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Posted
On 12/13/2024 at 9:33 AM, ballpoint said:

Saw a bloke today beating the hell out of a scouring pad with a claw hammer.

I thought, "ah, that's the way to hammer brillo".

On that theme, a lady goes to the Doctors with a rather nasty red rash on her Lady parts. Doctor ask her which pads she uses and she replies Brillo.

"Well your'e a bright <deleted> aren't you"

Posted

An old classic.

Hundreds of years ago, King Arthur summoned the Knights of the Round Table for a meeting of great importance.

"I shall be vacationing abroad for a week or so. I expect you all to behave yourselves while I am gone".

There was a murmuring among those gathered, a look of disappointment on some of their faces.

He gave them all a stern look. They became quiet, all of them knowing that the King was serious. Deadly serious.

King Arthur dismissed the knights and they went to their various duties.

The king thought about his true love Gwyneviere and thought of how beautiful she was. However, she was a bit of a temptress and he wasn't sure if he could trust her, or his knights, for that matter.

He went to Merlin to seek advice.

"Dear Friend, I am going on a small vacation and I want to make sure Gwyneviere remains chaste while I am gone".

Merlin thought for a minute.

"Ah, I have just the thing!"

He opened a huge trunk and rummaged through it. He pulls out a small steel frame that resembles a woman's girdle, with razor sharp teeth around the crotch area.

"This oughta do it...", and he hands the thing to King Arthur.

"Make her wear this chastity belt while you are gone. It should keep her honest".

The king thanks Merlin and heads towards Gwyneviere's chamber.

King Arthur went on his vacation and a week later he returned to Camelot.

He summoned his knights to the Round Table.

"Ok, boys, drop your drawers!"

The knights obeyed and dropped their drawers to their knees.

Every knight had mutilated genitalia. All wore bandages.

Except Sir Galahad. His genitalia was uninjured. His meat and two vej were intact.

King Arthur's eyes lit up and he smiled.

"Sir Galahad, my one true friend, you have not betrayed your king. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Blrg rrrg ngh nyrrff erfff".

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