18 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

I don't really need to specify this, since everyone in their heart of hearts knows this.

But as a general rule, if she's young enough to be your daughter, or worse still granddaughter, you know it's just not right.

Imagine the ridicule you would face back in home country. Mail Order Bride...the list goes on and on.

 

Thai's themselves don't like it, but they just accept that it's a way for a poor young girl to make a fairly good living

How about you stop wasting all your energy fantasizing about what others have under the heading of you being  concerned about them, and concentrate on what you have that you’re clearly not happy with. 

My wife is 16 years younger than me. She says she does not like the fact other village women talk about us and that jealousy is very obvious among certain friends. My wife is almost as wealthy as me due to lands that were left to her from her Grandmother. Many of her friends resented this before she met me and that resentment only grew deeper since the marriage.

 

I am only 49, so I am still pretty young and I look okay for my age but back at home my friends rib me that I have married a much younger woman and I am not sure if it is a joke or not sometimes. Most of my friends married the girls they were dating in high school and only about 40% of those marriages lasted and plenty of sour grapes on the breakups. The rest are on second marriages with women of similar ages and I got to admit, they look pretty rough.

 

Either way, even with me being young, I have my friends and her friends looking down on us like it is a marriage of convenience due to money but it is far from that. It took me seven years to find my wife here in Thailand and a few years hanging around her to make sure it would be good. I do not look too much at age differences but I will most likely be dead before her and that is about the only thing that upsets me as I can see how much she really loves me and I always want to be there for her. 

 

Most of my friends have about a 15-year gap in marriages here and I know a gap like that would be looked down upon in my hometown but I live in Thailand now, so between just my wife and myself, we are happy and that is all that matters. 

1 minute ago, Kadilo said:

How about you stop wasting all your energy fantasizing about what others have under the heading of you being  concerned about them, and concentrate on what you have that you’re clearly not happy with. 

I am very happy with what I have, but I also have some sense of morality and propriety, which seems lacking in many here!

3 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

I am very happy with what I have, but I also have some sense of morality and propriety, which seems lacking in many here!

People like you who spend so much time and energy moralizing and judging others and how they live their life and the choices they make rarely are. Despite how much they like to claim to the contrary. 

6 minutes ago, totally thaied up said:

I live in Thailand now, so between just my wife and myself, we are happy and that is all that matters. 

Why would you worry bout the likes of Ginboy and others back home stuck in a rut back home dreaming about what they WISH they had as opposed to the mess they ended up with. 

It’s not rocket science. 

Good for you. 

1 hour ago, GinBoy2 said:

Alright, I'm passing judgement then

 

I think is sickening to see, turns my stomach.

 

Feel better now? Told you exactly how I feel about the implicit and explicit sex trade in Thailand

I have tried Viagra and a 20 year old go go dancer does the same thing for me.  No risk of those meds and all the problems. 

 

Sorry I make you sick (not really) Karma will come to even you. 

 

I am treated to hd photos of my ex wife in the States weekly via Facebook and major newspapers when she graces the society pages.  She looks great, great clothes, great body but her poor face.  She has had the best doctors but you can't take 50 years off of an 80 year old woman. 

 

Women all over the world want to look like they are 20.  I think I'm a better adjusted person as I only want to feel a woman who is 20 next to me and not look like I'm 20 myself. 

 

Even though I turn your stomach you don't turn mine because one of the advantages of age is wisdom (see age requirement for President).  You will feel just like me when you get to my age.  Guaranteed. 

7 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

I am very happy with what I have, but I also have some sense of morality and propriety, which seems lacking in many here!

Morality has nothing to do with the age of of the partners.  Morality is the distinction between right and wrong.  Two consenting adults is not wrong in anyone's mind except perverts.  A pervert is to lead (someone) away from what is considered natural or acceptable.  Relationships between consenting adults is considered natural or acceptable. 

