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Posted
1 hour ago, Thailand said:

I have just one large black vinyl disc with a hole in the middle.

 

Is this a record?

Licorice Pizza?

 

1325332741_LicoricePizza.jpg.a1a2874e94d29aa970a1871868844a52.jpg 

Posted

Matthew saw Samuel his ex business partner begging on the street and invited him to get into his limousine. What happened to your  share of $15 million each of us received? Matthew asked? Samuel answered "Well, I bought a yacht for $5 mil and just as we were coming out of a fiord in Norway, hit an iceberg and it sank.  
Then I bought a jet and taking off from Manila the tires burst and it crashed. Decided to retire in Monaco with remaining $5 mil and met this gorgeous woman and got married. After 2 years and a divorce, she took off with my remaining $5 mil. And so, here I am! My god, Samuel. So what did you learn out of all this? Matthew asked? Samuel replied "If anything floats, flies or <deleted>, rent it! Don't buy it. 

  • Like 1
Posted
29 minutes ago, ravip said:

If anything floats, flies or <deleted>, rent it! Don't buy it. 

words to live by.

  • Like 1
Posted

I went around to my Grandads to take the dog out for a walk.
As I was about to go out he shouted "Don`t forget poo bags"
"Do I have to" I shouted back.
"Yes" shouted Grandad.
"Alright" I said -- "Come on Nana"

Posted

The last time I played darts in the pub, first arrow treble 20, second arrow single 20 and final dart straight through Sister Margaret's eye.

I got banned for shouting "One Nun Dead and Eighty!".

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

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