thai girl friend ( in making ) never texts first...is it a "thai" thing

[Hummin]

3 hours ago, toto69toto said:

It has crossed my mind, to be honest, that's why I do this "withdrawal test" , to make sure. But what puzzled me is that every time I write and talk to her, she states how she misses me and is waiting for me and not talking to anybody but me...hence the question ;is it a "thai" thing to not be able to say straight  - sorry , I don't like you anymore -...after all she could just block me or unfriend me etc. or just find some excuse reason  for me to not write her anymore.

Or, she know how to play the game, always keep you hungry for some attention!

[RichardColeman]

I know many people will pooh pooh the idea of meeting someone online - and yes it is fraught with doubt, possible lies and worries. And it's 100% understandable the scepticism people give it.

 

BUT, I actually met my wife online, and grew close to her even though we had never met. We met after about 2 months, and married 20 days later. We have been together 3 years and have a daughter. She is the most kind , considerate and most suitable person I have ever met in my life.

 

Now my wife, was NOT a bar girl, not 20-30 years younger than me. She had a good university education and was a school teacher by trade.

 

I would be concerned however if the person you are contacting is a bar girl.

 

So it does work - if you are very, very , very lucky

[Hummin]

18 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

I know many people will pooh pooh the idea of meeting someone online - and yes it is fraught with doubt, possible lies and worries. And it's 100% understandable the scepticism people give it.

 

BUT, I actually met my wife online, and grew close to her even though we had never met. We met after about 2 months, and married 20 days later. We have been together 3 years and have a daughter. She is the most kind , considerate and most suitable person I have ever met in my life.

 

Now my wife, was NOT a bar girl, not 20-30 years younger than me. She had a good university education and was a school teacher by trade.

 

I would be concerned however if the person you are contacting is a bar girl.

 

So it does work - if you are very, very , very lucky

Did you two fell in love, or it was just plain "I like you, lets be together" decission? 

[toto69toto]

OK, I think I've got my answer. It's not a typical thing, to not initiate a ( text messaging ) conversation. I'll deal with the "psychology " of the situation.

 

It is though remarkable what kind of burst of fire this, otherwise simple question, unleashed...

   I have heard and read lot of stories and similar "cases" to the ones you mention here. I'm aware of the whole sponsor thing and if i was sure, that this is the case I wouldn't write here. Quite few things are different from the usual scenario. When I say "we met online" I mean I haven't seen her in person yet.Only online communication ,we didn't meet on a dating site. I found her by accident , because she has a facebook page selling clothes and her pictures there got my attention. 

  As I mentioned , things were looking different from what I've heard about the "holiday girlfriend". Some of you got it wrong-it's not that she's not responding to my texts.As I said, she was always responding  to my texts and answering the video calls whenever was possible to talk.We talked every day. Just, that I noticed that she never writes first or calls , so I started to wonder what would happen if I just don't write first... is it so that she's just to polite to tell me to stop bothering her and wanted to wait up for me to " get the idea". 

  Now that it's the second day that none of us has texted or called, and reading what many of you say, I'm puzzled. 

If she is what most of you state, if she wants my sponsorship and doesn't want to lose me , why doesn't she text or call to keep me up, especially now that she knows that " the fish is in the net"...

 

As I said, I'll do the thinking from here on. 

How easy it would be if I knew from the start, that she's exactly the  "holiday sex girlfriend" type and I would be ok with it without having any other illusions. 

Thanks to you all for your comments and advices. Take care.

 

 

[richard_smith237]

4 minutes ago, toto69toto said:

It is though remarkable what kind of burst of fire this, otherwise simple question, unleashed...

 

It was perhaps because of the simplicity of the question asked by an adult that the en-masse 'burst of fire' was unleashed.... 

 

The take away is... If she's not texting you without a prompt, she's just not into you. 

 

The fact that she is telling you she is into just means she's ready to 'play the game'... as another poster put it, you are just 'another fish in a barrel'

 

Play it as you will from here on in, personally, I'd advise a friend to walk away or at the very least ensure they don't get emotionally attached. 

 

 

[toto69toto]

24 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

It was perhaps because of the simplicity of the question asked by an adult that the en-masse 'burst of fire' was unleashed.... 

Not only from this thread, but from many other sources, have I found out how strange, illogical and hard to comprehend, very often, Thai people could be, let alone Thai women, for us Europeans. Even though I had my thoughts and explanation , I decided to ask some experienced people's opinion. 

