Why do Thai people ask my GF how much $ I send her?

[Skallywag]

6 minutes ago, Mitkof Island said:

My partner never had anything to do with the bars.

And how would anyone know all their partner did in their first 20-30 years of life?   

Understand those who trust and discuss "everything" with their partners will always believe.... sort of like the God question.  Do you believe? 

Personally have not ever been there or done that....my loss, others gain

[tifino]

this situation is much bigger than the experience of one OP and what his GF is encountering...

 

there is that endless myriad of bikini clad hypocriticals; each having their own steady queue of love-trapped fellas/fiancees.

 These fellas who are each then to be presented with their own unsurmountable burden of fending off the leverage attacks from their respective girlie... 

 

 Leverage: Once these girlies get the eeked out Intel on what another is getting - the girlie puts that to their own man(men) with the threat that if the girlie don't get better $$ from 'him' then he loses her to her better off target(s)

 

 

Choices:

 - Stay and pay

 - Run

 - Stay and Not Pay, and cop the endless Falang Kee Nok BS

 

 

[Tagged]

22 minutes ago, tifino said:

 

 

 

Choices:

 - Stay and pay

 - Run

 - Stay and Not Pay, and cop the endless Falang Kee Nok BS

 

 

Stay with the girl/lady, no longdistance relationship! Thats the only option. The only thing that work in this world. 

 

Away and pay is no option at all, and should not be. A short period after knowing each other for a longer time, yes, but not a new fresh relationship, or 5 weeks a year thing. 

 

When together sharing is caring works out fine. 

[scorecard]

3 hours ago, Mitkof Island said:

This seems to be a common question most asked by Thai prostitutes. I never heard this questioned asked by elder Thais or those not involved in shady dealings with foreigners. Personally i do not see an issue if your Thai wife or partner is currently not working, taking care of the parents who are old or ill or the grand children . But it passes into the stupidity level when you are out of country and sending them more than a common Thai makes in a month. When i hear bar girls bragging about my SUCKER gives me 20,000 baht a month or more when he is here or not. The only thing i can think of while i am hearing this is. Where did MR. Foreign SUCKER find you ? What girly bar, massage shop, or street corner.

Further, how many western men share their wage packet with their wife, it's the same thing.

[SenorJorge]

I agree that this situation is much bigger than the op and his girl.

 

It's way bigger than long distance relationships and money.

 

It's more to do with the way many many (id go as far to say the majority of se Asian girls who actively look for farangs) women in se Asia look at us as nothing other than a payday.  They can seem very convincingly in love.  And that is because they are in love.  Not with you, but with your money and the lifestyle you can provide to them.

 

Se Asia is probably the worst place on the planet for a western male to look for real love.  To be honest I'm not sure anywhere outside of home is.  If you want to find someone who will really love and respect you, thailand should be last on your list of places to hunt.  

 

You want to drink and screw?  Se Asia is great for that.  True love?  Where is the violin music, please?  You'd have a better chance just wearing nicer clothes and looking back at home in England or any of the us cities.  I mean that sincerely.

[luckyluke]

 

Usually it is the older Farang who is happy to pay for something youthful. 

 

The lady is giving her youth for something pecuniary. 

 

If both are happy with this transaction, why should a third party interfere with it. 

[SenorJorge]

12 minutes ago, luckyluke said:

 

Usually it is the older Farang who is happy to pay for something youthful. 

 

The lady is giving her youth for something pecuniary. 

 

If both are happy with this transaction, why should a third party interfere with it. 

If she's feeding off your pension like she's some kind of brackish water parasite do not expect trust, honesty, or fidelity in the relationship.  If that's OK with you, have at it.  In my experience though even most of these kind of men are unhappy with the way their women "behave".  If youre some old misshapen weirdo like I am, you're better off renting them for the night or for the week.  Any more than that and emotions get involved and you get hurt.  At least in my experience.  I won't even let them sleep in my room anymore.  I don't trust anyone from that part of the world because of my own personal experiences.

