What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?
The ones in the casinos are serious.

I just watched my... 

 

 

 

A college student wanted to sit next to one of his teachers at lunch.

However, the teacher looked at the student with an arrogant face and said:

‘A swan shan’t be friends with a pig.’

‘Then I shall fly on,’ answered the student with a smile.

 

The teacher was clearly vexed by the cheeky reply and decided to make sure to do everything in his power to fail the student.

 

At the oral exam, he gave the student the hardest questions, but the student had amazing answers for everything. Therefore, hoping he could still fail his victim, the teacher asked him a trickier question:

 

‘You’re walking on a road and you find two bags. One contains gold, the other cleverness. Which bag do you choose?’

 

‘The gold.’

 

‘Unfortunately, I don’t agree. I’d choose cleverness because that’s more important than money.’

‘Everyone would choose what they don’t have,’ says the student.

 

The teacher turns red, and he’s so angry he writes “ass” on the student’s paper. The student leaves without looking at the paper. However, he returns shortly, gives back his paper and says:

‘Excuse me sir, you signed my paper, but you forgot to give me my grade!’

Make a sentence with Defence, Defeat and Detail...

Little Johnny was back from his summer break where he'd toured the Italian countryside.

 

The language teacher wanting to spur grey matter in the classroom asked the children to make a sentence with defence, defeat and detail.

 

After a few minutes of silence Little Johnny raised his hand and hesitantly spoke:

"Well... de horse jumped over de fence and de feet got tangled in de tail..."

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Was it a great buffet because of all the second helpings and therefore no two meals were the same?

 

9 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

Bit of trivia,

I'm currently watching the the whole series of M*A*SH 

 

2 minutes ago, WorriedNoodle said:

He's taking the <deleted>, surely. 

Just now, GarryP said:

He's taking the pish, surely. 

 

Edited September 16, 20214 yr by GarryP

10 hours ago, fangless said:

a safer alternative ending? 

10 minutes ago, tifino said:

a safer alternative ending? 

It may be a cleaner and and more precise ending but it leaves nothing to the imagination - as the fully clothed actress said to the undressing Bishop!