At 70 years old I’m looking for the antidote – Do you have it?

[ancharee]

13 hours ago, BritManToo said:

At 63 I've had enough and will welcome death (but not illness).

Why keep going, I've done everything I wanted.

exactly mate i'm 64 thai wife and 4 year old boy live in the jungle been there and done that, like you say when that day comes quick is better.

[khunPer]

22 hours ago, Whip Me Granny said:

Has any one here who has come to realize that they like myself are on the final stretch managed to find an antidote that at least makes you feel better , less stressed out and more acceptable of the  approaching inevitable outcome.   If you have found an antidote could you please share it 

I'm reaching 70 in a couple of months. When getting older one of course thinks about it, and begin to notice if friends falls off the line.

 

In my view, I always recall what a sweet little Thai girl said to me almost 15 years ago: »Don't think too much.« And it's not only about age, but in general in Thailand; I'm sure she was referring to the last.

 

Secondly: Stop reading "too much" about health, and especially health issues for middle aged, or elder, men.

 

For the third, I always remember one of Groucho Marx's best quotes (for our age): »It's not a question about how old you are, but how you are old.«

 

If you feel your friends are falling away, try to seek new, and preferable little younger, friends, instead of the feeling of being the last standing. I managed to get a number of younger friends, and also if one is mingling with a younger Thai partner that might included younger social circles. It actually seems to work.

 

Keeping fit, one way or the other, is very good and healthy, but it has to be something you like, not a duty. So find some kind of activity you enjoy.

 

And "enjoy" is probably the most important – apart from what comes with the genes – i.e. enjoy life, enjoy every moment. No matter hos small the moment is, it can be enjoyed.

 

As I said, I'm hardly 70, so my longevity experience is very limited, but I look at my father. He enjoyed life, every little moment; and he had numerous young friends, many half his age or younger; he never stopped his exercise sport, but changed his fellow players to be his former player's sons, when they grow too old and slowed down, because his just loved that sport, tennis it was – he had also been in competitive sport, in a total different field, figure skating, but stopped as active when he was about 80 years old – and especially the companionship and fellowship in the club house restaurant after the twice weekly exercise matches were a great part of "enjoy". I hope I can follow up with some similar longevity – enjoy life, and some happy exercise – my dad played his last tennis match the day before his 104 years birthday, so the "enjoy"-script seems to work.

 

It's almost like saying "Don't worry, be happy"...????

[Whip Me Granny]

9 hours ago, cmarshall said:

Who can keep from being interested in this topic?  I'm 70 also.  In good health, financially secure, have a loving wife on whom I know I can depend, exercise daily, watch the weight, and pursue hobbies, chief of which is learning Thai, which offers the benefit that there is always more to learn.  

 

I think the OP is doing pretty well, all things considered and he doesn't sound clinically depressed to me.  Confronting death is, among other things, to put oneself in touch with reality which is always preferable to fantasy.

 

Here's what works for me:

 

1.  pursue an activity that affords the opportunity for real progress, something hard.  Learning a language qualifies, but not doing crossword puzzles.  Seeing the success of a project that takes time and effort still gives satisfaction.

 

2.  Pay attention to the difference between what you can control and what you can't.  We can't control the past, for instance, so we should forgive ourselves our failings and all those missed opportunities.  Nor can we control our death although we should do what we can to maintain physical and mental health.  Although all of this sounds too obvious to merit comment, but when we do realize concretely what we can't control it can bring a feeling of relief.  It does to me at any rate.

 

3.  Try to do as much as possible for other people, even little things.  They, particularly the young ones, will go on after us and so we can feel a connection to the future.  Although it will inevitably be a future without us at some point, none of us regrets the time before our birth when the world was similarly deprived of our presence.  If you can contribute a little money to someone else, do that.  Takes the emphasis off ourselves.

 

4.  Keep a journal.  Your thoughts are valuable and important.

 

When we were young these things took care of themselves for the most part.  Now we have to apply what we know with some of the discipline we have picked up along the way to manage the current phase.  

 

Your opening description sounds a lot like the beginning in my first post . As for being clinically depressed I will have to look that up ????. As you are the same age as myself can I ask you this question . 

