Why aren't there any Irish lawyers,,,, because they cant pass a bar!!

My favorite

A businessman goes to Japan for a meeting for the first time.

That night he goes out and picks up a girl. They go back to the hotel and while going at she keeps yelling "machigatta ana" "machigatta ana" t

he guy thinks this must mean good or great!

Next day he's out playing golf with the Japanese partners. It's the 4th hole and a Par 3, He tees off and hits a hole in one, he yells out "machigatta ana"

They look at him and say "No, that's the right hole"

Well played, Lego...

Police are investigating an incident where several people have been stabbed in the bum with knitting needles.

They believe the attacker is following a pattern.

What with price of fuel these days, I thought I'd do a runner from the garage.

So I put in £50 worth and drove off without paying.

Got caught though.

I ran out before I left the forecourt.

This bloke came up to me and shouted in my face"Buster Bloodvessel is 5ft 8, Martin Stevens is 5ft 10, and Andrew Marson is 6ft!"

I thought 'that's the height of Bad Manners!'

Crimewatch:

48 year old shopkeeper Javed Ali was brutally stabbed, and after 2 weeks lying in a coma in hospital his family decided they had to make the agonising decision...

They decided to shut the shop and go visit him.

My wife said if you’re bored, why don’t you make a bird table.

Now she’s fuming because I’ve put her in fifth place.

11 hours ago, still kicking said:

Get retribution for what?

16 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

This bloke came up to me and shouted in my face"Buster Bloodvessel is 5ft 8, Martin Stevens is 5ft 10, and Andrew Marson is 6ft!"

I thought 'that's the height of Bad Manners!'

Buster Bloodvessel was initially on the Magical Mystery Tour coach.

Whoever put the Thumbs Down needs to do some research.

Ivor Cutler played the part, name given by John Lennon, from whom Douglas Trendle of Bad Manners took his name.

Yeh, very intelligent to put another Thumbs Down to something perfectly true.

Edited May 9May 9 by wil iam not

52 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

That is what my mother used to do while knitting.

24 minutes ago, wil iam not said:

Whoever put the Thumbs Down needs to do some research.

As this is a jokes thread one assumes the negative reaction is due to the quality of the joke not the validity of the facts.

3 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

As this is a jokes thread one assumes the negative reaction is due to the quality of the joke not the validity of the facts.

Yeh OK, I submit.