....and I meant the fire unleashed toward Thai women/girls...

Edited August 23, 2019 by toto69toto

[Destiny1990]

Look nobody here wants to tell you this but in her mind Thai soap tv can be a lot more tempting then texting with you.

[Inn Between]

I really think the OP is a bit of troll bait, but I'll nibble at it and only say that she's too busy juggling her mugs (in the UK slang meaning) to initiate any messages -- only time to respond to her bevy of "sponsors". 

[samsensam]

 

the tone and style of the OP would suggest a troll, ignore.

[toto69toto]

4 minutes ago, Inn Between said:

I really think the OP is a bit of troll bait, but I'll nibble at it and only say that she's too busy juggling her mugs (in the UK slang meaning) to initiate any messages -- only time to respond to her bevy of "sponsors". 

Not a troll, dear...but...don't see anyway to prove you wrong. What would I possibly gain with such question? I don't advertise anything, nor do i ask for any privat details or whatever...

[toto69toto]

4 minutes ago, samsensam said:

 

the tone and style of the OP would suggest a troll, ignore.

What "tone" and what "style". A little to paranoid, aren't we?  Can you please post a definition for TROLL in this forum.After all if you read already the topic, my question was asked and answered. 

[Inn Between]

10 minutes ago, toto69toto said:

Not a troll, dear...but...don't see anyway to prove you wrong. What would I possibly gain with such question? I don't advertise anything, nor do i ask for any privat details or whatever...

Okay, I believe you, but this type of situation comes up with such frequency, I think we sometimes can't believe that people aren't up to speed on the subject. That's not a criticism toward you -- just an explanation of my assumption. 

 

I'm sure you're aware that many Thai women string many men along for financial support, and you'll be going into with both eyes wide open, so my only advise would be to keep them open and look for the signs that you're not her only beau. 

 

 

Edited August 23, 2019 by Inn Between

[toto69toto]

1 minute ago, Inn Between said:

Okay, I believe you, but this type of situation comes up with such frequency, I think we sometimes can't believe that people aren't up to speed on the subject. That's not a criticism toward you -- just an explanation of my assumption. 

 

I'm sure you're aware that many Thai women string many men along for financial support, so you'll be going into with both eyes wide open, so my only advise would be to keep them open and look for the signs that you're not her only beau. 

Thanks, as I wrote before and hopefully more people would read it here again. I AM AWARE of course. Only that here the situation is different, at least I was made to believe so and the circumstances are different as well.Or shall I say: before this thread I was sure she's not a bar girl ( still am 100%) and a decent girl, with own business etc. It was a simple question ,that I had no one else to ask and , again, as I said, I received even a brighter variety of answers than expected. Plus got a troll label. Shortly, I got it! Don't even know why am I still reading here.Cheers.

[richard_smith237]

1 hour ago, toto69toto said:

....and I meant the fire unleashed toward Thai women/girls...

 

It doesn't take much for that to happen...  it does seem that there is a disproportionate number of ThaiVisa.com's more vociferous posters who express somewhat extreme misogynistic, bigoted and racist tendencies...  Although in this case it would appear you are being 'gamed' and those misogynistic, bigoted and racist tendencies perhaps originated under circumstances similar to which you now face... 

 

 

[Traubert]

2 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

the girl that just left my house i know very well, she got two texts while we were fornicating and i said without breaking stride, "She text you later, she busy." and she burst out laughing. then we got right back into rhythm.

Grandkids needed picking up from badminton class? ????

[NCC1701A]

5 minutes ago, Traubert said:

Grandkids needed picking up from badminton class? ????

I know now not to ask.

[toto69toto]

6 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

It doesn't take much for that to happen...  it does seem that there is a disproportionate number of ThaiVisa.com's more vociferous posters who express somewhat extreme misogynistic, bigoted and racist tendencies...  Although in this case it would appear you are being 'gamed' and those misogynistic, bigoted and racist tendencies perhaps originated under circumstances similar to which you now face... 

 

 

Got it ...I agree...also; that very line of mine you quoted, got me the " troll" label. Obviously the spirit here is "about THEM-bad or nothing. Honestly, I regret asking this question here... 