34 minutes ago, totally thaied up said:

My wife is 16 years younger than me. She says she does not like the fact other village women talk about us and that jealousy is very obvious among certain friends. My wife is almost as wealthy as me due to lands that were left to her from her Grandmother. Many of her friends resented this before she met me and that resentment only grew deeper since the marriage.

 

I am only 49, so I am still pretty young and I look okay for my age but back at home my friends rib me that I have married a much younger woman and I am not sure if it is a joke or not sometimes. Most of my friends married the girls they were dating in high school and only about 40% of those marriages lasted and plenty of sour grapes on the breakups. The rest are on second marriages with women of similar ages and I got to admit, they look pretty rough.

 

Either way, even with me being young, I have my friends and her friends looking down on us like it is a marriage of convenience due to money but it is far from that. It took me seven years to find my wife here in Thailand and a few years hanging around her to make sure it would be good. I do not look too much at age differences but I will most likely be dead before her and that is about the only thing that upsets me as I can see how much she really loves me and I always want to be there for her. 

 

Most of my friends have about a 15-year gap in marriages here and I know a gap like that would be looked down upon in my hometown but I live in Thailand now, so between just my wife and myself, we are happy and that is all that matters. 

Over time most of that stuff will subside.  My wife is 20 years younger than me but we have been together for more than 21 years so people have gotten used to us and we now get many admiring comments from people who generally show no interest in foreigners.  I know how gossipy and judgmental some people can be so I do throw in the duration of our relationship and that seems to help with new people.

 

This is Thailand so the way you look, dress and behave also plays a very big role in how they see you and what they may say behind your back.  I am quite comfortable with the way we are treated here on all levels of society.

It it all floats your boat fine.

 

To use a very first world analogy;

 

when I look at Donald & Ivanka Trump, you think that she married him for his looks???

Edited January 22, 20197 yr by GinBoy2

5 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

It it all floats your boat fine.

 

To use a very first world analogy;

 

when I look at Donald & Ivanka Trump, you think that she married him for his looks???

My wife is five years older than me, mind you, I'm a right ugly bastard.

On ‎1‎/‎19‎/‎2019 at 2:50 PM, garet said:

It's hilarious when foreigners complain about "the junta" which has had no impact on expats. Only foreigners living in the country  illegally or engaged in illegal activities have had more scrutiny (and good riddance). Without mass red shirt and yellow shirt protests, it's actually been easier to live here for the past few years. 

 

Agree 100%, I have very little interaction to no interaction with Thai police or authorities in the two years I have lived here full time. Not my country and I am only a guest here but it seems Thailand (like many other countries) has real problems implementing some form of effective republican government. This does not make it a bad place for a foreigner to retire. 

 

I like it here, and I live out in the country.

 

On ‎1‎/‎19‎/‎2019 at 2:54 PM, Pilotman said:

Its not the 'run of the mill' issues that worry me, the hospitals are fine for them, if a tad expensive.  its the possibility of a big hit, cancer, heart issues etc.  The medical services are good, if you can afford them. I can, but I would hate to 'waste' the kid's inheritance on a major issue here that would have been free in the UK, but that is the choice you make when you move here. .   

I love my son dearly. but he is not getting a penny of "inheritance" from me. Raised him in a nice home for 18 years, and paid for five years of college. He now has to go out and make his life on his own in the land or opportunity (USA).

1 hour ago, grollies said:

My wife is five years older than me, mind you, I'm a right ugly bastard.

Well as my who's only 5 years younger than me often reminds me..."You look just just like your Dad now".

 

Something tells she's not saying that as a compliment! LOL

Edited January 23, 20197 yr by GinBoy2

11 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

I don't really need to specify this, since everyone in their heart of hearts knows this.

But as a general rule, if she's young enough to be your daughter, or worse still granddaughter, you know it's just not right.

Imagine the ridicule you would face back in home country. Mail Order Bride...the list goes on and on.

 

Thai's themselves don't like it, but they just accept that it's a way for a poor young girl to make a fairly good living

So my daughter is 28 therefore it's acceptable for me to marry a 30 year old? I am 65 (and 3 days).