[SenorJorge]

9 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

During the Ayutthaya period of Thailand’s history – from 1351 to 1767 you will find there was a legal code governing part time wives for visiting sailors, from there to Khlong Toei District Mosquito bar.  Pattaya was never a sanctioned R&R location that was Bangkok.  

 

It has become fashionable to blame the Vietnam war for many things but prostitution is not a charge that will stick.  Australia (KIngs Cross) was also an R&R site with prostitution as was Hawaii.  Might want to get your facts straight.   Pattaya took off as sin city after the Vietnam war was over and the Americans out of Thailand.  95% of prostitution is Thai on Thai and does not involve any Farangs so your story is wrong on many fronts.  

 

Pattaya actually had a better reputation in the 60s.  The beach was actually pretty nice!  Not ruined yet. There was prostitution there just like the rest of Thailand.  It was even possible to meet decent women there.  Lots of "good" esan women met and married us servicemen during the Vietnam War.  There's still a few of those couples left here in America.   I always kind of want to ask them what they think of what thailand has become today but I feel a bit awkward talking about it.

[SenorJorge]

6 hours ago, Tagged said:

I do not understand why everyone bickering about bar girls. I start wondering that most of the TV members have experience with bar girls, and also have one, since the experience most of all is about bar girls in every f tread. Every question about culture, girls and money, ends up on bickering about bar girls. 

 

My experience is, they are no worse than any other woman seeking foreigners. Same same but different. When you start dating a bar girl, you know, but when you start dating someone who claim to be different, you have no clue, before the shit hits the fan. Surprise ????

Couldn't be a truer word spoken.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎6‎/‎14‎/‎2019 at 11:32 AM, Tagged said:

An asian woman is supposed to take care of her husband, make him helpless in his home, make sure he do not find anything himself. Serving coffe in the morning and make food, clean dishes, and hide his clean underwear a new place every week, so she know he still needs hem for the most simple thing. . Thats how hey keep their husbands, and reminds them how helpless they are without them.

True. My wife used to do all that for me, but when it stopped I knew the marriage was over, as she no longer cared enough to be a Thai wife, though she certainly felt I should still do the customary handing over of the money.

Never tell a farang woman what they do though. I made that mistake and almost lost a farang female friend because of it, as I was "exploiting" her.

Farang women don't know how good they have it. Big marriage service with an expensive dress and all her friends going ooh, get the kid(s), get the divorce, get the money and the house and everything- set for life just for sleeping with a guy for a few years.

Bah humbug- marriage sucks.

[SenorJorge]

32 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

True. My wife used to do all that for me, but when it stopped I knew the marriage was over, as she no longer cared enough to be a Thai wife, though she certainly felt I should still do the customary handing over of the money.

Never tell a farang woman what they do though. I made that mistake and almost lost a farang female friend because of it, as I was "exploiting" her.

Farang women don't know how good they have it. Big marriage service with an expensive dress and all her friends going ooh, get the kid(s), get the divorce, get the money and the house and everything- set for life just for sleeping with a guy for a few years.

Bah humbug- marriage sucks.

Isn't that the way divorce goes in Thailand too?  They certainly get the house don't they?

[luckyluke]

Quite happy with my bargirl since 2000.

 

The attraction was purely phisical for me (Thanks Rod), purely financial for her. 

 

It moved to a different way for both us. 

 

Love? maybe? 

 

If love is respect, attention, comprehension. 

 

Are we part of a minority? it can, ot than not. 

 

Usually people having a good relation with their partner don't post on fora about their situation. 

 

The majority of the readers/posters are not interested in their story. 

 

On the other hand stories about bad partners, bad experiences, are always welcomed. 

 

[Tagged]

11 minutes ago, luckyluke said:

Quite happy with my bargirl since 2000.

 

The attraction was purely phisical for me (Thanks Rod), purely financial for her. 

