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The getting old curse – How are you dealing with it?


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IMHO beliefs in an afterlife or reincarnation are rather pathetic cries for relevance and meaning. There is no factual evidence to support them. Only myths and legends.

When an anaesthetist renders me unconscious for routine surgery every six months, the interval between going under and waking up in the recovery room is a total blank for me. No dreams, visions or perceptions. It's what I imagine death to be like - the absence of everything.

We only get one life, so we should make the most of it. For dust thou art, and to dust you shall return.

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12 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

IMHO beliefs in an afterlife or reincarnation are rather pathetic cries for relevance and meaning. There is no factual evidence to support them. Only myths and legends.

When an anaesthetist renders me unconscious for routine surgery every six months, the interval between going under and waking up in the recovery room is a total blank for me. No dreams, visions or perceptions. It's what I imagine death to be like - the absence of everything.

We only get one life, so we should make the most of it. For dust thou art, and to dust you shall return.

Yes-but are we as a species really able to contemplate our own personal extinction?

Like soldiers in a trench we are certainly able to visualize the extinction of others (him-but not me..) but could we ever go "over the top" if our self extinction was assured?

After all we know that we will (hopefully) recover from the anaesthetic and that "being" is the only yardstick we can use when contemplating "nothingness".

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12 hours ago, Nyezhov said:

I fire up a bowl, take a walk, take some pics, eat a steak or something good and then go to a GoGo/Mixx/Thermae after taking my meds. That way if I dont wake up the next morning, I had a good time the day before. Keeps me going fine.

You are as young as the girl you are feeling!

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8 hours ago, stereolab said:

I will be 66 next week, all this weekend I looked after our 4 year old niece, running around the garden out at the weekly market playground. Tomorrow morning 0800 hours will go cut grass for 2 hours, late afternoon another 2 hours grass cutting. Next week after our gardens and farm are up to scratch I can get back out on my bicycle. It helps that I am teetotal and a non-smoker. I do however love KitKats.

Sounds like living death to me. Like a failed suburbanite in an orwell novel.

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38 minutes ago, steven100 said:

And now the end is near so I face the final curtain, my friends I'll say it clear i'll state my case for which I am certain.

I've lived a life that's full, I travelled each and every highway.

Steven, you quoting your bestest pals theme song...... My way.

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The brain says do this but the body says no. I try to explain this using the Duracell rabbit and the batteries that operate it.  Come 50 y they replace one Duracell battery with a no name one. At 60 they replace the other Duracell battery. At 65 someone steals one no name battery. At 70 you are wondering where to buy batteries from.

 

Take care.

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The brain says do this but the body says no. I try to explain this using the Duracell rabbit and the batteries that operate it.  Come 50 y they replace one Duracell battery with a no name one. At 60 they replace the other Duracell battery. At 65 someone steals one no name battery. At 70 you are wondering where to buy batteries from.
 
Take care.

I feel sorry I read this twice!


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
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13 hours ago, giddyup said:

Problem is, the older you get the less motivated you become, and possible physical limitations prevent you doing those things as well.

Motivation to do what? As you get older you should get, at some stage, wisdom of a kind that you never had when young. The knowledge that things are the way they are and you allow things to be as they are. When you realize this there is harmony, there is no need to change anything, it is as it is, it is perfect. You reach a stage of unknowing, lose all concepts, perceive without judgement and accept. Interests can be followed but there is no urgency, it isn't important, there is peace.

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10 hours ago, simon43 said:

... ignore all the advice about slowing down and taking it easy because you're 'old'.  Do the opposite and live life to the full.

Exactly,  well put.

 

If you have money, spend it, unless you're looking to be the richest person in the cemetery,

 

In the gym, add just a little more weight,

 

Yes, I do want to see the dessert menu,

 

Tell her, I'm not good as I once was,

but I'm good once as I ever was, 

 

We'll go until we don't, 

never slow down, just look at your to-do list for today
and get on it,

 

 

 

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I personally revel in the good health that I don't deserve and feel mentally no different from when I was 30, more astute in fact. At 71 I can still do everything that I have ever done before. I enjoy watching the drama of life unfold and yet remain detached from it all, it's just a play on the stage that I can join in if I wish but feel no need to, nothing changes, things happen and then they stop happening all by themselves. Once you realize that you are not the doer everything becomes easy, the ease of being is a joy.

