Worst Joke Ever 2025

[roo860]

Yes 

[roo860]

[ballpoint]

1 hour ago, fangless said:

It's OK they are stuck in the gravy train!

That's not what I heard, but I'm not going to stew over it.  Your sauce is probably better than mine.

[fangless]

42 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

That's not what I heard, but I'm not going to stew over it.  Your sauce is probably better than mine.

That cuts the mustard for me without you having to mince your words!

Since it is near halloween did you want the addatives to stir up  your goulash?

[Crossy]

[ballpoint]

44 minutes ago, fangless said:

That cuts the mustard for me without you having to mince your words!

Since it is near halloween did you want the addatives to stir up  your goulash?

I heard that halloween is the real reason for the Oxo cube shortage. A billionaire bought the whole boat load and dumped them on an old grave.  The plot thickens.

[fangless]

8 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I heard that halloween is the real reason for the Oxo cube shortage. A billionaire bought the whole boat load and dumped them on an old grave.  The plot thickens.

That brings a lump or two to the old throat so I better not stir things up any more as that would be tasteless, just like your meal without OXO!

 

PS; was it a spelling mistake with the billionaire above rather than Bullion-aire?

[fangless]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[fasteddie]

[roo860]

Pull off here.

[roo860]

[roo860]

[fangless]

Just now, roo860 said:

Pull off here.

I hope there is a hard shoulder and layby or similar!

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[ballpoint]

A white haired man walked into a jewellery shop one Friday evening with a beautiful blonde on his arm and told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.  The jeweller checked his stock and brought out a £1,500 ring.  The old man said he would like to see something more special, so the jeweller returned with a £20,000 ring, which made the young lady's eyes light up.  Seeing this, the old man said 'we'll take it'.
It was agreed he would pay by cheque and return on Monday afternoon to collect the ring once the bank verified funds.
On Monday morning the jeweller phoned the old man and told him there's no money in that account.

The old man said 'I know, but let me tell you about my weekend'!

[ballpoint]

I was picking up dog poo in the park this morning and thought to myself...

I should really get a dog!

[ballpoint]

Whilst on a ladder putting a cinema poster up, a lady came up to me and asked,

"Is King Kong coming?"

I said, "No it's just the paste off my brush!"

[ballpoint]

I don't know what they are teaching kids at school these days…

Half can't read, half can't write, and the other half can't add!

[ballpoint]

I went to get the playing cards out earlier and found that my wife had super glued them all together.

I thought ‘I can’t deal with this’.

[ballpoint]

I saw a bloke by the shops dressed as Henry VIII.

He was sitting in the doorway asking people for money.

I thought, that can't be right - Beggars can't be Tudors?

[ballpoint]

My mate had two watches stolen from his hotel room in Spain…

Adios Omegas!

[ballpoint]

I've started a business selling prayer mats which double as trampolines.

Prophets are going through the roof!