 

It moved to a different way for both us. 

 

Love? maybe? 

 

If love is respect, attention, comprehension. 

 

Are we part of a minority? it can, ot than not. 

 

Usually people having a good relation with their partner don't post on fora about their situation. 

 

The majority of the readers/posters are not interested in their story. 

 

On the other hand stories about bad partners, bad experiences, are always welcomed. 

 

We can only share our own experiences, and so far happy with a decent girl, who did not have the best start in life, and neither any happy life before she met me. She did the best she could, and now do the best for me as I try to do the best for her. Mutual respect and caring is what it takes, and willing to learn from each other. 3 important factors as a good fundament in any relationships. Language also so we can communicate on a decent level, and of course economic solid. 

 

Last, if you have to high expectations about love, you will never find it, because thats something grows with the mistakes and understanding we all do in the beginning of the relationships, and after the two first years, you might se where its going to end. 

 

If you use all your money on one stock and call that investing for the future, most will say you are crazy. Right? The same goes for using all your resources on a girl you really do not know. There is some basic rules to follow and some social skills needed to survive also in Thailand. If you think you can buy people and get respect and love, you have not understand nothing, but have money, understanding, social skills, helps alot to do less mistakes. 

 

My gf is not perfect, but she is willing to learn, so I, and then we have to do the walk, not only talk ???? 

[Tomahawk21]

23 hours ago, Elkski said:

Please just leave my thread.  

I really despise people who post on threads when they obviously haven't read the thread.  

I don't send her money. so just leave and stop bickering go take your rich life somewhere else. 

i did read the thread, no body asks my girls those sorts of questions. it maybe that they already know i dont give money or it may have something to do with the sort of girl i date or the friends they keep. 

try not to be jealous its not a nice. thank you.

[Tomahawk21]

On 6/15/2019 at 11:30 AM, luckyluke said:

We are all different, and nothing wrong with that. 

 

I do my way, don't expect others do the same. 

 

However I don't expect that others tell me how I should do. 

 

Of course I am open to an opinion. 

agreed,but i would rather know a women is with me and not for the money. good luck anyway i hope it works out well for you.

[Number 6]

A variation on this: my wife works in an office city center when her co workers found out she was dating a farang they asked her all sorts of ridiculously stupid questions that would never be asked or expected of a Thai. When she honestly answered he pays for this and that but doesn't give me money, I support myself. I'm no gik. They were shocked. Seems every farang her is quite literally a multimillionaire.

 

Fast forward to marriage. Why I've not bought her a car (I've none) or a pricey condo. Because I'm not 60 and we both have a lot of living ahead of us. An overpriced condo is not a necessity. I'm not so sure over past five years I want to stay on here.  Able to leave money to her when I die is far more important than some depreciating asset. But Thais don't care bc it's free so depreciating or not, it's free money.

 

It's just all such childish, short term, smash and grab thinking. It's essentially 'poor people' mindset. Most Thai don't have a pot to piss in.

[zaZa9]

Its called , "Market Research".

[GroupA]

I think you guys are making a big deal of things. This also happens in the west. Everyone wants to see a new engagement ring and/or pictures of the honeymoon. It's an idle talk for the most part. Girls/women can get catty everywhere. It's all about learning how to deal with it. Answering indirectly is best, like enough but not too much. If they persist tell them you'll have to ask him. My wife got when we first moved back but she's good at putting people in their place. When local people asked why she didn't wear more gold when she went out, she simply said " do you think I should. I like to keep things simple" 

What we consider noisy, Thais consider normal. They always ask about how much we paid for something or how old are you or how much do you weigh? It might be rude in the west but not in Thai culture. Best to chill out and smile. Answer not much and smile. 

[luckyluke]

4 hours ago, Tomahawk21 said:

good luck anyway i hope it works out well for you.

Thanks,

19 years together next month. 

