Worst Joke Ever 2024

Crossy · June 7, 2023

Crossy · June 7, 2023

When I was a kid, cartoons led me to think quicksand was much more common than what it is. What misconceptions did children's shows lead you to believe? Please add your own ????

There's a mail-order company called ACME from which you can purchase everything from a thermonuclear device to birdseed and that delivers to a roadside in the Sonoran Desert — no physical address required.
It's not uncommon for a burrowing rabbit to become so entirely disoriented as to wind up miles from its intended destination (a phenomena commonly referred to as “Left Turn at Albuquerque" Syndrome).
If a hunter fires a shotgun at a duck, its feathers will be singed and its bill will slip off center like a dislocated goalie mask; conversely, if the duck manages to turn the tables and shoot the hunter, his face will get powder burns and his trapper cap knocked askew — neither is ever seriously injured for more than a few frames.
Leghorn roosters are patronizing and overly voluble.
Striped skunks lack self-awareness and are sexually aggressive.
Mice are prone to racial stereotype.
That's All, Folks

Crossy · June 7, 2023

A ten year old kid dragging a dead frog on a string behind him walks into a brothel. He walks up to the madam, slaps a hundred dollar bill down on the table in front of her, and says, “I want a woman.”

The madam says, “You're kind of young for this, aren't you?”

The kid slaps down another hundred dollar bill and repeats, “I WANT A WOMAN “

The madam says, “OK, OK, have a seat and someone will be with you shortly.”

He slaps down another hundred dollar bill. “I want a woman NOW.”

The madam says, “Sure, I'll get someone right away.”

The kid says, “One more thing: she has to have active herpes.”

The madam says, “Are you nuts?”

The kid slaps down another hundred dollar bill and says, “ACTIVE HERPES.”

So a hooker comes out and the kid follows her back upstairs, still dragging the dead frog on a string behind him. Three minutes later he comes back out and the madam says, “I have to know what this is all about.”

The kid says, “When I get home, I'm gonna have sex with the babysitter. Then, when my parents get back from their party, my dad will drive the babysitter home and they'll have sex along the way. When he gets back, he'll have sex with my mom, and tomorrow, when my dad goes to work, my mom will have sex with the mailman… AND HE'S THE BASTARD WHO RAN OVER MY FROG!”

ballpoint · June 7, 2023

1 hour ago, Crossy said:

When I was a kid, cartoons led me to think quicksand was much more common than what it is. What misconceptions did children's shows lead you to believe? Please add your own ????

There's a mail-order company called ACME from which you can purchase everything from a thermonuclear device to birdseed and that delivers to a roadside in the Sonoran Desert — no physical address required.

It's not uncommon for a burrowing rabbit to become so entirely disoriented as to wind up miles from its intended destination (a phenomena commonly referred to as “Left Turn at Albuquerque" Syndrome).

If a hunter fires a shotgun at a duck, its feathers will be singed and its bill will slip off center like a dislocated goalie mask; conversely, if the duck manages to turn the tables and shoot the hunter, his face will get powder burns and his trapper cap knocked askew — neither is ever seriously injured for more than a few frames.

Leghorn roosters are patronizing and overly voluble.

Striped skunks lack self-awareness and are sexually aggressive.

Mice are prone to racial stereotype.

That's All, Folks

If you run off a cliff, you'll keep on running until you look down and realise where you are.

Crossy · June 7, 2023

They just don't make ads like this any longer, they were often better than the programmes!

metisdead · June 7, 2023

A post with a video containing profane language has been removed:

8. You will not post vulgarities, obscenities or profanities.

MJCM · June 7, 2023

4 minutes ago, metisdead said:

A post with a video containing profane language has been removed:

8. You will not post vulgarities, obscenities or profanities.

:sorry: