Worst Joke Ever 2024

[fangless]

 I am not complaining but the only letters I get are from my mother and even they are addressed ‘To whom it may concern’.

[fangless]

[fangless]

There was a fire at the Inland Revenue office in London last night, but unfortunatley it was put out before any serious good was done.

[fangless]

[fangless]

TODAY’s DAILY INSULT;

What do you use for contraception?

Your total lack of personality? 

[fangless]

[fangless]

Chat-up Line:- 

Even if there wasn’t any gravity on earth, I would still fall for you!

[fangless]

[billd766]

2 hours ago, fangless said:

Thank you from a Ford Ranger owner here in Thailand. When you are out walking could you please wear a target shirt and printed on the front should be fangless and on the back it should read "It's me". I would hate to have a brake failure with the wrong person.                ???? 

[fangless]

59 minutes ago, billd766 said:

Thank you from a Ford Ranger owner here in Thailand. When you are out walking could you please wear a target shirt and printed on the front should be fangless and on the back it should read "It's me". I would hate to have a brake failure with the wrong person.                ???? 

Have you no gumption or as In your case has it broken into your mind that  "FORD" could stand for "Failure Of Ranger Driver" who bites off more than he can chew by attacking a toothless stranger! Suck on that and see if it bites your bum!

 

PS; Since Ford's brakes break all the time could you give us all a break by not driving your broken down breaking-less vehicle at breakneck speeds and breaking my peace!  Assuming of course you can actually get it to start!

????

Edited December 30, 2021 by fangless

[fangless]

10 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Just neck exercise for men?

[fangless]

9 hours ago, xylophone said:

Throckmorton knew that when he passed wind in the echo chamber, he'd never hear the last of it.

I'm sure I've heard this before on multiple occasions or am I just repeating myself!

[chickenslegs]

 

[chickenslegs]

 

[LeungKen]

Edited December 30, 2021 by LeungKen

[roo860]

[roo860]

[ballpoint]

15 hours ago, fangless said:

West London police wish to alert local residents about the activities of the infamous cross-eyed burglar. If you see this man staring in your windows, warn the people next door.

To be fair, he was only driven to burglary after he lost his job as a teacher because he couldn't control his pupils.

[ballpoint]

15 hours ago, fangless said:

On reflection, your wife is bananas.

[ballpoint]

For how long do you need to be ignorant before you start experiencing bliss?

[ballpoint]

A mate of mine was a big fan of the Doppler Effect.
But he soon changed his tune when he ran past me.

[ballpoint]

Anyone else feeling optimistic about 2022? I am. I was at the gym this morning and got chatting to an attractive <deleted>. I asked her if she had any New Years resolutions. She said “**** you”

2022s going to be alright!

[ballpoint]

My wife asked for clothes for Christmas.
She said, "Don't forget, size 12"
She hasn't said anything, but from the look on her face,
I don't think she likes her shoes

[ballpoint]

Molestation (noun) - Facility used by moles wishing to travel by public transport.

[ballpoint]

You need to know lots to be an auctioneer.

[ballpoint]

Superlatives are the best thing in the world.

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]