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Posted
2 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

When my wife was giving birth to our daughter, the midwife said, ‘What about epidural anaesthesia?’

I said ‘We already picked names, thanks!’

I would have been numbed by the suggestion!

  • Like 1
Posted
Just now, ballpoint said:

A large oil company has announced they are going to start producing sustainable fuel from insect urine.
I think it's BP.

The new Buzz Phrase!

  • Like 1
Posted
3 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

A study has shown that 47396486 people can't be bothered to read long numbers.
You're one of those people, aren't you?

I don't think so as I count as two of them as I have a split personality!

  • Like 1
Posted
9 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he can annoy the French for the rest of his life.

Can you drop me a line to let me know where did you trawl that one from?

  • Like 1
Posted
19 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I bought a beautiful jumper from a factory seconds outlet.

You’d never notice, but one of the sleeves is slightly longer than the other two.

If the jumper has got three outlets for your arms why is it called a seconds outlet?

 

PS did they charge you 33% more for the extra outlet?

  • Like 1
Posted
32 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

The only people with clean minds are those who have been brainwashed.

Is that why you don't do dirty jokes then?

  • Like 1

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