8 hours ago, ballpoint said:

This bloke came up to me and shouted in my face"Buster Bloodvessel is 5ft 8, Martin Stevens is 5ft 10, and Andrew Marson is 6ft!"

I thought 'that's the height of Bad Manners!'

I think you'll find it's Martin Stewart not Stevens Bad Manners - Wikipedia

Inspired by @ballpoint

Q: What's the first sign of madness?

A: Suggs walking up your front path

two way off topic not jokes posts removed.

5 hours ago, VBF said:

I think you'll find it's Martin Stewart not Stevens Bad Manners - Wikipedia

And whoever downvoted that is basically ignoring facts!

What ARE you like? ☠️

I've been trying to book a Native American restaurant for my wife and I.

But I'm having trouble finding a reservation.

A bloke bumped in to me on the bus the other day and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Then the same fella followed me home from the pub and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Things then got out of hand when he tapped on my window at 11.30 that night and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

I thought, "That's it, I'm going to the Police."

I told the officer I was being stalked and he asked if I could tell him anything about the man.

I said, "Yes, he reminds me of Leonardo Di Caprio."

A guy walks into a bar and hollers, "Hey! You wanna hear a Reform joke?!?"

In a hushed voice the guy next to him says, "Hey man..before you tell that joke you should know something. The bartender and the bouncer are Reform. His giant Rugby buddy is Reform. The off-duty policeman is Reform, I'm Reform and your barmaid is too. Now, are you SURE you want to tell that joke?"

The guy hesitates and then replies, "Nope, not if I'm gonna have to explain it six times."

My wife left me because I'm insecure.

No, wait, she's back. She just went to get a coffee.

What do you call a magician who's lost his magic?

Ian.

Did you hear Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder had a charity tennis match?

It was endless love.

3 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Did you hear Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder had a charity tennis match?

It was endless love.

I didn't see it, and neither did they

10 hours ago, VBF said:

And whoever downvoted that is basically ignoring facts!

What ARE you like? ☠️

23 hours ago, VocalNeal said:

As this is a jokes thread one assumes the negative reaction is due to the quality of the joke not the validity of the facts.

So if they're using Aliens to distract us from the Epstein Files,

is this technically Alien vs. Predator?

Edited May 10May 10 by BLMFem