 

[Tomahawk21]

8 hours ago, luckyluke said:

Thanks,

19 years together next month. 

 

i guess you are lucky luke then ????

[luckyluke]

1 hour ago, Tomahawk21 said:

guess you are lucky luke then ????

We usually read on fora about people who are unlucky, rarely about the ones who aren't. 

 

The stories of the unlucky ones are mostly captivating, open to all kind of comments and bashing. 

 

In contrast with the "lucky" ones which are boring, and usually not open to enhanced remarks. 

 

Question is :

Which group is the real majority? 

[Tagged]

1 minute ago, luckyluke said:

We usually read on fora about people who are unlucky, rarely about the ones who aren't. 

 

The stories of the unlucky ones are mostly captivating, open to all kind of comments and bashing. 

 

In contrast with the "lucky" ones which are boring, and usually not open to enhanced remarks. 

 

Question is :

Which group is the real majority? 

And how lucky is the ones who are lucky? Happiness is not about luck, it is about have a plan, work for it, and succeed. I do not believe in luck, but hard work, and maybe a bit more open mind here in Thailand than at least where I come from. An open mind, doesnt mean swollow everything, and make exuses one the other half every time mistakes have been done. 

 

I really do have problems with the thai truth, but I have managed to work it out, and take it for what it is, but, there is a but. 

 

If you say your thai gf do not lie, then I will say to you, open your eyes, if I am going to generalise anything in Thailand, it is about the thai lies. From top of the society to bottom, everyone lies, and they lie alot. Mostly to comfort you, and do not make you think to much,,,,,,, 

[luckyluke]

39 minutes ago, Tagged said:

Thailand, it is about the thai lies. 

It take time to discern the lies, especially the comfort ones. 

I can (nearly) perceive when my wife, for 19 years, don't tell the true/all the true. 

[BestB]

The real question here is how does OP know they are asking? If anything it’s more of a case that she is the one hinting???? 

 

But no doubt she is a good girl????

[Tomahawk21]

8 hours ago, luckyluke said:

We usually read on fora about people who are unlucky, rarely about the ones who aren't. 

 

The stories of the unlucky ones are mostly captivating, open to all kind of comments and bashing. 

 

In contrast with the "lucky" ones which are boring, and usually not open to enhanced remarks. 

 

Question is :

Which group is the real majority? 

i think whether your single, married, it does not matter about the majority just be happy and healthy after that the rest is easy. good luck. 

[luckyluke]

39 minutes ago, Tomahawk21 said:

it does not matter about the majority

Maybe, but in my opinion a majority of posters  is convinced that a relation with a Thai lady is doomed to fail. 

Mostly, I suspect, based on the negative comments they read;

but again in my opinion doesn't represent the majority of the cases. 

[AlexRRR]

On 6/14/2019 at 11:44 AM, Elkski said:

Haha.  555

I come back and did not expect three pages so quickly.  I've been to Thailand many times I'm not a newbie don't have pity on me.  I'm the most skeptical analytical suspicious man there is.  I have read about all the tricks in the book.  I do not send her money monthly. I have bought her a few gifts and brought her some gifts and paid for an English class. I have seen her five different times in the last 18 months.  She has a regular job in the medical industry not high up in the pay scale but not the poorest bloke in the world. She has no debt, but also no assets. She is over the hill , over 40,  but still very beautiful and unbelievably I was her first boyfriend. Don't give me the lecture it may or may not be true but it doesn't matter to me.  She does not go to any bars, her friends do not go to bars. I know the advice is to rent not buy. I'm only 58 and a half. I could easily come to Thailand and have fun for 5 years and then still find a nice young woman but I feel this one is special and I'm not getting married yet.  Time is on my side no rush.   I can understand why a man who cooks and cleans

sounds like a cheap Charlie and that is what I am actually.  

Oh no kids.    And one time talking about support, because her co workers kept asking, i asked what would be a good  #.  10,000 came up as ok but 20,000 # was also mentioned.  I know support = love in Thailand.  

