what do you call a blind deer?

 

-no idea

 

what do you call a blind deer with no legs?

 

-still no idea

A man walks into a restaurant, peruses the menu and says to the waiter-

“I’d like two chicken Pissoles please”

”I’m sorry Sir, that’s a spelling mistake it should be an R”

”Oh, OK, I’ll have two chicken Rssoles then please”

I went to a fish restaurant last night and ordered the Octopus.

The waiter said: "It takes 4 hours to cook."
I said: "Why?"
He said: "Because it keeps turning the gas off."

Play golf? You ever hit Nicola Sturgeon?

 

Golf is for male sexist pigs, according to a recent paper (no, seriously): “How Men Use Symbolic Masculinity to Network Through Golf” (https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.13271).

 

Golfers really should be ashamed of themselves! Sociologist joins a bunch of Geordie golfers for a round and earwigs their banter:

 

“The flight path of golf balls and golf challenges they faced were ... given names rooted in heteronormative and misogynistic language. [t]he men developed their own jargon based around the sport. I observed shots being referred to as a

 

PHILIP SCHOFIELD: a shot that appeared “to be straight but ended up being ‘bent’”

 

SALLY GUNNELL: an ugly little runner

 

NICOLA STURGEON: to describe “a nasty little five-footer”.

 

Report goes on forever, berating these nasty men. It was “supported by National Innovation Centre for Rural Enterprise and Research England.”

28 minutes ago, Zyxel said:

Than just listen to this!