 

At night when you go to bed and lay your head on the pillow do you ever think to your self , I wonder if I’m going to wake up in the morning . I know I constantly think that thought when I turn in .

 

 

 

 

 

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[Thingamabob]

Don't spend too much time planning.  Just take things day by day. You are not alone, many of us have the same concerns as do you. Good luck.

[marcusarelus]

2 hours ago, rumak said:

Telling people that worship the medical INDUSTRY anything is like trying to get cult followers not to drink the cool aid .  Saying "maybe you should think about it....  or maybe there is another reason/answer " is like telling a zealot there is no god.   To them, doctors are the gods.  

Modern medicine saved my life once .  I am open minded ..... but not a blind follower. 

I'm a dizzy follower.  Airy fairy type told me to take CoQ10 to help with my lipitor leg cramps.  I did.  It helped.  I got so dizzy could hardly stand.  Went to the hospital to have my ear and brain checked. Nothing wrong.  Nice to know.  Started stopping all of my meds one at a time till I found the culprit.  CoQ10 and Vitamin B.  Stopped and dizzy went away next day.  Now I don't have to take the dizzy pills but I am prepared for a long sea voyage with all the medication I might need.   I don't spend any time looking at alternative medicine - some Chinese acupuncture and that sort is OK as long as the doctor has degrees in both Eastern and Western medicine.  It is enough for me to research the meds and treatment I'm getting without all that other stuff.  

Edited June 26, 2019 by marcusarelus

[marcusarelus]

6 minutes ago, Whip Me Granny said:

Your opening description sounds a lot like the beginning in my first post . As for being clinically depressed I will have to look that up ????. As you are the same age as myself can I ask you this question . 

 

At night when you go to bed and lay your head on the pillow do you ever think to your self , I wonder if I’m going to wake up in the morning . I know I constantly think that thought when I turn in .

I lay my head on my pillow and look at my wife and think, "boy honey you were a knock out the day you graduated from college."  Now 20 years later well....... 

[Whip Me Granny]

7 hours ago, 30la said:

Don't think about death, it's inevitable!
Don't stress yourself with this thought!
Try to do some meditation daily, it helps a lot!
And very important, keep living your life and enjoy every single day!
FYI: I'm 66!

I'm sorry but at my age not thinking about death is not that option  ????

Now mediation is some thing that Ive never thought about , I'm going to check that out . Ah so your 66 , what I would give to be 66 again ???? .

 

 

 

 

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[Whip Me Granny]

1 minute ago, marcusarelus said:

I lay my head on my pillow and look at my wife and think, "boy honey you were a knock out the day you graduated from college."  Now 20 years later well....... 

I wonder what your wife thinks when she turns over to look at you with your head on the pillow , can you guess what she would be thinking now 20 years later ????

 

 

 

 

 

.

[marcusarelus]

7 minutes ago, Whip Me Granny said:

I'm sorry but at my age not thinking about death is not that option  ????

Now mediation is some thing that Ive never thought about , I'm going to check that out . Ah so your 66 , what I would give to be 66 again ???? .

I think meditation is great and never harmed and only helped.  

[marcusarelus]

2 minutes ago, Whip Me Granny said:

I wonder what your wife thinks when she turns over to look at you with your head on the pillow , can you guess what she would be thinking now 20 years later ????

She is thinking the house is paid for in 2 more years.  

[chilidog]

I work away from home on a rotation 4x4. I used to get stressed and have a lot of anxiety when returning to work. You could never tell that I was feeling this way because I kept it inside. I started to meditate everyday for 15-30 min and after about a month I just felt pretty good mentaly and didn't feel the anxiety anymore.

 

  There is a Vapasana resort by my house and I went to have a look to see what its about. Its pretty full on mediation, a 10 day retreat. It had an 8 month waiting list! One day when I am not working I will find the time. There are a few around Thailand, take a look.

[Whip Me Granny]

7 hours ago, DjSiN said:

I think u answered your own question. Stay offline. Lots of stress to be had here. Some people live for it. 

Kudos to u tho u healthy old Bstd.!!

im only 48 and I’m stressed out with worry of illness etc. Mind u I’m healthy as an ox apart from a bad back. Oh, are oxen healthy!? Or strong? Haha. Anyway I get it what u are saying. 

