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The getting old curse – How are you dealing with it?


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I will kick off with the words of wisdom.

 The great comedian George Burns (him with the cigar always in the mouth) lived to be over 100 years of age...was asked in an interview what did his doctor think about his smoking. George replied "I don't know,  he died 10 years ago" 

   Now the words of wisdom...she asked him if he had any regrets over his long life (the interview was on his 90th birthday)...He replied.. "Yes, I do..."I regret not realising how young I was when I was 80".

  Myself, I will be 70 early next month...and I am beginning to feel a growing sense of fear....the reason...I am alone in this life, (specially since my Thai lady of 10 years and I broke up).. The reason I am alone is because I am a recovered Alcoholic (stopped drinking 20 years ago, one year before coming to Thailand). The consequences of a lifetime of active alcoholism can be drastic. I have not seen my 6 children for many many years, never met most of my 10 grand-children. My wife died about 6 years ago after spending the last 20 years of her life in a mental institution.

  I have had many good and dear friends die early from the same disease who would have loved to have reached "old".

Recently, the thoughts that run through my head are....What happens if I slip in the shower, or have an accident on my motorbike, or fall going down the stairs....There is nobody to call.

  Sometimes I reach out to my HP..(God to some people) when I remember the great trust I had in same...and use to live my life accordingly.

  

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PS, if one wants a peaceful life in one's later years, don't watch the news on tv or read newspapers- either of those make me angry at the way the world is going- it becoming demented, IMO.

I don't even watch commercial tv as the ads annoy me something terrible.

Listening to music one likes, and reading are good ways to relax, not tv.

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'getting old" - it's a mental thing, which is affected mostly by how physically fit you are. If you exercise regularly, eat healthy and have some personal interest that keeps you challenged, you will start a snowball effect which will make you look better and feel better. It will take time, but it's never too late to start and reap the benefits. If you are lazy, then it's in your interest to change that attitude...

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I am pinning my hopes on genetics combined with a last ditch attempt at living healthier.

 

My father lived till 80 but only passed due to an asbestos-related industrial cancer he likely picked up in his 40's employment as an electrician in the shipyards. Before that he golfed 3 times a week since his retirement at 65 and had just built a second bathroom single-handed in his Devon cottage.

 

My mother passed last year at age 95 but unfortunately the last 3 years were hellish due to dementia. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

 

I am 65 next February and now feel I am where I planned to be for my remaining years. Married to a wonderful lady living in a nice house we built together 2 years ago in a very small village in Central Thailand. I have waited a long time to answer 'nothing' to those who ask me what I do. Village life is quiet but it now suits me after 5 years in Cambodia almost killed me and I am not exaggerating. I miss my Cambodian friends of course but the upside is my health has improved dramatically. I adapted quickly 2 years ago in Thailand to a keto lifestyle. Low Carb High Fat, rarely drink alcohol. never smoked and now 20Kg lighter, blood pressure and glucose (I am Type 2 Diabetic) normalized and generally feel great. I keep a daily record of my bood ressure and sugar levels, as well as weight, which is still on the way down, 5 Kg to go.

 

I do think about death quite often but not to the point of getting depressed. It is a quiet (yes sometimes boring) life but I keep busy most days. When cabin fever sets in we go to Hua Hin or somewhere similar for a week or so to enjoy some good food and a choice of more than 2 brands of beer. Wherever I go for a trip I get a range of blood tests done.

 

I am learning to play the guitar (for the last 30 years!), read every day, and for those of you who may be interested, keep a daily journal with a vague plan to maybe someday write up my memoirs.

 

I find this a great aid to memory loss. On a quiet day I will just write for the sake of it, I never run out of topics or projects. For example I have an ongoing page that I record names of friends I had from previous jobs in the UK and abroad as I remember them. I have neverending anecdotes from my time in China many moons ago, Cambodia and now Thailand. I use an app called Journey if anyone is interested.

 

I am not sure for me this lifestylle change will be too little too late but I believe in going down fighting. I think dwelling on death too much could only speed up its approach. I intend to enjoy it in my own way right to the end.

 

 

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8 minutes ago, Saltire said:

do think about death quite often but not to the point of getting depressed

Death isn't an "enemy"- being abandoned in a "rest home" is to be feared.

I don't fear death, which would be pointless, but I hope it's not after a stroke which leaves me incapacitated for years. Dementia or Alzheimer's is also to be feared. 

