Worst Joke Ever 2025

[billd766]

2 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Not guilty !!

( if it works out for you billd766 and she has a sister............Shotgun !! )

You should meet some of the Valley Commandos i used to see back in the 1970s at the camp dances in South Wales.

 

Easy to spot as they had clean pit boots, miners helmets, vultures and not canaries on their shoulder. 3 pints of Brains SA (skull attack) in each hand. When they told you to dance, you danced or else. Brains beer made from the finest river Taff water from Tiger Bay.

 

I remember seeing one pick up a stroppy kit one handed and bitch slapped him with the other hand. She never raised a sweat.

[scottiejohn]

23 hours ago, WorriedNoodle said:

Would some people describe that as a "bummer" advert for a gay store, or just a c*ckup sign?

 

Or maybe they are just selling boxing shorts!

[scottiejohn]

40 minutes ago, billd766 said:

I am still only a 2 finger typer.

Yes your (ex)girlfriend told me all about that!

 

PS; Please don't respond with "up you(r'es two)" and "two fingers to you two"!

[ballpoint]

Dont make fun of fat people, they have enough on their plates.

 

The good thing about life is that even if you’re <deleted> at it, you’re guaranteed at least two certificates.

 

My marriage is like a pack of cards, first it was all hearts and diamonds..

Now I'm after a club and a spade!

[Andrew Dwyer]

Has anyone ever noticed that the 7 eleven sign is written in all Capital letters except for the “ n “ !!




And if you have noticed it before........
.........Get a Life !!

[Andrew Dwyer]

Have you ever noticed that there’s a bear in the Toblerone logo ??



And if you have noticed.........





........Well done !! [emoji1319][emoji1319]

[Andrew Dwyer]

Strange but true !!

Disney studios sometimes cut corners by using the same background in their animations !!




Don’t thank me..............

.........well maybe blank cheque in the mail .?

[Andrew Dwyer]

Even stranger but true !!

It’s possible to buy a piano for even the smallest of rooms !!



I have a Steinway in the downstairs loo !!

( that’s what i call it anyway )

[Andrew Dwyer]

These Ad guys were certainly having a private joke here !!





The 2nd one is an ad for bowling in case you were wondering !!

[Andrew Dwyer]

And finally !! ( thank buddha i hear you say )

This probably seems like a good prank to pull on your girlfriend ??




Hope you like hospital food !!

[chickenslegs]

[chickenslegs]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[billd766]

17 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

Yes your (ex)girlfriend told me all about that!

 

PS; Please don't respond with "up you(r'es two)" and "two fingers to you two"!

Which ex girlfriend was that? There are so many from my younger days until I remarried the second time. I get the odd reminder from SWMBO as she uses the meat cleaver on some innocent chickens still thinking about why we got rid of the ducks.

[PETERTHEEATER]

My sister-in-law has got a cat that's a qualified blacksmith. Last night I kicked it in the balls and it made a bolt for the door.

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

How do you make a skeleton laugh? 
Tickle his funny bone.

Where did the ghost go on holiday? 
The Boohamas.

How can you tell that vampires love baseball? 
They turn into bats every night.

Where does Dracula keep his money? 
In a blood bank.
 

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

What do mummies listen to on Halloween? 
Wrap music.

Why didn't the skeleton go to prom? 
He had no body to go with.

Why did the ghost go into the bar? 
For the boos.

What’s a ghost’s favourite dessert? 
I scream.
 

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

What happened to the man who didn't pay his exorcist? 
His house was repossessed.

 

Where do baby ghosts go during the day? 
Dayscare centres.

 

What do birds say on Halloween? 
Twick or tweet.

 

What is a witch's favourite class? 
Spelling.
 

[scottiejohn]

[WorriedNoodle]

[scottiejohn]

[Andrew Dwyer]

Yes !!
Just pure laziness !!

[chickenslegs]

5 hours ago, WorriedNoodle said:

Took a while to realise it's "Andy Clap".

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[Andrew Dwyer]