 

Live on like any day cld be your last. That’s how do.  

48 and stressed out with worry of illness , how do you think I feel being 70 years old and never had an overnight hospital stay or any serious illnesses . Ive been spinning the sickness and hospital roulette wheel for what feels like forever and so far the little ball of life has decided to land in the '' not your turn mate '' slot . Its only a matter of time when that little ball will soon drop into the '' Oh I have a bad chest pain '' slot ,  then I open my eyes and look up at the hospital ceiling .

 

 

 

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[Whip Me Granny]

7 hours ago, balo said:

I think all you can do is to stay active until you drop.  Do what you enjoy , live a healthy lifestyle and do not think about the future. 
Maybe with some luck you can reach the grand old age of 100 ,and leave this world without too much pain 

 

But if you get a nasty disease like cancer and have to suffer for years I am not sure what I would do.  


  

Now you have brought up another topic that tends to start me biting my nails   , yes its the leave this world with out too much pain thought. I think like me every one here would want to go to sleep and just not wake up ever again ????

 

 

 

.

[rumak]

20 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I'm a dizzy follower.  Airy fairy type told me to take CoQ10 to help with my lipitor leg cramps.  I did.  It helped.  I got so dizzy could hardly stand.  Went to the hospital to have my ear and brain checked. Nothing wrong.  Nice to know.  Started stopping all of my meds one at a time till I found the culprit.  CoQ10 and Vitamin B.  Stopped and dizzy went away next day.  Now I don't have to take the dizzy pills but I am prepared for a long sea voyage with all the medication I might need.   I don't spend any time looking at alternative medicine - some Chinese acupuncture and that sort is OK as long as the doctor has degrees in both Eastern and Western medicine.  It is enough for me to research the meds and treatment I'm getting without all that other stuff.  

i would have "suggested" you take lots of magnesium and boron which i (note the I ) believe is much needed by us oldies but goodies.   I have never been accused of being an airy fairy type ...lol.... but getting more and more involved in diet and lifestyle the older i get .  Not to mention that i am currently fighting off a case of flouroquinolone toxicity ( group of antibiotics that can have very serious side effects) .  But hey, to get back on topic the OP seems to be in very good health !  Maybe that is the problem !  After a bout or two of feeling lousy one simply wishes for a good BM and to be able to walk the dog without pain.   And of course

a little less stress from the bloodhounds on TV .

[rumak]

4 minutes ago, Whip Me Granny said:

Now you have brought up another topic that tends to start me biting my nails   , yes its the leave this world with out too much pain thought. I think like me every one here would want to go to sleep and just not wake up ever again ????

 

 

 

.

well,  not tonight i hope

[Whip Me Granny]

7 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Sleep disorder is a fairly common reason for prescription of anti-depressants. I was on them for years. I didn't like the way they dulled my mind.

Lack of sleep is a vicious cycle. My solution now - I have been off anti-depressants for several years. If my mind is too active, I get up and do something in preference to simply lying in bed awake.

Twice a week, I take a drowsy antihistamine - Codiphen. It gives me 10 hours of sleep.

My dear wife some times calls me Panda Eyes , for a long time now Ive noticed that I have dark looking circles under the eyes , and when I go to bed that's when my mind goes into full overdrive . I just can't seem to stop thinking all sorts of negative things. ????

 

 

 

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[chicowoodduck]

I hit the BIG 7-0 this year and just try my best to live in the moment.....maybe each day is a blessing, but never take one for granted.....just keep moving forward and try not to fall on my face too often....lol...????

[Whip Me Granny]

7 minutes ago, rumak said:

well,  not tonight i hope

Lets hope not ????

 

 

.

[swissie]

I don't like this getting old/dying business. Even "positive thinkers" must notice that physical and mental capabilities are diminishing with every passing year. (What's good about that?)
Some try to stem the tide by forced physical/mental activity.
"Live for the NOW" is often recommended here. Hard to enjoy the "now", if one suffers from Fibromyalgie like I do.
- Of course, all living things must die. So far so good. But the remarkable thing is, that we are the only living organism that knows that "Death" is inevitable. My dog knows nothing about it (I asked him).
If all this is part of a plan of a "Creator", he must have a particular sense of humor.
------------------------------------------------------
OP asks for an "Antidote". Here it is: Become a religious person! Convince yourself that after Death you will join the heavenly brigades eternally. How is that for an Antidote? Works for Billions. All others (at the end of their lives) will be condemmned to ask "What was this all about"? I will be one of the latter.

