How do thai guys save enough for marriage?

[NCC1701A]

i am not sure which troll post i like better, this or the "I am inhering a large sum, should I tell my Thai wife?" 

[neeray]

Gawd, did I luck out or what! None of this crap with mine or her little family. I help out voluntarily and always receive gracious thanks. Never a push for more.

 

Hope the lights come on for "pooh bear" and that it all works out. Sounds expensive!

[BestB]

6 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

can you imagine if the op is telling the truth and reading these comments? 

 

i hope he doesn't jump.

They said hookers only work in the bars , they said educated girls are honest and good, they said it’s true love????

[Solidpoo]

8 hours ago, Davo369 said:

Are you having a laugh.......

NO, I'm not and I'm not trolling. Is the story that ridiculous ? i mean marriages on average are expensive everywhere.  

 

7 hours ago, mstevens said:

The sin sod you have agreed to pay is definitely on the high side for a lady who is living in a village in a poor part of the country. At her age she should be either in education or working and you should not be required to support her other than perhaps topping up her salary a little.

 

Another concern I have is that you say you send money to support her and her family. Why are you not with her? Not being critical here as I am sure you have your reasons, but it does seem rather unusual to not be with the lady you're engaged to.

 

I wasn't aware its on the high side, from what I've gathered (through the web) the average is about 100kbaht to 500k baht. and i still got told (250k) was on the low end.

 

Also had to take in account she's the only uni graduate in her family, so they've invested a lot in her and likely have their hopes on her. I'm pretty much taking that away (she'll follow me back after our marriage). 

I do visit her every month or every few months.

 

1 hour ago, Skallywag said:

Wow - so you have been working 2 years - how many times have you been to Thailand?   Mid-20's, will you work and live in Thailand after marriage?

No way in hell I'll ever work there. Honestly could write a whole book on why.

 

Wouldn't live there either. Hot, polluted, loud, inconvenient. And i honestly believe theres something off with the water there. They've got a high gay population.

 

2 hours ago, KiChakayan said:

It is funny anyone would come here to ask for advice.

yeh, should've seen the trolls coming.

Still, there are some really good advice/sharing. Thanks all for that !

 

There's still no answers for qns 2, anyone?

[mike787]

4 hours ago, Puchaiyank said:

Imagine a vampire sucking the blood from your body!  Now, you make your break and run fast as you can before all the life is gone from your body...

 

Get the picture?   Don't look back you may be hypnotized once again...

 

Be smart...you need a fresh start...????

Vampires are sucking us expats dry here 24/7/365 with NO end in sight.  There is already another 1000 like him coming and will not stop letting women suck them dry.  And all for what?  Someone to coddle them and a vagina.

[marcusarelus]

4 minutes ago, mike787 said:

Vampires are sucking us expats dry here 24/7/365 with NO end in sight.  There is already another 1000 like him coming and will not stop letting women suck them dry.  And all for what?  Someone to coddle them and a vagina.

Are you expecting sympathy because a Thai farm girl can out think the big bad Farang?

[mike787]

4 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Are you expecting sympathy because a Thai farm girl can out think the big bad Farang?

A= My definition of Sympathy is to be found in the dictionary between S**T and Syphilis.  So NO, none for me.  Keep it for others. 

[NCC1701A]

9 hours ago, Solidpoo said:

2) she wants a bullion for her tong mun, since she doesnt wear jewellry. So im thinking of getting a 100g PAMP bar. Could i bring it into thailand as a carry on item ? Or would i have to buy it there? 

Thais don't understand gold from outside thailand. too hard to apprase.

[stereolab]

8 hours ago, Mikisteel said:

I don't believe a word of this and if you ever been in a crappy Thai village you will realise they all talk sh%t. Comparing Litrually anything they can think of like 9 year olds. Crappy issan villages not really a good example of Thailand at all IMO.

 

 

You should not give a single damn as regards the thoughts of village neighbors. They have too much time on their hands, and too little to do, bar swing on their hammocks.

[marcusarelus]

I bought 4 gold bars in Thailand for the wedding and got them and all the cash back 20 minutes after the photos were taken.  This is standard for a Thai uni grad from the sticks in Issan. 

