The week that was in Thailand news: Thai Proverb: When brain failure occurs, blame the brakes!

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Thai Proverb: When brain failure occurs, blame the brakes!

 

 

One can learn an awful lot about the culture of a country or people by examining the proverbs that they use. And Thailand is no different to anywhere in this regard. 

 

When I was a school teacher at one of Bangkok's international schools I wanted to teach Thai proverbs to my young students - the aim was to show them some inconsistencies and some similarities. Some of the proverbs would show how Thais and foreigners think alike, some would show how they don't. Most but not all would show the different language used to convey meanings and intentions. 

 

Some of the easy to grasp favorites among the pupils were "nee seua pa jorakhee" (flee a tiger and meet a crocodile) that equates to 'out of the frying pan into the fire' , "khaw meuang khon ta liw tong liw ta taam" (when going to the land of people who wink you should wink too) meaning 'When in Rome...' and "ow maphraw pay khai suan" (taking coconuts to sell in the orchard) that correlates to "taking coals to Newcastle".

 

The children learned both Thai and English words in the proverb topic as I improved my own handle on what can be an important part of language learning for use in adult conversation. Of course I was obliged as a teacher of children to avoid some of the racier proverbs that I had accumulated in my own Thai language armory. Such as "khao mai plaa man" (fresh rice and tasty fish) used to indicate the excitement of being a newlywed. Or the entirely inappropriate for kids (but vital for adults!) "wua gae gin yaa orn" (old cows like to eat young grass).

 

If you've never heard of it you can work that one out for homework.

 

This week on Thaivisa I was struck by just how many times Thai proverbs seemed to rear up and bite me in relation to translating the news. I even learnt a new one that referred to Mind over Matter "jit pen nai, jai pen bao" after a Thai "life coach" went online to pooh-pooh the use of masks in Bangkok's smog. I had to agree and reckon the air seemed wonderfully clear most of this week despite dozens of "jump on the bandwagon" stories in the Thai media.

 

Top proverb - also intimately related to the blah blah blah about 2.5 micron wide particle invaders in the capital - concerned the actions of Bangkok plod who once again exhibited an admirable adherence to "locking the stable door after the horse has bolted" or in Thai "wua hai lorm khork" (encircling the pen after the cows have disappeared).

 

Bang Na's traffic cop finest - a term I use loosely - were out in force catching no less than 51 drivers of vehicles belching black smoke in their jurisdiction between 10 am and 3pm. This is the time when they usually play video games after and before waving their hands aimlessly in the rush hour snarls. 

 

Of course it is good that they are doing something but (rhetorical question alert) would it not be better that foul emissions' enforcement was dealt with in an ongoing campaign rather than as a knee jerk reaction to a perceived crisis?

 

Also acting a tad slowly after the cows had disappeared were the Thai public health authorities. They have just realized what the rest of us - especially teachers - have seen all too clearly over the last twenty years. Namely the rise of obesity in children. 

 

According to figures, 9% of five year olds are overweight and 13% of 6 to 14 year olds are obese. I have a five year old and am constantly monitoring her food intake - she has an upcountry cousin who can barely walk after relatives with a shop allowed her free rein.

 

Despite the fact that teachers see their children barely able to fit on the school chairs these days, I was still dismayed at Harrow when I reported to colleagues on the case of a boy who was appropriately enough called "Big". He was huge and his parents would give him money and pick him up late giving him hours to kill at the local ice-cream shop. The school authorities I approached humored me when I said this was essentially child abuse and failed to act decisively by not confronting his "Hi So" parents.

 

What is the Thai proverb for not rocking the boat?

 

Thankfully the Thai health authorities are now reviewing targets so it may not be too late to make a difference in what Rooster sees as a massive problem and one that Thailand should have seen coming after the experiences of the West.

 

Down in Pattaya there was a fine example of "pit thong lang phra" (putting gold leaf on the back of a Buddhist image or hiding one's light under a bushel). I interviewed Croatian tourist Sinisa, aged 51, who saved two Chinese tourists from drowning in "one fell swoop" (okay, that's Shakespeare, not a proverb!).

 

Sinisa had no intention of praising himself in contacting Thaivisa - he wanted to get the authorities to install lifeguards on the beach to save the next batch of Chinese who seem to have no inkling that deep water can mean a quick and usually silent death. (The quietness of drowning was something Rooster always impressed on leaders of school trips). 

 

The big and broad Croat insisted he was not a hero just a Good Samaritan on holiday in Thailand for three months. Meanwhile Rooster (who likes anonymity but when the time is ripe doesn't say no to limelight) sensed that a bit of Sinisa's magic might have rubbed off on me. On Wednesday I found myself stripping down to my boxers in a Bangkok park and plunging in as two security guards tried to save the life of a rare owl that had fallen into the middle of a deep pond. 

 

Next day I half expected my face to be in Thai Rath after the obligatory pictures of the unnamed farang were taken with the guards and owl following the dramatic rescue....Sadly not. I guess I shall just have to pick up some litter or return a taxi driver's missing wedge to get that accolade.

 

Then I was reminded of another proverb favorite that so often figures in stories about Thailand: "Ram mai dee thote pii thote klong" (when the dancing is bad blame the flute and drums) or 'A bad workman blames his tools' in English. This was in relation to yet another case where a trailer driver was blaming brake failure after spilling his backhoe load onto the Friendship Highway in Nong Khai. 

 

So many brakes have been blamed recently that I think a new Thai proverb should be introduced: "Khap rot mai dee, thote brake" to indicate that when brain failure occurs while driving one should always blame the effing brakes....

 

Given that Wednesday was National Teachers' day the phrase "pit pen khruu" (literally 'mistakes are teachers' or "we learn from our mistakes") came to mind as the Thai authorities gathered to try to unravel the mess that is E-cigarettes. 

 

The police, funnily enough given their almost complete reluctance to uphold the law, were complaining that they don't know what to do when it comes to vapers.

 

Should we fleece them or just let them go; it was baffling said the constabulary. Now a working party it will contain the police despite the incongruity of those words in relation to plod) will be set up to look into the whole E-fags business. In seriousness, problems arise because the importation and selling of devices and vaping liquid is just one notch off capital murder while puffing on the streets is actually legal. 

 

It is an urban myth - otherwise known as a "Facebook Post" - to suggest otherwise.

 

But tourists in particular need clarity in this matter to avoid being taken advantage of, something I am led to believe happens from time to time in the kingdom. 

 

Potentially the biggest story of the week, especially given Thaivisa's supposedly aging clientele, was the news that Big Joke - Immigration Chief Lt Gen Surachate Hakparn - was mulling over stopping the onerous 90 day reporting and introducing ten year visas for retirees. 

 

As always, the devil is in the proverbial detail but hope among the most curmudgeonly of forum curmudgeons sprang reasonably eternal as Khaosod reported on a meeting with BJ.

 

The report - bucking the trend of a lot of Khaosod trash recently - contained some lovely lines including my quote of the week from Rangsit university lecturer Wanwichit Boonprong who was commenting on BJ's rise in the ranks and his adoption of a more military style of management structure:

 

"In the police underlings take care of their superiors, in the army superiors take care of their underlings". 

 

BJ himself almost got the Rooster award for best quote when asked what he would do if he were not a lifelong cop. He said:

 

"I would want a career dedicated to helping society..." Wonderful! However, he spoiled this noble sentiment by adding "....like police do". 

 

Big Too - the prime minister - reminds me about making silk purses from sow's ears. His Thai moniker - that means the influential figure who grabbed power by force - was once again up to his sleight of hand tricks over the election date. 

 

Intimating that a further delay is in the air he has also been crafty in weaving a web of election day uncertainty around the fixed in stone date of His Majesty's early May coronation. The public were essentially asked to "understand" while no one with half a brain was fooled. There really is no good reason to keep delaying the election past February 24th unless it is to favor the military's cause. 