 

I've met many Thai women before her.  She is special.  We met outside emporium.  When I saw her I just had to go talk to her. Then a few days later I went to her workplace. and after 3 weeks of travels around Thailand  and I came back and asked her on a date.  She has never been on a dating site. 

But this really isn't about me and her or prostitutes or women on the take.   If she's on the take she's in the long game looking for a green card in the USA or something.  I consider myself  a above average poker player.  

 

It just seemed weird to ask how much does your Foreigner boyfriend send each month?  It's like a measure of how good of a boyfriend did you catch.  Why don't they ask how good the sex is or how nice he is or something else?

 

Think you will find its a village girl mentality.....i married an educated TG and we lived in AU for 2 ys before we split...She was pretty good even to the point of offering to pay for dinners... Anyway when she arried in AU she picked up work with in 2 days of being here in a Thai restaurant started 1 night and grew to 6 nights within 5 months...thats another story.....most of the cooks and regular staff were village women, they also hired casual staff studing here these girls were like my ex..educated...anyway not to long her being at this job...she blurts out....you should be giving me money....the village hens had been into her ear..... i said you have a job now why do you need? and mind you she didnt contribute a cent to the household the deal was she saved her money which she did....anyway i quickly shot her down she went back to being normal and no word of paying her a salary was ever mentioned again...

 

Lot of isaan woman work in BKK, and there from all walks of life...no dout your woman has a few in her office, i cant fathom why guys think they need to pay there wifes and gfs a salary...is it a control thing? maybe there saving them...god knows....after her i had a young accountant doing her masters degree was living there at the time, she had had a good career in front of her but boy....within 6 weeks of dateing she thought i should pay off her loan for her degree....and it came up a few times....and mind you the university she was going to was 3 blocks from my condo....she started ragging me about her taxi costs to come see me...i know she caught the MRT and bus to go to uni...she was that type of girl very frugal with her money, in the end i use to leave 200B on the table to cover her expenses.

 

In my experiance its all about the money.....4 TGF's later all educated as i wont put myself in a postion that a lot of other guys seem to do...its subtile....never talked about but its there lurking in the background they may never ask they may never even want...but while your with them living with them its your money for everything..only the first would offer to buy a coffee or pay for a lunch or dinner...

 

The other bit that shits me about Thai women is farang men who stupidly pay up...its now comon place and just expected and worse off these guys go over learn a few things see other dicks doing it dont see anything wrong about it and when challenged oh there poor, dont earn much etc....

 

[inThailand]

Has this thread turned into posters lying about Thais not lying?

[Elkski]

UPDATE:

I asked my girlfriend exactly who asked you how much money I send? 

it turns out it was only two people, one , a customer who happened to be at her work when I stopped by one day  to take her for lunch.  This women  had three children from a Thai man.  They are now divorced.   but I guess earlier she had an American man who sent her 30 to 50 thousand a month.  Evidently he was smart enough to dump her before marriage.  And one young coworker who isn't really friends.  So it turns out it is really not her friends or coworkers or family.  Just this a couple with possible pasts  as sex working gal. 

 

[Awinkl]

On 6/17/2019 at 8:32 PM, AlexRRR said:

Think you will find its a village girl mentality.....i married an educated TG and we lived in AU for 2 ys before we split...She was pretty good even to the point of offering to pay for dinners... Anyway when she arried in AU she picked up work with in 2 days of being here in a Thai restaurant started 1 night and grew to 6 nights within 5 months...t

 

• I commend you for your STAND - when  Thai Lady is fortunate enough t o find an overseas Sponsor - AND are able to find Local employment - they should be entitled to KEEP whatever money they earn (as you stated in you Post) ... to support their Family at home. But apart form that, thy also should learn about the customs of the West, where both partners contribute..... It seems that YOU already took care of the overall living expenses - so she should have not complained any further - for any "additional" money??