Popular Post ravip Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 When you make a suicide pact with someone, NEVER offer to go first. Trust me. I’ve done like five of them. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 Son of a… A birch tree and a beech tree stood next to each other in the woods. They were tall old trees, and usually got on quite well. One day they noticed a little sapling between them, far below. The birch noticed first and said “Hey beech! Check out that little son of a birch down there!” The beech tree retorts, “That isn’t a son of a birch. That is clearly a son of a beech!” They argue for some time until a small woodpecker lands nearby. The trees see this as a chance to settle their argument. “Hey woodpecker,” asks the beech, “You must be somewhat of an authority on trees. Do you see that sapling down there? This birch, here thinks that it’s a son of a birch, while I maintain that it is a son of a beech. Would you please go check it out and let us know?” So the woodpecker agrees and flies down, checks out the sapling, and returns. “SO?!” Cry the trees in unison, each eager to prove the other wrong. “Well,” replies the woodpecker, “that sapling is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, but I’ll tell you what. That is the best damn piece of ash I’ve ever stuck my pecker in.” 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post sanuk711 Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 It's Tough Being British.......... 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravip Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 Bad news. I got fired from my job at the bank today. I mean, it was an easy mistake... An elderly woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 How many beans does it take to make Irish bean soup? 239. Because one more would make it too farty 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravip Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 Pharmacist: May I help you, sir? Customer: Yes... I, uh... well, this is sort of embarrassing, but I'm going out on a date tonight and, you know, I need some... Pharmacist: Protection? Customer: Right. Pharmacist: Small, medium or large? Customer: Uhhhh... Medium, I guess. Pharmacist: Okay, that'll be $2.35 including tax. Customer: Tacks?! I thought they stayed on by themselves! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 1 hour ago, sanuk711 said: Rubbish! ???? I was going to say it went out half as often as you as you had to gout out twice, once to put it out and once to bring it in. Then I remembered you have a wife to do that! PS; I have a vivid imagination! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 33 minutes ago, ravip said: I couldn't hold a candle to man of your talents! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 37 minutes ago, ravip said: How many beans does it take to make Irish bean soup? 239. Because one more would make it too farty Do the Irish make that in stink? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 43 minutes ago, sanuk711 said: It's Tough Being British......... Yes it is an onerous task but somebody has to do it after all old chap! Keep up the good work, that's a good fellow. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 1 hour ago, sanuk711 said: Cause there is nobody left to boss about! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 1 hour ago, sanuk711 said: Ryanair at it's best! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 1 hour ago, sanuk711 said: I'm not so sure he is sure what he is protesting against, or supporting - he seems too middle of the road to be outspoken. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, sanuk711 said: . No! On yer bike! Edited August 28, 2021 by fangless 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 1 hour ago, sanuk711 said: . EXTRA PROMOTIONS; 1. Indicate you have COVID19 and get upgraded to 5 star accommodation free of charge ; 2. Free Primary School education - must have full beard! 3. Claim Religious discrimination and ask for anything you want! No questions asked! 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post sanuk711 Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post sanuk711 Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post sanuk711 Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 9 minutes ago, sanuk711 said: Jesus! No! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fangless Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 3 minutes ago, ballpoint said: Jesus! No! God help us! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 2 minutes ago, ballpoint said: I do like sucking up to them and pawing them. Do you think I can take them for a walk in my bed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 Just now, ballpoint said: At 69% is that you turning everything around to get the most satisfaction out of your cleaning regime? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post ballpoint Posted August 28, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted August 28, 2021 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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