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13 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

The fact that I now look like a down-at-heal version of my father is a bit of a shock..

 

This is a great topic.Well done OP.

Sorry to hear about your Dad!

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Yeah, i know it's not too important but the spelling errors bother me.

Correct is 'down-at-the-heels', implying a shabby deterioration, like a shoe in great need of repair.

I'll be 76 soon and doing pretty well.  Many of my contemps are gone, some suffer ill health or poverty or worse. I strive to cultivate an equanimity of mind and acceptance of crumbling knees.

I find it very easy to overdue the physical effort and so, sleep the next day.  No smoking! and only a few beers per week. I'll make it until i don't.

Quote

 

 

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At 85, my health is still good. I am following Clint Eastwood's advice and trying not to let the old man in. If you did not know when you were born you would not have to worry about how old you are. Everything for me is beginning to slow down.

 

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Every decade my final school year class has a reunion, and the physical changes that have taken place with my old buddies who I haven't seen for a decade can be overwhelming.........to the point that some are unrecognisable.

 

Always interesting to note how harshly Father Time has treated those with smoking, drinking, work stress and other negative lifestyle choices.

 

2020 will be the next get-together.    Name badges will be worn so no surviving alumni member in our thinning ranks should have to ask me who I am.

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I'm 73 and like someone else here, I don't dwell on the fact of dying.  Quite the opposite.  I live as if I'm immortal.  I refuse to plan for death.  When it comes, it can take me by surprise.

Although I would like the answer to just one question.  Where will I die?  I'd make damn sure I never went there!!!

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14 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

i am 64 and go dancing in clubs in Bangkok and all my girlfriends are half my age and that really helps. 

Yeah dude Ive seen you, I give you a lot of credit, dancin like an palsied deformed Peter Crouch like figure amidst all those young hotties shows true stregnth of character. The you lady I was with said "Look, falang pahpah dance him crazy" and I thought, yeah, there is a dude in tune with his own inner idiot. 

 

Kudos to you! Go out rocking!

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14 hours ago, giddyup said:

For a start I avoid mirrors at all costs, but I also try not to think about death being just around the corner, it's inevitable anyway and can only cause major depression if you become too fixated on it. At 77 I worry more about being sick and infirmed rather than actually dying.

For me, I think the biggest blow would be having to quit reading. After retiring I started again with a vengeance but still have a very long list of books to get through... I didn't read much from about 2001 until I picked up a Kindle a couple of years back (good n cheap option on Shopee - I think it was 4200) because was just so much trouble travelling around, finding bookshops etc.

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I will be your age next year but I stay healthy etc. I look at it this way it will happen sooner than later and could have happened in my previous 69 years. When I see the deaths of people younger than me I thank my lucky stars that I have managed a full life time. In the Uk their are 16 suicides a day and most are less than 45 years of age plus I see nearly every day in the news the death of someone younger than me, So I am grateful for a complete life. Its all about a positive attitude.

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Swear a lot, procrastinate, tell everyone life was so much better years ago, pretend your deaf to make them repeat themselves, get others to do the heavy lifting and generally get grumpy.
Enjoy the status of 'grumpy old man' and give back to them what they gave you in your earlier years.

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22 minutes ago, DonaldBattles said:

At 85, my health is still good. I am following Clint Eastwood's advice and trying not to let the old man in. If you did not know when you were born you would not have to worry about how old you are. Everything for me is beginning to slow down.

 

As I sit down and look out over the field

I suddenly realize it's getting time to yield

with each passing day I can recall

the faded memories, that's about all

in true spirit and love that I once shared

it don't matter no more cause there gone, who cares

i'll drink to good life and cheers all round

for the bright light is coming to which i'm bound.

 

 

 

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14 hours ago, Rookiescot said:

Mate its inevitable. You cant avoid it.

My advice is you pick something you really would find fulfilling and make that your goal. That way when we all shuffle off at least you can say "I did it my way".

Apologies if I just planted  Frank Sinatra into your head 🙂 

the  OPs post is a good and very important subject for anybody over 65 yrs old...

thailand is a great place to spend our last few years--warm climate and relaxed people...

but nowhere is much good if we dont have very amole savings or investment income for next 25yrs.

keeping healthy and mentaly occupied, is also very important...

personally, i am fortunate-that i have excellent health, a little overweight,but look quite good for my age-i am also very sexually active, with mostly, very young ladies...

i have very ample investments to give me a good life for next 25yrs+..

should anything change--i can easily go back home..

