Unwillingness / inability to talk things through

[marcusarelus]

7 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

It is a Thai thing. For all of the precepts expressed within Buddhism, about introspection, reflection, self knowledge, etc, it is quite mind boggling how unwilling most Thais are, to look within for the source of a problem, or even discuss an issue, to work it out. Communication is key in any healthy relationship. When I was with my wife during the first year or two, we would have problems, and I would want to discuss them. She would always say I do not want to talk about it. My reply would be that her unwillingness to discuss our issues, will lead to our breakup. I would ask her how much does this relationship mean to you? If you really care as much as you say you do, demonstrate it, with the willingness to work out our problems. Otherwise, it will be the reason we will not last. I explained the multiple functions of the door. You can use it to enter, or to exit the house. If we cannot work things out, then you will exit the house soon! She got it. We began to talk. She did not like doing so. But, over time we learned to communicate, and now she is very good at it. We have an issue. We talk about it. And it is resolved quickly. 

 

So, it is really about training, coaching, and conditioning. As Thais do not like to discuss things that are deep or troublesome, they must be trained to do so. If they care. 

Didn't Buddha leave his wife and kids?  Is that a Buddhist thing?  

[spidermike007]

On 6/11/2019 at 6:29 PM, marcusarelus said:

Didn't Buddha leave his wife and kids?  Is that a Buddhist thing?  

 

I think a prince, (who many would consider an Avatar or enlightened saint) who is seeking enlightenment might qualify as something different than what we are discussing here. 

[marcusarelus]

12 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

 

I think a prince, (who many would consider an Avatar or enlightened saint) who is seeking enlightenment might qualify as something different than what we are discussing here. 

You mean like Prince Charlie said, "Well, I refuse to be the only Prince of Wales who never had a mistress.”  I can understand that.  Pity Diana didn't.  

[faraday]

3 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

You mean like Prince Charlie said, "Well, I refuse to be the only Prince of Wales who never had a mistress.”  I can understand that.  Pity Diana didn't.  

When did he say that?

[marcusarelus]

6 minutes ago, faraday said:

When did he say that?

https://metro.co.uk/2017/07/30/prince-charles-told-diana-it-was-his-right-to-have-a-mistress-6816010/

 

Don't feel bad though the tape has never been shown in the UK.  I didn't realize the British government could do things like that.  

[dode57k]

On 5/30/2019 at 8:01 PM, Fex Bluse said:

Very common Thai trait. Several reasons for this including,

 

Thais' low tolerance for and high avoidance of conflict,

 

Thai language being a fairly rudimentary one that lacks descriptive power and 

 

Thais tending to speak in terribly vague terms, leaving much of the meaning to be interpreted by the listener 

 

They are typically poor at expressing emotion. 

This is spot on. Its also something they are acutely aware of. I was recently chatting to a young cabin crew member on a flight to Suvarnabhumi and she told me that although she preferred relationships with farangs, the culture difference was most evident when she just wanted to be quiet after an argument or disagreement. She said farangs wanted to go on and on about it and wouldn't let things lie. In her eyes that was a major failing.

I kind of agree, with 2 divorces behind me I've learned to go with the flow and if that means silence for half a day then enjoy the peace.