 

Thankfully, Rooster's That Was The Week notebook was once again overflowing with notes on the funny and quirky stories that occurred in the kingdom this week. Though some may view the following as more like the absurd and incredible. 

 

Down in Koh Samui we were treated to a picture of a beaming British business man smiling more than Mrs May after her arduous week of defeat and victory. The holiday island Brit had just been nabbed by the rozzers after putting ganja in his Tom Yam and enjoying a lovely afternoon. 

 

It reminded me of a birthday meal prepared by my first wife on the far side of Koh Chang in the late 80s. At that time the ring road had not been built which meant a long jungle walk from the town to the beaches. Yes, we felt safe that the police wouldn't be there to wish me "Many Happy Returns". 

 

Following last week's spate of stories about Thai honesty, this week we were jolted back to Planet Earth with the news that there were some thieving miscreants in the Thai ranks. Leading the way were two maids in Pattaya who robbed an 89 year old German tourist of 5,900 Euros that he left in his condo wardrobe. 

 

He was castigated by the forum faithful for leaving his hard earned among his smalls, but ultimately forgiven for having a Thai wife 42 years his junior. 

 

In Sri Racha a Cambodian pervert was nicked after a local man turned sleuth and "nabbed the knicker nicker" in a citizen's arrest. The hapless thief looked "red faced as he was caught red handed with the undies under the seat of his red Honda getaway bike".

 

DPM Prawit was trying - and failing spectacularly - to be funny. He suggested that the reason why terrorists might have attacked a Thai hotel in Kenya was the delicious food. He should really stop opening that thing under his nose - it would save us from these childish pronouncements as well as help with the obesity epidemic.

 

Marking Teacher's Day was a "feel-good story" about a Khun Khru who went out of his way to pick up a student who could not make it to class. The boy was pictured without a helmet prompting me to bet my editorial team that the first comment on the forum would not be "lovely dedicated teacher" but related to the lack of safety headgear. The first comment proved why they were wise not to take my bet.

 

"You need a work permit to breathe", "Life is cheap in Thailand", "500 baht slap on the wrist for GBH", "Brown envelopes", "Fragile Thai male ego", "incomparable penis size"  "Oxygen thief, hope he gets what's coming to him in a Thai jail bathroom"......I know we all get repetitive in our dotage but I do hope that some posters might think of originality before putting finger to keyboard in future. 

 

Finally, a story that really hit the funny bone - or boner. A Thai public health official raiding massage shops in Bangkok suggested that Thailand was going to apply for Thai massage to be named on the list of culturally acceptable "World Heritage" activities. 

 

Seeing me translating the story, I suggested to Mrs Rooster that if I were to make a trip downtown for a Sukhumvit massage it could henceforth be regarded as a cultural visit. 

 

I needn't tell you precisely what she said about feeding ducks. 

 

Suffice to say it wasn't exactly a proverb.

 

Rooster

 

Thaivisa News: 2019-01-19

 

[high plane drifter]

Very good rooster,,,,I also speak Thai,  it makes life so much easier ,and communication is so much different, too bad that Expat don't learn the language, they would be much happier living here,,,but It would make no difference on justice department,,

[Neeranam]

Thais say, "don't swing your feet" for don't rock the boat.

 

Or maybe "ya feun foi haa dta keb".

 

 

 

 

[MrPatrickThai]

4 hours ago, Neeranam said:

Thais say, "don't swing your feet" for don't rock the boat.

 

Or maybe "ya feun foi haa dta keb".

 

 

 

 

อย่ากวนน้ำให้ขุ่น      is better! ????

[pennine]

I once had a book (sadly lost) which listed two pages of phrases and expressions we all use without realising that they were coined by Shakespeare. An old boss used to describe how he did things "in one foul sweep" which always amused me.

[chubby]

On 1/20/2019 at 4:47 AM, high plane drifter said:

Very good rooster,,,,I also speak Thai,  it makes life so much easier ,and communication is so much different, too bad that Expat don't learn the language, they would be much happier living here,,,but It would make no difference on justice department,,

 

two stars** for the  pasa angrit only  ????