[Whip Me Granny]

7 hours ago, Surasak said:

Nothing more sure than taxes and death. Take each day as it comes. If you wake up in the morning, count your blessings. No point worrying about something inevitable. BTW, I'm told you know when you're dead.

Ah the '' if you wake up in the morning '' syndrome . I wonder what would happen if we humans were born with a small built in neurological button positioned on the back of our neck . The button would give you a one time only non reversible option to press it . You could use the button if you became too stressed out to carry on or just fed up with your life or any other scenario where pressing the button seems a better idea than carrying on , Now there's a frightening thought ????

[PatrickMcHargue]

There's always Alcor (https://alcor.org/)  Not a solution for now, but maybe later...

[Chazar]

12 hours ago, Whip Me Granny said:

Ive seen the word Antidepressant used . I was wondering if there's some thing I could take that would have the same calming effect , some thing to make me less stressed out and more able to dismiss my fears , other than getting a doctor to prescribe a drug. Have you come across any thing that would fit the bill?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Yep midazolam, propofol, diazepam, diphenhydramine, promethazine, meperidine, andfentanyl. Have it at my dentist in the UK, Jesusssss does it make you feel great!!!

[Chazar]

7 hours ago, Whip Me Granny said:

Any one here who had parents that lived a long life span , do you think that because your parents survived for that long period of time , then your family genetics may in some way be a positive thing in helping you to follow the family history of longevity .

 

 

 

 

 

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Mum 91  still  alive just cant get rid of her for the inheritance, Dad died at 87 almost at the summit of Everest..................... well you need a  laugh in life!!

[mommysboy]

Stressing out is really dangerous when you are older, because it increases blood pressure.  You need to honestly take a look at your lifestyle, to see if you are getting enough mild exercise, good nutrition, and adequate sleep. Drinking is inadvisable in any quantity. 

 

Have you thought about anti-anxiety pills.  Not only will they calm you down, but they will help you to examine your problems in a less uncomfortable way.

[myjawe]

still 30 years to go at least if you are 70, so why worrying ?

 

 

[kevvy]

Act your age and accept getting old gracefully. Spend time with people who are your  age, older than you, younger than you, and a lot younger than you.  Especially enjoy the time you spend with people in their 30's 40's and 50's it is great to engage with people who have grown up in a different world than we grew up in, and to understand their lives , their ups and downs , their ideas and  expectations. Try  to be as happy, silly,crazy, and excited as you want to be until the day you die.  And if anyone looks at you and asks why are you acting this way , just let them know that this is what getting old looks like.I have many friends at my local church and have fun with all ages.I am 65 and love life . Life has been great for me, And when I die I know that I have the best years of my life when I hit 60. 

[johnmcc6]

Well you can be (deleted) by the fickle finger of fate, or rammed by the rigid rod of reality at any moment. Relax until it is your turn then deal with it. My best friend has a saying that even the bad times are good. It shows you are still alive.

[whaleboneman]

17 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Cheer up. You probably still have Eskimos, Bantus and Mexicans to go.

Oh crap. I forgot to do a Bantu.

[swissie]

5 hours ago, Thomas J said:

Seems, that Expats increasingly suffer from "stress". No wonder. Visa Reg's getting more stringent. Exchange-Rates suck. Thai wifes getting more demanding. The Beach is getting dirtier by the week.

- Old Pattaya remedy: The healing powers of "Beer-Chang" have long been established, especially in combination with 4 Alka-Selzers the next morning.

Must be the cure: You see far more medicinal worshipers of Beer-Chang than Farangs breaking down the doors of local Pharmacies, asking for "mind-stabilizing-pharmaceuticals". Stress & (controlled) fun-management Pattaya Style. Worked for the last 50 years.

[DaRoadrunner]

An old Chinaman told me the secret of longevity. He said, "get a young girl in your bed.".... I did, and it nearly killed me. At least I shall die happy.