[a3tsw]

24 minutes ago, Solidpoo said:

 

 

No way in hell I'll ever work there. Honestly could write a whole book on why.

 

And i honestly believe theres something off with the water there. They've got a high gay population.

 

 ????????????????????

[spidermike007]

First of all a Thai man would only pay that amount of sin sod if she was a from a hi so family, that was already wealthy. 300,000 for a common girl is nearly unheard of. And 120,000 of gold? So, a Thai guy would never find himself in this predicament, and would pay 100,000 at most, for a gal who was not university educated, or from a family with money. The 500,000 baht stuff is absolute nonsense, rubbish, and happened a few times in history, and the word got around. It is the work of dreamers. You are the opposite of cheap. You are paying a literal fortune, for her hand in marriage. 

[NCC1701A]

I have had a change of heart on this subject. When I turn 70 I think I will marry a Uni girl. 

I will follow this topic now looking for advice.

[NCC1701A]

1 hour ago, Solidpoo said:

Also had to take in account she's the only uni graduate in her family, so they've invested a lot in her and likely have their hopes on her.

did you check her teeth?

[Puchaiyank]

1 hour ago, mike787 said:

Vampires are sucking us expats dry here 24/7/365 with NO end in sight.  There is already another 1000 like him coming and will not stop letting women suck them dry.  And all for what?  Someone to coddle them and a vagina.

Precisely, I pay a premium to have my blood sucked by a vampire...on demand...Vampire has never said no!!!   ????

[Tayaout]

I got married too. I'm 37 and my wife 26 university educated. The family did not expect anything but I gave 50,000. My wife use my money (i told her to stop working since the pay did not make any difference) but have a hard time spending 5K/month. I spend way more than this... My wife sister got pregnant and the father just flew away. So a lot of Thai men simply don't have to pay at all. We live in rural central Thailand. You are paying way too much and will probably feel the pain later. 

Edited July 26, 2019 by Tayaout

[Solidpoo]

2 hours ago, Tayaout said:

(i told her to stop working since the pay did not make any difference) but have a hard time spending 5K/month. I spend way more than this... My wife sister got pregnant and the father just flew away. So a lot of Thai men simply don't have to pay at all. We live in rural central Thailand. 

Same situation. 

 

2 hours ago, Tayaout said:

You are paying way too much and will probably feel the pain later. 

Thanks, after reading most of the posts i realise i need to be more cautious with my money. 

 

Not to mention renovation for her parent's 30 year old house seem to be resting on my shoulders (probably after marrying). Despite having 3 older working siblings, which should be contributing to her parent's income. All i got when asked why aren't your siblings helping out with finances, atleast for changing of the roof or doors was "you dont understand", "sister/brother no sabai", "my family not same your family". 

[mike787]

5 hours ago, Puchaiyank said:

Precisely, I pay a premium to have my blood sucked by a vampire...on demand...Vampire has never said no!!!   ????

I love it!  You have the best sense of humor....THX for the laughs!!!  I'll try and follow your advice as often as I can.  

[mike787]

2 hours ago, Solidpoo said:

Not to mention renovation for her parent's 30 year old house seem to be resting on my shoulders (probably after marrying)

WHY is it your responsibility to fund anything???  When she says " you don't understand" Tell her/them, yeah, you're right, I don't understand, so I don't pay.  Try and explain it to me.  Break it down real simple and slow.  See what happens then.  Call her trump card.  You decide what you want to do, it is your money and life.  I'm just saying....

[marcusarelus]

2 minutes ago, mike787 said:

WHY is it your responsibility to fund anything???  When she says " you don't understand" Tell her/them, yeah, you're right, I don't understand, so I don't pay.  Try and explain it to me.  Break it down real simple and slow.  See what happens then.  Call her trump card.  You decide what you want to do, it is your money and life.  I'm just saying....

When you get married it's your wife's money.  Any country the girls are raised to think this and act like they've been shot if this does not take place.  I have girl children and I never told them but they all feel this way.  They get the paycheck and give the guys an allowance.  

[Number 6]

It's been a long time since we've had one of these hasn't it?

 

You need to exit the relationship. You're a cash cow. She might love you but you're money is obviously in her sites. As someone who is married to a Thai woman who has never demanded a satang in ten years - you're getting played.