 

i dont stress about things-like the op does--- my business life and previuos marriage was all stress--

so stress is a very dirty word, to me..

i am a little paranoia about my age, get criticism from family at home--re playing with young that ladies.

i spent over 40 yrs working 80+hrs per week, so i believe i owe it my myself-to make the most of my life NOW... everyday is critical...

im quite sure that young thai ladies help to keep me young...im not so stupid, that i have the need to marry one...

at 68 yrs old-i think my 'good years' are minmal, maybe 10 or 12yrs, so im making the most of everyday.

although most  of my family on fathers side live well into 90s, dementia has been a problem.

i try to eat plenty of greens and keep mentaly active..

it is a little hard to get mentally stimulating conversation in thailand,though.....

in spite of all the criticisms about P attaya--its an interesting place to live..

im sure that living in the country would add to 'boredom' problems..

if i get bored, i just do a short trip to a nearlby country, stay 6-10 days, then return...

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2 minutes ago, steven100 said:

As I sit down and look out over the field

I suddenly realize it's getting time to yield

with each passing day I can recall

the faded memories, that's about all

in true spirit and love that I once shared

it don't matter no more cause there gone, who cares

i'll drink to good life and cheers all round

for the bright light is coming to which i'm bound.

 

 

 

55555, a bit different to Dylan Thomas's attitude when he wrote:-

 

Do not go gentle into that good night

Old men should burn and rave at close of day

Rage, rage at the dying of the light.

 

His is better written but your attitude is more desirable.

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15 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Age is nothing more than a number, ignore the numbers as there is nothing you can do about those.

It's about how you feel, and your own attitude, you can decide how that goes, don't focus too far ahead as you may never get there any way.

Focus in the now the more immediate future and what you are going to do with it while you are still able, healthy etc. 

Focus on what you can do, not what you can't.

i must be getting old .When I went to renew my club membership they offered me 1 year   5years, or 10 years and I asked for 6 months.

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14 hours ago, Pilotman said:

What does irritate me, especially in LOS , is the younger people's reaction to older age. There seems to be a general feeling in all societies, but particularity noticeable in Thailand, that older people, post 60, are geriatric, know nothing, can remember less and are no longer valuable or valued members of society.  We are in many ways merely 'tolerated' and that does have the ability to <deleted> me off.  This idea that older people are valued and revered in Asia is plain BS, they are tolerated too, sometimes with barely concealed irritation.   

This idea that older people are valued and revered in Asia is plain BS, 

This attitude also creeps in with old age. Crotchety, grumpy and always been annoyed with the younger set - that makes them treat you like that. Yea, old age reduces your level of tolerance to the outside world.

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14 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

Don't get a DVT-not unusual in flying as it will ruin your entire day.

 

It has has happened to two friends of mine-curiously enough,one Belgian and one Dutch.

 

You are in good health until you ain't.You will know it when it happens to you.

TaKe 600mg of Aspirin before you fly and every? during flight and for 3 days after.  It thins blood and reduces the effect of DVT. 

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15 hours ago, Rookiescot said:

Mate its inevitable. You cant avoid it.

My advice is you pick something you really would find fulfilling and make that your goal. That way when we all shuffle off at least you can say "I did it my way".

Apologies if I just planted  Frank Sinatra into your head 🙂 

Well said. Death is INEVITABLE, so just get on and do what YOU want to do while you can. Don't be sucking on your last breath thinking that you should have done that...………………………, whatever it was.

 

I have too many health issues, to really do much- it takes me 4 times as long to do anything physical, and motivating myself is a problem.

Mostly I'm sorting out a lifetime of stuff before I depart, as if I don't it'll all just get dumped or given to the op shop-  thousands of photos, hundreds of recorded DVDs etc. No one I know will be bothered to sort through hundreds of bits of paper and dozens of boxes of stuff.

If I get to the end of the sorting, I think I'll try and rent a nice place close to the supermarket and Dr etc, then watch my DVDs, eat too much, get fat and have a massive heart attack because I don't do any exercise. My biggest fear now is ending up in a rest home- short staffed because the owners won't pay enough to get good staff ( as with most of them now ) and left to rot in front of day time tv. I saw where my father lived before he died, and I was appalled- the food was muck for a start. Not how I want to live, anyway.

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