Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted May 2, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 2, 2019 Yes !! Why is that ?? 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 Gotta reach right to the back [emoji6] 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted May 2, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 2, 2019 Yup !! and it’s usually salad or spaghetti !! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 My new custom bike is finally ready !!I went with the 12 speed long frame !!Can’t wait to get this beauty out on the open road !! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted May 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2019 That reminds of the time I was on holiday in Mexico and I went to see a local magician.At the end of his act he said:“ I will now disappear, uno, dos....” and poof he disappeared without a tres ???? 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Dogs say the funniest things !! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted May 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2019 Wish I’d have thought of this !! 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted May 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2019 As Scottie is MIA here are a few really bad jokes just to make him jealous !! 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted May 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2019 28 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said: As Scottie is MIA here are a few really bad jokes just to make him jealous !! OK you b**gers win. I see you can't survive without me!!!!!!!???????? 2 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted May 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2019 Paddy goes on a first aid course. The instructor asks, "What would you do if your child swallowed the front door key?" Paddy said, "I'd climb in through the window." An old bloke hires a hitman to kill his wife of 40 years. The hitman says, "I'll shoot her just below her left tit." The husband replies, "I want her dead not bloody kneecapped!" 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted May 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2019 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted May 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2019 A man who took an airline to court after his luggage went missing... Has lost his case. I phoned my workplace in Scotland this morning and said, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today, I have a wee cough." He said, "You have a wee cough?" I said, "Really? Thanks boss, see you next week!" 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted May 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2019 The teacher asks Wee Jimmy if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says, "My daddy taught me. "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers Wee Jimmy. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers Wee Jimmy. "Very good," says the teacher, your father did a very fine job, what comes after ten?" "A jack," answers wee Jimmy. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted May 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2019 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted May 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2019 A man who took an airline to court after his luggage went missing... Has lost his case. I phoned my workplace in Scotland this morning and said, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today, I have a wee cough." He said, "You have a wee cough?" I said, "Really? Thanks boss, see you next week!" Tough people those north of the border !!Went into a bank in Glasgow and asked a cashier about opening a bank account.“ Far queue “ she replied !!Blooming charming I thought !! 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said: Tough people those north of the border !! This is why, not that I am boasting!! These guys would go into battle with just their bagpipes and their courage!! Edited May 3, 2019 by scottiejohn 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted May 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 3, 2019 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post VocalNeal Posted May 4, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 4, 2019 19 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said: Tough people those north of the border !! Went into a bank in Glasgow and asked a cashier about opening a bank account. “ Far queue “ she replied !! Blooming charming I thought !! A man asked how to cool his cold water tank but most of the replies were tepid. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 or maybe a Scottish one! (before you attack me) 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted May 4, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 4, 2019 (edited) We've just come back to CM from a holiday in Spain. My wife didn't really enjoy it, because everyone could speak English and all the food was like the stuff we eat back at home. She said, "Next time, I want to go somewhere where they eat weird stuff that no self respecting English person would ever touch and you can't understand a word they say." So I've just booked us a fortnight in Scotland. Edited May 4, 2019 by scottiejohn 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted May 4, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 4, 2019 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 Paddy gets stopped towing a horsebox on the motorway. Police ask, "Where you going?" I'm taking these horses to the races" Paddy says. "But its empty!?" said the copper. "I know" says Paddy "I'm taking the non runners first” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted May 4, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 4, 2019 I was rowing along the Caledonian Canal, when suddenly the Loch Ness Monster attacked and grabbed me from my boat so I panicked and shouted, "God help me” And suddenly the monster and everything around me just stopped. A voice from the heavens boomed, "In the past on many occasions I have heard you say that you don't believe in me, except when drunk when you talk about my son, but now you are asking for my help to save you, why now? I just looked up and said, "Well, ten seconds ago I didn't even believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!!" 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jvs Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 1 hour ago, scottiejohn said: From your many posts here i can tell you have a sick mind,i have a feeling we could get along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted May 4, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 4, 2019 (edited) Two antennae got married. The ceremony wasn't so good, but the reception was excellent. Two spiders got married. They met on the web. An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. My wife told me to go to the corner store and get a loaf of bread. As I walked out the door she yelled "and if they have eggs, get a dozen." They had eggs, so I came back with a dozen loaves of bread. Edited May 4, 2019 by ballpoint 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fasteddie Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
.thumb.jpg.bc523c85a8d558dbc282dca7a2e602c9.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now