 

My first wife, UK, was 5 years younger than me, marriage lasted 7 weeks. My second wife, UK, was 10 years younger than me, still married. My current wife, Thai, is 20 years younger than me, very happily married.

 

You can see my problem, 5, 10, 20, my next wife needs to be 40 years younger than me, slightly younger than my daughter. Is this an insurmountable problem?

 

"Thai's themselves don't like it, but they just accept that it's a way for a poor young girl to make a fairly good living".

 

You clearly don't know many Thais. It's normal for Thais to marry a woman much younger than themselves. I see Thai men with younger women every day. The younger the wife is the more kudos the man gains. It's part of Thai culture. Related to the fact that, as a rule, the older a man is, the more he earns, i.e. greater wealth.

 

Wealth, the ability to take care of your wife, is something that Thai women look for in all men, not just farangs.

Edited January 23, 20197 yr by Spidey

14 hours ago, Spidey said:

On 1/21/2019 at 6:54 PM, Naam said:

shit happens even without any reasons

Disagree. You make your own luck in life.

you don't seem to have much life experience. my comment is a general one and not specifically referring to Thai partners of which i have no idea as my wife of 39 years is a foreigner in Thailand. go ahead, disagree and repeat "you make your own luck in life" when you are hit by a drunk driver's vehicle or acquire a serious health problem.

 

yawnnnn...

7 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

It it all floats your boat fine.

 

To use a very first world analogy;

 

when I look at Donald & Ivanka Trump, you think that she married him for his looks???

You are aware that Ivanka Trump is the daughter, not the wife, of Donald Trump? Now there you might have an issue of propriety and morality.

On ‎1‎/‎19‎/‎2019 at 7:08 PM, villagefarang said:

If one stays here long enough it is possible to go through many phases of adjustment.  I am not very interested in the whole visa, food, shelter, transportation phase.  That is just too basic and boring to me.  It can be interesting to hear how a first time visitor sees Thailand, I guess, but I prefer talking with someone who is well past the introduction to Thailand 101 phase.

 

Just try to remember everything changes, like your expectations, you, Thailand, the people you know and how much you know and understand.  Moving to Thailand is just the beginning, not the end.  Every step you take, every corner you turn will present you with obstacles or opportunities depending on how you choose to look at it.

 

I sometimes equate the euphoria to the wannabe expat to the teenage girl who fantasizes about her wedding day and what she will wear but never gives a thought to what comes after.  Moving here is just a starting point for what could be a very good or a very bad trip.

 

Trying to assuage ones insecurities  by making longterm commitments is a recipe for disaster in my opinion.  Take it slow and don’t over commit at the beginning.  Try not to commit the same errors from your past life and give yourself a chance at a new life by getting rid of some of that old baggage.

 

If you give it a fair shot and find that it is not for you, then don’t be afraid to move on and try something else.  It is not a failure if you have learned something along the way.

Words or wisdom.

10 minutes ago, Naam said:

you don't seem to have much life experience. my comment is a general one and not specifically referring to Thai partners of which i have no idea as my wife of 39 years is a foreigner in Thailand. go ahead, disagree and repeat "you make your own luck in life" when you are hit by a drunk driver's vehicle or acquire a serious health problem.

 

yawnnnn...

You didn't make it clear that your comment was a general one. It was in response to a comment about someone not having luck with women. My response holds good for women of any nationality, which I alluded to if you read my reply properly.

2 minutes ago, Spidey said:

You didn't make it clear that your comment was a general one. It was in response to a comment about someone not having luck with women. My response holds good for women of any nationality, which I alluded to if you read my reply properly.

actually my comment applies to all situations in life and that includes the choice of partner. personalities, habits and attitudes change. there's no way to foresee these changes... especially when they pertain to women folks.  

16 minutes ago, ChristianBlessing said:

You are aware that Ivanka Trump is the daughter, not the wife, of Donald Trump? Now there you might have an issue of propriety and morality.