I'm pinning my hopes on too many pensioners costing too much bringing in euthanasia on demand.

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At 77 I swim daily. Thailand is a country where you don't have to act your age. Always think there are new adventures ahead. I had a fantastic time with a new girlfriend on a special New Year's Eve, my 75th birthday. You are only as old as who you eat. 🙂

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12 hours ago, simon43 said:

I hope/expect it to be dropping dead quickly when I'm jogging

love to enjoy life, start another adventure again and again.

keeling over while jogging is a good idea, 
but I also like : "to enjoy life and declare bankruptcy the day I die"

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21 minutes ago, KKr said:

love to enjoy life, start another adventure again and again.

keeling over while jogging is a good idea, 
but I also like : "to enjoy life and declare bankruptcy the day I die"

Every day in LOS was a new adventure for me. Life back home is like groundhog day, over and over and over.

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16 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

i stay with people who have a younger mind set. i had to tell a lifelong friend to stop with the old folks jokes because they don't apply to me.

 

i am 64 and go dancing in clubs in Bangkok and all my girlfriends are half my age and that really helps. 

 

motorcycle trip all over Thailand coming up oct, nov dec.

 

if you don't like my illusion or delusion please keep it to yourself.

 

Illusion is the first of all pleasures, according to Voltaire. In my eighties, I have finally come round to agreeing with him!

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16 hours ago, ivor bigun said:

I have had a life many of you would have loved to have had,spent time in London among many famous people in the 60s and 70s ,have been married and lived with women much younger than me, have travelled all over the world and had a heart attack at quite a young age.
Now in my 70s i have been married to my younger than me wife for over 20 yrs we are as happy as larry, i think about dying ,but just hope its quick.
Anyway i have done my bit for the human race and have 2 great offspring.

Sent from my SM-A720F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

At least, your ego has stayed young.

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5 hours ago, Lacessit said:

IMHO beliefs in an afterlife or reincarnation are rather pathetic cries for relevance and meaning. There is no factual evidence to support them. Only myths and legends.

Yet it has been estimated that 80% of humans worldwide believe in an unseen deity /higher power  

Also with no factual evidence to support them.  

 

"You're either busy living or busy dying"   makes  sense.  Money /insurance helps though  55

 

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17 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Disagree, things don't happen because you are certain age. Yes deterioration happens but that effects different people in different ways based on many factors of which actual age figures probably the least.

the length of time that a person has lived or a thing has existed.
"he died from a heart attack at the age of 51"
synonyms: number of years, lifetime, duration, length of life;
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Just now, giddyup said:
the length of time that a person has lived or a thing has existed.
"he died from a heart attack at the age of 51"
synonyms: number of years, lifetime, duration, length of life;

Thought we agreed to disagree ?

He didnt die because he was 51 though did he.

 

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17 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

i stay with people who have a younger mind set. i had to tell a lifelong friend to stop with the old folks jokes because they don't apply to me.

 

i am 64 and go dancing in clubs in Bangkok and all my girlfriends are half my age and that really helps. 

 

motorcycle trip all over Thailand coming up oct, nov dec.

 

if you don't like my illusion or delusion please keep it to yourself.

 

+1  Certainly not delusion in my opinion 

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17 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

i stay with people who have a younger mind set. i had to tell a lifelong friend to stop with the old folks jokes because they don't apply to me.

 

i am 64 and go dancing in clubs in Bangkok and all my girlfriends are half my age and that really helps. 

 

motorcycle trip all over Thailand coming up oct, nov dec.

 

if you don't like my illusion or delusion please keep it to yourself.

 

Great advice...I do the same and go to the gym 5 times a week. Travel regularly. Stay active. As long as you have your health and your mind your age is just a number.

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17 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

i stay with people who have a younger mind set. i had to tell a lifelong friend to stop with the old folks jokes because they don't apply to me.

 

i am 64 and go dancing in clubs in Bangkok and all my girlfriends are half my age and that really helps. 

 

motorcycle trip all over Thailand coming up oct, nov dec.

 

if you don't like my illusion or delusion please keep it to yourself.

 

I live with the same mindset for the most part. I have a very nice mixed balance of friends with varying ages 30 to 55 but no one older then me. I found that the expat guys I met or know my age or older seem to have various limitations both physically and mentally. Plus most I have zero in common with. I find that many foreigners here live remote and become removed and secluded and then do very little activity wise. In general I think many of them show up on TVF and are the grumpy argumentative types. 

