Worst Joke Ever 2024

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[DezLez]

28 minutes ago, Zyxel said:

You have to hand it to her as they all fell for it!

[VocalNeal]

^ Look Fritz, no Hans

[ballpoint]

33 minutes ago, DezLez said:

You have to hand it to her as they all fell for it!

She was just stringing them on, they should have learned the ropes by now. I wonder if she was a tie woman?

[ballpoint]

As I was passing a pet shop, I noticed a sign in the window next to a cat. It said Genuine Netherlands cat for sale.
I had my doubts, so I asked " How Dutch is that moggie in the window?"

[ballpoint]

Next time you're feeling down, remember life is all about perspective.
I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads two books a week,

yet every day he complains about how much he hates prison.

[ballpoint]

Did you know that the word "gullible" isn't actually in the dictionary?

It's true: look it up.

[ballpoint]

Pfizer have announced new Viagra eye drops.

They do nothing for your sex life, but they do make you look hard.

[ballpoint]

Man: "Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!"
Doctor: "That's the worst case of parking sons ever."

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar.
They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears.
Hundreds of cute little bears on a shelf all the way along the floor.
Cuddly medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The woman is a bit surprised that a man would have such a collection of teddy bears, especially one so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him and is actually quite impressed that he can so freely express his sensitive side.
She turns to him ... they kiss .... and then they rip each others clothes off and make hot steamy love.
After an intense night of passion with this sensitive man they are lying together in the afterglow, the woman leans in to him and whispers "Well, how was it?"
The man says "Not too bad, help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."

[ballpoint]

[tomazbodner]

1 hour ago, DezLez said:

You have to hand it to her as they all fell for it!

literally...

[ravip]

An Army Sniper goes to a Rifle shop to buy a new telescope for his Gun.

 

Manager takes out one & says:

 

 "This scope is so good, you can see my house one  km up on that hill."

 

The Sniper looks through the telescope & laughs:"I see a naked man and  a naked woman in your house."

 

Manager looks in the scope. He then gives two bullets to the sniper and says:

 "I'll give you this scope free, if you shoot my wife's head off and  the guy's Dick."

 

The Sniper looks through the scope again and says :

 

 "Well !! Now it seems like I can do that with one bullet !!!"

[DezLez]

5 hours ago, ballpoint said:

She was just stringing them on, they should have learned the ropes by now. I wonder if she was a tie woman?

If I was her I would have told them all to get knotted, but instead they failed to get roped in and strung along with her.

[ballpoint]

1 hour ago, DezLez said:

If I was her I would have told them all to get knotted, but instead they failed to get roped in and strung along with her.

But she did give them all the clap.

[tomazbodner]

Former President George W. Bush: “The decision of one man to launch a wholly unjustified and brutal invasion of Iraq. I mean of Ukraine. Cr@p. Anyway... 75..."

 

 

Edited May 19, 2022 by tomazbodner

[Crossy]

[Crossy]

 

Yup, it's a real product https://soylent.com/products/soylent-drink-mint-chocolate-1

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[dcsw53]