Sorry meant Melania

14 minutes ago, Naam said:

actually my comment applies to all situations in life and that includes the choice of partner. personalities, habits and attitudes change. there's no way to foresee these changes... especially when they pertain to women folks.  

YMMV

38 minutes ago, Spidey said:

…..My first wife, UK, was 5 years younger than me, marriage lasted 7 weeks. My second wife, UK, was 10 years younger than me, still married. My current wife, Thai, is 20 years younger than me, very happily married...…..

While I agree with most of your post the above sentence confused me. Your second wife was ten years younger than you and still married. Your current Thai wife is twenty years younger. Does this mean you currently have two wives (one in the UK and one in Thailand)?

 

It is acceptable to have a younger wife in Thailand and many/most of the SE Asian nations, but it has to be within certain limits to be socially acceptable. A 65 year old guy should probably not marry a 18-30 year old and expect people to accept the relationship for anything other than it is. That same 65 year old could probably marry a 35-45 year old and not face the same amount of scrutiny. There are some very fit guys out there that are in their mid to late 60's that might be able to marry a much younger woman without the direct stigma, but not so for a fat balding out of shape guy that seems to be the norm. A friend of mine has told me in Laos there is an actual formula (for natives and foreigners alike)  with acceptable ranges of age for the bride and groom. So you could just look it up.

2 minutes ago, Ahab said:

While I agree with most of your post the above sentence confused me. Your second wife was ten years younger than you and still married. Your current Thai wife is twenty years younger. Does this mean you currently have two wives (one in the UK and one in Thailand)?

Yes.

6 minutes ago, Ahab said:

There are some very fit guys out there that are in their mid to late 60's that might be able to marry a much younger woman without the direct stigma, but not so for a fat balding out of shape guy that seems to be the norm.

Whew! Thanks for the endorsement. I have a full head of hair, which is still it's original colour. I'm slightly overweight but wasn't when I met my current Thai wife (it's all her fault). Oh, and I have all my own teeth. Quite a catch, if I say so myself! 555

Edited January 23, 20197 yr by Spidey

Getting married and moving to a foreign country are both in themselves major undertakings. Combining the two makes things even more problematic so it is no wonder people search for a formula which will assure them of success.  The problem is, life is never that simple.  A couple could check all the boxes on a socially acceptable checklist and still not workout.

 

Then, there are the guys who openly acknowledge they do not have a clue when it comes to women but get married at the drop of a hat.  Supposedly they think closing their eyes and jumping in is as good an option as any other.

 

I actually think my being 20 years older than my wife has been a plus in our relationship.  Age, looks, personality, education, money, lifestyle and a myriad of other things are all mixed up into who you are and what potential you have in life.  Trying to focus on just one thing, like age or money, really isn't going to get you very far on the path of predicting the future.

Edited January 23, 20197 yr by villagefarang

I stll see a Plane fly over, and hope it drops a Food Parcel.This place is a Gastronomic Dessert once out of BKK. Cars are even worse. Thats it ize happy realy.

47 minutes ago, Spidey said:

Whew! Thanks for the endorsement. I have a full head of hair, which is still it's original colour. I'm slightly overweight but wasn't when I met my current Thai wife (it's all her fault). Oh, and I have all my own teeth. Quite a catch, if I say so myself! 555

Have You noticed how many Roll On Deodorant heads visit Thailand there days. In the Nam Years there were a few, but they wore Rugs.

1 hour ago, Spidey said:

My second wife, UK, was 10 years younger than me, still married. My current wife, Thai, is 20 years younger than me, very happily married.

 

You can see my problem

Yep, you forgot to divorce your UK wife.

Just now, grollies said:

Yep, you forgot to divorce your UK wife.

Neither of us want a divorce. been together 30+ years. 2 kids. I love her dearly.

7 minutes ago, HAKAPALITA said:

Have You noticed how many Roll On Deodorant heads visit Thailand there days. In the Nam Years there were a few, but they wore Rugs.

Never noticed. I use spray deodorant. Same fragrance as my body wash and after shave.