AN INDIAN SPEACH IMPEDIMENT?

 

Once upon a time there were three Red Indian squaws.

One of them sat outside her wigwam on a leopard skin.

Another sat outside her wigwam on a doe skin.

The third sat outside her wigwam on a hippopotamus skin.

The squaw who was sitting on the leopard skin had just one son.

The squaw on the doe skin had just one son too.

But the third squaw, the one sitting on the hippopotamus skin, had twin boys.

 

This all goes to prove that the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides!
 

A man went to a psychiatrist for his phobia. 

 
"Doctor" he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think  there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on  top of it. Top, under, top, under. You've really got to help me, I'm going crazy! I just cannot get any sleep!"  
"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the Harley Street shrink, "Come to me  three times a week, and I'll cure your phobia."  
"How much do you charge?"  
"£100 per visit."  
"I'll try to sleep on it," said the Scotsman in disgust.  
Six months later the doctor met the man on the street.  
"Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.  
"For £100 a visit? A hairdresser cured me for the cost of a haircut -£10!"  
"Is that so! How?" 
 
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" 
 

mow the kitchen!

but what did you notice first?

On 1/27/2020 at 12:24 PM, Seth1a2a said:

 

On 1/27/2020 at 12:24 PM, Seth1a2a said:

 

what is worse than a worst joke?

 

 

reality can be stranger than fiction...

 

 

Aimeejo Madge, 28, took her luxury white 4×4 to be fixed after she was rear-finished in a four car pile up. Right after waiting around six weeks Pass up Madge drove her substantially-beloved motor back to her residence in Cardiff in which she recognized the embarrassing blunder

 

 

 

Most people have 32 teeth.  Some only have 10.
It's simple meths!

If your crystal meth dealer has all their teeth,

beware,

they're probably the police!

 

While sitting on the deck of the course bar after a round of golf, Bill is hit in the head with an errant drive. By the time the offending golfer finds him, Bill is already angry and holding an ice pack to his head.
"I'm so sorry!" the golfer says. "It just got away from me!"
"You'll be more than sorry!" Bill yells. "I'm going to sue you for $5 million for your carelessness."
"I yelled 'fore,'" the golfer explains.
"Fine," Bill answered. "I'll take four, $4million."
 

At the movie theater, a girl returning to her seat taps the shoulder of the man in the aisle seat in the row.
"Excuse me," she says,

"but did I step on your toe on the way to the bathroom?"
"As a matter of fact, you did," says the man, expecting an apology.
"Oh good," says the girl,

 

"then this must be my row."
 

 

or is it a riddle?

 

 

Love Line

Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table.

Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."

Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend."

"That's true," said Paul.

"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"

"Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"

"Love line?

 

No, just from the calluses and blisters."

A young couple were making passionate love in the guy's van when suddenly the girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out. "Oh bigboy, whip me, whip me!"

The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip the girl until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy.

About a week later, the girl notices that the marks left by the whipping session are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.

The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks. "Did you get these marks having sex?"

The girl is a little embarrassed but admits that, yes, she did.

Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims. "I thought so, because in all my years of doctoring......

Wait for it......
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You've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen."