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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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Towels - the leading cause of dry skin.

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I just watched an fascinating documentary about the sun.
A good half hour's light entertainment.

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Nice offer on Amazon -
If you buy all Adam & The Ants sheet music, they'll throw in a stand & deliver.

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The local Subway shop is advertising for staff.

They are looking for someone to fill the roll.

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I went online to try and find my ancestors,
but they're all dead.

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Our goldfish died last night after my kids accidentally fed him small pieces of polystyrene.
I'm still trying to flush it down the toilet.

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Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex.
I woke this morning with a huge correction.

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Gravestones are a thing of the passed.

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Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings and he says,
"Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."

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I like being self deprecating,
but I'm not very good at it.

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What do you call a frustrated lesbian?
Mrs Cox.

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Are you an old person suffering with insomnia?
well cheer up...at least you won't die in your sleep.

  • Popular Post

Do you know Murphy 's law?

Yes, if something can go wrong it will.

Correct. Do you know Cole' s law.

No, what's that?

Thinly sliced cabbage.

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Pic thumbnail.

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1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

The local Subway shop is advertising for staff.

They are looking for someone to fill the roll.

Those guys make a lot of bread...

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

I like being self deprecating,
but I'm not very good at it.

I am not sure if I am meant to agree with you or not!

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings and he says,
"Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."

I wonder when he learned that?

  • Popular Post
1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex.
I woke this morning with a huge correction.

If you have mixed the bottles up does that mean you now have a load of stiff cardboard on your hands etc after using some tissues

  • Popular Post
1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

The local Subway shop is advertising for staff.

They are looking for someone to fill the roll.

Can you get your teeth into that job to make it realy fullfilling?

  • Popular Post
1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

I asked my mate how long he'd been wearing an earring.
He said it was since his wife found it in his car.

Is he still wearing the suspenders and stockings?

  • Popular Post
1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Towels - the leading cause of dry skin.

Personnaly I don't like either towels or masseurs as they both seem to rub me up the wrong way!

  • Popular Post
3 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Nice offer on Amazon -
If you buy all Adam & The Ants sheet music, they'll throw in a stand & deliver.

They're trying to be Prince Charming, delivering Antmusic. Then again, they have to if they want to be Kings of the Wild Frontier (Amazon); otherwise their competitors would snatch all the customers. It's a Dog Eat Dog world out there; Hard to get a Room at the Top.

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4 hours ago, fangless said:

I wonder when he learned that?

I'm not sure, but the story rings a bell.

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Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.

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When 3 people have sex it's called threesome
When 2 people have sex it's called twosome
I guess that's why people call me handsome

  • Popular Post

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners
The lady says, "Come Again!"

The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

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