[Inn Between]

27 minutes ago, toto69toto said:

Thanks, as I wrote before and hopefully more people would read it here again. I AM AWARE of course. Only that here the situation is different, at least I was made to believe so and the circumstances are different as well.Or shall I say: before this thread I was sure she's not a bar girl ( still am 100%) and a decent girl, with own business etc. It was a simple question ,that I had no one else to ask and , again, as I said, I received even a brighter variety of answers than expected. Plus got a troll label. Shortly, I got it! Don't even know why am I still reading here.Cheers.

It's a forum full of many harsh comments and often ones short of subtlety. As you've seen, some responses are sensible, some are ridiculous, and many are just plain nasty. I really don't think there's any other forum on the planet with as many heavily opinionated members as this one. I think some people get a "Thaivisa" attitude when they log on that actually portrays them as being much crustier than they really are. 

 

As for an answer to your original question, it seems that you've made your interest in her very clear and have made all the efforts to stay in communication. You've even gone to the point of booking a flight to visit her. You've done a lot, and it sounds like she's done little if anything. That may be shyness, lack of time, or other situations that restrict her from carrying on a dialogue, but for me it would sound a loud warning. It's just simply not promising behaviour when we consider that communication is the key to a successful partnership. 

 

 

That's my 2 cents for what it's worth. Of course, only you can decide how much time, effort and expense you want to put into this. I would advise visiting Thailand if it interests you and take the opportunity to meet this woman, but keep your eyes and mind open with a priority of not being one of the many who have been financially and emotionally bankrupt by the charms and curves of a Thai woman. 

 

 

Edited August 23, 2019 by Inn Between

[mike787]

You need/want her far more than she wants you.  Give her $$$$$ she what happens, then stop to reassess. 

[toto69toto]

7 minutes ago, Inn Between said:

As for an answer to your original question, it seems that you've made your interest in her very clear and have made all the efforts to stay in communication. You've even gone to the point of booking a flight to visit her. You've done a lot, and it sounds like she's done little if anything. That may be shyness, lack of time, or other situations that restrict her from carrying on a dialogue, but for me it would sound a loud warning. It's just simply not promising behaviour when we consider that communication is the key to a successful partnership. 

Thanks again. This is so far the most reasonable answer, even though it's more like an analysis to why she's not writing first. I appreciate it. I have a few of those on my own. My main interest was to find out if there was such thing as: Don't worry all thai girls are like this, they wait for you to write...or the one that the first guy wrote ( was it Kummit-don't see his name now)... no, it's not a thai thing and if she don't write , she's not into you...that's it. In that case , then money it is ????  BUT, I'm sure most of those guys venting out here and just doing the "guy at the bar talk", think the same what you wrote, but didn't bother with the "velvet" approach and just gave me the wet rag slap ???? Well, I can take it, it's all right. Cheers and all the best.Thanks again for this nice and civilised comment.

[Enoon]

 

5 hours ago, toto69toto said:

I mean how far it would go for her to not write to me, because she knows for sure I’m coming ( ticket not refundable plus hotel etc. ) Could some one so innocent looking insist to my face ( video chat) that she’s only talking to me and counting the days etc...she might thought I’m sure fish in the net...don’t know. It was looking all so...sincere 

 

You can't move for clunge in Thailand and you're worried that she might not be "the one"?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 23, 2019 by Enoon

[Hummin]

9 hours ago, toto69toto said:

Thanks again. This is so far the most reasonable answer, even though it's more like an analysis to why she's not writing first. I appreciate it. I have a few of those on my own. My main interest was to find out if there was such thing as: Don't worry all thai girls are like this, they wait for you to write...or the one that the first guy wrote ( was it Kummit-don't see his name now)... no, it's not a thai thing and if she don't write , she's not into you...that's it. In that case , then money it is ????  BUT, I'm sure most of those guys venting out here and just doing the "guy at the bar talk", think the same what you wrote, but didn't bother with the "velvet" approach and just gave me the wet rag slap ???? Well, I can take it, it's all right. Cheers and all the best.Thanks again for this nice and civilised comment.

You just have to ask yourself, how you wanted to be treated when interested in some one, but we are pretty much alike all of us. We want what we cant have, and find those who is to energitic, bothersome I think the world is. It is not a rule, but I thin it is a green line. 

[Mavideol]

your must be young.... with a little more experience you would know how the girls work, 4 weeks ( didn't met personally) messaging and you fall for each other, 555

[OneMoreFarang]

Where is this online place where you met her?

I also want a girl like that who loves me.