 

I gave 50k to her parents.
Happy to do so. Not a tical since. My mil is crazy, fil pretty cool. Simple folk. Honest, decent people. I'm lucky. A poor but hardworking, good family. They're savers too ????

 

Edited July 26, 2019 by Number 6

[mike787]

2 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

When you get married it's your wife's money.  Any country the girls are raised to think this and act like they've been shot if this does not take place.  I have girl children and I never told them but they all feel this way.  They get the paycheck and give the guys an allowance.  

...And that's the beauty of "Forums", a venue where people exchange perspectives.  Sometimes we will agree, other times agree to disagree, but hopefully gain a greater understanding of ourselves and others. 

[mike787]

19 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

When you get married it's your wife's money.  Any country the girls are raised to think this and act like they've been shot if this does not take place.  I have girl children and I never told them but they all feel this way.  They get the paycheck and give the guys an allowance.  

WHY is it HER money?  What law?  Who determines it is her money?  "Must" it be HER money?  WHY is not my money?  It was or is MY money since I earned it legally - right!  Do I have to give her MY money?  I do not understand, but I am trying to.  Who can explain this?  Anyone? Is it because I do not have a vagina?  Do I need a vagina to keep MY earned money? Where can I obtain a vagina?  Can anyone see where this is going?  Has anyone bothered to ask these questions, open a dialogue, or do we just proceed through life applying "binary" logic...asleep/unaware doing what others tell us or dictate?  Just asking!   

Edited July 27, 2019 by mike787

[dotpoom]

On 7/26/2019 at 2:06 AM, amykat said:

They are taking advantage of your low self esteem ...you are trying too hard to please them and not aware of what you have to offer.  Thais always like to use peer pressure to make you feel bad, they also like to make you feel bad for motivation for some reason.   Rather than thanking you.

 

They are negotiating and will keep asking for more as long as you keep saying yes.  Your final yes in your mind, means to them, that they did not ask for enough, because they did not hear NO yet.

 

I would start to complain and lower the amount each time your gf speaks about it.  Or say you must lower your monthly payment to her now to save for it.  Why does Mom need more gold, you just gave gold?  If she needs gold buy it out of the 20K you give each month ....<deleted>?  You should probably just dump these people, you are on a bad path that will only get worse!!  But if you insist on keeping them, better learn how to negotiate hard and get some backbone or they will eat you alive as they have started.

 

And why are you sending so much money to her?  That is what old men send to hookers who are on their payroll???  And that is a big payment!!!  You don’t need to do that ...why don’t you find a girl your age who can earn money and share life with you, not suck you down the tubes????

And that's coming from an "expert".

[alfalfa19]

I guess you're fishing for some attention?  Your life must be very empty. 

[APJ291]

I’m sure she is getting married and your paying for the wedding and planning ahead... 

 

Question is...

 

Is she gonna marry you or has she got another Thai Fella lined up?

 

Good Luck with that one...

[marin]

On 7/26/2019 at 3:15 PM, Solidpoo said:

All i got when asked why aren't your siblings helping out with finances, atleast for changing of the roof or doors was "you dont understand", "sister/brother no sabai", "my family not same your family". 

I was going to keep quite till I read this. Think about it. You are being played. Why cant the brothers help? They are different. Scammers they see right where the money is going to come from. From your actions they are only going to try and get more and more and more.  I too have never heard of giving anything for an engagement.  Again think have you ever met a family that would say something like that? Then you accept it at face value. Sorry to be so harsh, but trying to save you mental and financial pain in the future.  My guess is you dont speak Thai so have no real idea what they feel about you..

Edited July 28, 2019 by marin

[justin case]

what do you do to earn 100k baht ? tell us please, I want in ???? 

[Matzzon]

According to the cultural tradition and the use of sin sod, that is only a thing for show. A thing that only supposed to look good.
This can be borrowed money or money coming from anywhere. Mostly the sin sod is given back to the couple after the marriage is done, with the exception of that 5-10% of the original amount can be given as well as one piece of gold for the brides mother.

[hellohello123]

On 7/26/2019 at 5:21 AM, RotBenz8888 said:

Can you post a picture of her, we can help you judge how much she's worth.

Please oh please dont let it be this one!