Popular Post ballpoint Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 Travelling through deepest, darkest Africa with my faithful porters, we entered a clearing. There were broken eggshells everywhere. “this was obviously the work of poachers,” I said. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he can annoy the French for the rest of his life. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 When my wife was giving birth to our daughter, the midwife said, ‘What about epidural anaesthesia?’ I said ‘We already picked names, thanks!’ 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 A study has shown that 47396486 people can't be bothered to read long numbers. You're one of those people, aren't you? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 A large oil company has announced they are going to start producing sustainable fuel from insect urine. I think it's BP. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 My friend couldn’t afford to pay his water bill. So I sent him a “Get Well Soon” card. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 2 minutes ago, ballpoint said: When my wife was giving birth to our daughter, the midwife said, ‘What about epidural anaesthesia?’ I said ‘We already picked names, thanks!’ I would have been numbed by the suggestion! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 Just now, ballpoint said: A large oil company has announced they are going to start producing sustainable fuel from insect urine. I think it's BP. The new Buzz Phrase! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 The news said a man who was arrested for dropping bricks off a multi-storey car park. I thought that was wrong on so many levels. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 Noah Webster produced the first dictionary that included American spellings of words. Or, as they're known in Britain, mistakes. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 My 1st wife left me because of my obsession with Transformers. I told her I could change. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 3 minutes ago, ballpoint said: A study has shown that 47396486 people can't be bothered to read long numbers. You're one of those people, aren't you? I don't think so as I count as two of them as I have a split personality! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 9 minutes ago, ballpoint said: Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he can annoy the French for the rest of his life. Can you drop me a line to let me know where did you trawl that one from? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 15 minutes ago, ballpoint said: A word is worth 1/1000th of a picture. Not in scrabble! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 19 minutes ago, ballpoint said: I bought a beautiful jumper from a factory seconds outlet. You’d never notice, but one of the sleeves is slightly longer than the other two. If the jumper has got three outlets for your arms why is it called a seconds outlet? PS did they charge you 33% more for the extra outlet? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 32 minutes ago, ballpoint said: The only people with clean minds are those who have been brainwashed. Is that why you don't do dirty jokes then? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fangless Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 43 minutes ago, roo860 said: Some blokes get all the luck! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 I've had a terrible morning. I woke up to find someone had used a crayon to write "weirdo" on my car in big letters. Took me hours to lick it off. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chickenslegs Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 38 minutes ago, ballpoint said: My 1st wife left me because of my obsession with Transformers. I told her I could change. You should step down after that shocker! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ravip Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 *A list of STRENUOUS ACTIVITIES that do not require too much PHYSICAL EFFORT...* 01) Beating around the bush. 02) Jumping to conclusions... 03) Climbing up the wall... 04) Swallowing your pride... 05) Passing the buck... 06) Throwing your weight around... 07) Dragging your heels... 08) Pushing your luck... 09) Making mountains out of molehills... 10) Hitting the nail on the head... 11) Wading through paperwork... 12) Bending over backwards... 13) Jumping on the bandwagon... 14) Balancing the books... 15) Running around in circles... 16) Eating crow... 17) Blowing your own horn... 18) Climbing the ladder of success... 19) Pulling out all stops... 20) Adding fuel to the fire... 21) Opening a can of worms... 22) Putting your foot in your mouth... 23) Setting the ball rolling... 24) Going over the edge... 25) Picking up the pieces... *Whew!* *That is some workout!* *Now SIT DOWN, and...* 26) *Exercise Caution!* 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post billd766 Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 13 hours ago, fangless said: Fair is fair but what colour are your other bits? PS; Not that I am getting personal!!!! Off white to light brown, depending on if the sun is shining. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 3 hours ago, billd766 said: Off white to light brown, depending on if the sun is shining. Out of it, or on it? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roo860 Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 2 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roo860 Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 ???????? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roo860 Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post billd766 Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 3 hours ago, ballpoint said: Out of it, or on it? When the sun has got his hat on is the time and place. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post sanuk711 Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 3 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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