And if she doesn't text me first that great. Then I don't have to invite some excuse for my wife why I receive so many messages.

 

[Vacuum]

15 hours ago, SteveK said:

Boom. 99% chance that this is the case. I would bet my left ball on it.

You should be very careful before you make your next bet...

[Traubert]

10 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

I know now not to ask.

Least said soonest mended, sir. ????

[AlexRRR]

18 hours ago, toto69toto said:

I mean how far it would go for her to not write to me, because she knows for sure I’m coming ( ticket not refundable plus hotel etc. ) Could some one so innocent looking insist to my face ( video chat) that she’s only talking to me and counting the days etc...she might thought I’m sure fish in the net...don’t know. It was looking all so...sincere 

Every second Thai woman says "i miss you", and most wont message you first untill they well and trully know you, you better keep the contact up or she will be off with someone else pretty quick...

 

You havent got anything untill you meet up a few times...meaning several vists to Thailand, hope you did your home work on her with a few vid calls thrown in.

[bwpage3]

20 hours ago, toto69toto said:

OK, I think I've got my answer. It's not a typical thing, to not initiate a ( text messaging ) conversation. I'll deal with the "psychology " of the situation.

 

It is though remarkable what kind of burst of fire this, otherwise simple question, unleashed...

   I have heard and read lot of stories and similar "cases" to the ones you mention here. I'm aware of the whole sponsor thing and if i was sure, that this is the case I wouldn't write here. Quite few things are different from the usual scenario. When I say "we met online" I mean I haven't seen her in person yet.Only online communication ,we didn't meet on a dating site. I found her by accident , because she has a facebook page selling clothes and her pictures there got my attention. 

  As I mentioned , things were looking different from what I've heard about the "holiday girlfriend". Some of you got it wrong-it's not that she's not responding to my texts.As I said, she was always responding  to my texts and answering the video calls whenever was possible to talk.We talked every day. Just, that I noticed that she never writes first or calls , so I started to wonder what would happen if I just don't write first... is it so that she's just to polite to tell me to stop bothering her and wanted to wait up for me to " get the idea". 

  Now that it's the second day that none of us has texted or called, and reading what many of you say, I'm puzzled. 

If she is what most of you state, if she wants my sponsorship and doesn't want to lose me , why doesn't she text or call to keep me up, especially now that she knows that " the fish is in the net"...

 

As I said, I'll do the thinking from here on. 

How easy it would be if I knew from the start, that she's exactly the  "holiday sex girlfriend" type and I would be ok with it without having any other illusions. 

Thanks to you all for your comments and advices. Take care.

 

 

Sometimes the truth hurts.

 

And if you don't listen to the wealth of experience on here, you will join the list of 1,000's of others that said the same thing as you. It's different.

 

You are lost in a delusion right now with someone you cannot verify 100% is telling the truth or not?

 

"There are quite a few things different", you are talking yourself into believing they are different.

 

The fact is, as you should already know, people can claim anything they want online. 

 

Out of 55 million FB profiles you find a Thai girl selling clothes?

 

Were you on FB searching for Thai Women's Clothing? That is laughable at best.

 

She doesn't text or call you to keep up is because you are nobody.

 

She is busy with someone else currently. You are doing her a favor. She doesn't have to sneak around

texting you.

 

She keeps you on the hook and if she even decides to meet you and sleep with you? It won't be free and it won't be love?

 

Ask her to text you at all hours of the day or night when she could be with someone else and watch the excuses come flying. 

 

Don't be that guy that comes to Thailand and gets burnt.

 

Just don't be that guy!

Edited August 24, 2019 by bwpage3

[ylmiri]

You are lucky you got a lady. I had this gay thai man who was so nice to me, at first I didn't know he was gay because he doesn't look like one or behave like one. And he didn't show any sexual interest.

 However when I got a new girl friend and he saw the photo, he started to shout abuse at me. Saying i am an old man and my <deleted> is not hard anymore , all sort of things.

So I had to block the whatsupp on the phone.

 

[dabhand]

12 minutes ago, ylmiri said:

You are lucky you got a lady. I had this gay thai man who was so nice to me, at first I didn't know he was gay because he doesn't look like one or behave like one. And he didn't show any sexual interest.

 However when I got a new girl friend and he saw the photo, he started to shout abuse at me. Saying i am an old man and my <deleted> is not hard anymore , all sort of things.

So I had to block the whatsupp on the phone.

 

Too much information......