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Moderators Notice.

 

 

Whilst we appreciate the majority of users here may be adults, the forum is accessible to everyone. Please ensure that any content you post is therefore suitable for ALL ages and do not post "Adult Only" content. This includes not to post videos or images containing profane language.   It will be removed and the poster may face a suspension.

 

8.) You will not post disruptive or inflammatory messages, vulgarities, obscenities or profanities.

 

 

Thank you for your co- operation.

Oldies retake....

 

Name four animals that are indigenous to the Arctic

 

Three polar bears and a seal.

Whilst living on a house boat, I fell madly in love with my neighbour, a beautiful and vivacious woman.

Sadly we drifted apart 

Since there are a lot of people on here speaking different languages

how a bout some lessons in a foreign language?

 

34 minutes ago, bannork said:

Whilst living on a house boat, I fell madly in love with my neighbour, a beautiful and vivacious woman.

Sadly we drifted apart 

I got the same result with my wife when we bought a water bed.

During flights I get terrible earache, but this year I've found out the solution thanks to the travel agent's help.

She's booked my wife twenty rows behind me.

I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me.
"Fancy buying me a drink?" She said,
"Sure," I replied. "If you let me choose."
"Okay," she grinned. "But how will you know what I want?"
"Well, it's kind of a talent," I smiled. "All I do is look a girl up and down and I know exactly what drink suits her best."
"Okay," she giggled. "You can choose for me."
So I turned to the barman and said, "Diet coke, mate."

Have you noticed how many F1 drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?
Stirling Moss, Lewis Hamilton, Eddie Irvine, Ayr Town Centre

Midwife for sale.
Will deliver.

I rang the Scam Victim's Helpline.
Now all I've got to do is send them their £300 administration fee and they'll start work on my case.

Last night some woman called and said my wife was in Casualty.
When I got home I watched all 50 minutes of it, but never saw her once!

She still hasn't come home yet.

I'm starving!