

 

Writing about it in English here will do little if anything at all. ????

20 minutes ago, car720 said:

Seriously? 

This is the epitomy of self righteousness and glory seeking.

I am sure that nobody agrees with the act that was done but this is just self serving hyperbole.

I  Don't recall them (local media) saying it is wrong before. You have to start somewhere, stating this behavior is not right, and should not be tolerated. Saying the P's of the world have no right to slap nongs, is a START!     

Glad the word 'man' was in inverted commas.

1 hour ago, NanLaew said:

 

Damned when they do or say something and damned when they do or say nothing.

 

What's wrong with you people?

What's wrong? I have read Kh Taptim's articles for years. On the rare occasion when they aren't pure gibberish, I have never seen an article where he stood up for the proverbial little guy.

 

Would I believe Prayut if he published an article extolling Democracy?

Would I believe Prawit if he published an article extolling anti-corruption?

Would I believe Thaksin if he published an article extolling non-interference in an election?

Would I believe Suthep if he published an article extolling promise-keeping?

 

Do I believe Kh Taptim when he publishes an article extolling the proverbial little guy?

 

No. I would say "Hypocrites" all.

 

The problem here is not what is written, but who wrote it.

 

As Car720 so aptly put it above;

 

"This is the epitomy of self righteousness and glory seeking.

I am sure that nobody agrees with the act that was done but this is just self serving hyperbole..."

 

+1

 

It's going to take a hell of a lot more than an "Open letter",

to change the attitudes and actions of these "do you know who I am "

type people,they should never be allowed to get away with anything

because they offer recompense to their victims,nothing will start to

change until they face criminal charges,and are made an example of,

with prison time,fines will not deter them.BUT don't hold your breath.

regards worgeordie

2 hours ago, NanLaew said:

 

Damned when they do or say something and damned when they do or say nothing.

 

What's wrong with you people?

What's wrong is the letter justifies the assault if it was during an argument!! Which in turn justifies it to the rest of the population. There is no excuse for it unless you are defending yourself. 

I am always amazed how wealthy Thais think being a “good Buddhist” is by making good merit or in other words, donating huge amounts of baht to a temple which ( most likely) the money will be spent on some new building on the way- not to the needy. I do not care what “Khun Arrogant” does for good merit, his actions in public & how he treats ordinary people is the true sign of being a good Buddhist. 

Edited November 28, 20187 yr by toenail

The "hitter" is the epitome of Feudalism! And that is NOT going to change anytime soon. ????

 

So while we (those from modern progressive nations) rail against it, in the Kingdom the perceived rights of the powerful will be protected.

He slapped the waitress because of smoking law that higher ups in Thailand created; do they understand he was in fact insulting those higher ups and the laws they create because they inconvienince him

Well careful, careful,..... the influential culprit to whom it may concern doesn't speak or understand any English at all  

This character would be best served by some concrete therapy.  It would help him to learn a valuable lesson in life.  The 40k baht means nothing to him.  

2 hours ago, CharlieH said:

I doubt that article will be seen unless reproduced in a Thai language publication.

 

 

 

According to Wikipedia:

 

"The Nation and the ******* **** are similar in their coverage of international news. Their target audience is English-speaking Thai upper and upper-middle classes"

 

 

 

 

5 hours ago, webfact said:

But you and the police are the products of the same faulty system, which considers Bt40,000 a just settlement in a case like this.

It's the same faulty system where state prosecutors failed to do their job if a wealthy person can settle a criminal act with a civil fine.  He still committed a criminal act of assault and battery.  And yet, the state does not prosecute.  That is a faulty system.

 getting a conviction and copping a Fine = Paying the Bill

 

all this knrsol did was give a Tip

Someone else brought up the root cause in another post.

Sakdina:

"Sakdina was a system of social hierarchy in use from the Ayutthaya to early Rattanakosin periods of Thai history. It assigned a numerical rank to each person depending on their status, and served to determine their precedence in society, and especially among the nobility."

This system still lives today, unfortunately.

yeah... well this dude thinks he's at the top! - but he's still a Zero

the article is just a waste of good data space, it would have been sufficient to say - you were and probably still are an a rsehole, any further is superfluous. 

Edited November 28, 20187 yr by Artisi

Need to keep things in perspective here .

The guy just lost his temper , thats a human trait .

Not a good thing to do , but these things happen 

 

it's not about what happened under temper...

 

but what deliberately happened after he had recomposed himself...

1 minute ago, sanemax said:

Need to keep things in perspective here .

The guy just lost his temper , thats a human trait .

Not a good thing to do , but these things happen 

next time some one shoot his wife and kids, can it be used as his defence?