A man and his blond wife were watching the news when a story came on about a plane crash.

The news anchor said that six Brazilian soccer players were on the plane and none of them survived. The wife started crying uncontrollably. The man was very concerned and asked his wife why she was so upset.

 

She replied, "I don't know how many a brazillion is, but it sure sounds like a lot!"

8 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

A man and his blond wife were watching the news when a story came on about a plane crash.

The news anchor said that six Brazilian soccer players were on the plane and none of them survived. The wife started crying uncontrollably. The man was very concerned and asked his wife why she was so upset.

 

She replied, "I don't know how many a brazillion is, but it sure sounds like a lot!"

Pete Hegseth is giving the Trump his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

 

"OH NO!" the Trump exclaims. "That's terrible!"

 

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, Trump looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

"Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.

 

One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

 

One of the others said, "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics."

 

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States.""

""After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

 

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:

370HSSV-0773H

 

Bush was baffled, so he E-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

 

No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.

 

With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help. Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply:

 

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down.""