Worst Joke Ever 2024

[roo860]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[ravip]

A wealthy aristocrat was hosting a party at his estate, which had been in his family for generations.  He noticed that one of his guests bore a striking resemblance to himself.

 

  He could not believe that such a similarity could exist with no genetic link, so guessing that his father had sown some wild oats, he approached the guest and asked with a smirk, "Was your mother ever a maid here?".  

The guest replied, "No, my father used to be the gardener."

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[ballpoint]

Comrades here is our fixture list :-

 

Russia v China
China v Russia
Russia v China
China v Russia
Russia v China
China v Russia
Russia v China
China v Russia
Russia v China
China v Russia

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

I met a dyslexic Yorkshire man this morning.
He was wearing a cat flap.

[ballpoint]

My mate from Liverpool phoned me and said his wife was making him sleep on the sofa tonight...
I feel sorry for the guy. It must be cold in the front garden.

[ballpoint]

I hate when people try to act all intellectual by talking about Mozart. 

I'll bet they've never even seen a single one of his paintings.

 

 

 

Edited March 9, 2022 by ballpoint

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[ballpoint]

My wife went missing for three days, so when I came home and found her in the kitchen I asked where the hell she had been.

She said 4 burly muscular men had kidnapped me and forced themselves on her for five days.

I said "but you were only gone for 3 days".

"Yes", she said.  "I've just popped home for something to eat".

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[ballpoint]

I went to Cash Converters today trying to raise much needed cash as I'm skint.
They gave me £3200 and they never even took the gun....

[ballpoint]

I've bought a book about Feng Shui, but I can't decide where to put it.

[ballpoint]

Apparently, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it's raining in Sweden.
How the hell am I meant to know when it's raining in Sweden?

[ballpoint]

Russian joke:
Moscow man buys newspaper, glances at front page, throws it straight out. Next day and day after, same.
Eventually, seller snaps:
‘Why you do that?’
‘I’m just checking for an obituary.’
‘But obituaries aren’t on the front page.’
‘The one I’m looking for will be

[ballpoint]

Me and my kids watched on as some of the monkeys were masturbating, others were groping each other, and there was lots of fighting and commotion.

My daughter said "daddy, I thought you were taking us to the zoo"
I said "yea I know, but I needed a pint, and Wetherspoons is the next best thing"

[overherebc]

[Crossy]

[Crossy]