6 hours ago, Zyxel said:

First i only saw the top picture,now i see the second one.

Wrong jar,i was thinking wrong something else!

I started playing for a new football team this weekend. The manager said "I'm going to put you up front to begin with and then I'll pull you off at half time".

"That's very nice of you" I said. "My last Manager just used to give us an orange.

Crossword competition in the Irish post:
£500 for the first correct entry sent in to our office.
For those of you just doing it for fun, the answers are on page 26 as usual.

Since The Doctor put my wife on her new tablets we have had sex every night.
Seems nothing wakes her.

The missus told me to chip the cat.
I could only find a nine iron, but still managed to get it over the shed.