 

Physically speaking we all "age" differently and the actual number does not matter. Its about ones states of mind, capabilities and willing to stay active on engage in new hobbies to replace the ones they can no longer do. While  having younger Thai women might have input on some and how they feel, it has none on me, older or younger. I am a very active guy and find that one issue here is quite a few Thai folks do not have disposable income to take on hobbies. so they work and wait for the weekend to sleep. With the older expat, its not about disposable income, its about what they want to do, or not as the case may be. It is very difficult to meet like minded expats, thus I do not associate much with them. 

 

Do not worry about aging. Live and do what you like. We all will die and that is the reality. Worrying about it or waiting on it is depressing (and a common mental state of mind many trap themselves into) and a waste of valuable time

 

 

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1 hour ago, Saltire said:

I think dwelling on death too much could only speed up its approach.

absolutely,
and what is more, it makes the time to that day seem so much longer.
("<deleted>, woke up again" that kind of thoughts.)

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1 minute ago, Searat7 said:

Great advice...I do the same and go to the gym 5 times a week. Travel regularly. Stay active. As long as you have your health and your mind your age is just a number.

It's a number that tells you how long you have lived, and gives a fair indication of how many years you may have left.

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1 hour ago, Mac98 said:

At 77 I swim daily. Thailand is a country where you don't have to act your age. Always think there are new adventures ahead. I had a fantastic time with a new girlfriend on a special New Year's Eve, my 75th birthday. You are only as old as who you eat. 🙂

There's a say, .. men are as old as they feel, while women are as old as they look …   therefore,  women peak at 18, men at 80.. 

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6 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

Yes-but are we as a species really able to contemplate our own personal extinction?

Like soldiers in a trench we are certainly able to visualize the extinction of others (him-but not me..) but could we ever go "over the top" if our self extinction was assured?

After all we know that we will (hopefully) recover from the anaesthetic and that "being" is the only yardstick we can use when contemplating "nothingness".

that is as deep as the water around your house at this time.    

 

 

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I am going to be 80 in January and I too think about my passing. But I’ve had a good life with a few exceptions and I knew it wasn’t meant to last forever. So I have made it my objective to get “right” with my maker and to make sure those friends and family That are still alive know without a doubt how much I appreciate them being in my life.

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Great topic & sooner or later affects us all.

I play golf & get a bit tired after 2 games 2 days in a row. Strange never used to feel a thing.

Some of health problems are genetic with little one can do to help.

Eat well, sleep well & that last beer of the night you don't need 555.

Try & stay active, positive & having a loving family around is a bonus which I really enjoy.

There must be many who are pretty lonely out there & I feel for them

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17 hours ago, giddyup said:

That's possible for all of us is it? I'd say he's the exception rather than the rule. Genetics has a lot to do with it.

71 year old women broke worlds record for half marathon (her age group)

https://globalnews.ca/news/5760189/grandmother-jeannie-rice-breaks-half-marathon-record/

 

90 year old women breaks world marathon record

Yes genetics plays a part in aging but not everything. My family cousins ,aunts ,uncles live to their late 80's early 90's I will be 72 on the 28th of September and many of the guys I ran track with in high school are gone now. One of the reasons --they stopped. I kept running/jogging untill I was 65. moved here got lazy and fat ( too hot to run ) and had a heart attack. Recovered fully and got back into exercising. To give my knees a break I ride a bike now 5---12 miles every day ( in cooler evening), work out with weights 3 times a week,practic kung-<deleted> ,ect.  There are herbs, vitamins and other suppliments that can alliviate many symptoms of aging. I have no arthritis pain in any joints of my body even after all the years of running, kung-<deleted>, and broken bones in hand and arm. I won't ever run as fast as I did when I was 20 or lift as much weight but I can be the best I can be at my age if I keep moving, hang/ sleep with younger generation (my wife is 45--practices yoga and rides with me) Seems like you and the OP are suffering from depression and are very pessamistic. I survived the Army and heart attack. I will die as we all do at some time but I will enjoy my time till I go.

Look at the majority of Farangs siiting at the beer bars in Pattaya who are extremely over weight and probably do no exercising at all. They may be happy with their young bar girls ( seems to keep them active) but sitting (at a bar or keyboard=couch potatoe) drinking all day is not a healthy lifestyle. It's never to late to start ,As Thai say "it's up to you"

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”

 

 

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